ROFL.
I like this - entertaining in a morbid way.
Hey, yuppie dude, why don't you just hire a hooker? That way, YOU can choose and no one has to choose you
Furthermore, if you are offending the ladies over 30, you are a bad, bad strategist (I wonder how you manage to be a yuppie with such lack of social skills?). If you offend the ladies over 30, they aren't gonna offer you their friends or younger sisters. They'll just give you a bad name and you'll be reduced to paying for a prossie.