SuperKat 0 #1 August 18, 2005 AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES ·If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and presto. The blockage will be almost instantly removed. · Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away. · Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by simply using the sink. · For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer. · A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button. · If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough. · Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you will forget about the toothache. Sometimes, we just need to remember what the rules of life really are: You only need two tools: WD-40 and Duct Tape. · If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. · If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape. Remember: · Everyone seems normal until you get to know them. · Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom. · If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You get another chance. And finally, be really nice to your family and friends; you never know when you might need them to empty your bedpan. What's the most you ever lost in a coin toss, Friendo? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shortyj 0 #2 August 18, 2005 superkat very funnyPlaytime is essential. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites