Fearjoburg

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Posts posted by Fearjoburg

  4. A black man from Harlem were invited to a fancy dress party and asks his wife to go and hire an outfit for him.

    That evening after he came home, he found a spiderman suit lying on the bed. Very upset he tells his wife she need to get something else because Spiderman always were a white dude.

    The following evening he finds a Superman suit on the bed. He tells his wife that she is stupid because both Spiderman and Superman are white guys and he is black! - he wants a costume that will look good on a black man.

    The next evening he finds a bunch of white dots, a white belt and a white stick on the bed.

    He calls his wife and asks "Whats this?" to which she answered "You undress yourself until you are naked and stick the white dots on your body then you are a domino block! If you don't like that then put the white belt around your waste and then you are a Oreo Cookie. If you don't like that you shove the white stick up your ass and then you go as a Magnum Ice Creamm!!"

  9. The husband gets home after visiting the doctor and is looking seriously worried.

    His wife asks:"What is wrong"
    He answers "The doctor said I must drink one of these pills for the rest of my life."

    She: "Lots of people drink some kind of pill everyday."

    Husband: "But he has only given me 10 pills!"

  10. Koos and Piet had a VERY jolly good time at the local pub, so much so that Koos puked on his own shirt. “Sannie is going to kill me, this is a brand new shirt and a gift from her." moans Koos.

    “Man, just put a $20 note in your shirt and tell her a guy in the bar vomited on your shirt and he gave you the money to go and clean it.” is Piet's clever plan.

    Finally when Koos got home, Sannie waited up for him “Koos you drunk ass; tonight I will kill you! Your shirt is full of puke, what is wrong with you?!”

    “No no, wait my love, the shirt its a guy at the bar who puked on it and gave me $20 to clean it, look here it is in the pocket of the shirt...”

    Sannie inserts her hand in the shirt pocket and takes out 2 $20.
    “And this, here is 2 $20 notes?”

    Koos looks at her with tears in his eyes and says, “o yes, I forgot he also shit in my pants”

  11. Quote

    I have no facts or figures, but anecdotal information says that terminal for a cat is pretty slow.

    There's quite a few high fall survivals that are pretty amazing.
    And there's a "dead zone" for lower falls.

    It seems like a cat can survive a low fall as if it jumped down.
    A fall that is too high to land from a jump will injure or kill it. The position it assumes during the acceleration part (kind of spread-eagled) keeps it from being able to land well.

    BUT...
    Once it reaches terminal and can't feel the "fall" anymore, it resumes a normal body position and can survive the landing, sometimes with a broken jaw from it's face hitting the ground, sometimes unhurt.

    The "dead zone" is from 1 to 2 stories up. They usually don't survive a fall of that height.
    But they often do survive from 3 stories or higher.



    Don't cats have like nine lives or something?:ph34r:

  14. Quote

    Just had this conversation with a friend of mine and wanted to know what others thought.
    If you had been involved in a skydiving accident and your SO asked you to give up the sport because of it would you?

    My thoughts were I couldn't ask them to give up something they love.



    Yes I would. But luckily my wife is very supportive.

  17. Hi there.

    I thoroughly enjoy reading the history thread as a newby in the sport.

    Please feel free to post videos of your jumps with rounds in this thread.

    This video is my instructor who put me through harness training and a special friend to me. Although not a historic jump in the true sense of the word I hope it brings back good memories for some of you.

    The jump took place in Bloemfontein South Africa as part of the annual 44 parachute battalion water jumps.

    Jump is from 1000 ft and got some line twists as well as reminder to release the capewell (I think) before hitting the water.

    clicky