souleil

I'll quit boring everyone with my every little move forward ..after I get my A. This journaling has been a profound experience for me, and the support from experienced jumpers as well as those in the learning curve with me has been really great. I appreciate all the comments :) Oh, and I stand, but I'm usually so surprised that I'm up, that I fall over and just sit, lol

Jump 20 was actually fun, I jumped with my mentor since I was 5 weeks out and needed to do a coached dive anyway (YAY!) I downsized to a 190, which is still enormous for me. I fudged the exit, I was so nervous at the door that instead out in arch, I just got my ok and jumped..Pretty funny when my jm got in front of me we had a little laugh. I played a little tag with her and stayed at her fall rate, did some turns and docked a couple of times before tracking and pulling. Good soft landing and I started to feel the brakes and did better controlling the final approach and hovering a bit before the landing. But liking it better as I achieve more control. AND...the Mr. was totally supportive and easy going. nice comfortable change, makes me want to do it again! I'll be the only person I've met that never failed a jump and achieved A in the 25 required jumps, all I have to do now is pack, hop n pop, and a barrel roll. Everything else is signed off, oh yeah, and have to stand a landing (scared to since the acquisition of metal in my ankle, lol)

Not sure if tomorrow or next week will bring jump#20 and then if it goes well, maybe jumps 20-25. I can't even tell you all how much I appreciate the support, and the spine I'm growing is finding it's way into more aspects of the relationship than just the sky too. It's not the easiest road, and there isn't always peace in my new stronger world, but I am getting a little more hard a$$ed and less sheeplike (I'm embarrassed it has been this way, but I'll own my part of the responsibility). Makes getting in the sky challenging because there's always an argument about who or what or how I exit and jump, but I'm getting firmer and have more strength behind my words. I will post next after the jump. Thanks again!!!

I must say that I LOVE this forum, you have all been so thoughtful and provided so much support....I do talk to the LO's and arranged my 19th jump..yes I did it...so that there were at least 2 coaches on the dive. My husband flew camera and didn't really attain the same fall rate so didn't dock. When I arched hard to to fly at his fall rate he de-arched and was above me. He wanted to exit by pulling me out into a dive next time, and I flat out refused..we definitely argued about how I trusted others before him, and I reassured him that I don't distrust him but that I'm scared to do things his way and need to baby step, that he's fearless and I'm not, and to please allow me to progress at my own pace..We'll see how it goes next weekend, but for my 19th jump, I liked having my other friends in the sky. My fear definitely showed in my exit, did not present strongly and the wind took me a bit. I did get stable in about 5 seconds, and then had fun and landed well.

Read through all of the info you've given me. I appreciate the time you all have taken to guide me. Actually didn't do #19 last week, doing it tomorrow. Worked in the tunnel yesterday, got my exits figured out..hips weren't forward enough,so my arch at exit wasn't as strong as I thought it felt. They had me fly at his airspeed..really tough. He docked on me really hard, from the side and it felt like an anchor...Promised not to do that in the sky. I'm working on getting him to understand that I'm still learning and that as good as he thinks I am in the tunnel, I don't have the sky experience to just 'play games' up there yet. I'd like to learn from the pro's. The DZ has a rule about needing an A license before jumping with random other jumpers...He just says He will be last out and pulling high. I still have this evening to make him feel it's his idea and in his best interest, if I'm happier and more confident for him to back off some and let me get more pro advice..

Just want to thank you all for the support and advice....jump 19 is tomorrow....will keep your thoughts in my head, and try the flips, turns and weird tracking body positions, and reaffirm my ability to get stable, and land safely Quote

In the tunnel, he has a preference for who coaches me, but in that case it's cool, cause she's amazing!! He also gets coaching from her as he's learning to sitfly. We did great in the tunnel the 2nd time we went, no issues at all. I'm liking the sport, it definitely 'ups' my 'cool' factor. Hoping the fear goes away soon. I think as I get less fearful this may all work itself out, I do need to just jump with some of my coach rated female friends...I think if I show less fear and and start to own it more, things will probably work out. Thanks for the info on exiting the skyvan. I was told to just walk off backwards and it was so weird..hated it.

Gotta say that we've done windtunnel and the 1st time the burble thing happened..not cool , but then he managed to deal with the airspace without sucking the wind out of the tunnel and we flew together fairly well, I stayed at his level and hung out, did some turns and no one got crashed into. Love the tunel actually, I wouldn't mind just learning tricks to do in the tunnel. I'm fearful of doing a lot in the sky, did perfect backflips on AFF#6, I'm working on exits, so I can get stable faster. I've ended up upside down twice when doing the floating exit. Also did not like the backwards exit from the skyvan. Too weird to fall out backwards..I correct quickly and don't freak out, it's just not my favorite to be on my back, or head down.

Thanks for understanding, he's a large and in charge kinda guy...and you hit the nail on the head. I know enough people out there, I'll get someone to talk with him without letting him know I asked them to talk with him..

Hi, thanks for the response...He's a little controlling about this issue..I can fly with some of my coach rated friends, he's picky about who I jump with, and definitely wants to be included. I've been divorced too and so I'm really trying to keep the peace here. I just find it challenging enough to learn without having to also deal with testosterone issues..oh well The good news is, he's SUPER supportive and encouraging, and really can't wait until I'm A licensed so he can 'legally' fly with me. It's that his teaching skills are a little on the commanding side, lol.

I need some advice, It took me 3years to get through AFF because I broke my ankle on my 4th AFF jump, and because of surgery (I have a metal addition to my skeleton)I took 2 years off for healing. So now I'm at 18 jumps, but getting out the door (I don't hesitate) still unnerves me. Those 1st 6 seconds until I'm completely belly to earth and stable are very challenging. My husband who has around 500 jumps wants to be my only instructor, he is only B licensed and all the LO's and instructors at my DZ are all willing to fly with me and help me, but my husband is insulted that I won't ask him to teach me everything I want to know. I am looking for suggestions to help me get over my fear#1, and suggestions on how to get him to understand that as great as he is, I would still like to learn from professionals who are qualified to teach without hurting his precious male ego.