Scratch

Warning!!!!!
DO NOT TOUCH
Surface may be HOT

What would I have given to be able to get into the drivers seat with you at the top of the ladder.

"What is that sound?"
"What sound?"
"That whirr-whirr sound"
"Oh THAT sound. It's just Olympia kick starting her boyfriend"

I'm with Aggie on this one. I have not had a cigarette in 7 months. Every now and then I really, really, really want one though. Ignore the craving and it goes away. After stopping the first thing you notice is how badly smokers stink, particularly at the end of the day. That knowlage helps when things get hard.

Your mom only weighs 15 lbs

Ensure the cats are female. The girls are better mousers. Let nature take it's course

"actually thought you were one of them too.. "

The man is going to beat you for that particular mistake

Get a cat

I always thought that FBI stood for "Fucking Ball Itch" so d_squared431 makes perfect sense and confirms my understanding of the acronym

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you better be careful with your words.. you know why a trainwreck is a trainwreck!? coz I fucked with it!

I am having visions of a naked, skinny, pale as paper, Swiss guy standing on the railway tracks with a hard on bellowing at the oncoming train. "I AM Virgin-Burner......Bitch"

I chose 'I like him'
We have similar views on gardening and pet behaviour

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Soccer?? You mean that Boring ass game where a Bunch of Sissy boys run back and forth chasing a ball for a couple hours and hardly anyone ever manages to get it in the net? And then when one of them gets even a Hang nail, They roll around on the ground writhing in agony untill some washed up former sissy boy with a whistle runs up and sticks a card in someones face?

Sorry, I would rather watch the paint dry. Much more exciting.

You're right. What we need are more sports with countless time outs and commercial breaks while men in tights slap each other on the ass during their respite. Those are the games that real men play.

Which is why Rugby in it's various formats and Aussie rules football are the sports for real men to play. Well real men with good health insurance that is

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I've heard the Europeans get quite a laugh at our warning labels.

Not just the Europeans

I have had some serious WTF moments when looking at American Equipment

Just LOOK at his dog. Whatever VB is doing back there...it is not small

I see it now.
For the heinous crime of thread drift and implying that it is ok to let your dogs eat your sprinkler

We are gonna get banned

I actually like your 're-cycle' frame of mind. When you are done shagging you could stick a hose pipe up the most convenient hole and turn her into a lawn sprinkler........

"The Hostel" all I can think of now is "The Hostel"

'A pulse is your only requirement right?'

Nope. I would imagine a little bit of slowly fading body heat will also be acceptable.

"Jou fokken bliksem! Ek is nou gatvol vir jou blerrie stront."

Translated

You fucking (person who is too cleaver/cheaky for their own good). I am now full to my asshole with your bloody shit"

Yup Afrikaans is better. That gutteral accent makes the threat of imminant violence also seem so much more real.

"Always resort to your native tongue in times of anger."

I am an english speaker but oddly enough I revert to Afrikaans most of the time. It is just sooo much better for that sort of thing

Crap.

[packing] bags [/packing]

I am on my way

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Hijack!

Where in SA are you gonna be? If you're coming to the winelands (around Cape Town), gimme a shout

I see drunk people
Will be in CT

It's not so bad. 1999 model.....time for a new one

Me.