triednolike

In reply to: leaving my 2 cessna dz in a trail of dust on my way to a magical place with altitude and desert scenery! a large group of westex skysports' regulars are going to Marana for their $99 weekend. __________________________________________________ Dude, Forget Marana and drive just a bit further to Eloy. My husband jumped at Marana for his first tandem and then discovered Eloy. What a difference!! It's a beautiful DZ and has much better aircraft. I would categorize Marana's equipment in the rickety, about to fall apart, category. Eloy is a happening place and I don't even jump (I just go to hang out with my husband and drink beer). You have to at least go to Eloy once just to check it out! You'll be glad you did.

RE: If you were looking to pass the blame of your relationship problems off on a sport, plese don't. I don't know either one of you, but from what you said he sounds inconsiderate and you sound very controlling albeit passive. I fail to see how either of these issues, or any other you might have , relate to skydiving! I have already wasted too much time responding to this post but please don't blame skydiving for the problems in your marrage, we have enough problems with the perception of our sport. ____________________________________ Please don't misinterperet my uncertainties and questions as trying to pass off blame and/or responsibility. I DO realize it is only a symptom of a much bigger problem. I was only trying to get some insight from people who are dedicated and love the sport of skydiving. I have learned some useful information and believe I have opened my eyes just a bit from talking to most everyone that responded. I thank you all for the consideration (except you, melissagsc) of taking the time to share your thoughts and "wisdom". Take Care!!! T

In reply to: Get totally vulnerable, tell him your heart. Tell him your fears, and dreams, and needs - without demanding it from him. Figure out what you are missing and what you want. Then take the steps needed to get it into your life. *Ask* him for it, don't demand it. And then, if he can't or won't give it to you, move on. ______________________________ I did get vulnerable and totally opened up to tell him how I felt and what I would like to happen (to stay together of course), but this didn't seem to make a difference. I am trying to stick it out, but I must take care of myself first. I have made the decision to seek help on my own (for myself), and I invited (not demanded) him to go along. We haven't actually attended any counseling sessions together, yet, but I will remain hopeful since he said he would be willing. I just want to be sure that he goes only because HE wants to and not for my sake. I know that I will benefit from therapy whether it's on my own or as a couple. Hell, I think all of us could benefit from seeing a shrink. Life sure throws us some sh-- don't it? I will remain strong and true to myself and my children. I will make sure that I never let it get to a point that I start to hate him. I believe that I will always love him whether we stay together or not. Thanx for responding and helping me to see just a little bit clearer. Take Care!!! T

That is exactly what I've done. I told him that the next move is his. I have tried and tried to talk to him but we have reached the point that we ONLY argue. My statement to him was: "Where would you like to meet to continue this discussion? The Lawyer's office or the Counselor's office?" I guess now I'll just wait and see. Thanx again for the insight. It has helped me to realize I have been trying to put blame where it doesn't belong. Betrayal sucks but Karma is a bitch!!

PEOPLE!!! You are not listening! I am not jealous or asking him to stop jumping. I am merely asking him to stop sneaking around behind my back and stop lying about it. I don't think this qualifies as an unreasonable request. If he thinks it is then we are better off not being together.

Spectra & Sky: FYI!! I was here before he became a skydiver. I never have or never will ask him to give it up. I have been nothing but supportive and encouraging towards his passion. I just can't help get the ass when I am lied to. I realize now that our source of problems are deeper that that. I just can't help it when he goes to DZ every other weekend and stays overnight there(because it is 2 1/2 hrs. from our home), then on the weekends he's home he talks of nothing else except how he can't wait till he goes again. I am not exagerating about this at all. But still, I continue to support his desire for the rush, but I will not support nor tollerate the secrets and deception. Please don't think that I am blaming skydiving for his shortcomings. I hold him completely responsible(even if he doesn't). I have made the decision to move out w/ my 2 boys and focus on our happiness and wellbeing. Who knows, I may decide to do that second tandem someday to see if maybe I can overcome the fear that I experienced the first time. I just might become a skydiver like the rest of you. Thanx again for responding and I hope all of you stay safe and continue to enjoy life!!

Thanx everyone for your responses (.02cents worth). I did do a tandem once and wanted to love it as much as he does (as much as any skydiver I've met does), but unfortunately I didn't. (It scared the sh** out of me). I also have been to the DZ with him a few times. I haven't gotten too bored, yet. After reading your responses, I believe that what I have been trying to deny all along is becoming evident to me. I guess I was wanting to blame our "troubles" on something instead of admitting it is actually our own fault. I now realize that he needs to jump in order to free up his mind for the day to day BS that we all must deal with. I really never believed that "Skydiving" was the reason. I actually have a tremendous respect for you guys/gals. I am actually very intrigued by the sport, but I just choose to remain on the ground. Maybe someday I will be able to have enough courage to do a second tandem. Thanx again!!

Actually, the lies aren't about the skydiving but about who he jumps and hangs out with. I don't believe any "hanky-panky" is going on, but I still can't understand why he would keep it secretive and then lie when I find out. I guess maybe it isn't skydiving that makes him lie, it could just be that he is a piece of s*** person and has no clue just how lucky he is. I have always encouraged and supported his interest in SD until he betrayed me.

I am curious as to how many of you skydivers either have gotten divorced or know someone that has gotten a divorce as a result of one spouse choosing to make skydiving the only thing that matters? I think that I am about to go through this. There is absolutely no middle ground in this case. My spouse has resorted to lying about things that have to do with skydiving and I have never asked that he not do it, only that I am included. He is acting like a drug addict. Do all skydivers have addictive personalities? Or did I just get involved with the wrong one?

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