Yesterday I did my first jump! Actually I guess it was more of a "dear god there is a man who is going to remove himself from an airplane at high altitude with me strapped to his chest!", but I'm gonna call it a jump. It was an airplane with a back dropping type door (I'm so technical, huh?), and I think someone designed it purposely so that there was nothing for me to grab for dear life right at the edge (thanks to that person, by the way). While waiting on the ground I was ok, going into the plane I was ok, getting to altitude I was ok, the first few people out the door I was ok, about the time the two people ahead of me were going out I was getting just a touch nervous (read: scared sh*tless!!), and then I waddled up to that door and looked out... Ok, I've learned that I am a coward. I have also learned that I have no problem being a coward. Fortunately, I am also a coward who does NOT want to be embarrassed and lose $175 for the priviledge. An aside: 1, 2, 3 gives one WAY too much time to think, and ready is not a real good term to use when you are asking someone about jumping out of an airplane... I'd so much prefer just being thrown out the door, maybe with a running start! Ok, so we get out and I am about as scared as I've ever been (except for the moment before), we do some flippy type things and I find out why my dog stops putting his head out the car window when I hit 55MPH or so on the highway. The world is getting bigger at an alarming rate. But the fear slowly subsides a bit and I put my arms out when I feel them being tapped. I'm just getting into this when I hear a voice in my ear "If your goggles start to come off, try to keep a hold of them.". Now I did not notice that my goggles had a wickedly ironic sense of humor before the jump, in fact they seemed very benign and friendly, but obviously they were lying in wait just to hear that phrase. I wear glasses and my goggles are now up on top of my head, not a good situation. I grab the goggles and push them back on (not quite as easy as it sounds), all the while realizing that losing my glasses at several thousand feet is going to be much worse than losing them somewhere in my house. But then I remember my arms are supposed to be out, and the last thing I want to do is kill us because I did not do what I was supposed to do. So I have my fingers at the edge of my goggles and my elbows stuffed out as far as I can put them and I probably look like a chicken trying to fly (well, I guess that is a pretty good simile since I WAS a chicken trying to fly!). I have to say, one feels a bit foolish trying to save a pair of glasses while hurtling towards the earth at excessive speeds. After an all too short time I feel a gentle pull upwards and I think "thats not so bad", of course less than a moment later 90% of me is straining towards the ground while my thighs are straining for outer space, and I wonder if anyone has ever thought of doing the splits at altitude prior to skydiving. Now I am hanging in midair, and this is the third most scared I've ever been (coming close on the heels of 'just out of an airplane' and 'at the open door of an airplane'). Now I hear: "grab the handles", so I grab upwards and after some fumbling find something that feels like a shoelace or a dog leash or something (silly me, I thought I'd find big metal handles), and then I feel the best thing in the world - turning and flaring and dear me, I never knew how good it could feel to pull down and float up and then let up and swoosh down and I only wish I was about to jump out again (well having just jumped would be better since I would not be searching for something to grab for dear life besides the straps on my chest) and I'm wishing I had another $175 in my wallet so I could do this again and then we're coming in and I hear legs up and I do the most important sit up of my life and its over with a bump and a slide. I'm grinning so hard it hurts and I give someone a high five and I have just learned why everyone looks so excited when they walk off the field and why birds sing and bees buzz and why wings are for airborne gods. I rode pegasus through wind and fear and emerged on the other side of Mount Helicon with wings of my own. To all of you who have not jumped: Immortality is available at the rate of $175 dollars. To Skydive Tecumseh: Thank you for being there, you all have given me something I can never repay! To Sporto (I think it was you, at least the picture on the wall that looked like you had that name on it): You were right, I really should have gotten the video!!! To anyone who said anything to me after the jump: Sorry if I did not answer or said something really foolish, I was busy remembering what heaven is all about. Seth P.S. Sorry for the length of this post, I just could not contain it! P.P.S See you all at Skydive Tecumseh tomorrow for the static class!
