Skinflicka

As a thief and a liar, it goes against me amoral code to get caught let alone give myself up.

Sorry...can't help.


But good luck.

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Next thing you know you'll start some newfangled hybrid of wanking and BASE jumping

So passe...try to keep up...fucking skydivers.

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Is there an interest in purchasing a first aid kit designed specifically for BASE jumping?

Perhaps you should post something describing your background...the cynics among us may think you're just out for a quick buck. Some context may help...

Just an idea...and I still think you're a fairy.

For those who don't know...Chad is a medic who has seen active duty...(correct where incorrect, Chad).

I'm suggesting two things in the post above...

1) Chad knows what he's doing.
2) Chad is a fairy

One of those things may be a little inaccurate depending on how much he's drunk.

I think It's a great idea.

$.

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it does not literely mean
a masterbater

Actually Leroy...It does. That's exactly what it means. A wank [noun] describes a scene of primate chastisement just as wanking [verb] is the activity involving the choking of a chicken.

example.

Mike and John enjoyed a wank together.

or Matt wanked all over Denpar's new canopy.

That's how it works, dude. Such is the nature of wanking.

Now, I'm tired...I'm going to slam my genitals in the door a few time for relief.

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Is there an interest in purchasing a first aid kit designed specifically for BASE jumping?

Perhaps you should post something describing your background...the cynics among us may think you're just out for a quick buck. Some context may help...

Just an idea...and I still think you're a fairy.

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runs after and gives RLK a big HUG

Keep your fucking hands off my bitch.

Yes Rhonda Lea. I'm talking to you.

Just for the record...I am not gay...but when I was in prison I fucked a guy who was.

Reach rounds all round.

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If you want to put a picture of your pussy on the internet, Rhonda, thats just fine with me. That will draw far more interest ....than....any....other, ummm....picture.

Having already seen Rhonda's pussy (in her avatar) I have to say that my interest was piqued a little more by this one which I recently removed from the back of a milk carton in Croatia. Rather than the standard "Have you seen this child" title I was amused to read the heading "Free to good home".

Although I have to say ending an advertisement with "minute genitals but other than that, fully functional" is a little harsh for such a young chap.

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What would you do without me?

...masturbate less often.

Don't split it, Tom.

The Kirk woman needs to get off the crack pipe.

Here are some reasons.

1) Not everyone comes here for advice.
2) Not everyone with experience comes here to share knowledge.
3) I don't want you to.
4) It'd be less fun.
5) Hijacking threads is awesome. If you're so boring that people go off topic in 5 sentences then you should quit posting.
6) I don't want you to.
7) If you need advice...get a mentor. Don't come here and ask a question without a sack of flesh to discuss the answer with.
8) I don't want to have to make fun of Felix in 2 places.
9) Please don't.
10) Rhonda Lea Kirk is just plain wrong.
11) You may get less traffic. That's a bad thing. Just ask Knut Mickson.
12) The forum is useless as anything other than entertainment anyway. BASE needs to be mentored not taught. You can't have a value system described sufficiently clearly here. For those whose values do not coincide with those of the community at large then they should not receive training or tuition. They should be ostracized and rightly so. Preserving our core values is the most important part of the mentoring process and this forum doesn't help that very much. At worst, it decays them somewhat. I'll forgive the forum that transgression since it's fun.
13) Cos I want it to stay like this.

Ok, pretty selfish...but I'm a BASE jumper...so fuck what everyone else thinks.

Ms Kirk...you need to find some smarter friends. You are, in essence, completely and utterly wrong.

And I'm right...so now we have that out of the way...how about sending me a nekkid pic of you?



[edited to change who's to whose on the advice of some busy-body in Florida WHOSE sole purpose in life appears to be making fun of a guy WHO'S too busy to write his posts twice.]

Just in case it was lost...

I'll match the 10% to a cause agreed to by concensus by the posters on this thread.

Everyone's a winner.

Don't come to me with problems. Come to me with solutions.

PS I think 10% is pretty fucking lame...I'll match double that at the minimum.

[golf clap]

High quality.

This ups the ante.


More please...

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Edited a third time to correct the spelling of misspell (which I have left deliberately for spite). A retaliation could result in a Lame Harpy for Ms Kirk.

You forgot the little dot that follows "Ms."

Dumbass.

rl

It's called a period...which, incidentally, is what you sound like you're on.

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I pack my pilot chute inside the rig when field packing to avoid any confusion.

Hilarious!

Nice one.

Russian's can't get hotel rooms?

I remember seeing Yuri in a hotel room.

Then again...maybe the goat made the reservation.



edited to make the insinuation that the goat was not, infact, a goat but a sheep in disguise.

OK people.

It's time to see some green.

I have 50 bucks grand prize for the best photoshop conversion of any of the photos involved in that ad.

Captions are also eligible for a $10 prize if they are sufficiently high quality.

Let 'em fly.

Another $50 to any hackers out there who can post the winners on Felix's website.

Bring it on.



edited to respell eligible for the sake of Rhonda Lea Kirk who refuses to sleep with me when I mispell anything.

edited a second time to spell Rhonda Lea's name correctly which resulted in teeth marks in my penis right up to the second mile marker.

Edited a third time to correct the spelling of misspell (which I have left deliberately for spite). A retaliation could result in a Lame Harpy for Ms Kirk.

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If you get tired of Senor Sanchez, don't forget about the "donkey punch" and Molly's personal favorite the "angry dragon"!

Now you're talking. The angry dragon has long been a favored technique of mine.

I actually pioneered a completely new move this very week. I call it the Lame Harpy. I can provide instruction in the theory, if required.

Smiley Haiku for the angry dragon:
Her -
Him -

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http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/business/4081885.stm

i believe this one in Dubai will be the tallest.

I believe you blow hose.

In your local store for queers...

Protection is for women with herpes.

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Best exercise some caution, or I'll sic my new boyfriend on ya.

rl

I'm not scared of Dennis. He pees into a bottle for Christ's sake. What kind of real man can fit his cock in a bottle?

Good luck with that boyfriend. At least you won't need to buy any more dental floss.

Carapace indeed!

There's nothing wrong with my teeth. They're a beautiful shade of tan.

What can you say about the Dutch that hasn't already been written on the ceiling of Denpar's sleeper cab?

Coventry is hardly a singularity in the UK. They hate foreigners there too.

" The Netherlands is analagous to being the butthole of Europe nestled between the a$$cheeks of Belgium and Germany...What a pile of cunts!" - Winston Churchill

...is my new most favorite guy in the whole world.

A free shirt wasn't enough. He had to send me Outrage too and it's a blast.

Thanks man. You're too kind brother.

I put some chick in Florida in her place for you the other day too. She said you had a carapace tattooed on your head. I gave it to her straight..."Wrong bitch...It's a turtle shell".

She hurt me in return.

I can walk again already but the scars will be there for a long time.

Thanks Avery...You da man.

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Ze danes have not ze french skills with ze masturbation...

That's true. The French are the world's greatest wankers.

Sans doubt!

A tout a l'heure.

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BASE pieces of 8! We need six more, any one missing any parts???

My vagina is missing. Does that count?

How sweet!

I, however, have never asked a chick out without her realizing it. We gotta hook up soon brother. You need some help.

I'll take you to a titty bar and show you what a womans breasts look like.

Did you get left on guard duty when the boat came home?

A flick is long overdue...next time you're north on I65 we'll talk...about why you're still a virgin.


PS I've heard RLK only falls for REAL men. You may wanna work out...not just your right arm, too.

Heres Carson from the QEFTSG show...
and Hanky