glorious_alien

I completed my AFF yesterday! Got over that "door monster" and onto coach jumps now! It did take a lot of work on the fear, though, some unorthodox techniques...

Not that it matters at this point, but I conquered that fear and got through 3 tandems and 3 AFF jumps. Got injured landing after my Cat C, but as soon as the break has healed, I am coming back. Thank you, everyone, for supporting me!

You put into words what i feel. I want to be that too. I want it so bad it hurts both mentally and physically > GOOD LUCK I hope you become what you want YOU CAN DO THIS! Thank you, Amyr! Will report on Sunday about progress. Let's hope it will be a good news...

Exactly. I am on the manifest for Sunday. I am not giving up, there is still plenty of fight left in me. Thanks for sharing your story, it really is inspiring.

Do you mean on the way up? You could probably sit at the door! Just explain to them that you're terribly afraid of the door monster and want to get to know it better! At altitude you could probably also get them to go around for you. They did that for me in a King Air once. I'd had trouble on a previous jump getting all the way out the door with my rig, so they held me to last, circled around for another run and gave me plenty of time to climb out. I didn't need it that time around, as it turns out, but I did appreciate it nonetheless. It took a lot of pressure off on that jump. I am going to try to ask them to do that, they probably won't do it considering what a disgraced andpathetic fool I am now in their eyes. Oh well. What I TEMPORARILY lack in balls, I make up for in shamelessness.

This is definitely the most intense emotion of my ENTIRE life, no kidding. It took my by surprise. I did not know I had something like that in me. I do wonder if they would let me stand in the doorway just a little. I already rode a car on a highway at 120 miles an hour while hanging halfway out of it, but it's not the same... But very fun nonetheless...

Hmmm. Porn v. skydiving videos. Not even a contest! (And not because I am a chick, I dig porn too!) But this is an excellent suggestion. Although not entirely possible since I just can't stay away from the dz... I want to be there even if I am not jumping... And when I see people landing with parachutes, i am nearly in tears of joy... Watching skydiving videos makes me long for the sky so much, I can barely breath when I watch them: they are that breathtaking and awe-inspiring to me. And I want to be that!

What he said. They aren't solutions. If you really think you need to take a pill to skydive, find some other hobby. Of course you are right, and this is a chance to grow. And for some reason I don't think that skydiving is really a hobby. It's a state of being, a way to transform into another person, a stronger and more capable one, it's an altered state of mind, it's completely spiritual. No?

Very common reaction.

I did that, many times, millions of visualizations, but the sudden appearance of physical fear took me by surprise. I was perfectly fine all the way up until the door opened.

That's an interesting thought, thank you so very much!

Yeah, can't wait for that one...

the cartoon was funny! thank you!

I have convinced myself that I will pull at any time that I feel uncomfortable freefalling, even if it means that I fail to pass the jump.

I was looking into Atenolol, and only for a couple of jumps, to just get over this, and not for the long run at all! It is just so bizzare - to be hit with this pure physiological fear. I have NEVER experienced this in my entire life! The whole skydiving adventure has turned into a major self-discovery, and that's another reason why I can't just give it up.