ntrprnr 0 #1 October 14, 2005 Nature, Mother The Sky Planet Earth 14 October, 2005 Dear Ms. Nature: It is with professional regret that I write this letter, as I was hoping we could solve this without having to take this issue to this level. As you are well aware, I, and man of my fellow skydivers on the East Coast, have been unable to skydive for at least eight days now. This is totally and completely due to your efforts (or lackthereof,) and despite numerous attempts to rectify the situation (praying, sun dances, and the like) you've shown no signs of changing your current style of doing things. Please understand, this is not a personal attack on you. In fact, I've been very impressed with you in the past. I've lost count of the terrific suntans you've given me, not to mention numerous full moons of which I've taken advantage of on several occasions, using them as lures to kiss unsuspecting women under the guise of, "there's a full moon - let's go look at it!" But lately, well, you've just been falling down on the job. With you, it seems to be either all or nothing. either sun, sun, sun, and 120 degrees, or enough rain to that heading to work this morning, I saw an older man with a beard loading pairs of animals onto a boat. I'm sorry it had to come to this, as I said. But I can't simply sit here and let my skydiving career, and the skydiving career of thousands of my colleagues, suffer due to your inability to act like a professional. In closing, I'm prepared to offer you one more chance. As you may know by the happy dance I performed last Friday, I just recently got a new skydiving rig. My offer is this: Next weekend - The Ranch, in Gardiner, NY, needs to be sunny, dry,and bright. If it is, I'm willing to forget this ugly incident ever took place. If it's not, however, you can expect a much more formal letter from my attorneys, and the immediate legal action to follow. Regards, ntrprpr PS: So you understand that I'm just upset at this breakdown, and not your work ethic, I must again compliment you on your Northern Lights display of a few months ago. Terrific visuals - I've recommended your work to many of my colleagues based on that display alone._______________ "Why'd you track away at 7,000 feet?" "Even in freefall, I have commitment issues." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
masterblaster72 0 #3 October 14, 2005 I think mother nature is going to do you one better and make tomorrow a nice day, at least in the PM. Forecast is looking good.... Be humble, ask questions, listen, learn, follow the golden rule, talk when necessary, and know when to shut the fuck up. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SkydiveStMarys 0 #4 October 14, 2005 Loooooove it! Make copies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Other weather makers need to be made aware that there is NO slacking on the job!!!!!! BobbiA miracle is not defined by an event. A miracle is defined by gratitude. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mr2mk1g 10 #5 October 14, 2005 I couldn't decide which response to write. Quote Dear Mr. ntrprnr, We write further to your letter of the 14th October, the contents of which are noted with interest. We here at Mother Nature Ltd. pride ourselves on our total commitment to the quality of services provided to our customers and regret the unfortunate break in transmission. This has been due to routine, scheduled maintenance. We at Mother Nature Ltd. care about our customers needs and we wish to assure you that an internal restructuring of resources is currently under review so as to avoid such regrettable occurrences as you have experienced over the preceding days. As a token of our appreciation and in anticipation of your continued understanding during the forthcoming restructuring, we are pleased to enclose two free coupons for Outstanding Sunsets ™ to be redeemed at your discretion. We hope this resolves this matter satisfactorily. If you have any further queries or suggestions please do not hesitate to contact your local Mother Nature Ltd. branch or customer representative. Yours faithfully Mother Nature Ltd. Enc. Quote Dear Mr. ntrprnr, I write further to your letter of the 14th October, the contents of which are noted. Quit fucking up my planet or you'll get more of the same. Yours sincerely Mother Nature Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ntrprnr 0 #6 October 14, 2005 HA! Brilliant! :)_______________ "Why'd you track away at 7,000 feet?" "Even in freefall, I have commitment issues." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
