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  1. oh well, don't blame him. we all get confused sometimes. now and then i think i'm batman
  2. or, you could just use the good old sex muscle, nooooo..... your head. head. see, when it comes to the underside of a roof garden, no man can compete with the orange, sometimes gravy tasting tones of a complete stranger's waxed tash. innit
  3. listen up, you have to look for the REAL meaning. the sexually deviant, uplifting, rabit rearing... whatever... meaning. see? it's all about the 80s
  4. there once was a monkey named pichoko. he lived in a hill of karma beans with pink flowers on the side and tropicana flowed like flowy things. one day, a dark cloud came over the hill with baboons in tow, and flicked the switch of terrifying flying thorn bushes. oh no! what was pichoko to do? well, fortunately he had his trusty ant hole, and he climbed inside and did nothing for five years. eventually, once his leg had grown back, since in the second year he had to cut it off to feed the pet cats that had moved in next door and erected a monstrosity of a conservatory, he crawled out and readjusted his eyes to the light with the revolutionary new mind patch that ran off a hand held pc running linux. this being done, he set about building the new world order of competitive fence erection, running down The Great Ridge. numerous challenges were surmounted including but not excluding and including again - the formation of hillside cheese eating picnic centres, the now world famous artificially intelligent lama races (they were born out of the collaboration between the feared penguin and whirpool washing machine alliance, bringing great leaps in sandwich manufacture technology - you will, of course, know the hairy loose leaf sweetcorn munch and retarded duck mayonnaise combo that took the south american 2 minute baguette challenge by storm), the oppression of the newly resplendent ox farmers that had beguiled the princess of the third vegetable patch on the left of the greenhouse belonging to geoffrey, that produced the world's largest organically grown swede (which we fondly remember as No. 6, and was the main ingredient in the fantastic pie that missus hobergauder made for the joyous shed party in november). this is of course not an exhaustive list, and new challenges arise daily, nay, hourly and are formally logged by the council of badger baiters in league with afghan jelly farmers, that tirelessly minute the sit down meetings conducted in spanish only. being a very lucky monkey, his gas cooker had an extra hob dedicated to the furtherment of egg boiling technology, bringing back the watercress growing races that characterised the fifth dynasty (the years between the rules of the gregory and fullumly families) and left an indelible imprint on the psyches of all known arthropods, which were forced to hop on only one toe, and hence developed very hardy immune systems, making them ideal for food service. nose licking has become popular, as pichoko took to sporting a raspberry compote on his nasal orifice, and being a cumly fellow, was happy for the tongues of a nation to stroke his facial area. now i'm sure you will be concerned to return to the weighty matter of those pesky cats and that conservatory.... musky tones, and grape rolling saved a famished smith family, and pichoko was forced onto the back foot! being a child of the cubist era, he did like a slouch now and then, but due to unforseen spring weakening, the sofas had become uncomfortable, and standing whilst watching the tv was now en vogue. so, in the end, it was all just a raging effulent geyser, fuelling the growth of lychen in the lower part of the hill which undermined the vegetable farmers, and hence wheelchairs were stockpiled and created the new continent of eropos. now i realise that all this seems unconnected, but viewed from the vantage point of being hungarian, i think that we all see that a final showdown with the gravy boat designers is unavoidable. pichoko, being a canny statesmen realised this from the very beginning, and had mortgaged his bmx with the gold trick bars, and deposited the sizeable proceeds in an environmentally concious equity plan managed by jon the african. jon with his voluminous knowledge of bamboo growing, had contacted the head of the indian eugenics program violations committee on tuesday the 3rd, which is incongruent with all the teachings of betty boothroyd, as such meetings were decreed to take place on wednesdays.
  5. thanks dude, you said 'we have seen many of our canopies....' can i ask who 'we' are? thanks
  6. hi people, is is safe to use pd soft links with HMA lines. i know that HMA lines are often not cascaded due to excess wear - so was wondering if the line used in pd soft links would produce to much wear?
  7. oh yeh man, i saw that, but we brits call it surgeon's rap, so i thought it was only only for use in medical or veterinary circles. thanks for the advice, i'll try it and let you know. presumably it won't come off in the water no (because i'm always in it )
  8. hey dude, what is vet rap? i presume it will help with my grip problem?
  9. i have recently carried out the following mod on my rear risers.... i have found that sliding the plastic d link protectors on my rear risers half way down my mini risers is helping me to grip them. i have found that when i stab the rear risers at the start of my swoop, sometimes my hands slip and i have to go straight on to toggles. i have spoken to a uspa rigger and he suggested putting some dive loops onto the front side of my rear risers, but i am worried that the excess brake line will get caught in them on opening. has anyone else got a rear riser dive loop mod, or heard of any other modifications that can solve this problem?
  10. nice picks geezer, we should do it again.
  11. I got HCMF 'Hard Core Muth@ Fukk@' oh, and i got a biscuit too.
  12. saw sport parachute stall in university union building - was with 4 other friends who were all quite drunk (as was i), thought it would be funny as we had just got our student loans through, signed up. did a static line. kind of forgot about it. then got a cheque for £900 - deposit refund on an expensive flat. didn't know what to do with it until a friend pointed out that it was an AFF course in empuriabrava. had booked it within the next day. i went out there with another friend (who was one of the guys i did the static line with). we planned just to do AFF, then go around spain trying to shag as many women as possible, but after our first jumps we decided to stay right there and max out our credit cards. left there 2 weeks later with 40 jumps, an AFF course, 10 consolidation jumps, Sky U course and FS1. got back decided everything else was far too boring, moved next to the dropzone. now i have 150 jumps, i have just quit my job (friday), am learning to pack tandems and am gonna become a dz bum and head off around the world. fuck it.
  13. 150/1 reserve ride on first pack job - no practice pack jobs before that one, didn't have anyone watching me pack either. oops.
  14. i find that when there is someone near you that you don't want to speak to, or there is some one coming towards you and there is about to be one of those - do i 1)stop and speak to them and chat inane bullshit for a minute, endure a painful silence whilst you think of what to say, then say see ya later or 2)just flash an eyebrow and keep walking - i like to get out my mobile phone and pretend that someone has rung me and begin a fake conversation so that they don't interrupt you - then the eyebrow flash will do - situation avoided. the wonders of technology!