nigel99

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Everything posted by nigel99

  1. nigel99

    Sex in church

    Why he invented it? Experienced jumper - someone who has made mistakes more often than I have and lived.
  2. nigel99

    some funnies

    PROOF THAT THE WORLD IS NUTS ! ! In Lebanon, men are legally allowed to have sex with animals, but the animals must be female. Having sexual relations with a male animal is punishable by death. (Like THAT makes sense.) *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* In Bahrain, a male doctor may legally examine a woman's genitals, but is prohibited from looking directly at them during the examination. He may only see their reflection in a mirror. (Do they look different reversed?) *~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Muslims are banned from looking at the genitals of a corpse. This also applies to undertakers; the sex organs of the deceased must be covered with a brick or piece of wood at all times. (A brick??) *~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* The penalty for masturbation in Indonesia is decapitation. (Much worse than "going blind!") *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* There are men in Guam whose full-time job is to travel the countryside and deflower young virgins, who pay them for the privilege of having sex for the first time... Reason: under Guam law, it is expressly forbidden for virgins to marry. (Let's just think for a minute; is there any job anywhere else in the world that even comes close to this?) *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* In Hong Kong, a betrayed wife is legally allowed to kill her adulterous husband, but may only do so with her bare hands. The husband's lover, on the other hand, may be killed in any manner desired. (Ah! Justice!) *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Topless saleswomen are legal in Liverpool, England - but only in Tropical fish stores. (But of course!) *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* In Cali, Colombia, a woman may only have sex with her husband, and the first time this happens, her mother must be in the room to witness the act. (Makes one shudder at the thought.) *~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~* In Santa Cruz, Bolivia, it is illegal for a man to have sex with a woman and her daughter at the same time. (I presume this was a big enough problem that they had to pass this law?) *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* In Maryland, it is illegal to sell condoms from vending machines with one exception: prophylactics may be dispensed from a vending machine only "in places where alcoholic beverages are sold for consumption on the premises." (Is this a great country or what? Not as great as Guam!) *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour. (Who volunteers for this stuff?) *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure. (Is that why Flipper was always smiling?) *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue. (Hummm....I won't touch THAT one!) *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* The ant can lift 50 times its own weight, can pull 30 times its own weight and always falls over on its right side when intoxicated. (From drinking little bottles of...? -- did the govt. pay for this research??) *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Butterflies taste with their feet. (Ah, geez) *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* An ostrich's eye is bigger than it's brain. (I know some people like that.) *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Starfish don't have brains. (I know some people like that too) *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* And, the best for last..... Turtles can breathe through their butts. (Do you think they have bad breath?) Experienced jumper - someone who has made mistakes more often than I have and lived.
  3. nigel99

    I am a slave!

    The more to it is that there is a chance 50% currently that we will have funding soon (i.e the VC are in discussions etc etc). Other than that I guess its just that engineers are like lemmings - no brains just follow the daily routine Get up - go to work - go home - repeat. We all bitch about it and only one guy has walked so far in a month (the poor sod was taken on 6wks ago ) Experienced jumper - someone who has made mistakes more often than I have and lived.
  4. Hi really struggled on s/l as due to finances (I was 16) I could only jump once a month which meant that I did god knows how many static lines. However I really enjoyed jumping and regardless of the stigma attached to not "skydiving" but just falling out the door, I had fun, I started learning to spot - and generally getting fun for ME from the jumping. When I eventually got to freefall I still couldn't progress still money issues and then a friend suggested I leapt from 8K for my 5/10 sec delays rather than the 4/5K (on a round under canopy by 5/6K!!!) It really helped as it de-stressed the dives for me as with no cypress AAD's I found the stress really high knowing that I had x seconds and the extra 3/4K gave me more time (in my head at least) Experienced jumper - someone who has made mistakes more often than I have and lived.
  5. nigel99

    I am a slave!

    I think that is the decision - been onto law sites here and old CEO dickhead is borderline commiting fraud. And I have confirmed that my rights rule and his idea of work your notice is all fucked up. Again I really don't like being blackmailed but the live by the sword die by it rule tends to be true so I like to be "nice" - just nice to blow steam hear so I don't do something to stupid (after all this job does pay circa 30% above norm - when the pay ) Experienced jumper - someone who has made mistakes more often than I have and lived.
  6. just got this Experienced jumper - someone who has made mistakes more often than I have and lived.
  7. nigel99

    I am a slave!

    that costs £ - thats a problem Experienced jumper - someone who has made mistakes more often than I have and lived.
  8. nigel99

    I am a slave!

    Well thank god for dz.com cause I am going fucking loopy here at work. Few weeks ago I posted that my company was going bust, well we haven't been paid for August and every few days the "deadline" slides further to the right for shutting the doors. Anyways so yesterday evening I decided enuff and spoke to the CEO and said I wanted out as we have now been told not to expect payment for September either. Well the little fucking creeps answer was fine hand in your resignation and because you are key staff we require you to work your fucking notice!! So does working(well sitting @dz.com for 8hrs actually) against your will for free constitute anything but slavery?? I don't like leaving company's with bad vibes but Jeez this takes the cake. Experienced jumper - someone who has made mistakes more often than I have and lived.
  9. Yes Tony Blair in his argument has a few times mentioned that Brit and US planes are almost daily fired upon by Iraq and that they return fire etc. I also worked with an Iraqi(he's been here for 20yrs) and it is amazing just how much death the US and UK rain down on Iraq - I believe that the figure of child deaths from "gulf war syndrome" type effects is in the order of 5000 per year (he showed me a BBC article to that effect). Personally I don't have a problem with the US going to war if they want to but it does piss me off the way the UK is using 9/11 to promote new laws/wars etc when in reality it had F all to do with them. Experienced jumper - someone who has made mistakes more often than I have and lived.
  10. A student on a T-10 landed right on top of a barbed wire fence - standup landing. He was fine till he tried to step off - he wasn't hurt but got a big fright as it flipped him on his back - he's just lucky it didn't choose to come up between his legs! It was really funny to watch though. Experienced jumper - someone who has made mistakes more often than I have and lived.
  11. you're kidding right? Experienced jumper - someone who has made mistakes more often than I have and lived.
  12. In my experience over the years ppl either seem to loose their whuffo partners or drop out of the sport. Unfortunately I am one of the later bunch of losers :-( The real sad thing is 7yrs later I am still not sure it was "really" worth it. Experienced jumper - someone who has made mistakes more often than I have and lived.
  13. nice to know not everyone watches TV - we don't have a TV licence and ppl don't believe us. Anyway last night at a party guys were talking about Britney Spears and my wife had NEVER heard of her. Really funny. Talk about living in a vacuum Experienced jumper - someone who has made mistakes more often than I have and lived.
  14. Well a summary of my thoughts. I think it would be nice if tunnel flying became quite big, I enjoy flying my body but can't because of family commitments. I am not sure it has that much spectator apeal - although you do lose the sights of people hooking in etc. 2nd it is much cheaper than jumping and a nice idea to learn stability in a less intense environment than freefall. Last point I believe that it is naive to believe that tunnel-time = skydiving skill. A tunnel is safe - skydiving is not. I doubt that the tunnel raises the level of adrenalin/freaked out feeling that comes in skydiving and a cocky attitude by a virtual whuffo could kill them. If a paraglider pilot capable of CRW/swooping? or a snowboarder of skysurfing? Thats all - BTW I intend spending time at the tunnel in Zurich when we can get babysitters for twins - unless there is one in the UK? Experienced jumper - someone who has made mistakes more often than I have and lived.
  15. A few years back some guys from our club tried hang-gliding, all broke bones within the first few attempts.(I seem to remember the collar bone was the favourite) I doubt its typical but it sure gave hang-gliding a bad name at our DZ Experienced jumper - someone who has made mistakes more often than I have and lived.
  16. I just checked properties on the vid and it says the codec is "Windows Media 7" Experienced jumper - someone who has made mistakes more often than I have and lived.
  17. A computer with a screen? Sorry couldn't help it - I'm bored My played in Windows media player Experienced jumper - someone who has made mistakes more often than I have and lived.
  18. Don't know I'm a Zimbabwean - now theres a job market that SUCKS!!! When I got here 4 yrs ago you could name your price if you did RF Design (cellphone & satelite markets) but since the collapse of telcoms :-( Experienced jumper - someone who has made mistakes more often than I have and lived.
  19. For most guys here its going to be friggen tough - we're engineers and in the current UK job climate it ain't going to be easy Experienced jumper - someone who has made mistakes more often than I have and lived.
  20. Well I am fairly pissed off. 2 yrs in this company having stopped contracting when I started working here. We are now informed that odds of anybody being paid this month are fucking slim. It happens to shit loads of ppl and we have been kinda expecting it. Major issue is I found out through a friend(colleague) who has VC contacts and the CEO has asked him to pull all stops to raise cash. Hence I know the situation through this guy and still not a fucking word from the company. Not to harsh for me personally as my friend with VC contacts is busy raising cash for 3 of us anyway and that is well advanced but it sucks for the other guys here big time. Experienced jumper - someone who has made mistakes more often than I have and lived.
  21. nigel99

    Zimbabwe

    Its a big plot by the west to use Southern Africa as a GM testing ground Have you heard that Zim & Zambia said that the US could stick its grain where the sun don't shine? Why cause its GM - go figger I reckon not eating anything will kill you quicker Next issue - here in the UK the emphasis is on the "white" farmers and how they own 70% of the fertile land - no comment that they employ(ed - past tense now I guess) at least 50% of the working people - who are now by and large homeless.They also hold certificates of non-interest issued by Zim government for their farms - these certificates were issued post-independance as all farms sold had to be offered to the government first. Well I am an ex zimbo (never farmed though) and am seriously pissed at the wests handling of Zim. The UK government friggen put Mugabe in power in the first place. Experienced jumper - someone who has made mistakes more often than I have and lived.
  22. nigel99

    Dreams

    I used to dream that for some reason I had nothing open and that I fell till about 300ft at which point I would "bounce" off successive friends canopies much like a trampoline/bouncy castle effect till a "safe" fall distance. Their canopies felt like bouncy castles on impact no pain etc. Maybe it was hopefull as a back plan for a double mal? Experienced jumper - someone who has made mistakes more often than I have and lived.
  23. nigel99

    Lefties. UNITE

    I took it for granted that as a leftie you used your right hand for loads of things - driving, mouse etc,(skydiving??) etc. It would be quite fun to see a left handed skydiving rig - BOC opposite way round, cutaway and reserve swapped! Experienced jumper - someone who has made mistakes more often than I have and lived.
  24. nigel99

    Lefties. UNITE

    My wife and I are both lefties. We've got left hand scissors and stuff real nice and comfie. I get a real kick out of the fact that our kids are right handed and have to use our left hand scissors and stuff Experienced jumper - someone who has made mistakes more often than I have and lived.
  25. the UK has a restriction on motorcycle licencing based on the horse power etc I believe I started this post as I saw someone hook in on a small elliptical and has since died of injuries received. As a direct result of this accident I know of 2 people who were intent on starting jumping who now have changed their minds. I personally was going to be starting again and my wife has put the brakes on (she is 1 of the 2). Swooping is possibly one of skydiving's best "spectator" friendly events, but not will not do very well while 50% of skydiving deaths are a result of it - and that % is growing. Experienced jumper - someone who has made mistakes more often than I have and lived.