fog52

>The other day I came home and was greeted by my wife, dressed only in very sexy underwear and holding a couple of short velvet ropes. > >"Tie me up," she purred, "and you can do anything you want." > >So, I tied her up and went deer hunting. Magna res est vocis et silentii temperamentum

This is really old & dumb but I could't resist. Have a nice weeked!! An Italian, a Scotsman, and a Chinese fellow are > > hired at a construction site. > > > > The foreman points out a huge pile of sand and > > says to the Italian guy, "You're in charge of > > sweeping." > > To the Scotsman, he says, "You're in > > charge of shovelling." > > And to the Chinese guy, "You're in charge > > of supplies." > > > > He then says, "Now, I have to leave for a > > little while. I expect you guys to make a big dent in that > > pile." > > > > So the foreman goes away for a couple of hours and > > when he returns, the pile of sand is still untouched. > > > > He asks the Italian, "Why didn't you > > sweep any of it?" > > > > The Italian replies, "I no hava no broom. You > > saida to the Chinese fella that he awasa in acharge of > > supplies, but he hasa disappeared and I nocoulda finda him > > nowhere." > > > > Then the foreman turns to the Scotsman and says, > > "And you, I thought I told you to shovel this > > pile." > > > > The Scotsman replies, "Aye, ye did lad, boot > > ah couldnay get meself a shoovel. Ye left th' Chinese > > feller in charge of supplies, boot > > ahcouldnay fin' him either." > > > > The foreman is really angry now and storms off > > toward the pile of sand to look for the Chinese guy. Just > > then, the Chinese guy leaps out from > > behind the pile of sand and yells: > > "SUPPLIES Magna res est vocis et silentii temperamentum

A man walks into his bedroom and sees his wife packing a suitcase. He says, "What are you doing?" She answers, "I'm moving to Las Vegas. I heard prostitutes there get paid $400 for doing what I do for you for free." Later that night on her way out the wife walks into the bedroom and sees her husband packing his suitcase. When she asks him where he's going, he replies, "I'm going to Vegas too.I want to see you live on $800 a year." Magna res est vocis et silentii temperamentum

This guy spots a nice looking girl in a bar and approaches her to start some small talk. Seeing that she didn't back off, he asked her name. "Carmen," she replied. "That's a nice name," he said warming up the conversation, "Who named you, your mother?" "No, I named myself." she answered. "Oh, that's interesting", he said. "Why Carmen?" "Because I like cars, and I like men." she said gazing directly into his eyes. Then she asked "What's your name?" Returning her gaze, he replied, "Beerfuck." Magna res est vocis et silentii temperamentum

The following is supposedly an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well. Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)? Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following: First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different Religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added. This gives two possibilities: 1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose. 2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over. So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Theresa during my Freshman year that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you, and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct...leaving only Heaven thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Theresa kept shouting "Oh my God." THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A Magna res est vocis et silentii temperamentum

In a crowded city at a busy bus stop, a beautiful young woman wearing a > tight leather skirt was waiting for a bus. > > As the bus stopped and it was her turn to get on, she became aware that > her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of the > first step of the bus. > > Slightly embarrassed and with a quick smile to the bus driver, she > reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little, thinking that this would > give her enough slack to raise her leg. > > She tried to take the step, only to discover that she couldn't. > So, a little more embarrassed, she once again reached behind her to unzip > her skirt a little more, and for the second time attempted the step. Once > again, much to her chagrin, she could not raise her leg. > > With a little smile to the driver, she again reached behind to unzip a > little more and again was unable to take the step. > > About this time, a large Texan who was standing behind her picked her up > easily by the waist and placed her gently on the step of the bus. She went > ballistic and turned to the would-be Samaritan and screeched, 'How dare you > touch my body ! I don! 't even know you!' > > The Texan smiled and drawled, 'Well, ma'am, normally I would agree with > you, but after you unzipped my fly three times, I kinda figured we was > friends.' Magna res est vocis et silentii temperamentum

10 Reasons Why Halloween Is Better Than Sex: 10. You're guaranteed to get a little something in the sack. 9. The uglier you are, the easier it is to get some. 8. It doesn't matter if the kids hear you moaning and groaning. 7. Less guilt the morning after. 6. It doesn't matter if they fantasize you're somebody else, because you are. 5. Forty years from now, you'll still enjoy candy. 4. If you don't get what you want, you can always go next door. 3. If you get tired, you can wait 10 minutes and go again. 2. You don't have to compliment the person who gives you some. 1. You can do the whole neighborhood! Magna res est vocis et silentii temperamentum

A DAMN FINE EXPLANATION The wife came home early and found her husband in their bedroom making love to a very attractive young woman. And was somewhat upset. "You are a disrespectful pig!" she cried. "How dare you do this to me – a faithful wife, the mother of your children! I'm leaving you. I want a divorce straight away!" And the husband replied "Hang on just a minute love, so at least I can tell you what happened." "Fine, go ahead," she sobbed, "but they'll be the last words you'll say to me!" And the husband began -- "Well, I was getting into the car to drive home and this young lady here asked me for a lift. She looked so down and out and defenseless that I took pity on her and let her into the car. I noticed that she was very thin, not well dressed and very dirty. She told me that she hadn't eaten for three days! So, in my compassion, I brought her home and warmed up the enchiladas I made for you last night, the ones you wouldn't eat because you're afraid you'll put on weight. The poor thing devoured them in moments. Since she needed a good clean up I suggested a shower, and while she was doing that I noticed her clothes were dirty and full of holes so I threw them away. Then, as she needed clothes, I gave her the designer jeans that you have had for a few years, but don't use because you say they are too tight. I also gave her the underwear that was your anniversary present, which you don't use because I don't have good taste. I found the sexy blouse my sister gave you for Christmas that you don't use just to annoy her, and I also donated those boots you bought at the expensive boutique and don't use because someone at work has a pair the same." The husband took a quick breath and continued - "She was so grateful for my understanding and help and as I walked her to the door she turned to me with tears in her eyes and said, " Please ... do you have anything else that your wife doesn't use?" Magna res est vocis et silentii temperamentum

10 Reasons Why Guns Are Better Than Women: 10 You Can Trade an Old 44 for a New 22 9 You Can Keep One Handgun at Home and Have Another For The Road 8 If You Admire a Friend's Handgun, He'll Probably Let You Try It Out 7 Your Primary Handgun Doesn't Mind if You Keep Another One For a Backup 6 Your Handgun Will Stay With You Even if You Run Out of Ammo 5 A Handgun Doesn't Take Up a Lot of Closet Space 4 Handguns Function Normally Every Day of the Month 3 A Handgun Doesn't Ask, "Do These New Grips Make Me Look Fat?" 2 A Handgun Doesn't Mind if You Go To Sleep After You Use It 1 You Can Buy a Silencer For a Handgun Magna res est vocis et silentii temperamentum

A man staggers into an emergency room with a concussion, multiple bruises, two black eyes and a five iron wrapped tightly around his throat. Naturally, the doctor asks him what happened. "Well, it was like this," said the man. "I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife, when at a difficult hole, we both sliced our balls into a pasture of cows. We went to look for them, and while I was rooting around noticed one of the cows had something white at its rear end. I walked over and lifted up the tail, and sure enough, there was a golf ball with my wife's monogram on it-- stuck right in the middle of the cow's butt. That's when I made my big mistake." " What did you do?" asks the doctor. "Well, I lifted the cow's tail and yelled to my wife, "'Hey, this looks like yours!" I don't remember much after that." Magna res est vocis et silentii temperamentum

George Carlin's Theory on Life The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get at the end of it? A Death. What's that, a bonus? I think the life cycle is all backwards. You should die first, get it out of the way. Then you live in an old age home. You get kicked out because you're too young, you get a gold watch and you go to work. You work forty years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement. You do drugs, alcohol, you party, you get ready for high school. You go to grade school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities. You become a little baby, you go back into the womb, Spend your last nine months floating and you finish off as an orgasm. Magna res est vocis et silentii temperamentum

Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he sufered from bad breath. This made him, (yea.... this is so bad it's funny.....) "A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis." Magna res est vocis et silentii temperamentum

Is sloppy because he thinks he's the fastest packer in the world, won't listen to your requests for tempermental canopy. He's 17, started when he was 14 and has an ego the size of Texas. last opening he packed for me a riser cut my nose open on a camera jump. I don't know why I didn't lose a lens or my neck. He didn't understand what the problem was. Magna res est vocis et silentii temperamentum

This morning I was beaten up in an elevator by a busty woman. I was staring at her boobs whe she said "would you please press one?" So I did.... I don't remember much after that...... Magna res est vocis et silentii temperamentum

A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with four young mothers and their small children. "You all have obsessions," he observed. To the first mother, Mary, he said, "You are obsessed with eating. You've even named your daughter Candy." He turned to the second Mom, Ann: "Your obsession is with money. Again, it manifests itself in your child's name, Penny." He turned to the third Mom, Joyce: "Your obsession is alcohol. This too shows itself in your child's name, Brandy." At this point, the fourth mother, Betty, quietly got up, took her little boy by the hand, and whispered, "Come on, Dick, this guy has no idea what he's talking about. Let's pick up Peter and Willy from school and go get dinner." Magna res est vocis et silentii temperamentum

I would help you but seeinz how Greg is my cousin and I do kinda like him, I think I will pass. Magna res est vocis et silentii temperamentum

Need you ask? I am pro-life. My preference is abortions only in unique circumstances. Then have appropriate memorial services for the deceased child in accordance with the immediate family's wishes. That's cool ... but so long as you understand that other people do not consider that a child is involved and they could be equally happy with the current process... i.e it is following the lady in questions wishes... and that the rest of the family/world has no say. It's her body and thus her say [full stop] To add..... let's worry about the almost countless kids that are born and treated badly around the world before we 'waste' time worrying about the ones that will not be born.... That alone is a massive task and one that is still well beyond our ability to solve it. LIKE Magna res est vocis et silentii temperamentum

I got bored reading through the thread when I realized that Korbin is trolling for something. IMO he is or is trolling for an attorney. There's alot of really good responses here, but I feel like all the resQuoteponders that are trying to truthfully add to the conversation are being hoodwinked Magna res est vocis et silentii temperamentum

At least he wasn't sacrificing small animals for his "adventures". Magna res est vocis et silentii temperamentum

That made my day!! Magna res est vocis et silentii temperamentum

N5UB http://www.skyd5r.com/SKYD5R.COM/Photo_Albums/Pages/My_First_Pics.html#30 Magna res est vocis et silentii temperamentum

Thanks guys, I'm on it! Magna res est vocis et silentii temperamentum

Does anyone know of any good manifest software for Mac? We are not a large DZ so we don't need a huge program, but something we could build on would be nice. We are all hooked on Macs and are using them solely on the DZ. Thanks for any input you can give us. Magna res est vocis et silentii temperamentum

I sarted when I was 38. That was 20 years ago and I still can't get enough jumps! Magna res est vocis et silentii temperamentum