prepheckt

So did you get any?

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You're a bag of cunts.

Thanks. Kinda like getting hit with a bag of dicks, huh??

Damn you, that's almost as bad as AggieDave's Click Me link.

My friend isn't sure if this is his way of hitting on her or if this is just a casual business thing, but would treat it like a casual business thing.

Wow, not one vote to screw the guys brains out? What happened to the Bonfire? Where did this sense of morality come from. I don't like it.

That being said, I showed my friend the thread, and she said to say:
"Tell them that I would treat this situation like I was drinking with a friend and nothing more."

IMO, I think it is possible to do this without being compromised, and I actually suggested the "bring a friend defense." More updates to follow.

I have a friend who asked me for advice with regard to a situation she's trying to figure out how to handle.

She has a client that she works with who's married and has asked her out for a beer after work tomorrow. In addition he's 10+ years older than she is. (She's in her early 20's).

He's a client that is traveling to her office for a business orientation. They mainly interact over the phone or e-mail, but have rarely see each other face to face.

I said the offer most likely is an attempt to hit on her. She agrees with me, but does not know how she wants to handle the situation because she's attracted to him.

I'm throwing this out there for you DZ commers to comment and offer your advice.

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I gotta agree with you.

Also, too much of that stuff just gets you stuffed into the "Friends" category. You know where that goes. Nowhere.

This may sound crazy, but I like being in the "Friend Zone". It makes life far less complicated.

A small refrigerator for food and beer.

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There was a "reality" show where everyone stays in a 5-star resort in the Bahamas. All the women are bikini-clad, or less, models who tried to get the guys to cheat on their g/f.
(Yes, that was a real show)

Temptation Island. That show was like a car accident you saw on the highway. You could see the wreck coming but couldn't look away. It was the precursor to the current format to Real World.

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Totchos

Tater Tots covered in ground beef, jalapeño peppers, cheese, salsa and sour cream.

I just wet my self with excitement!
I love Tater Tots!

I see your Totchos, and I'll raise you Monkeyfries made personally by SkyMonkeyOne...I had them in 2003, I still remember the taste of them. I'd describe the ingredients,(but they're classified) and Chuck might hunt me down and kill me in a most objectionable manner.

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i was on a job once where a guy insisted that it was a math anomily and that mathematics was full of them. because of this he discounted all of science. i spent a couple of hours trying to explain this to him. i even made 30 fake dollar bills and got some co workers to play the part of the customers, bellboy, and clerk. when it was all done he could physically see where all of the dollars were. he still wasn't wouldn't believe me.

I hope he wasn't allowed to breed. This is almost as bad as the Verizon customer service "math" fiasco.

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Maybe invite him to the DZ just to hang out a bit.. As long as he understands that you're also going to be jumping.. Maybe he could bring you a sammich and beer!!!

Fixed that for you. Wuffos make great gofers.

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"Stress card!! Stress card!!"

...

Wow, I always thought they were urban legends, like leprechans or skydivers who are virgins.

I would recommend this. Delicious and bite size.

Sautéed Maine diver scallops with braised veal cheeks, Tahitian vanilla, parsnip cream.

Paired with this: Nebbiolo, Barbaresco, Produttori del Barbaresco, Piedmont, Italy, 2005

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I was on Ambien for a while. And once took 2.

It could be possible, because I think I did some weird shit that night. Not sure exactly what, I just have these kinda...flashbacks... about that night.[/reply

Come on, you have to elaborate now, spare no dirty details.

"Dancing Argentine Tango is like doing calculus with your feet."
-9 toes

My car is at 128K miles, and it's still running great, I do change the oil on a semi-consistent basis, and it needs a tune up, but no major work needed as of yet. The only problem seems to be that the car batteries end up getting fried in the AZ summer, you literally can cook an egg on the sidewalk, so not totally surprising.

It's cold, and there are wolves out there!

Article here


I cheated on my wife while sleepwalking. What do I do now?

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Dear Prudence:
I did something recently that concerns me on many levels. I am under a large amount of stress because I'm in an unhappy marriage (which we're trying to work out) and because my company laid me off. I am under treatment for depression. A week ago, my doctor doubled the dosage of my antidepressant and, because I'm not sleeping well, he prescribed Ambien. On Saturday morning, I confused the vials and took two Ambien. I told my wife what happened and that I would probably sleep all day and went to bed. At around 10 p.m., my wife commented on how productive I had been: mowing the lawn, cleaning up, grocery shopping. I remembered none of this and said so. She said her only concern was that I left for "errands" and returned two hours later with nothing in hand. I talked to my doctor Monday, and he told me Ambien can cause amnesia and that some people have reported walking, driving, and cooking in their sleep. I know now what filled the missing two hours. This afternoon, I got a call from a woman who called me "lover" and asked when I wanted to come back. She called me her f--k buddy. This is a woman I had talked to only twice before in social situations. I do not even know where she lives; maybe I phoned her for directions. I do find her attractive, but I am stunned that I did something like this. My wife is vindictive, and if I say anything to her, it will end our marriage. I do not want to continue a relationship with the other woman. What should I do?

—Scared Sleepless

Dear Scared,
It's hard to believe that the pharmaceutical industry has already solved two of our most vexing problems: How to get men to do weekend chores, and how to induce attractive strangers to have sex with you while being able to swear that you haven't cheated. If this gets around, soon we'll be living in a world where people are gobbling Ambien out of Pez containers. Driving, eating, even trying to cast congressional votes while under the influence of Ambien are all well-documented. Scroll around the Internet and you will also find individual accounts of Ambien-fueled sex—which the nondrugged participants claim is more creative and uninhibited than when their partner is awake. However good you may have been in bed, you need to keep the other woman from contacting you and asking for further services. Call her and try to explain. Tell her that, as hard as it is to believe, you have recently been prescribed several medications, you accidentally mixed them up, and as a result you have no memory of the events of the weekend. Say you're very sorry if you behaved irresponsibly but that you can't be in touch with her. Don't ask for details—you want to preserve your amnesiac deniability. And since you don't know what you did, you're hardly in a position to confess anything to your wife. From now on, when you have trouble drifting off, forget the Ambien and brew yourself a nice cup of chamomile tea.

—Prudie


Focus: Discuss. I call bullshit. Is this even possible? Anyone ever done anything like this (and willing to admit it?)

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ere the world to be so unlucky as to have me reproduce

Indeed good sir, should that terrible fate befall us, God help us all.

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Life's not fair. Everyone is created equal, but from that moment on, it's survival of the fittest. Your precious little snowflake isn't going to get anything handed to them, and in the real world, we keep score.

Take the sand out of your vaginas, do the world a favor, and toughen your kids up. It's not getting any easier out there any time soon.

There may yet be hope for you.

Me too. I swear, I'm going to walk up to the next thread I see and slit its throat.

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I have a superior intellect and perceive things in ways you can not hope to.

Jesus, we all know you're smarter then everyone here, but do you have to rub it in everyone's face? Fuck, everytime you post, I develop an inferiority complex.

I'd like to take VSG to dinner and dancing if that counts.

THE COACH’S ORIGINAL E-MAIL

OK, here’s the real deal: Team 7 will be called Green Death. We will only acknowledge “Team 7” for scheduling and disciplinary purposes. Green Death has had a long and colorful history, and I fully expect every player and parent to be on board with the team. This is not a team, but a family (some say cult), that you belong to forever. We play fair at all times, but we play tough and physical soccer. We have some returning players who know the deal; for the others, I only expect 110% at every game and practice. We do not cater to superstars, but prefer the gritty determination of journeymen who bring their lunch pail to work every week, chase every ball and dig in corners like a Michael Vick pit bull. Unless there is an issue concerning the health of my players or inside info on the opposition, you probably don’t need to talk to me. Coach MacDonald has been designated “good guy” this year.

Some say soccer at this age is about fun and I completely agree. However, I believe winning is fun and losing is for losers. Ergo, we will strive for the “W” in each game. While we may not win every game (excuse me, I just got a little nauseated) I expect us to fight for every loose ball and play every shift as if it were the finals of the World Cup. While I spent a good Saturday morning listening to the legal liability BS, which included a 30 minute dissertation on how we need to baby the kids and especially the refs, I was disgusted. The kids will run, they will fall, get bumps, bruises and even bleed a little. Big deal, it’s good for them (but I do hope the other team is the one bleeding). If the refs can’t handle a little criticism, then they should turn in their whistle. The sooner they figure out how to make a decision and live with the consequences the better. My heckling of the refs is actually helping them develop as people. The political correctness police are not welcome on my sidelines. America’s youth is becoming fat, lazy and non-competitive because competition is viewed as “bad”. I argue that competition is good and is important to the evolution of our species and our survival in what has become an increasingly competitive global economy and dangerous world. Second place trophies are nothing to be proud of as they serve only as a reminder that you missed your goal; their only useful purpose is as an inspiration to do that next set of reps. Do you go to a job interview and not care about winning? Don’t animals eat what they kill (and yes, someone actually kills the meat we eat too – it isn’t grown in plastic wrap)? And speaking of meat, I expect that the ladies be put on a diet of fish, undercooked red meat and lots of veggies. No junk food. Protein shakes are encouraged, and while blood doping and HGH use is frowned upon, there is no testing policy. And at the risk of stating the obvious, blue slushies are for winners.

These are my views and not necessarily the views of the league (but they should be). I recognize that my school of thought may be an ideological shift from conventional norms. But it is imperative that we all fight the good fight, get involved now and resist the urge to become sweat-xedo-wearing yuppies who sit on the sidelines in their LL Bean chairs sipping mocha-latte-half-caf-chinos while discussing reality TV and home decorating with other feeble-minded folks. I want to hear cheering, I want to hear encouragement, I want to get the team pumped up at each and every game and know they are playing for something.

Lastly, we are all cognizant of the soft bigotry that expects women and especially little girls, to be dainty and submissive; I wholeheartedly reject such drivel. My overarching goal is develop ladies who are confident and fearless, who will stand up for their beliefs and challenge the status quo. Girls who will kick ass and take names on the field, off the field and throughout their lives. I want these girls to be winners in the game of life. Who’s with me?

Go Green Death!

--

KINAHAN’S RESIGNATION

Team, After careful consideration, I have decided to resign from all coaching responsibilities related to Team 7 this season. Unfortunately, it has come to my attention that some parents and the Board of Scituate Soccer failed to see the humor in my pre-season email. For the avoidance of doubt, the email was largely (albeit not completely) meant in jest and with the goal of giving the parents a chuckle while enduring yet another round of organized youth sports. It was also meant as a satire of those who take youth sports too seriously for the wrong reasons. My overarching goal is the well-being of my players, and I do not want any player to feel uncomfortable, nor do I want to see the team disbanded because of a lack of active players. Therefore, while I’d prefer to go down swinging, it’s really about the kids and it just makes more sense for me to take the year off.

While I respectfully disagree with the Board's interpretation of my comments, I believe that they should be commended for their immediate actions to address the concerns of the offended parties. The Board’s action proves that the chain of command is functioning as designed. Board members volunteer their valuable time and I do not plan to add to their already significant workload. I also respect those parents who were offended as I am sure they acted in the best interest of their children. While I may question their sense of humor, I have no right to question their judgment regarding their children. Perhaps we may even have beer (I’ll buy) and a couple of laughs at the end of all of this.

And while I am sorry some people failed to see the humor, I do not apologize for my actions; I wrote it, I think it's funny and I do have a distaste for the tediousness of overbearing political correctness. Furthermore, I was serious about parental involvement as I do believe parents should cheer and encourage players (in a positive fashion obviously) so that the kids feel the excitement that comes from team competition. And most importantly, I was completely serious that I want to see each young girl develop a positive self image, self-confidence and the will to succeed in any endeavor that she desires. Lastly, I have added some comments to my initial email (in capitals) to clarify several points that may have been viewed as offensive.

Sincerely,

Michael A. Kinahan

Go Green Death!

I never was in sports as a kid, cause I sucked something awful. However, I did learn to get better and wasn't picked last at recess. If I had been in Little League, I wish I'd had a coach like this. I think this guy is hilarious.

Article [url"http://www.patriotledger.com/sports/x575725578/-Green-Death-coach-resigns" here][/url]

Focus: As a parent would you be offended by this? If so, why?

Secondary Focus: Anyone have a coach like this as a kid or in high school?

WINTER HAVEN, FL -- Two men in a home-built airplane survived a brush with death Sunday when they landed their plane on Havendale Boulevard.

22-year-old pilot Kyle Davis and passenger Joe Surowiec were flying the plane for a friend to the Lakeland Sun n' Fun Fly-In from Winter Haven when the engine failed.

The event was captured by two cameras, one in the cockpit and the other facing the engine.

When the engine failed, Davis quickly begins looking for a place to land. The two men look at a number of fields, but determine that they are unable to land in those locations.

Instead, the men decide to land in the road, where cars and businesses can be seen passing by.

Deputies were called to the scene, but had little to do since no there was no damage or injuries involved.

Both Davis and Surowiec declined on-scene medical attention.

See video here

Focus: Discuss the awesomeness of the video. I particularly like the use of Danger Zone and Yakety Sax. Pure comedic gold.

Secondary Focus: Let's hear some near close call stories in any vehicle (plane, car, or boat)

"Dancing Argentine Tango is like doing calculus with your feet."
-9 toes