Zing

I used to hate going to the dentist, despite having put several dentists' kids through college, and maybe one or two grandkids, too. But, I don't mind so much anymore. I just walk in, take my teeth out and hand them over and come back later when they're fixed. Zing Lurks

Would that be Outer Space, or do you mean the Inner Space where all the space cadets hang out? Zing Lurks

Creak ... groan ... results may vary for some. Zing Lurks

Well, I gues that when you're full of shit, it becomes more important to not be constipated. Kind like the way holding in farts too long leads to shitty thinking. Zing Lurks

Maybe it was one of you're secret admirerers who saw your new avatar and was so smitten by it, he printed out a copy and braved the cold to come ask for a signed copy. Zing Lurks

Yep, 2X4s will do the trick. Isn't it, like the law or something up there about hockey sticks per household or something, or do they just issue each kid one of each when they're born? Zing Lurks

A hockey stick makes a great club ... and a hockey puck in the end of a sock works, too. Zing Lurks

Whatever else USPA has been and has now become, it will never be qualified, nor authorized, to conduct inspections of aircraft and their logs, nor should it ever be. Hypothetically speaking, the USPA inspects some dropzone's (thus could be you DZO), gives them the big thumb's up and puts its sticker of approval on the plane. Now, imagine that airplane does a VMc demonstration on takeoff with a full load, as more than one already has, and there's dead bodies everywhere, but in the photos in the paper is the USPA seal of approval on a bent piece of bloody metal. USPA has just become a party to the resulting lawsuits, and will be held liable for its role in "approving" a jump plane that obviously shouldn't have been flying. If the airplane was as safe as the USPA said it was, it wouldn't have crashed. The first time there's a settlement against the USPA, its the end of the USPA. Edited cause I can't seem to spell for shit today. Zing Lurks

Freedle frazzle freedle frohm, time for this one to come home. Zing Lurks

The logbooks for an aircraft are worth their weight in gold. If you don't believe that, go find someone who has had to go through the process of recreating logs for an airplane because they were lost or destroyed. If its my airplane, the only ones who are going to be handling those logbooks are the mechanics who make entries after work is done, or the FAA or NTSB, who have the right to demand to see such paperwork. If the USPA sent a crew out demanding to inspect my jump operation and airplanes, I'd run the SOBs off at gunpoint. When WHO died a short time back, I predicted that the USPA would self-destruct within 5 years due to internal power struggles ... seems that prediction was an optimistic one. Zing Lurks

Yeah ... what he said! Zing Lurks

I think you mean the Willsey Brothers ... Tommy, Jerry and John Boy, aka The Whiskey Brothers. I think it was Tommy who had a toe transplanted to replace a thumb. I remember seeing photos of the operation around Ghoulidge after the Gulch was shut down. Somewhere, I've got a copy of the Enquirer photos of Cartwright going in. The last photo is a cloud of dust at impact, not far from the palm tree in the next to last shot. Zing Lurks

Both spiders in the pictures are Huntsman spiders. Mildly venemous, grow to 4 to 6 inch legspans and eat tons on pest insects like roaches and crikets. Zing Lurks

I just fart a lot. Zing Lurks

It was at least 2 years before that cover drawing came out that we tried a couple of rollerball dives at Ghoulidge. We tried building a flat formation and then attempted to fold it under on itself to form the round shape. Those two dives ended up in many thousands of feet of assholes and armpits funneling. We also tried rolling a formation out the door that grip-shifted into a round ball, but that failed too, and we went back to flat flying. I still think it could be done, especially nowadays when more people have experience flying vertically and inverted. If a group like Arizona Airspeed decided to do it, it would get done in a few tries. (Editted to add this part) After thinking about this a bit more, I recall a jumper named Matt Farmer, who organized a lot of dives at Ghoulidge back when I had just showed up there, tried to do the rollerball dive too. Seems his design had 12 to 15 jumpers in it. I was on one of the tries. It didn't work then either. We managed to build the basic flat formation, but when we tried to fold it around into a ball, it began to spin until the centripetal forces tore it apart. Zing Lurks

Jo, the hardware you have talked about is different than what these guys are talking about. They are referring to the ripcord for opening the containers and the spacing is the distance between the pins on the ripcord that go through cones on the rig flaps and/or pilot chute of the parachute. Zing Lurks

So, is your cholesteral count down? Zing Lurks

Mere seconds to Airtwardo when compared with the space/time continuum experience of mere mortals. Hell, I can hardly remember seven years ago ... must have been when I retired pool-side on that Bahamian island. Zing Lurks

The dog was a huge German Shepard who weighed about 130-plus pounds. We had to keep him on a chain when he was outside because he was so big and scared people, despite the fact that he was a big baby and never bit anyone. My mom used to joke that if a burglar ever broke into the house the only danger from the dog was that he'd play the burglar to death. The neighbors down the street had a little terrier who would torment our dog by grabbing his bones and then running just out side the reach of the chain. Our dog learned to hate that terrier after a few abrupt stops at the end of the chain. The terrier also liked to chase cars down the street, barking all the way. One afternoon, we were out in the yard working with my dad when the girl down the street drove off in an old Plymouth station wagon ... big fins, lots of glass and chrome trim. As she came near our place, the terrier bolted into the street, barking all the way and failed to notice our dog. Baron, our dog, saw the terrier and took off like a streak after him, but the car got between our dog and the terrier. Baron was intent on the terrier and failed to notice the car. The first point on contact was our dogs head hitting the Plymouth about where the front fender meets the front door, bashing it in and the windshield exploded. The dogs body then spun around and hit the rear door of the wagon and bashed it in with glass and chrome flying everywhere. All the glass on the right side of the car broke too and both doors were bashed in and sprung so they wouldn't open. The bent front fender cut into the tire. It went flat and the car swerved into the curb and bent the wheel under. We, my dad and a couple brothers and my mom were watching this all happen and we were aghast at the carnage. We figured Baron was dead, but no, he struggled back to his feet and sort of loped drunkenly back to our yard. You could almost see the stars and tweetybirds circling around his head like in the old cartoons. My dad went to look at the dog to see how bad he was hurt, but other than being knocked silly for a few minutes, his only injury was a broken off fang tooth. The car could not be driven away from the scene and had to be towed. It was an old enough car that the insurance company decided to total it. The next day, my mom called the insurance company and told the agent that our dog had run into a car and killed it. The conversation went something like this. Agent, "Now calm down, lady. Don't you mean that your dog was killed by the car." Mom, "No, I said my dog ran into a car and killed it." Agent, "So, the dog is dead?" Mom, "No, the dog is fine. The car is dead." Agent, "You mean to tell me a car hit your dog and the car lost?" Mom, "No, I said my dog hit the car and the car lost." Agent, "Lady, if you've got a dog big enough to run over a car and kill it, there's no way I'm coming over to your house to look at it." Baron lived for about 8 more years after the wreck and died of old age with that broken off fang still in place. Zing Lurks

One difference between skunks and cats ... our cat never ate my mom's geraniums. On the other hand, our skunk never beat up the neighbor's dog like my cat did regularly. Hmmm, guess we had some pretty strange pets when i was a kid. We had a dog who hit a car ... and totaled it. Zing Lurks

Hell would freeze over. Zing Lurks

As far as i know, every jumper who ever jumped eventually came back down, but not every scubadiver that ever went down has come back up. Zing Lurks

One of my little sisters "found" a cite little black and white kitty with a bushy tail while visiting a friend's farm. Then the kitty's mom found my little sister. Yup, she got sprayed. A few years later we did get a pet skunk that was descented when I was a kid. It lived for about 4 years and then came down with distemper and had to be put down. Pet-wise, they are very much like cats ... independant, curious, playful and sometimes devilish. Zing Lurks

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah! Oh, that was a serious question? I meant, Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha ... etc. Zing Lurks

Zing!!! Don't drag me into this you deaf fuck, I've never fucked any of the moderators from this website. Zing Lurks