jay81

and you know what??? thats it right there. i would also like to say i would never --ever hurt anybody doing this. i'm always looking out to help not hurt. and with myself i must admit i'm very careful (overly) with my pack job and everthing that goes along with this--because i want everything to go right. that's pretty ironic but true and contradictory and all that just almost doesn't make much sense but that's who and what i am. GOODNITE!!

i just got in from work and was surprised and not surprised at some of the talk on here---- and thanks for spending the time you did. tom a. i was a little surprised (in a good way-- ireally wasn't sure how you would take this) that you would admit such a thing! i really apprieciate it. bigwallmaster i really digested alot of what you said and alot of it struck home alot. and the same with dr.pepper the two of you mirrored --echoed--and validated exactly what I'M FEELING. thank you. and some of you i'm always going to choose my words with in the future like at exit points or landing areas or the hike back or the climb down! i'm not the type of person you'd look at and say "oh that guys messed up in the head!" I'M QUITE THE OPPOSITE. i'm around. REMEMBER I WAS JUST BEING HONEST ABOUT THE STUFF IN MY HEAD THE STUFF WE USUALY DON'T LET OUT we all keep secrets for the fear of what people will think. I'M STILL THE SAME GUY THAT MIGHT CARRY YOU OUT WHEN YOU HAD THE 180 OR THE BROKEN TOGGLE COME FLARE TIME.

hey i appreciate all of the personal messages i've recieved can't answer them all have to go to work but the few i've read so far at least validate some of my thinking, mostly in the sense that this is something "we all" just don't want to publicly don't want to talk about. because people like JACK DOFFDONNER out there will just slam you and make fun of you even though they might have some similar feelings---just so they can look cool and say whatever they have to say that's popular and do what everybody else does and says. we do live in a phony populist P C SOCIETY DONT WE. JUST SAY ALL THE RIGHT THINGS AND NOBODY WILL THINK YOUR WEIRD. (EVEN IF YOU B A S E).. HEY JACK DOFFDONNER I'M NOT ATTACKING YOU JUST WHAT YOU SAID AND HOW YOU SAID IT. i know alot of people goof on this sight=this is not of goof. and again thanks for all the PMs. i'll keep them all to myself==

hey canuck thanks for at least kinda saying "IT" a little (even though you didn't) but i'm not going "IN' on purpose at anytime. i'm going to keep going until..... i'm never stopping. a side note too--- have you ever noticed on THE LIST. in the "outside the sport" list..........how many suicides. and not to mention all the risky behavior. but mostly the suicides. doesn't seem like alot of 100% happy people (i know nobodys 100%). and another side note alot of the guys i have B.A.S.E d with sure share alot of the early childhoods other character traits as i. so iguess that's where i'm coming from. i was just wondering and putting it out there and being honest. sorry.

fine!! i'm not full of shit. if you knew who i was--you would KNOW I'M not full of it. anyway the question is still out there!! nobody wants to admit it. and if you still think i'm full of it. ask yourself what was the original reason you got into it all????

I APPRECIATE THE GET HELP THING IN ALL. BUT FIND IT HARD TO BELIEVE THAT PEOPLE WHO SERIOUSLY RISK THEIR LIVES LIKE THIS AND I KNOW AND YOU KNOW THAT ONE LITTLE ERROR CAN RUIN A PERFECTLY GOOD LEAP. I JUST CANT BEVIEVE I'M THE ONLY ONE?!? I'M JUST CURIOUS? AM I? NO WAY. ASK YOURSELVES WHAT PROMPTED YOU TO START SKYDIVING? WHAT SET YOU OFF? YOU HAD NOTHING ELSE TO LOSE. ETC. I NOT A DOWNER (PERSONALITY WISE-YOU WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW IT IF YOU MET ME) OR ANYTHING BUT I KNOW WE ALL HAVE THIS INSIDE WHY ELSE WOULD YOU RISK. AND BY THE WAY AGAIN I'M HAVING MORE FUN NOW THAN ANYTHING OR ANYONE HAS BROUGHT TO ME EVER. IN MY WHOLE LIFE BUT I KNOW EVENTUALLY--BSBD. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT IS!!!

I started B.A.S.E.ing for one simple reason!!!!!! TO DIE. REALLY TO DIE!!! I DIDN'T/DON'T HAVE ALOT GOING ON IN MY LIFE AND FIGURED "WHY NOT" EITHER TO PROVE TO MYSELF I WAS/AM WRONG ABOUT WANTING THIS (DEATH) OR TO HAVE FOUND A FUN WAY TO "SNUFF IT". WELL AS IT TURNS OUT I WAS'NT/AM NOT AFRAID OF IT (DEATH) AND IT'S THE MOST FUN AND REWARDING THING I'VE EVER DONE--F.U. REAPER!!!!!!---- BETTER THAN ANY GIRL I'VE EVER BEEN WITH OR WHATEVER IN MY LIFE. BUT I DO KNOW WHAT MY ORIGINAL INTENTIONS WERE/ARE AND AS I PROGRESS I'M SURE I'LL PUSH IT AND......BSBD. I REALLY DON'T CARE AND IF I'M PARALIZED IN ANY WAY I'LL TAKE THAT AS A SIGN TOO. AND I FIND A WAY TO "SNUFF IT" FROM THERE AS WELL. THE REASON I'M PUTTING THIS OUT THERE IS--WELL I'M WONDERING HOW MANY OTHERS ARE THERE? I KNOW I'M NOT THE ONLY ONE? I'M SURE DEEP DOWN INSIDE OF ALOT OF YOU THERE IS PAIN. THE TYPE OF PAIN THAT I HAVE. THE NEGLECT THAT I HAVE FELT AND FEEL. THE LONELINESS I FEEL. ALL OF THAT SHIT THAT JUST MAKES YOU NOT CARE!!!!! AND MAKE YOU DO THIS THING. I KEEPING MY NAME OUT OF SIGHT SO AS NOT BE CAST OUT AND POINTED AT LIKE A FREAK FOR SAYING WHAT I KNOW ALOT YOU KEEP INSIDE AND DON'T TALK ABOUT. ALL THAT DARK SHIT