MrFreefall383

I guess it qualifies as walking in on someone else, but not really. During college, my roommate walked in with his girlfriend, I was just getting to sleep, and they started... fondling each other. I say that with pause because they were both religious freaks, so that's all that happened for over an hour until they finally decided to have some respect and use her room. Fucking crazies. "If at first you don't succeed... well, so much for skydiving." - aviation cliche

Saturday I'm packing my shit, probably going out with some people as a last celebration before starting my 6 day, 3,000 mile drive to Oregon. It's the adventure, and it's a good start to my new assignment for the next 3 years with the Coast Guard. "If at first you don't succeed... well, so much for skydiving." - aviation cliche

I'm surprised it's only gotten to page 2, people must not have libraries of nasty jokes. I guess I'll throw a few more in. Disclaimer: These are all jokes, I'm not really this evil. What do you call 1,000 lawyers dead at the bottom of the ocean? A good start. What's black and brown an looks great on a lawyer? A doberman. How many women does it take to change a kitchen lightbulb? None, let the bitch cook in the dark. Why don't women need umbrellas? Because it doesn't rain between the kitchen and the bedroom. What screams and runs around in circles? A baby with its foot nailed to the floor. "If at first you don't succeed... well, so much for skydiving." - aviation cliche

Drank 2x Sam Adams tonight, and finished it off with one of the best cheeseburgers I've ever had in my life. Although maybe it's just because the shit they serve in the galley could gag a mule. Anyway, the drinks were good. "If at first you don't succeed... well, so much for skydiving." - aviation cliche

Fetish night, huh? Interesting story. I guess this is how you think of men in uniform.... LOL That's OK, as long as your particular variety of enthusiasm spreads to my area, everything should be alright. "If at first you don't succeed... well, so much for skydiving." - aviation cliche

Anyway, moving on. Lucky, still proceed with the fuckery. "If at first you don't succeed... well, so much for skydiving." - aviation cliche

Roger that Sergeant. Forget I said anything. "If at first you don't succeed... well, so much for skydiving." - aviation cliche

And I was gonna say you. Seriously... you think this will hurt feelings?? I don't want that to happen... I'll edit my post.. You were gonna say me? How sweet. I kind of wanted to see if you'd actually take that seriously though. Apparently you did to some degree. That's cool, but I think most guys can take a kick to the ego every so often. Proceed with the fuckery. "If at first you don't succeed... well, so much for skydiving." - aviation cliche

What would you see between the tits of an 80 year old woman that you wouldn't see between the tits of a 25 year old woman? Her belly button. "If at first you don't succeed... well, so much for skydiving." - aviation cliche

That's cruel and unusual. Not only are you putting the chicks in a pickle by asking them to choose, but you're putting ego and pride at stake for the guys. Pardon my French, but this is about to become a gagglefuck. "If at first you don't succeed... well, so much for skydiving." - aviation cliche

Boot. In a week that'll be Petty Officer Boot to you. I should ask what you're doing checking out pics of other guys in uniform. I mean I know about the "Don't ask, don't tell" policy and all, but is there something you'd like to share with the crowd? "If at first you don't succeed... well, so much for skydiving." - aviation cliche

Yeah, I have infinite respect for Coastie pilots, some of the best out there, even though they're all officers. Oh well, can't be perfect like us enlisted folks. "If at first you don't succeed... well, so much for skydiving." - aviation cliche

For the benefit of the crowd, one more good one from last week. http://www.flickr.com/photos/dmb383/3425353042/ "If at first you don't succeed... well, so much for skydiving." - aviation cliche

Hakuna matata, Happy Birthday! "If at first you don't succeed... well, so much for skydiving." - aviation cliche

Damn, I like my penis. Yeesh. "If at first you don't succeed... well, so much for skydiving." - aviation cliche

Many other less painful ways, but if you break up with someone, lose touch with them, and wish you could go back and change your decision 8 years later... yeah, that could be love. On less traumatic notes though, love is the hardest of all feelings to recognize, and yet the simplest in nature. Love is unwavering, undying affection for someone that makes you weak in the knees everytime you actually take time to think about it. Recognizing it usually hits you like a ton of bricks, but you don't know you caught on until the bricks have buried you. As I said, I was one of those unlucky people who realized I loved a girl right after I broke up with her, and we haven't spoken in years. That's sort of unusual, so look for that moment when you realize that nobody in your life has ever made you more satisfied with who you are, what you're doing, and what the future holds in store. "If at first you don't succeed... well, so much for skydiving." - aviation cliche

It does occur to me, it looks like I'm going to be in Roo's neck of the woods in the near future. I'm moving to Oregon in early May for a new three year assignment with the Coast Guard. I hope she's ready for me. "If at first you don't succeed... well, so much for skydiving." - aviation cliche

OK, there's where it's at. Apollard24, iluvtofly, and LuckyMcSwervy. Perfect combination. Wow, theres one combination that many men might not be able to handle. Throw a Roo in there and your looking for trouble. That would be the end of me. "If at first you don't succeed... well, so much for skydiving." - aviation cliche

A buddy is coming down here Saturday morning to attend a wedding. So he's going to make it a weekend and we're going to get into some shenanigans. "If at first you don't succeed... well, so much for skydiving." - aviation cliche

Yeah, on second thought, I did have a more painful breakup. Not nasty for her necessarily, she moved on fairly quickly, but I never really moved on. Just after the Chicago prom incident, I asked a girl locally to go to my prom, someone I knew in a youth group. I was attracted to her, so it wasn't a lie when I told her I really wanted to spend that special evening with her. It was a good choice, we had a great night, and she asked me to her prom. We graduated, she moved to Boston for school, I moved to North Dakota, and during the summer when I realized I was in way over my head, I broke up with her over the phone for no good reason. I thought I had my heart in the school thing, turns out I was way wrong, and lost the only woman I've ever truly loved because of it. Haven't really ever forgiven myself for it 8 years later, and we haven't spoken in about 6-7 years. If for some reason she ended up talking to me again, I would never let her go again, but after 8 years, that's probably the last thing that'll ever happen. Lesson learned and passed on, never let go of the right one, you'll regret it for life. "If at first you don't succeed... well, so much for skydiving." - aviation cliche

OK, there's where it's at. Apollard24, iluvtofly, and LuckyMcSwervy. Perfect combination. "If at first you don't succeed... well, so much for skydiving." - aviation cliche

OK, so April Fool's Day itself someone taped over the faucets in the Men's bathroom here in the barracks, got a few of us real good. Didn't get enough though, so he did it again today because he apparently couldn't get over it the first time. Douchebag. And today when we were about to finish our nav run down to VA Beach, one of the other boats called us on the radio, gave us a position, told us to come alongside. They told our coxswain and engineer that they dropped a propeller shaft, and they had a plug in the shaft fitting to keep from flooding the boat. They opened their engine hatches to make it more realistic, and had everyone mustered in the pilothouse. We bought it right up until we put over our alongside lines. Then their coxswain was like, "Wow, you guys are fucking gullible. April Fools." Douchebag times two. "If at first you don't succeed... well, so much for skydiving." - aviation cliche

To the threadstarter... you. And of course LuckyMcSwervy. "If at first you don't succeed... well, so much for skydiving." - aviation cliche

I might take the cake for this one, this was the biggest asshole move I ever made in my life, but it couldn't have been any sweeter. Started dating this girl late in my high school years, met her at a summer camp for future aviation freaks like myself. Got a little flight time, did some classwork on aerodynamics and shit, real fun summer. Anyway, we met there, started dating long distance once we left, I invited her to my prom in New York, she invited me to hers in Chicago, and my high school career was set to end on a good note. Unfortunately I was too blind to see until the day of her prom that she was a totally self-centered whore, we fought the day of her prom about something totally stupid, and because it was a personal choice type of issue, she said basically that if she had to choose between keeping me around and keeping her freedom to do as she pleased, she couldn't care less if I stuck around or not. Well, we were largely silent the rest of the day and early evening, went to her prom, hardly spoke, didn't dance at all, and I dumped her stupid ass at the prom. A couple days later I regretted it, thought I should've at least tried to enjoy the evening and not ruined her prom for her, but after a short time I decided it was the best thing I could've done. She ended up getting married and divorced twice within a couple years, got pregnant, had a miscarriage, and was a total shipwreck after I broke up with her, completely of her own choice. Asshole decision, nasty breakup, but had to be done. "If at first you don't succeed... well, so much for skydiving." - aviation cliche

She is easy like that though. "If at first you don't succeed... well, so much for skydiving." - aviation cliche