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Posts posted by Nataly

  1. 55 minutes ago, brenthutch said:

    “If you are white take two steps forward”

    Your video debunks white privilege better than I ever could.


    FFS.  That's not even a logical argument / conclusion.

    White Privilege is the acknowledgement that there are many mechanisms at play that favour one group over another

    You can keep denying that this is happening, and/or that the favoured group is white, but in order to do that you have to make mental gymnastics to ignore the facts.

    PS: I took "mental gymnastics" from the podcast link yesterday.  I had just called it "disingenuous" but I also like the mental imagery of doing cartwheels and backflips ^_^



  2. Hi everyone!  I've been reaching out to my obvious networks, but it occurred to me that skydivers are one of the most diverse group of people I know!!

    I you are Captain of a 80m+ vessel, if you know a Captain of a large vessel, if you are in a company that manages yachts, or that manufactures parts, or gives supplies, or affiliated with port / state / class authorities, or is in any way in the maritime industry...

    Do you need:

    - A Purser

    - Temporary relief from an admin surcharge

    - A Project Coordinator (ie: at a shipyard, on a built / refit)

    If so, please PM me so I can send my CV, or connect to me via LinkedIn:

    I know we are not supposed to advertise or market anything on here but I hope some lenience will apply when it comes to finding some work again...  I am entering my 6th month without employment and despite the market being extremely challenging at the moment I have put that time to good use, gaining more skills with regards to legislature, new Brexit rules for seafarers, I finished a specialist course, and I am regularly attending webinars with industry specialists / unions.  I bring a lot to the table and I want to work!!!

    Thanks in advance for any help.  Funny memes will also be appreciated for moral support!!

  3. 5 minutes ago, nigel99 said:

    This whole thread reminds me of this video. 


    This gets me every time.

    It's heartbreaking that some of the people at the very back still run their asses off knowing they don't stand a chance, overtaking tons of people but of course the outcome is as expected.

    I'm not sure I would run if I were at the very back...  Why bother?

  4. 4 hours ago, JerryBaumchen said:

    Hi Nataly,

    Re:   someone gets there education

    And paying attention in your English Composition class is also a learning process.

    Jerry Baumchen


    Yes, well...  You can lead a horse to water...


    PS: I read that Margaret Atwood has always been a terrible speller.  If this is true it is devastating  :$:$  

    (Margaret Atwood: living Canadian legend/treasure and author of Handmaid's Tale...  And many more books and also frequent contributor to Globe and Mail and just all-round very very cool lady...  Honestly I would happily "waste" days on end listening to her talk...  But I digress...  DEVASTATING...)

  5. 3 minutes ago, brenthutch said:

    Looks like someone gets there education on societal issues from a book/movie.

    Does “Little Fires Everywhere” ring a bell?

    Books and movies can be educational...


    From Wikipedia:

    Education is the process of facilitating learning, or the acquisition of knowledge, skills, values, morals, beliefs, and habits.

    And from French Wikipedia:

    - From the latin 'educere' - to be guided out of

  6. 5 minutes ago, billvon said:

    Not at all.  Just one example.

    ?? There is no such person.  What are you going on about?  Are you claiming that the only problems black people face are the problems they create for themselves?  I didn't think you were that clueless.

    Absolutely!  But walking around black is a lot more likely to get you shot than walking around in a grass skirt.

    Yep.  Now imagine because of your skin color you start off in the position that they assume you said FUCK the police, because the last person like you they saw they arrested for breaking into a liquor store and he was saying "FUCK the police."   You OK with that?  You OK with getting pulled over, saying FUCK the police and taking your chances?  Maybe if you play Beethoven it will be OK.

    Of COURSE I prejudge people.  It's something called homophily and it's something I have to be on guard against.  If I see a guy who looks different, has a really thick accent, dresses differently and smells funny, I am going to tend to have a negative opinion of him.  I have to fight against that to judge such a person fairly.

    If you pretend that none of that affects you - then you will judge people unfairly who don't look like you.

    Who is this Evil white person who is oppressing you so?

    The only people who think there's no such thing as white privledge are people who have never seen it because they benefit from it.

    "People starving?  But I am at this nice restaurant, and everyone I see has plenty to eat.  There's no such thing as hunger!"

    Billvon: agree on each point.

    And will only add one thing: acknowledging that white privilege is real is not the same things as claiming "all white men are evil"

    Here is one very simple example of privilege, which is natural and I bet if placed in the same situation, everyone would do the same... 

    Yesterday I saw a post on LinkedIn.  His teenage daughter would like to become a marine biologist.  So he went on LinkedIn and saw that one of hits 1st connexions was an award-winning marine biologist.  He reached out and wrote a message the the marine biologist, and the marine biologist generously offered to speak with the daughter about his work.  The guy was absolutely delighted and so thankful and how wonderful and his daughter was preparing questions for the marine biologist as he was typing the post.  What ensued was a string of likes and "congratulations - that's what LinkedIn is for" and "well done for reaching out" and "awwww that marine biologist is so kind to give his time" et cetera et cetera.

    Now, Mr. Darius11...  Reaching out into your network to see if you know anyone in the field of work that your daughter dreams of working in does not make you an evil person.  And being an award-winning marine biologist and mentoring a young girl who dreams of doing your job does not make you an evil person.  But can we agree that someone who cannot afford a computer and/or internet would NEVER be able to have that kind of reach for his own daughter??  I'm sure it will surprise no one that both the person who was posting and the award-wining marine biologist were white men.

    This is not a rare example of white privilege - this type of self-perpetuated advantage / access is incredibly hard to break.  Now, it's lovely to see people helping each other out, and lovely to see that a girl wanted to work in a male-dominated field...  It's not coming from a bad place, but it 100% is WHITE PRIVILEGE!!!!!!!!!!

  7. 42 minutes ago, Darius11 said:

    I don't think there is a single group of people on the planet that has not been oppressed abused or treated unfairly at a time in history. Its terrible for sure but Victimhood is not the solution. It hasn't been for the other groups who were treated terribly and faced unfair situations in the past. The Chinese, Japanese, Irish, Italians, and on and on and not just in America all over the world, literally everyone has ancestry that's been unfairly abused. You can choose to make that your identity however i dont think its the wise choice. If you are not currently directly affected that means someone is not oppressing you right now, then get a job make better decisions and your life will improve over time, or at minimum you will improve your probability of success.. 

    As for Racism, the question is what are you trying to solve? You cant invade someone's mind or control it, so as a society what we can do is not allow racist laws which i believe we both agree there are no racist laws on our books. 

    Racism is not just a white Issue either, how many BLM protesters screamed your white so shut the fuck up! What you say doesn't matter because your white! The facts that these were tolerated by media and some apologists even praised this in our country is an extremely sad occasion in our history. We seem to have lost some of the principles that make this country great. If i say the next president has to be a white male that's the same statement as if i say the next president has to be a brown female, those two statements are equally ignorant. We want whomever is best qualified.

    As for your last paragraph about most people not being capable of supreme effort: Ok so what's the solution? Am i supposed to help them or is that their family's responsibility?, are you to blame or the people responsible for teaching the child the people who made the child? How can you or me be responsible for a decision that we had nothing to do with?

    And what do you consider supreme effort?

    This country thanks to the high standard of living even the poor have it better then most of the world. I dont think its supreme effort to work 40 hr a week save money live at your means not spit out kids until your ready and have a stable S.O. These are all average basic minimum efforts stuff and all under your control. If you do these simple things you can have a good life.

    What missing is these lessons of hard work , discipline, the value of education or acquiring a useful skill are not being taught at the home. Whos job is it to teach these lessons? Who is responsible for teaching  how to behave, dress, and speak in society so you would be viewed in a positive light and not a negative one? i believe its the parents job unless you want a government official to take over which would be horrific in my opinion. There are many minorities who are greatly successful why is that? how do so many brown black and asians how do so many of them succeed while they started with less than even the poorest of americans? The answer is family culture, and the values someone taught them!

    The solution is hard and it takes self reflection from the communities affected to solve it for themselves. You make your community better on an individual one by one bases, sympathy about how pathetic you might be doesn't amount  to jack shit, and blaming someone or scorning the people who point out the truth will not solve the issues but perlong them.

    I refer back to my earlier example.  We need to stop telling women not to wear short dresses.  And start teaching men not to rape.

    We need to stop telling african americans to just work harder.  And start reforming laws that allow voter suppression, police brutality, unequal sentencing, tax breaks for the rich, and much much much more.

    Every creature on the planet struggles and humans are no different.  That is true.  It has been true historically and it will continue to be true.  And it is also true that specific groups of people struggle MORE.  And specific groups of people struggle LESS.  And this is by design.  White men designed the laws that govern America.  That is a statement of fact.  Those laws have evolved/improved over time but they are still very far from being fair.  You can deny it all you want, but your denial doesn't change the truth.


    EDIT: Sorry to pee on your parade, but America's not that great...

    • Like 2

  8. 4 hours ago, JoeWeber said:

    No apologies necessary.

    Awwww, cute.  In womanspeak, "sorry" is sometimes a polite way to acknowledge you are about to be (or have been) a cunt.  Because being cunty doesn't require you to be rude about it ^_^

    (Admittedly, being rude is usually more satisfying...)

    4 hours ago, JoeWeber said:

    Really, if you are going to play here you'll need to get used to being unfair, ignoring nuance, and taking things out of context, too.

    That's not how I want to play :E

    4 hours ago, JoeWeber said:

    When you get good

    According to whom?

    4 hours ago, JoeWeber said:

    Feel free to practice on me [...] I'll help you find someone more deserving.

    So kind and generous!  Will let you know if I need your help ;)^_^

    PS: sorry for all the emojis  

  9. 1 hour ago, JoeWeber said:

    If we truly are the least racist place on the planet, which for the sake of argument I'll concede [...]

    This is a bit unfair because I am taking out all the nuance in your argument!!  Sorry!!

    We pretty much all have a cognitive bias that makes people think they are better / more intelligent than average.  Of course statistically this is utter nonsense.  It is LITERALLY impossible for EVERYONE to be above average.  :rofl::seenoevil:  Most people, in fact, by definition, are average.  

    In a similar way, many, if not most, think their country is the best.  Hard to believe, isn't it?!  I mean...  In some places stealing an apple can result in getting your hand chopped off!!  And in other places, you can spend life in prison for trying to sell $30 of weed (but only if you happen to be black) ;)

    Again, the short section I chose to quote isn't really fair.  Please forgive me - I selfishly used it to make a point!!!  My point was: I really don't think the US is the least racist place in the world.  Not even close.  And many people outside of America would agree with me.  Statistically speaking, even if you disagree with me, it is far more likely to be average ;)

  10. Whatever you grow up with probably seems normal.  And it takes extra effort to see beyond your narrow field of vision and/or to critically assess what you think you know.  Not seeing something doesn't make it non-existant.  Consider an iceberg.  From the surface it may look small.  If a diver tells you "dude it's actually HUGE" and you don't believe the diver, it's because you are relying on the small part you have seen or heard about (what you think you know), and not the facts.

    There are many places in the world pointing to America right now as an example of how fucked up things can be and they are thankful not to be in the US.  They see what a lot of Americans don't/can't/won't see: the American Dream is a myth.   

    Pulling up exceptions of success despite the odds does not change those odds.  The fact that it is possible to climb a mountain, barefoot, without tools, during a blizzard, is not proof that the mountain does not exist.

    Re pandering to so-called victims...  How about we stop telling ourselves the lie that they just need to work harder?  Like they are the problem...  How long have we been saying to women stop wearing short skirts??  Shouldn't we be teaching men to stop raping??  

    • Like 2

  11. Oh dear...  Can't believe I am posting this...

    American legislation in particular was designed by white men who owned property.  They actively denied the vote to anyone else and this is a tradition that continues today.  And nevermind suppressing the vote... 

    It should come as no surprise that rules favour the rule-makers.  Always.  If all your rule-makers have historically been white men who owned property, you can't then turn around and say "but that doesn't exist anymore."  It sure as hell does.

    Look...  Those slaves who were "set free."  Did they get back pay for allllll those years where they worked without pay for the white man???  Did they get dividends from their direct contribution to their owners' increase in wealth???  Setting people free and not paying them for their work or their contribution, not allowing them to vote, not allowing them to own property, et cetera, et cetera...  Well, what kind of "freedom" is that, really?? 

    That's like taking a bird from it's tree, ripping off it's wings, and throwing it off from your balcony and saying: there you go, now go fly with the other birds!  And then claiming those wingless birds have the same opportunities as the other birds is just plain crazy.  And the descendants of wingless birds who never had anyone to teach them to fly are STILL operating with a handicap.  Et cetera, et cetera.

    Change - significant, real, long-lasting change - takes a verrrrrrrry long time.  Racism exists.  White Privilege exists.  Sexism exists.  Saying otherwise is either stupid as fuck, or extremely disingenuous.


    • Like 2

  12. 1 minute ago, ryoder said:

    We have a place like that in the US, too; It's called "Florida".

    Yep, my first 100+ jumps were in ZHills...  Similar in that there are lots of snowbirds / retirees, but slightly different demographic!!!

  13. 10 minutes ago, wmw999 said:

    I'm 66, and I'm still the same person I was, I really don't feel any older.

    Looking from the outside, yeah, I am -- I'm just a little less energetic when fired up (but still more energetic than most people I know when fired up), and a little less aware of current events/current celebrites/current trends. Not to mention those wrinkles.

    Wendy P.

    Maybe you know less about "trends" but I bet you know more about worldly events...

    EDIT: also, I should probably qualify that I decided to live in an area where the average age is probably about 80!!  It's a great way to always look like a kid in comparison!  HA!  It will catch up with me, though, obviously...  

    2nd EDIT: actually, I remember feeling soooooo indignant every time someone uttered the words "you don't understand."  But actually, until you have experienced something yourself you don't understand...  Not really.

  14. I caught myself saying "back in my days" last week and almost choked on my own words.

    I am 40, which seems young to me now and used to look old when I was younger...

    I did watch a video yesterday and one guy was saying progress has been going on steadily for 200+ years, so despite all the scary stuff on the news, statistically the next year is likely to follow this trend.

    I noted the video was posted back in the good old pre-pandemic days...

  15. 11 hours ago, oldwomanc6 said:

    I'm an optimist, but also a conservative.  

    Generally, I feel you make of your life what you put into it .  

    No one else can make you feel better. Only you can. 


    It's this easy? No, but mindset makes a difference. 


    I used to be one of the most negatively minded persons ever, but one day I made a decision. 


    About a year after I held a knife to my throat in front of my mom. 

    Whoa - so much to unpack and thank you for that response :)

    So interesting that 2 people added whether they are liberal / conservative!! 

    So I started googling whether being one or the other is correlated with optimism...  Honestly the results varied so much I didn't feel strongly convinced either way...  Seemed more like people were writing articles that bent the truth in a direction that suited them - didn't find any scientific research with data.  Not saying there is no research - maybe my algorithms have decided that I can't handle "real" data - hahahahahahaha!!!!

    I agree that mindset is very powerful and that you reap what you sow...  I don't want this to end up in SC so I will just say that some people are planting in soil and some in asphalt so results will vary!!

  16. Same same but different.  As my yoga instructor used to say ^.^

    I am definitely a pessimist.  I almost don't know what to do when good things happen because that's not what I planned for!!! 

    I see everything that could go wrong in an instant and I have to "force" myself back to reason and realise that the worst case scenario is also not the most likely outcome...  

    expect life to be a constant struggle, with small moments of joyfulness.  I treasure the good times because I feel like they too shall pass...

  17. 12 minutes ago, wmw999 said:

    I've heard it said that good decisions come from experience, and experience often comes from bad decisions. The key is to learn from others' decisions, not just your own.

    Wendy P.


  18. So I saw a really interesting video from a psychologist who was talking about Empathy vs. Sympathy... 

    A lot of it was delving into semantics, but he was saying that we throw the 2 words around without understanding the "clinical" definition and that technically speaking, despite how we have been using the words, they originally had very different meanings.

    In short, he said that:

    Sympathy = asking the question "how would *I* feel in that person's situation"

    Empathy = asking the question "what does *that* person feel and why"

    It's quite a different approach & he was making a case that they pretty much sit at opposite ends of the spectrum and are often even incompatible. 

    ie: people who have the sympathetic approach don't actually understand the other person.  And people who actually understand the other person, are less likely to feel sorry for them.

    He went into quite a lot of detail & I found it a really fascinating exploration.



    For anyone who is interested the video is quoted below.  It's in French, I'm afraid, but maybe you can activate subtitles in English??  I didn't manage, but I know some of you are far more technically savvy than me!






  19. On 1/27/2021 at 3:11 PM, skybytch said:

    If you'll be out supporting yourself by next summer, that's awesome.  Get back in the air, get your license, buy gear, become a world champion swooper. At that point, she has no say regarding what you do or don't do.   

    If your parents are still paying any of your bills then, you might consider waiting until you have assumed full responsibility for your life prior to jumping again.  It's just the respectful thing to do. 

    Hehe...  "My house my rules" makes far more sense once you become autonomous, start owning shit, pay your own bills, et cetera!!!

    And all those people who say "you will understand when you have children" are probably quite right...

    Much of the exaggerated perception of the "extreme" nature of skydiving has been driven by sensationalism in movies or on the news...  Taking rare examples and making them out to be far more common or worse than they really are.  That said, the sport is not risk-free, no matter how much people try to convince themselves otherwise...  So every incident "proves" that it is dangerous...  And it IS dangerous...  And you absolutely can get injured badly and even die. 

    So it's quite a leap for even the most intelligent person to understand that yes it is dangerous, but it's also "not as bad as they think"

    Add to that the fact you have been injured...  Well, your mom who cares about you is perfectly rational in feeling concern that you want to get back into the sport...  The sky is not going anywhere.  Nothing wrong with holding off a bit as well...  I've also waited a bit on some things because my loved ones did not approve.  If my family didn't deserve that kind of consideration I might have acted differently as well.  Only you know that. 

    I've plowed ahead in some cases despite EVERYONE telling me I was wrong.  For some things I am glad I didn't listen...  For others I wish I had!!  Hahaha!

    • Like 1

  20. On 1/23/2021 at 6:53 AM, oldwomanc6 said:

    Aren't family dynamics a wonderful thing?


    Don't ever discount the care and love your family has for you.  Not all have that.

    Amen to that!!!

    No one knows better than you the "best" way to manage your particular situation, but still some valuable insights nonetheless...

    It's nice that your family cares.  

    If your mother's approval is important to you (and it sounds like it is), the best thing you can do for a start is try to understand her point of view.  I'm not saying you have to agree with her but at least do your best to understand how and why she feels the way she does.

    Then try to help her see things from your perspective.  Again, she doesn't have to *agree* with you...  Understanding each other is a good start.  :)

    Good luck!

    • Like 1

  21. For the purposes of this poll, let's say that:

    Optimist = tends to focus on the positive

    Pessimist = tends to focus on the negative

    I deliberately did not include a third option, which would be "mix of the two"...  We all sit on a spectrum and almost no one is perfectly in the middle!!!










  22. On 12/22/2020 at 9:40 PM, wmw999 said:

    And the other thing to remember is that everyone else is just as full of doubts sometimes as you are. They hide it, too.

    Wendy P.

    Hey Wendy - so true!  People don't typically show their vulnerability.  And with good reason, too...  Because their reputation / job / etc depend on perceived/projected strength, so it's not always possible or desirable to share everything...

    Saw a really lovely post on LinkedIn (if I find it again, I will post here)...  The guy did a short video to explain that he was getting more and more feedback from people who were feeling inadequate & stressed about not being as productive as they should during the lockdown... 

    And he said yes, of course people are feeling this because of the CONSTANT positivity on social media...  He stressed that people post the best 5% of themselves on Insta / Facebook / LinkedIn, etc...  So it's wrong and unhelpful to compare your "shitty" 95% to someone else's top (and exaggerated) 5%...  And let's face it, people share a heightened, false, exaggerated, AMAZING image of themselves...  It's not real.  Or at least it's quite far from the WHOLE truth.

    It's kinda sad that it needs to be said at all, but it was on-point and came at a great time...  ^_^