Blindpost

Hey all I just wanted to update what's going on in case somebody has a friend in a similar situation... We had a great time on Thursday when we went out. We spent a total of 8 1/2 hours together...lunch, movie, then just talking for hours. I really appreciate all of the ideas people brought up in this thread, and I put them to good use. thanks again. In the end, she needed somebody to listen to what she was going through, someone to understand why she's frustrated, to tell her that she's a good person...to tell her that she is still respected and worthy. I love my friend and I'm staying in touch. She did go back to her sister's in Canada...and I'm waiting to hear back from her on how that went. I did the best that I could, and again, I really appreciate people here that gave me some feedback and helped me get my thoughts together to be supportive for her. I'm hoping she'll plan to come down in the next couple of weeks again and I'll take her out for some more fun. It did us both so much good; I didn't realize how badly I was hurting myself until we started talking about our childhood together and why things were different for the two of us. We went through a traumatic event together (she watched me code in front of her at age 12), and damn if I hadn't even remembered it until she brought it up... Thanks again, and I'll maybe post now and then when she makes some break-throughs to give everyone else hope. Edit spelling

And thats all they will ever need....a friend. Everyone seeks comfort in their peers. You are doing good right now by jsut being there for her. She is seeking professional help...let them help her..thats what they are there for. You...should be there for the comforting and letting them know that they will always have someone to talk to and do things with. IMO you are doing what you should be doing! Good to hear, I certainly hope so...

This is very true. A severely depressed person has a hard time attempting to do things that might help them out of their own depression. It's a horrible spiral. I am a big fan of behavior modification with affirmations, and directed thought process to control or lessen some of the symptoms of depression and OCD.

You're absolutely right. Exercise causes an increase in serotonin levels and can help correct an imbalance, but if the imbalance is severe, exercise is often insufficient. What along with exercise can be done to help with serotonin levels? I've got issues with mine (inherited is the theory) and none of the "typical" medications work. Exercise helps some (unless you have a broken tailbone) but is there anything else natural that helps? I've tried 5-htp before but I'm not exactly sure how it's supposed to be taken and I get conflicting answers from the net. You may want to do some reading on DHEA. It is a supplement that is usually readily available in most health food stores/GNc type stores. Personally I don't feel any different on it, by my doc suggested it for adrenal support, and I think I recall reading how it helps boost serotonin production. -Check around on the internet to see if it has been shown to help in that area.

I don't have a whole lot of 'social life'. I have my own family to take care of. The two of us are going to lunch and to see Pirates III tomorrow, though.

You're absolutely right. Exercise causes an increase in serotonin levels and can help correct an imbalance, but if the imbalance is severe, exercise is often insufficient. Regular exercise was part of her recommended therapy -along with the puppy, and the medications, and the psychotherapy. I'm really going to try to get her involved in a hobby or sport to add to this. In some cases, the more people you feel you are accountable to, the less likely you are to feel that nobody would be harmed if you 'slip away'. -That's not a doctor's study, that is just what I have observed in the real world, in some cases. Additionally, a hobby or sport gives you a goal, and having a goal -whether that be to submit one of your original works of art to a group of friends or competition, or to run a marathon, often can help people persevere through the 'low' spots.

Your whole post was very good, but I think I am going to add this part specifically into my 'plan' of what I'm going to say to her tomorrow: Thank you

I am going to read through that again right before I leave the house tomorrow; that is some incredible advice! I was thinking back to our last brunch together and I was wrestling with 'Did I seem concerned enough? Did it seem like I brushed off her pain? Or did she just need to be with me for awhile -her little buddy from 6th grade?' I think I did it right. She wrote to me after that brunch and told me that it was great to remember why we had become such good friends... I just don't ever want her to think that I don't take her pain seriously -she is one of the only people that knows the horrible road I tread when I was 15. I took charge at the last minute and found somebody to help me back out of my mistake. I don't know how depressed people seem to know that about me -honestly, I have told NO ONE, except for her, yet depressed people seem to confide in me for some reason. Sometimes I think I have helped. Sometimes, obviously, I didn't. I have lost too many friends to suicide. I am sorry to hear about your dad. It sounds like you are still harboring some small amount of resentment towards yourself over that; remember that we can't hold ourselves accountable for someone else's decision. As I mentioned, unfortunately I know that burden too well. And I need to remember to take my own advice sometimes.

I'm trying to look at this situation objectively, gather all of my thoughts, and sort through them. I'm just posting to use other peoples' brains to try to add something of value... I have a good friend that has been terribly depressed for many years. She is suicidal. She recently quit her job and moved out of country to live with her sister to see if 'getting away from here' would help. It didn't. Apparently now her family is smothering her somehow and the insanity of all that is worse than her own illness (her words). She has medical issues that haven't been solved and haven't been helped very much...endocrine and reproductive system issues that always seem to compound depression problems... I send her messages now and then to try to keep tabs on how she's doing without hovering, and she sent me a message yesterday saying that she just left her sister's house and is now crashing at a friend's who lives about 30 miles from me because she couldn't handle her sister...she left her puppy with her sister (the puppy was her psychotherapist's idea), and told me that she confirmed that her mom and dad would take care of her pup if 'anything should happen'. Well damn if that isn't a sign that all hell is breaking loose... She's been seeing a psychotherapist, and is looking at or has been to a psichiatrist. She's on meds. She's following 'doctors orders' and getting exercise, and taking care of a puppy and her two cats (or was until yesterday), and is still finding that life is not worth it. We're going out together tomorrow...obviously I called her immediately when I saw her response to my last message yesterday. She says that she's happy around me & it reminds her of why we had been best friends from 6th grade through high school... This is what I've got: She needs to get involved in a hobby or a sport or something where she can find friends. She will NOT find friends in her bedroom with a bottle of wine and pills. She is brilliant and needs an outlet; if she could start writing fiction, like we used to when we were kids, she could find her true calling...or phtography, or SOMETHING. Take advantage of the freedom that you have and FORGET DATING RIGHT NOW. Part of the depression stems from failed attempts at dating (online services, whatever). I swear women need to look for interests...find friendships by pursuing those interests, and eventually you'll meet a guy while doing that! Spear hunting for a man never works. Her family is trying to protect her because her behavior is scaring them. Don't be mad at them because they love you... And finally, I am always here. You had better always be there. If you do something to yourself I swear to God I'm hunting you down in the afterlife and will beat the living shit out of you. (Ok, that part I'm not saying in those words...) I am a REALIST. Institutionalising someone in a severely depressed state NEVER SEEMS TO JUST PROP THEM RIGHT BACK UP ON THEIR FEET. I have seen too many sides of suicide to believe that garbage. -Send them to the hospital, you save them for a week and solve nothing in the long run. She's already SEEING professional help. What am I missing? What other options? I can't be with the woman 24/7, and she is not 'needy' and calling me daily or anything. How the hell do I help my friend? Thoughts? Please give me some ideas. I am not a doctor. SHE'S seeing the doctor. What the hell else do I do here?!? PS...she's not the only single 30-something female friend that has suddenly called me with depression/suicidal thoughts. If you can believe it, I have another friend that I visited in her house just last week with almost the same - damn - issues stemming from her parents death in a plane crash (she wanted me to read the NTSB report and ask me what I thought because I fly)... My God I am not a doctor. I know they trust me and need me right now, but I am running out of ideas...I didn't finish my psych degree and I am lacking. I am not trying to fix them, I am trying to be what they need me to be -a friend.

I doubt he's practicing any more; the original diagnosis came as a teenager more than 16 years ago after a suicide attempt (thank God I think my med records were 'lost' as nobody knows about this...) It was a 'typical' teenager suicide try I think...swallowed about 20 sleeping pills then went to find help because I thought about what it would do to my family. -The relapse I had about 5-6 years ago I saw a doc in the city that is not there any longer. It's the government and it's a 'life-entrusting' position, that's all I'll say about that. Thank you, thanks to everyone for some light at the end of the tunnel. I will most definitely try some St. John's Wort and some Omega 3, and some other vitamins and some sunshine. I will get through this, but as of today, I have resolved to TRY and push through it without the meds. It's not only my livelihood, my 'job' was my life's ambition too. I cannot let that walk away. Imagine having migraines let's say...and needing a prescrip for something like Zomig. -But the FAA will not let a skydiver jump if they are on Zomig or have been on Zomig in the previous 6 months. What would you do? This is the same kind of daily pain, and I am forced to make the same types of choices. I will conquer this, and I will not give up my life that I have worked hard to build to do it. Thanks Michelle and Rhonda and Rdy and everyone else who have pointed to newsgroups and websites. I will win because I will educate myself on HOW to win.

I called the endocrinologist that is on my insurance...he said "if your T4 is fine (that's all they measure) what do you want me to do?" I'll call my ND although he's kind of flighty. Maybe he will give me a prescrip and I can figure this out. As for the talking therapy thing...well, I have nobody to talk to, and the internet is great for ideas, but I need somebody face to face that can help me pick through these issues. I lead an extremely complicated life. Speaking of which, I'm just reading this document right now -if it's found out that I'm on any anti-depressants, my career is over quite literally. It's a government thing that I can't get into, but it just adds to the hell that has become life. Maybe I'll try some St. John's Wort first. It's the only thing that won't show up on a urinalysis or in my med records.

I'll check around and see if I can find anything. Phone book didn't offer anything, but I'll keep looking. Thanks

I checked the local clinics in the area because I'm symptomatic again after thinking I had kicked it (). I think it's time to give up the fight and have to get back on medication after years of being med free -this is a huge failure for me, but I recognize life won't be right if I don't give in and do it. I've called every psychiatrist in my town -nadda. Nobody is accepting new patients. I expand the search. I'm on hold with one agency for 15 minutes before I get to talk to someone and he tells me they are 6 weeks out minimum for what they call 'in take', which then means you have to wait however many more weeks before actually seeing a doctor. He says all I can do is call my insurance company. They tell me to check their website, that only lists doctors...that I have already called. Nothing? Really? Someone in this condition needs to wait months prior to getting some help? I just can't believe it. I wouldn't categorize myself as suicidal, but I guess that's what it takes to get help here. Has anyone had to deal with this? WTF...the guy on the phone told me it would be that long if I wanted 'counseling' with my meds. -Meaning I could get a prescription sooner? Seriously, someone is just going to throw you on an anti-depressant without counseling? Who in the hell does this?? Does anyone have any ideas???

Just got off the phone with the doc. Very interesting. 6 things he was checking were (and see if these are familiar? Perhaps, or maybe not) as follows. He figured one of these situations may be causing my problems, apparently all six were Anti-bodies. Auto-immune system begins attacking yourself and destroying your own glands (thyroid). Happens to some women after childbirth. -In his office, he said this would be the toughest to deal with, as the desintegrating gland kicks out some hormone sometime, too much now and then, and nothing at all quite a bit, all the way until it dies. Difficult to treat, no cure, and no way to slow it down. Result: He said I have the highest level of anti-bodies he's ever seen. TSH -too high. T3 - too low. Ferratine (stores of iron in your body) - non-existent. I have no iron storage in my body. Insulin - too high, but thank God not diabetic. Adrenal gland function - wayyyy too low. So I guess the good news is some of it is treatable!

Thanks for the offer, but it's hypo instead of hyper.