tunaplanet

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Posts posted by tunaplanet


  1. Who can answer all 5 questions first?

    1) Name of Amelia Earhart's co-pilot on her final, tragic flight?

    2) Name of the Secretary of Defense during the Kennedy administration?

    3) Only Seattle Seahawk in the Hall of Fame?

    4) What does the acronym LASER stand for?

    5) Who was the original drummer for the Beatles?



    Forty-two

  2. Well at least you served. That's make us brothers...well...step brothers B|

    I may talk tough about other branches, but I have nothing but respect for any fellow soldier...regardless of branch.



    Forty-two

  3. Wow, I have been on a few message boards before. You get your standars types...those who think they know everything, claim to be things they aren't.....

    But this has got to be the worst as far as flaming goes. Never understood why people feel the need to flame everyone. Seriously, get a life. The Highway Patrol Officer was a moron on a power trip from the sound of it. What can I say...some people with low self esteem sometimes feel the need to talk down to people...in return making them feel better/more powerful. And trust me...law enforcement is FILLED with low self esteemed individuals. I know, I work with them. I do consulting to many SWAT and Tact units around the state. These men, as nice as some of them are, are for the most part insecure. Are all of them like that? Of course not. However, this is more the norm.

    The patrol officer is thankful he didn't get choke-slammed on the pavement. Have I ever assaulted an officer? Shamefully, yes. Did he deserve it? Hell yeah! Does it make it right? Of course not. I was in a bar in Virginia Beach. There was 3 off-duty cops in the bar. I was loud, but not rowdy. They came over to me, trying to intimidate me by stating they were cops. After seeing I was not impressed, one of them poked his finger against my chest stating I better lose my attitude.

    Wrong answer.

    I grabbed his throat and balls and tossed him against the bar. His buddies, like clock-work jumped in. Long story short...we all got banged up. In avoided jail time. I was however fined $1,500...500 for each cop. I paid it gladly.

    In short, lay off the flaming. Don't type just to see your own words. Relax. Let's try and be more polite and professional.

    Peace



    Forty-two

  4. The Top 10 Things You Don't Want To Hear From Technical Support

    10. So, what are you wearing?

    9. Bummer! Duuuuuuuude!

    8. Looks like you're going to need some new dilythium crystals, Capt'n.

    7. Press 1 for support. Press 2 if you want it today. Press 3 to buy the company.

    6. We can fix this, but you're gonna need a butter knife, a roll of Duct Tape, and a car battery.

    5. I'm sorry, Dave. I'm afraid I can't do that.

    4. In layman's terms, it's kaput!

    3. Hold on a second....MOM! Timmy's hitting me!

    2. Okay, turn to page 463 in your copy of Dianetics.

    1. Please hold for Mr. Gates' attorney.






    Things Not To Say to Police Officers:

    1. Are you Andy or Barney?

    2. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.

    3. I thought you had to be in good physical condition to be a police officer.

    4. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.

    5. I pay your salary!

    6. Aren't you the guy from the Village People?

    7. Hey, you must've been doing' about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job!

    8. You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?

    9. Gee, Officer! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too!

    10. I was trying to keep up with traffic. I know there are no other cars around. That's how far ahead of me they are.






    STATE SLOGANS

    Alabama: Yes, We Have Electricity

    Alaska: 11,623 Eskimos Can't Be Wrong!

    Arizona: But It's A Dry Heat

    Arkansas: Literacy Ain't Everything

    California: By 30, Our Women Have More Plastic Than Your Honda

    Colorado: If You Don't Ski, Don't Bother

    Connecticut: Like Massachusetts, Only The Kennedy's Don't Own It Yet

    Delaware: We Really Do Like The Chemicals In Our Water

    Florida: Ask Us About Our Grandkids

    Georgia: We Put The "Fun" In Fundamentalist Extremism

    Hawaii: Haka Tiki Mou Sha'ami Leeki Toru (Death To Mainland Scum, But Leave Your Money)

    Idaho: More Than Just Potatoes ... Well Okay, We're Not, But The Potatoes Sure Are Real Good

    Illinois: Please Don't Pronounce the "S"

    Indiana: 2 Billion Years Tidal Wave Free

    Iowa: We Do Amazing Things With Corn

    Kansas: First Of The Rectangle States

    Kentucky: Five Million People; Fifteen Last Names

    Louisiana: We're Not ALL Drunk Cajun Wackos, But That's Our Tourism Campaign

    Maine: We're Really Cold, But We Have Cheap Lobster

    Maryland: If You Can Dream It, We Can Tax It

    Massachusetts: Our Taxes Are Lower Than Sweden's (For Most Tax Brackets)

    Michigan: First Line Of Defense From The Canadians

    Minnesota: 10,000 Lakes ... And 10,000,000,000,000 Mosquitoes

    Mississippi: Come And Feel Better About Your Own State

    Missouri: Your Federal Flood Relief Tax Dollars At Work

    Montana: Land Of The Big Sky, The Unabomber, Right-Wing Crazies, And Very Little Else

    Nebraska: Ask About Our State Motto Contest

    Nevada: Whores and Poker!

    New Hampshire: Go Away And Leave Us Alone

    New Jersey: You Want A ##$%##! Motto? I Got Yer ##$%##! Motto Right Here!

    New Mexico: Lizards Make Excellent Pets

    New York: You Have The Right To Remain Silent, You Have The Right To An Attorney ...

    North Carolina: Tobacco Is A Vegetable

    North Dakota: We Really Are One Of The 50 States!

    Ohio: At Least We're Not Michigan

    Oklahoma: Like The Play, Only No Singing

    Oregon: Spotted Owl ... It's What's For Dinner

    Pennsylvania: Cook With Coal

    Rhode Island: We're Not REALLY An Island

    South Carolina: Remember The Civil War? We Didn't Actually Surrender

    South Dakota: Closer Than North Dakota

    Tennessee: The Educashun State

    Texas: Si' Hablo Ing'les (Yes, I Speak English)

    Utah: Our Jesus Is Better Than Your Jesus

    Vermont: Yep

    Virginia: Who Says Government Stiffs And Slackjaw Yokels Don't Mix?

    Washington: Help! We're Overrun By Nerds And Slackers!

    Washington, D.C.: Wanna Be Mayor?

    West Virginia: One Big Happy Family ... Really!

    Wisconsin: Come Cut The Cheese

    Wyoming: Where Men Are Men ... and the sheep are scared !!!






    Animals Have The Darndest Thoughts

    Dog: "They keep putting the lid down on the big water bowl."

    Goldfish: "Just because I have a three-second memory, they don't think
    I'll mind eating the same fish flakes ... Oh boy! Fish flakes!"

    Dog: "Man, why do they keep rubbing my nose in it? I already KNOW
    whose it is!"

    Goldfish: "The wimp-ass knight never comes out of the castle to fight
    me for dominion over the fish tank. So I must continue
    patrolling, for I am lord and master!"

    Parrot: "Tease, tease, tease! But do those greedy clowns ever really
    give me a cracker? HECK, no!"

    Dog: "Human legs that just tease."

    Cat: "Why are these people in my house?"

    Dog: "What the... HEY!!! Where are my balls?!?"

    Goldfish: "Oh, tap-tap-tap! There's a new one!"






    TOP 10 REASONS TO GO TO WORK NAKED (okay - 11)

    11. No one ever steals your chair.

    10. Gives "bad hair day" a whole new meaning.

    9. Diverts attention from the fact that you also came to work drunk.

    8. People stop stealing your pens after they've seen where you keep them.

    7. So that -with a little help from Muzak you can add "Exotic Dancer" to your
    exaggerated resume.

    6. You want to see if it's like the dream.

    5. To stop those creepy guys in Marketing from looking down your blouse.

    4. "I'd love to chip in, but I left my wallet in my pants."

    3. Inventive way to finally meet that special person in Human Resources.

    2. Can take advantage of computer monitor radiation to work on your tan.

    ... And (drum roll) the number one reason to Go To Work Naked:

    1. Your boss is always yelling, "I wanna see your ass in here by 8:00!"






    Top 10 Things Not To Say To A Father When Picking Up His Daughter For A Date

    "Now.. show me how you used to spank her."
    "Do you think she would put out if I told her that I loved her?"
    "I just got my license today."
    "Five bucks says she's a D-cup."
    "You taught her to swallow, didn't you?"
    "So, does your wife just lay there during sex too?"
    "Hi. I'm Robert, but my friends call me 'Back Door Bob.'"
    "I believe being sexually active since I was 12 has helped me mature."
    "Please come inside? Wow, you sound just like your daughter."

    "I feel like we both have something in common, she calls ME daddy too!"






    THINGS NOT TO SAY TO YOUR PREGNANT WIFE

    17. "I finished the Oreos"

    16. "Not to imply anything, but I don't think the kid weighs 40 pounds."

    15. "Y'know, looking at her, you'd never guess that Pamela Lee had a baby!"

    14. "I sure hope your thighs aren't gonna stay that flabby forever!"

    13. "Well, couldn't they induce labor? The 25th is the Super Bowl"

    12. "Darned if you ain't about 5 pounds away from a surprize visit from that Richard Simmons fella. '

    11. "Fred at the office passed a stone the size of a pea. Boy, that's gotta hurt!"

    10. "Whoa! For a minute there, I thought I woke up next to Willard Scott!"

    9. "I'm jealous! Why can't men experience the joy of childbirth?

    8. "Are your ankles supposed to look like that?"

    7. "Get your *own* ice cream."

    6. "Geez, you're awfully puffy looking today!"

    5. "Got milk?"

    4. "Maybe we should name the baby after my secretary, Tawney."

    3. "Man! That rose tattoo on your hip is the size of Madagascar!"

    2. "Retaining water? Yeah, like the Hoover Dam retains water."

    ... and finally ...

    1. "You don't have the guts to pull the trigger....."






    Quick Driver Identification
    Here are some simple guidelines for helping you determine where a driver comes from:

    One hand on wheel, one hand on horn: CHICAGO
    One hand on wheel, one finger out window: NEW YORK
    One hand on wheel, one finger out window, cutting across all lanes of traffic: NEW JERSEY
    One hand on wheel, one hand on newspaper, foot solidly on accelerator: BOSTON
    One hand on wheel, one hand on nonfat double decaf cappuccino, cradling cell phone, brick on accelerator, gun in lap: LOS ANGELES
    Both hands on wheel, eyes shut, both feet on brake, quivering in terror: Ohio, but driving in CALIFORNIA
    Both hands in air, gesturing, both feet on accelerator, head turned to talk to someone in back seat: ITALY
    One hand on 12 oz. Double shot latte, one knee on wheel, cradling cell phone, foot on brake, mind on radio game, banging head on steering wheel while stuck in traffic: SEATTLE
    One hand on wheel, one hand on hunting rifle, alternating between both feet being on the accelerator and both feet on brake, throwing McDonald's bag out the window: TEXAS
    Four-wheel drive pick-up truck, shotgun mounted in rear window, beer cans on floor, squirrel tails attached to antenna: ALABAMA
    Two hands gripping wheel, blue hair barely visible above windshield, driving 35 on the Interstate in the left lane with the left blinker on: FLORIDA






    The Worlds Thinnest Books

    MY LIFE'S MEMORIES - by Ronald Reagan
    BEAUTY SECRETS - by Janet Reno
    HOME BUILT AIRPLANES - by John Denver
    HOW TO GET TO THE SUPER BOWL - by Dan Marino
    THINGS I LOVE ABOUT BILL - by Hillary Clinton
    WOMEN I HAVEN'T SEXUALLY HARASSED - by Bill Clinton
    THINGS I CAN'T AFFORD - by Bill Gates
    THINGS I WOULD NOT DO FOR MONEY - by Dennis Rodman
    THE WILD YEARS - by Al Gore
    AMELIA EARHART'S GUIDE TO THE PACIFIC OCEAN
    AMERICA'S MOST POPULAR LAWYERS
    DETROIT - A TRAVEL GUIDE
    DR. KEVORKIAN'S COLLECTION OF MOTIVATIONAL SPEECHES
    EVERYTHING MEN KNOW ABOUT WOMEN
    EVERYTHING WOMEN KNOW ABOUT MEN
    ALL THE MEN I'VE LOVED BEFORE - by Ellen DeGeneres
    MIKE TYSON'S GUIDE TO DATING ETIQUETTE
    SPOTTED OWL RECIPES-by the EPA
    THE AMISH PHONE DIRECTORY
    THE WORLD'S MOST TALENTED RAP MUSICIANS
    MY PLAN TO FIND THE REAL KILLERS - by O. J. Simpson






    TOP TEN THINGS THAT MEN UNDERSTAND ABOUT WOMEN
    1.
    2.
    3.
    4.
    5.
    6.
    7.
    8.
    9.
    10.






    Ok, hope you enjoyed those. Man these beers are good. Mmmmmmm...beeeeeeeer.....



    Forty-two

  5. WHAT YOUR CAR SAYS ABOUT YOU

    Acura Integra - I have always wanted to own the Buick of sports cars

    Acura Legend - I'm too bland for German cars

    Acura NSX - I am impotent

    Audi 90 - I enjoy putting out engine fires

    Buick Park Avenue - I am older than 34 of the 50 states

    Cadillac Eldorado - I am a very good Mary Kay salesman

    Cadillac Seville - I am a pimp

    Chevrolet Camaro - I enjoy beating the hell out of people

    Chevrolet Chevette - I like people's reactions when I tell them I have a 'Vette

    Chevrolet Corvette - I'm in a mid-life crisis

    Chevrolet El Camino - I am leading a militia to overthrow the government

    Chrysler Cordoba - I dig the rich Corinthian leather

    Datsun 280Z - I have a kilo of cocaine in my wheel well

    Dodge Dart - I teach third grade special education and I voted for Eisenhower

    Dodge Daytona - I delivered pizza for four years to get this car

    Ford Fairmont - (See Dodge Dart)

    Ford Mustang - I slow down to 85 in school zones

    Ford Crown Victoria - I enjoy having people slow to 55mph and change lanes when I pull up behind them

    Geo Storm - I will start the 11th grade in the fall

    Geo Tracker - I will start the 12th grade in the fall

    Honda del Sol - I have always said, half a convertible is better than no convertible at all

    Honda Civic - I have just graduated and have no credit

    Honda Accord - I lack any originality and am basically a lemming

    Infiniti Q45 - I am a physician with 17 malpractice suits pending

    Isuzu Impulse - I do not give a damn about J.D. Power or his reports

    Jaguar XJ6 - I am so rich I will pay 60K for a car that is in the shop 280 days per year

    Kia Sephia - I learned nothing from the failure of Daihatsu Corp

    Lincoln Town Car - I live for bingo and covered dish suppers

    Mercury Grand Marquis - (See above)

    Mazda Miata - I do not fear being decapitated by an eighteen-wheeler

    Mitsubishi Diamante - I don't know what it means either

    Oldsmobile Cutlass - I just stole this car and I'm going to make a fortune off the parts

    Peugeot 505 Diesel - I am on the EPA's Ten Most Wanted List

    Porsche 911 Turbo - I have a three inch thingie

    Porsche 944 - l am dating big haired women that otherwise would be inaccessible to me

    Saturn SC2 - (See Honda Civic)

    Subaru Legacy - I have always wanted a Japanese car even more inferior than the Isuzu

    Toyota Camry - I am still in the closet

    Volkswagon Beetle - I still watch Partridge Family reruns

    Volkswagon Cabriolet - I am out of the closet

    Volkswagon Microbus - I am tripping right now



    Forty-two

  6. The Real Meaning Behind Personal Ad Abreviations

    Most people have at least once in their lives, read through the
    singles classified ads. Perhaps wondering what type of person is
    behind the ad. Maybe some of you have even answered some of them.

    Well for those of you that have tried to figure out what those
    descriptions really mean, one of our subscribers has done it for
    you!

    The real meaning behind the abbreviations in personal ads:

    FIRST THE ADS FROM WOMEN

    40-ish.................. 48
    Adventurer.............. Has had more partners than you ever will
    Athletic................ Flat-chested
    Average looking......... Ugly
    Beautiful............... Pathological liar
    Contagious Smile........ Bring your penicillin
    Educated................ College dropout
    Emotionally Secure...... Medicated
    Feminist................ Fat; ball buster
    Free spirit............. Substance user
    Friendship first........ Trying to live down reputation as slut
    Fun..................... Annoying
    Gentle.................. Comatose
    Good Listener........... Borderline Autistic
    New-Age................. All body hair, all the time
    Old-fashioned........... Lights out, missionary position only
    Open-minded............. Desperate
    Outgoing................ Loud
    Passionate.............. Loud
    Poet.................... Depressive Schzophrenic
    Professional............ Real Witch
    Redhead................. Shops the Clairol section
    Reubenesque............. Grossly Fat
    Romantic................ Looks better by candle light
    Voluptuous.............. Very Fat
    Weight proportional to height..................Hugely Fat
    Wants Soulmate.......... One step away from stalking
    Widow................... Nagged first husband to death
    Young at heart.......... Toothless crone

    -------------------------------------------------------------------

    THE MALE SIDE OF THE LIST

    40-ish.................. 52 and looking for 25-yr-old
    Athletic................ Sits on the couch and watches ESPN
    Average looking......... Unusual hair growth on ears, nose, & back
    Educated................ Will always treat you like an idiot
    Free Spirit............. Sleeps with your sister
    Friendship first........ As long as friendship involves nudity
    Fun..................... Good with a remote and a six pack
    Good looking............ Arrogant
    Honest.................. Pathological Liar
    Huggable................ Overweight, more body hair than a bear
    Like to cuddle.......... Insecure, overly dependent
    Mature.................. Until you get to know him
    Open-minded............. Wants to sleep with your sister but she's
    not interested
    Physically fit.......... I spend a lot of time in front of mirror
    admiring myself
    Poet.................... Has written on a bathroom stall
    Spiritual............... Once went to church with his grandmother
    on Easter Sunday
    Stable.................. Occasional stalker, but never arrested
    Thoughtful.............. Says "Please" when demanding a beer



    Forty-two

  7. The proper use of the F____ word

    We all know that it isn't polite to use the F-word. However, there have been ten times in history where the "F" word has been acceptable for use:

    10. "What the f___ was that?" - Mayor Of Hiroshima, 1945
    9. "Look at all them f___ing Indians!" - Custer, 1877
    8. "Any f___ing idiot could understand that." - Einstein, 1938
    7. "It does so f___ing look like her!" - Picasso, 1926
    6. "How the f___ did you work that out?" - Pythagoras, 126 BC
    5. "You want WHAT on the f___ing ceiling?" - Michelangelo, 1566
    4. "Where the f___ are we?" - Amelia Earhart, 1937
    3. "Scattered f___ing showers....My ass!" - Noah, 4314 BC
    2. "Aw c'mon. Who the f___'s going to find out?"- Bill Clinton, 1999


    And Number 1 . . . drum roll please . . . .

    1. "Geez, I didn't think they'd get this f___ing mad." -Saddam Hussein, 2003



    Forty-two

  8. MARINE ENTRANCE EXAM
    Time Limit: 3 Weeks
    Name: _____________________________
    Signature: _____________________________


    1. What language is spoken in France?

    2. Give a dissertation on the ancient Babylonian Empire with particular reference to architecture, literature, law and social conditions -OR- give the first name of Pierre Trudeau.

    3. Would you ask William Shakespeare to? (check only one)
    ___ (a) build a bridge
    ___ (b) sail the ocean
    ___ (c) lead an army or
    ___ (D) WRITE A PLAY!!!!

    4. What religion is the Pope? (check only one)
    ___ (a) Jewish
    ___ (b) Catholic
    ___ (c) Hindu
    ___ (d) Polish
    ___ (e) Agnostic
    ___ (f) Muslim
    ___ (g) Irish
    ___ (h) Buddhist
    ___ (i) Protestant
    ___ (j) Italian
    ___ (k) Southern Baptist

    5. Metric conversion. How many feet is 0.0 meters?

    6. What time is it when the big hand is on the 12 and the little hand is on the 5?

    7. How many commandments was Moses given? (approximately)

    8. What are people in America's far north called? (check only one)
    ___ (a) Westerners
    ___ (b) Southerners
    ___ (c) Northerners

    9. Spell: Bush, Carter, and Clinton (please print)
    Bush : _________________________________________
    Carter : _________________________________________
    Clinton: _________________________________________

    10. Six kings of England have been called George, the last one being George the Sixth. Name the previous five:

    11. Where does rain come from? (check only one)
    ___ (a) Macy's
    ___ (b) a 7-11
    ___ (c) Canada
    ___ (d) the sky (clouds)

    12. Can you explain Einstein's Theory of Relativity? (check only one)
    ___ (a) yes
    ___ (b) no

    13. What are coat hangers used for?

    14. The Star Spangled Banner is the National Anthem for what country?

    15. Explain Le Chateliers Principle of Dynamic Equilibrium -OR- spell your name in BLOCK LETTERS (please print).

    16. Where is the basement in a three story building located?

    17. Which part of America produces the most oranges (check only one)?
    ___ (a) New York
    ___ (b) Florida
    ___ (c) Canada
    ___ (d) Wisconsin

    18. Basic Math. If you have three apples, how many apples do you have?

    19. What does NBC (National Broadcasting Corporation) stand for?

    20. The Cornell University tradition for efficiency began when (approximately)?
    ___ (a) B.C.
    ___ (b) A.D.

    21. What Does the NAVY do? (check only one)
    ___ (a) Sail the seven seas and play with inflatable dolls
    ___ (b) Haul Marines to various fight locations around the world!

    22. Who is the current President of the United States of America? (check only one)
    ___ (a) Usama bin Laden
    ___ (b) Jimmy Carter
    ___ (c) Ronald Reagan
    ___ (d) General George C, Patton
    ___ (e) Adolf Hitler
    ___ (f) GEORGE W. BUSH

    23. Where do most Marines receive their basic training? (check only one)
    ___ (a) The White House
    ___ (b) Camp David
    ___ (c) Disneyland
    ___ (d) Nixon's Library
    ___ (e) Watergate Hotel
    ___ (f) Santa's Lodge at the North Pole
    ___ (g) Parris Island South Carolina

    24. Joining the Marines is better than:
    ___ (a) Joining the Army, Air Force, Coast Guard, or Navy
    ___ (b) Having SEX

    25. You are in a Bar and someone insults the Marine Corp., YOU should:
    ___ (a) Go home immediately and tell your Mother
    ___ (b) Follow tradition and kick the crap out of them

    26. As a Marine you will be expected to:
    ___ (a) Die for your country
    ___ (b) Call your mommy when you get hurt

    27. There are three (3) branches to the United States Government, they are (check only one):
    ___ (a) Executive, Legislative, and Judicial
    ___ (b) Army, Navy, Marines
    ___ (c) White, Black, and Hispanic
    ___ (d) Protestant, Jewish, and Catholic

    28. D.I. stands for (check only one):
    ___ (a) Drill Instructor
    ___ (b) Dickwad Inventor
    ___ (c) Down In
    ___ (d) D-Day Invasion

    29. Advanced Math: You have one pound of Grapes. How many pounds of grapes do you have?

    30. My Sexual Preference Is:
    ___ (a) Heterosexual (straight as an arrow and true blue)
    ___ (b) Bi-Sexual (I do both males and females)
    ___ (c) Gay (queer as a 3-dollar bill and twice as horny)
    ___ (d) I am straight but willing to learn various butt fucking and blow
    job techniques.

    31. If I am masturbating, then I am:
    ___ Jerking Off
    ___ Playing with my Wang
    ___ Straightening My Pole
    ___ Flexing my lower muscles

    32. Shit Packing is for:
    ___ Queers
    ___ Babes who like it up the ass

    33. Underage Girls and Marines mean:
    ___ (a) Trouble
    ___ (b) Angry Fathers
    ___ (c) Shotgun Weddings
    ___ (d) Statutory Rape Charges unless your in the deep south
    ___ (e) All of the above

    34. There are only two things that come from Oklahoma, Steers and Queers:
    ___ I agree
    ___ I do not agree

    35. In war, I must (check as many as apply):
    ___ Kill the enemy, my creed will be one shot, one kill
    ___ Yell out, "Hey ya all want to surrender?"
    ___ Take NO Prisoners, kill them all, let God sort them out later


    Test Notations:
    * You must correctly answer five (5) or more questions to qualify.

    * If you are stuck on any questions, you may ask the monitor for help.

    * Cheating is not tolerated but may be overlooked if YOU currently have the body of Arnold Schwarzenegger when he won the Mr. Universe Contest.

    * If you brought your dog or horse with you, please don't bring it into the test room, tie it up outside.

    Important Test Note: We would appreciate it if you would NOT masturbate during the test.



    Forty-two

  9. EVERYTHING IS RELATIVE -- BY RANK
    The military has many unique ways of looking at problems. Many times, even though the personalities traits may be identical, they are always relative, by rank. The system seems to handle each one differently. However, the lower in rank you are, the clearer the problem becomes.

    BAD ATTITUDE
    THE COLONEL - Has his own way of doing things
    THE CAPTAIN - Has initiative
    THE SERGEANT - Often follows his own course
    THE CORPORAL - Is a discipline problem and never follows orders

    UNKEPT APPEARANCE
    THE COLONEL - Sets a different standard
    THE CAPTAIN - Requires improvement in dress and deportment
    THE SERGEANT - Is untidy
    THE CORPORAL - Is a scruffy bastard

    STRANGE DEMEANOR
    THE COLONEL - Has a unique perspective
    THE CAPTAIN - Is known to be eccentric
    THE SERGEANT - Tends to be slightly off track
    THE CORPORAL - Is a bloody flake

    LOW INTELLIGENCE
    THE COLONEL - Possess a different way of thinking
    THE CAPTAIN - Has problems with some concepts
    THE SERGEANT - Is a slow learner
    THE CORPORAL - Has the I.Q. of a garden slug

    DOMESTIC SITUATION
    THE COLONEL - Interacts well socially with the fairer gender
    THE CAPTAIN - Has many female friends
    THE SERGEANT - Has been seen in the company of other women
    THE CORPORAL - Screws around on his wife

    SEXUAL ORIENTATION
    THE COLONEL - Loves his men
    THE CAPTAIN - Has an alternative lifestyle
    THE SERGEANT - Has feminine qualities
    THE CORPORAL - Is a screaming, prancing fag

    SUITABLE PUNISHMENT
    THE COLONEL - A slight reprimand may be necessary if this happens again
    THE CAPTAIN - Requires disciplinary action
    THE SERGEANT - Should be punished
    THE CORPORAL - Should be thrown in a hole and buried alive

    AWOL
    THE COLONEL - Has taken an extended leave period
    THE CAPTAIN - Is on personal administration
    THE SERGEANT - Is not at work today
    THE CORPORAL - AWOL

    RANK IS FILLED BY A WOMAN
    THE COLONEL - Has worked hard and made her "sisters" proud
    THE CAPTAIN - Can do the same work as any man at her rank
    THE SERGEANT - Does well against the challenges her gender must face
    THE CORPORAL - Is probably a dyke



    Forty-two

  10. Actually a ballistics expert DID state the wound was from a .44.

    If you say so. We could argue about this all week. You have your opinion, others have theirs.


    Peace



    Forty-two

  11. Meant to say the prosecution said it came from a .44. My mistake. Yes, re-read. The transcripts say that the very own prosecutor's ballistic expert stated it came from a .44.

    Ok, now I REALLY am off for that beer. Peace gentlemen.



    Forty-two

  12. Actually the prosecutor's ballistic expert said it came from a .38. You are mistaken. GET OFF THAT BIASED WEBSITE B|

    Seriously, I am donr debating this. No sense. Take care.

    Peace



    Forty-two

  13. Actually Philly, the caliber shell used was iffy at best. They said the officer was shot with .45 cal shells...the accused had a .38. Like I said, you're reading a biased web site.

    Bottom line...who cares. The internet is hardly the place to find "facts", and certainly not a personal website in honor of the officer. He could have been shot with a 155mm Howitzer for all we know.

    Am I for or against letting him out? No opinion to be honest. I am just merely pointing out that one should not read a website and automatically assume what is on it is fact...court transcripts or not. Keep an open mind.

    With that it's time to hit the bars for some much anticipated beer, women and hopefully a brawl (I should be so lucky).



    Forty-two