tunaplanet

Who can answer all 5 questions first? 1) Name of Amelia Earhart's co-pilot on her final, tragic flight? 2) Name of the Secretary of Defense during the Kennedy administration? 3) Only Seattle Seahawk in the Hall of Fame? 4) What does the acronym LASER stand for? 5) Who was the original drummer for the Beatles? Forty-two

Well at least you served. That's make us brothers...well...step brothers I may talk tough about other branches, but I have nothing but respect for any fellow soldier...regardless of branch. Forty-two

Wow, I have been on a few message boards before. You get your standars types...those who think they know everything, claim to be things they aren't..... But this has got to be the worst as far as flaming goes. Never understood why people feel the need to flame everyone. Seriously, get a life. The Highway Patrol Officer was a moron on a power trip from the sound of it. What can I say...some people with low self esteem sometimes feel the need to talk down to people...in return making them feel better/more powerful. And trust me...law enforcement is FILLED with low self esteemed individuals. I know, I work with them. I do consulting to many SWAT and Tact units around the state. These men, as nice as some of them are, are for the most part insecure. Are all of them like that? Of course not. However, this is more the norm. The patrol officer is thankful he didn't get choke-slammed on the pavement. Have I ever assaulted an officer? Shamefully, yes. Did he deserve it? Hell yeah! Does it make it right? Of course not. I was in a bar in Virginia Beach. There was 3 off-duty cops in the bar. I was loud, but not rowdy. They came over to me, trying to intimidate me by stating they were cops. After seeing I was not impressed, one of them poked his finger against my chest stating I better lose my attitude. Wrong answer. I grabbed his throat and balls and tossed him against the bar. His buddies, like clock-work jumped in. Long story short...we all got banged up. In avoided jail time. I was however fined $1,500...500 for each cop. I paid it gladly. In short, lay off the flaming. Don't type just to see your own words. Relax. Let's try and be more polite and professional. Peace Forty-two

USMC = Uncle Sam's Misguided Children Forty-two

That's just the width Forty-two

All right Ivan, I'll stump you eventually...give me a second..... Forty-two

We'll chalk that one up under the "I have a 3 inch penis" car. Forty-two

You're so clever. Forty-two

If I was a comedian I would be homeless, begging families for spare change for bus fare (beer). Forty-two

My favorite was the Audi 90...yes a fellow teammate of mine did catch on fire. Forty-two

Who is the first person that can tell me what "mjolnir" is/was? See if we have any historians amongst us. Forty-two

Oh no...thought those homosexual naval gay references died out like disco did..... Forty-two

I try. Forty-two

The Top 10 Things You Don't Want To Hear From Technical Support 10. So, what are you wearing? 9. Bummer! Duuuuuuuude! 8. Looks like you're going to need some new dilythium crystals, Capt'n. 7. Press 1 for support. Press 2 if you want it today. Press 3 to buy the company. 6. We can fix this, but you're gonna need a butter knife, a roll of Duct Tape, and a car battery. 5. I'm sorry, Dave. I'm afraid I can't do that. 4. In layman's terms, it's kaput! 3. Hold on a second....MOM! Timmy's hitting me! 2. Okay, turn to page 463 in your copy of Dianetics. 1. Please hold for Mr. Gates' attorney. Things Not To Say to Police Officers: 1. Are you Andy or Barney? 2. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does. 3. I thought you had to be in good physical condition to be a police officer. 4. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in. 5. I pay your salary! 6. Aren't you the guy from the Village People? 7. Hey, you must've been doing' about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job! 8. You're not gonna check the trunk, are you? 9. Gee, Officer! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too! 10. I was trying to keep up with traffic. I know there are no other cars around. That's how far ahead of me they are. STATE SLOGANS Alabama: Yes, We Have Electricity Alaska: 11,623 Eskimos Can't Be Wrong! Arizona: But It's A Dry Heat Arkansas: Literacy Ain't Everything California: By 30, Our Women Have More Plastic Than Your Honda Colorado: If You Don't Ski, Don't Bother Connecticut: Like Massachusetts, Only The Kennedy's Don't Own It Yet Delaware: We Really Do Like The Chemicals In Our Water Florida: Ask Us About Our Grandkids Georgia: We Put The "Fun" In Fundamentalist Extremism Hawaii: Haka Tiki Mou Sha'ami Leeki Toru (Death To Mainland Scum, But Leave Your Money) Idaho: More Than Just Potatoes ... Well Okay, We're Not, But The Potatoes Sure Are Real Good Illinois: Please Don't Pronounce the "S" Indiana: 2 Billion Years Tidal Wave Free Iowa: We Do Amazing Things With Corn Kansas: First Of The Rectangle States Kentucky: Five Million People; Fifteen Last Names Louisiana: We're Not ALL Drunk Cajun Wackos, But That's Our Tourism Campaign Maine: We're Really Cold, But We Have Cheap Lobster Maryland: If You Can Dream It, We Can Tax It Massachusetts: Our Taxes Are Lower Than Sweden's (For Most Tax Brackets) Michigan: First Line Of Defense From The Canadians Minnesota: 10,000 Lakes ... And 10,000,000,000,000 Mosquitoes Mississippi: Come And Feel Better About Your Own State Missouri: Your Federal Flood Relief Tax Dollars At Work Montana: Land Of The Big Sky, The Unabomber, Right-Wing Crazies, And Very Little Else Nebraska: Ask About Our State Motto Contest Nevada: Whores and Poker! New Hampshire: Go Away And Leave Us Alone New Jersey: You Want A ##$%##! Motto? I Got Yer ##$%##! Motto Right Here! New Mexico: Lizards Make Excellent Pets New York: You Have The Right To Remain Silent, You Have The Right To An Attorney ... North Carolina: Tobacco Is A Vegetable North Dakota: We Really Are One Of The 50 States! Ohio: At Least We're Not Michigan Oklahoma: Like The Play, Only No Singing Oregon: Spotted Owl ... It's What's For Dinner Pennsylvania: Cook With Coal Rhode Island: We're Not REALLY An Island South Carolina: Remember The Civil War? We Didn't Actually Surrender South Dakota: Closer Than North Dakota Tennessee: The Educashun State Texas: Si' Hablo Ing'les (Yes, I Speak English) Utah: Our Jesus Is Better Than Your Jesus Vermont: Yep Virginia: Who Says Government Stiffs And Slackjaw Yokels Don't Mix? Washington: Help! We're Overrun By Nerds And Slackers! Washington, D.C.: Wanna Be Mayor? West Virginia: One Big Happy Family ... Really! Wisconsin: Come Cut The Cheese Wyoming: Where Men Are Men ... and the sheep are scared !!! Animals Have The Darndest Thoughts Dog: "They keep putting the lid down on the big water bowl." Goldfish: "Just because I have a three-second memory, they don't think I'll mind eating the same fish flakes ... Oh boy! Fish flakes!" Dog: "Man, why do they keep rubbing my nose in it? I already KNOW whose it is!" Goldfish: "The wimp-ass knight never comes out of the castle to fight me for dominion over the fish tank. So I must continue patrolling, for I am lord and master!" Parrot: "Tease, tease, tease! But do those greedy clowns ever really give me a cracker? HECK, no!" Dog: "Human legs that just tease." Cat: "Why are these people in my house?" Dog: "What the... HEY!!! Where are my balls?!?" Goldfish: "Oh, tap-tap-tap! There's a new one!" TOP 10 REASONS TO GO TO WORK NAKED (okay - 11) 11. No one ever steals your chair. 10. Gives "bad hair day" a whole new meaning. 9. Diverts attention from the fact that you also came to work drunk. 8. People stop stealing your pens after they've seen where you keep them. 7. So that -with a little help from Muzak you can add "Exotic Dancer" to your exaggerated resume. 6. You want to see if it's like the dream. 5. To stop those creepy guys in Marketing from looking down your blouse. 4. "I'd love to chip in, but I left my wallet in my pants." 3. Inventive way to finally meet that special person in Human Resources. 2. Can take advantage of computer monitor radiation to work on your tan. ... And (drum roll) the number one reason to Go To Work Naked: 1. Your boss is always yelling, "I wanna see your ass in here by 8:00!" Top 10 Things Not To Say To A Father When Picking Up His Daughter For A Date "Now.. show me how you used to spank her." "Do you think she would put out if I told her that I loved her?" "I just got my license today." "Five bucks says she's a D-cup." "You taught her to swallow, didn't you?" "So, does your wife just lay there during sex too?" "Hi. I'm Robert, but my friends call me 'Back Door Bob.'" "I believe being sexually active since I was 12 has helped me mature." "Please come inside? Wow, you sound just like your daughter." "I feel like we both have something in common, she calls ME daddy too!" THINGS NOT TO SAY TO YOUR PREGNANT WIFE 17. "I finished the Oreos" 16. "Not to imply anything, but I don't think the kid weighs 40 pounds." 15. "Y'know, looking at her, you'd never guess that Pamela Lee had a baby!" 14. "I sure hope your thighs aren't gonna stay that flabby forever!" 13. "Well, couldn't they induce labor? The 25th is the Super Bowl" 12. "Darned if you ain't about 5 pounds away from a surprize visit from that Richard Simmons fella. ' 11. "Fred at the office passed a stone the size of a pea. Boy, that's gotta hurt!" 10. "Whoa! For a minute there, I thought I woke up next to Willard Scott!" 9. "I'm jealous! Why can't men experience the joy of childbirth? 8. "Are your ankles supposed to look like that?" 7. "Get your *own* ice cream." 6. "Geez, you're awfully puffy looking today!" 5. "Got milk?" 4. "Maybe we should name the baby after my secretary, Tawney." 3. "Man! That rose tattoo on your hip is the size of Madagascar!" 2. "Retaining water? Yeah, like the Hoover Dam retains water." ... and finally ... 1. "You don't have the guts to pull the trigger....." Quick Driver Identification Here are some simple guidelines for helping you determine where a driver comes from: One hand on wheel, one hand on horn: CHICAGO One hand on wheel, one finger out window: NEW YORK One hand on wheel, one finger out window, cutting across all lanes of traffic: NEW JERSEY One hand on wheel, one hand on newspaper, foot solidly on accelerator: BOSTON One hand on wheel, one hand on nonfat double decaf cappuccino, cradling cell phone, brick on accelerator, gun in lap: LOS ANGELES Both hands on wheel, eyes shut, both feet on brake, quivering in terror: Ohio, but driving in CALIFORNIA Both hands in air, gesturing, both feet on accelerator, head turned to talk to someone in back seat: ITALY One hand on 12 oz. Double shot latte, one knee on wheel, cradling cell phone, foot on brake, mind on radio game, banging head on steering wheel while stuck in traffic: SEATTLE One hand on wheel, one hand on hunting rifle, alternating between both feet being on the accelerator and both feet on brake, throwing McDonald's bag out the window: TEXAS Four-wheel drive pick-up truck, shotgun mounted in rear window, beer cans on floor, squirrel tails attached to antenna: ALABAMA Two hands gripping wheel, blue hair barely visible above windshield, driving 35 on the Interstate in the left lane with the left blinker on: FLORIDA The Worlds Thinnest Books MY LIFE'S MEMORIES - by Ronald Reagan BEAUTY SECRETS - by Janet Reno HOME BUILT AIRPLANES - by John Denver HOW TO GET TO THE SUPER BOWL - by Dan Marino THINGS I LOVE ABOUT BILL - by Hillary Clinton WOMEN I HAVEN'T SEXUALLY HARASSED - by Bill Clinton THINGS I CAN'T AFFORD - by Bill Gates THINGS I WOULD NOT DO FOR MONEY - by Dennis Rodman THE WILD YEARS - by Al Gore AMELIA EARHART'S GUIDE TO THE PACIFIC OCEAN AMERICA'S MOST POPULAR LAWYERS DETROIT - A TRAVEL GUIDE DR. KEVORKIAN'S COLLECTION OF MOTIVATIONAL SPEECHES EVERYTHING MEN KNOW ABOUT WOMEN EVERYTHING WOMEN KNOW ABOUT MEN ALL THE MEN I'VE LOVED BEFORE - by Ellen DeGeneres MIKE TYSON'S GUIDE TO DATING ETIQUETTE SPOTTED OWL RECIPES-by the EPA THE AMISH PHONE DIRECTORY THE WORLD'S MOST TALENTED RAP MUSICIANS MY PLAN TO FIND THE REAL KILLERS - by O. J. Simpson TOP TEN THINGS THAT MEN UNDERSTAND ABOUT WOMEN 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. Ok, hope you enjoyed those. Man these beers are good. Mmmmmmm...beeeeeeeer..... Forty-two

WHAT YOUR CAR SAYS ABOUT YOU Acura Integra - I have always wanted to own the Buick of sports cars Acura Legend - I'm too bland for German cars Acura NSX - I am impotent Audi 90 - I enjoy putting out engine fires Buick Park Avenue - I am older than 34 of the 50 states Cadillac Eldorado - I am a very good Mary Kay salesman Cadillac Seville - I am a pimp Chevrolet Camaro - I enjoy beating the hell out of people Chevrolet Chevette - I like people's reactions when I tell them I have a 'Vette Chevrolet Corvette - I'm in a mid-life crisis Chevrolet El Camino - I am leading a militia to overthrow the government Chrysler Cordoba - I dig the rich Corinthian leather Datsun 280Z - I have a kilo of cocaine in my wheel well Dodge Dart - I teach third grade special education and I voted for Eisenhower Dodge Daytona - I delivered pizza for four years to get this car Ford Fairmont - (See Dodge Dart) Ford Mustang - I slow down to 85 in school zones Ford Crown Victoria - I enjoy having people slow to 55mph and change lanes when I pull up behind them Geo Storm - I will start the 11th grade in the fall Geo Tracker - I will start the 12th grade in the fall Honda del Sol - I have always said, half a convertible is better than no convertible at all Honda Civic - I have just graduated and have no credit Honda Accord - I lack any originality and am basically a lemming Infiniti Q45 - I am a physician with 17 malpractice suits pending Isuzu Impulse - I do not give a damn about J.D. Power or his reports Jaguar XJ6 - I am so rich I will pay 60K for a car that is in the shop 280 days per year Kia Sephia - I learned nothing from the failure of Daihatsu Corp Lincoln Town Car - I live for bingo and covered dish suppers Mercury Grand Marquis - (See above) Mazda Miata - I do not fear being decapitated by an eighteen-wheeler Mitsubishi Diamante - I don't know what it means either Oldsmobile Cutlass - I just stole this car and I'm going to make a fortune off the parts Peugeot 505 Diesel - I am on the EPA's Ten Most Wanted List Porsche 911 Turbo - I have a three inch thingie Porsche 944 - l am dating big haired women that otherwise would be inaccessible to me Saturn SC2 - (See Honda Civic) Subaru Legacy - I have always wanted a Japanese car even more inferior than the Isuzu Toyota Camry - I am still in the closet Volkswagon Beetle - I still watch Partridge Family reruns Volkswagon Cabriolet - I am out of the closet Volkswagon Microbus - I am tripping right now Forty-two

The Real Meaning Behind Personal Ad Abreviations Most people have at least once in their lives, read through the singles classified ads. Perhaps wondering what type of person is behind the ad. Maybe some of you have even answered some of them. Well for those of you that have tried to figure out what those descriptions really mean, one of our subscribers has done it for you! The real meaning behind the abbreviations in personal ads: FIRST THE ADS FROM WOMEN 40-ish.................. 48 Adventurer.............. Has had more partners than you ever will Athletic................ Flat-chested Average looking......... Ugly Beautiful............... Pathological liar Contagious Smile........ Bring your penicillin Educated................ College dropout Emotionally Secure...... Medicated Feminist................ Fat; ball buster Free spirit............. Substance user Friendship first........ Trying to live down reputation as slut Fun..................... Annoying Gentle.................. Comatose Good Listener........... Borderline Autistic New-Age................. All body hair, all the time Old-fashioned........... Lights out, missionary position only Open-minded............. Desperate Outgoing................ Loud Passionate.............. Loud Poet.................... Depressive Schzophrenic Professional............ Real Witch Redhead................. Shops the Clairol section Reubenesque............. Grossly Fat Romantic................ Looks better by candle light Voluptuous.............. Very Fat Weight proportional to height..................Hugely Fat Wants Soulmate.......... One step away from stalking Widow................... Nagged first husband to death Young at heart.......... Toothless crone ------------------------------------------------------------------- THE MALE SIDE OF THE LIST 40-ish.................. 52 and looking for 25-yr-old Athletic................ Sits on the couch and watches ESPN Average looking......... Unusual hair growth on ears, nose, & back Educated................ Will always treat you like an idiot Free Spirit............. Sleeps with your sister Friendship first........ As long as friendship involves nudity Fun..................... Good with a remote and a six pack Good looking............ Arrogant Honest.................. Pathological Liar Huggable................ Overweight, more body hair than a bear Like to cuddle.......... Insecure, overly dependent Mature.................. Until you get to know him Open-minded............. Wants to sleep with your sister but she's not interested Physically fit.......... I spend a lot of time in front of mirror admiring myself Poet.................... Has written on a bathroom stall Spiritual............... Once went to church with his grandmother on Easter Sunday Stable.................. Occasional stalker, but never arrested Thoughtful.............. Says "Please" when demanding a beer Forty-two

The proper use of the F____ word We all know that it isn't polite to use the F-word. However, there have been ten times in history where the "F" word has been acceptable for use: 10. "What the f___ was that?" - Mayor Of Hiroshima, 1945 9. "Look at all them f___ing Indians!" - Custer, 1877 8. "Any f___ing idiot could understand that." - Einstein, 1938 7. "It does so f___ing look like her!" - Picasso, 1926 6. "How the f___ did you work that out?" - Pythagoras, 126 BC 5. "You want WHAT on the f___ing ceiling?" - Michelangelo, 1566 4. "Where the f___ are we?" - Amelia Earhart, 1937 3. "Scattered f___ing showers....My ass!" - Noah, 4314 BC 2. "Aw c'mon. Who the f___'s going to find out?"- Bill Clinton, 1999 And Number 1 . . . drum roll please . . . . 1. "Geez, I didn't think they'd get this f___ing mad." -Saddam Hussein, 2003 Forty-two

MARINE ENTRANCE EXAM Time Limit: 3 Weeks Name: _____________________________ Signature: _____________________________ 1. What language is spoken in France? 2. Give a dissertation on the ancient Babylonian Empire with particular reference to architecture, literature, law and social conditions -OR- give the first name of Pierre Trudeau. 3. Would you ask William Shakespeare to? (check only one) ___ (a) build a bridge ___ (b) sail the ocean ___ (c) lead an army or ___ (D) WRITE A PLAY!!!! 4. What religion is the Pope? (check only one) ___ (a) Jewish ___ (b) Catholic ___ (c) Hindu ___ (d) Polish ___ (e) Agnostic ___ (f) Muslim ___ (g) Irish ___ (h) Buddhist ___ (i) Protestant ___ (j) Italian ___ (k) Southern Baptist 5. Metric conversion. How many feet is 0.0 meters? 6. What time is it when the big hand is on the 12 and the little hand is on the 5? 7. How many commandments was Moses given? (approximately) 8. What are people in America's far north called? (check only one) ___ (a) Westerners ___ (b) Southerners ___ (c) Northerners 9. Spell: Bush, Carter, and Clinton (please print) Bush : _________________________________________ Carter : _________________________________________ Clinton: _________________________________________ 10. Six kings of England have been called George, the last one being George the Sixth. Name the previous five: 11. Where does rain come from? (check only one) ___ (a) Macy's ___ (b) a 7-11 ___ (c) Canada ___ (d) the sky (clouds) 12. Can you explain Einstein's Theory of Relativity? (check only one) ___ (a) yes ___ (b) no 13. What are coat hangers used for? 14. The Star Spangled Banner is the National Anthem for what country? 15. Explain Le Chateliers Principle of Dynamic Equilibrium -OR- spell your name in BLOCK LETTERS (please print). 16. Where is the basement in a three story building located? 17. Which part of America produces the most oranges (check only one)? ___ (a) New York ___ (b) Florida ___ (c) Canada ___ (d) Wisconsin 18. Basic Math. If you have three apples, how many apples do you have? 19. What does NBC (National Broadcasting Corporation) stand for? 20. The Cornell University tradition for efficiency began when (approximately)? ___ (a) B.C. ___ (b) A.D. 21. What Does the NAVY do? (check only one) ___ (a) Sail the seven seas and play with inflatable dolls ___ (b) Haul Marines to various fight locations around the world! 22. Who is the current President of the United States of America? (check only one) ___ (a) Usama bin Laden ___ (b) Jimmy Carter ___ (c) Ronald Reagan ___ (d) General George C, Patton ___ (e) Adolf Hitler ___ (f) GEORGE W. BUSH 23. Where do most Marines receive their basic training? (check only one) ___ (a) The White House ___ (b) Camp David ___ (c) Disneyland ___ (d) Nixon's Library ___ (e) Watergate Hotel ___ (f) Santa's Lodge at the North Pole ___ (g) Parris Island South Carolina 24. Joining the Marines is better than: ___ (a) Joining the Army, Air Force, Coast Guard, or Navy ___ (b) Having SEX 25. You are in a Bar and someone insults the Marine Corp., YOU should: ___ (a) Go home immediately and tell your Mother ___ (b) Follow tradition and kick the crap out of them 26. As a Marine you will be expected to: ___ (a) Die for your country ___ (b) Call your mommy when you get hurt 27. There are three (3) branches to the United States Government, they are (check only one): ___ (a) Executive, Legislative, and Judicial ___ (b) Army, Navy, Marines ___ (c) White, Black, and Hispanic ___ (d) Protestant, Jewish, and Catholic 28. D.I. stands for (check only one): ___ (a) Drill Instructor ___ (b) Dickwad Inventor ___ (c) Down In ___ (d) D-Day Invasion 29. Advanced Math: You have one pound of Grapes. How many pounds of grapes do you have? 30. My Sexual Preference Is: ___ (a) Heterosexual (straight as an arrow and true blue) ___ (b) Bi-Sexual (I do both males and females) ___ (c) Gay (queer as a 3-dollar bill and twice as horny) ___ (d) I am straight but willing to learn various butt fucking and blow job techniques. 31. If I am masturbating, then I am: ___ Jerking Off ___ Playing with my Wang ___ Straightening My Pole ___ Flexing my lower muscles 32. Shit Packing is for: ___ Queers ___ Babes who like it up the ass 33. Underage Girls and Marines mean: ___ (a) Trouble ___ (b) Angry Fathers ___ (c) Shotgun Weddings ___ (d) Statutory Rape Charges unless your in the deep south ___ (e) All of the above 34. There are only two things that come from Oklahoma, Steers and Queers: ___ I agree ___ I do not agree 35. In war, I must (check as many as apply): ___ Kill the enemy, my creed will be one shot, one kill ___ Yell out, "Hey ya all want to surrender?" ___ Take NO Prisoners, kill them all, let God sort them out later Test Notations: * You must correctly answer five (5) or more questions to qualify. * If you are stuck on any questions, you may ask the monitor for help. * Cheating is not tolerated but may be overlooked if YOU currently have the body of Arnold Schwarzenegger when he won the Mr. Universe Contest. * If you brought your dog or horse with you, please don't bring it into the test room, tie it up outside. Important Test Note: We would appreciate it if you would NOT masturbate during the test. Forty-two

EVERYTHING IS RELATIVE -- BY RANK The military has many unique ways of looking at problems. Many times, even though the personalities traits may be identical, they are always relative, by rank. The system seems to handle each one differently. However, the lower in rank you are, the clearer the problem becomes. BAD ATTITUDE THE COLONEL - Has his own way of doing things THE CAPTAIN - Has initiative THE SERGEANT - Often follows his own course THE CORPORAL - Is a discipline problem and never follows orders UNKEPT APPEARANCE THE COLONEL - Sets a different standard THE CAPTAIN - Requires improvement in dress and deportment THE SERGEANT - Is untidy THE CORPORAL - Is a scruffy bastard STRANGE DEMEANOR THE COLONEL - Has a unique perspective THE CAPTAIN - Is known to be eccentric THE SERGEANT - Tends to be slightly off track THE CORPORAL - Is a bloody flake LOW INTELLIGENCE THE COLONEL - Possess a different way of thinking THE CAPTAIN - Has problems with some concepts THE SERGEANT - Is a slow learner THE CORPORAL - Has the I.Q. of a garden slug DOMESTIC SITUATION THE COLONEL - Interacts well socially with the fairer gender THE CAPTAIN - Has many female friends THE SERGEANT - Has been seen in the company of other women THE CORPORAL - Screws around on his wife SEXUAL ORIENTATION THE COLONEL - Loves his men THE CAPTAIN - Has an alternative lifestyle THE SERGEANT - Has feminine qualities THE CORPORAL - Is a screaming, prancing fag SUITABLE PUNISHMENT THE COLONEL - A slight reprimand may be necessary if this happens again THE CAPTAIN - Requires disciplinary action THE SERGEANT - Should be punished THE CORPORAL - Should be thrown in a hole and buried alive AWOL THE COLONEL - Has taken an extended leave period THE CAPTAIN - Is on personal administration THE SERGEANT - Is not at work today THE CORPORAL - AWOL RANK IS FILLED BY A WOMAN THE COLONEL - Has worked hard and made her "sisters" proud THE CAPTAIN - Can do the same work as any man at her rank THE SERGEANT - Does well against the challenges her gender must face THE CORPORAL - Is probably a dyke Forty-two

Actually a ballistics expert DID state the wound was from a .44. If you say so. We could argue about this all week. You have your opinion, others have theirs. Peace Forty-two

Meant to say the prosecution said it came from a .44. My mistake. Yes, re-read. The transcripts say that the very own prosecutor's ballistic expert stated it came from a .44. Ok, now I REALLY am off for that beer. Peace gentlemen. Forty-two

Actually the prosecutor's ballistic expert said it came from a .38. You are mistaken. GET OFF THAT BIASED WEBSITE Seriously, I am donr debating this. No sense. Take care. Peace Forty-two

Actually Philly, the caliber shell used was iffy at best. They said the officer was shot with .45 cal shells...the accused had a .38. Like I said, you're reading a biased web site. Bottom line...who cares. The internet is hardly the place to find "facts", and certainly not a personal website in honor of the officer. He could have been shot with a 155mm Howitzer for all we know. Am I for or against letting him out? No opinion to be honest. I am just merely pointing out that one should not read a website and automatically assume what is on it is fact...court transcripts or not. Keep an open mind. With that it's time to hit the bars for some much anticipated beer, women and hopefully a brawl (I should be so lucky). Forty-two

That website is not "facts", it's a biased page towards the victim. Just like there are biased webpages towards the accused. Forty-two

http://www.redzero.demon.co.uk/moonhoax/ Lol, not saying I believe it but it was fun to read. I love conspiracy theories. Forty-two