Nightingale
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Posts posted by Nightingale
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Love. That. Song. -
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You're missing the point, but I won't diverge the thread.
You did that already when you jumped all over Mark. You are missing my point. One can forgive without subjecting themselves to further abuse by remaining in the situation, and I've never met a Christian who claimed to be perfect. He can forgive or not. That's his business, and you have no idea what's in his heart. You're not being helpful to this thread. He was.
He was being helpful by stating he will never forgive his father? How is that helpful? My point is, don't bring stupid religioninto the equation when you yourself aren't following one of its main derivatives.
I was only pointing out the hypocracy in the statement, trust me though, IMO MOST Christians are the biggest hypocrites out there.
Actually, that isn't what he said. He said "If he made a sincere gesture of contrition, I would of course accept it,..." but that, after being burned so many times, doesn't feel that that sincere gesture is ever going to come (but would, apparently, still be open to it on the off chance it might happen).
He was being helpful by explaining his own experience, sharing that he's tried to reconcile multiple times, and that it hasn't worked out, so he's given up and moved on. Recognizing that there's nothing you can do to fix someone else and that the healthiest thing you can do is give up and get out is a very valid way of dealing with a situation.
And, sorry, I don't trust some random person on the internet who is spewing judgment and making generalizations of 2.1 billion people. -
QuoteQuoteInteresting Outdoors Column
So firearms and archery are being used to teach youth discipline, control, and respect. And then we have NY legislators and the governor doing their best to show disrespect to their constituents.
Education is most always better than legislation.
Which is why it is important that EVERY one of us gun owners do our part to educate (both ourselves and others!). Personally, I make it my goal to take at least a few people who have never handled a firearm to the range every year, preferably women. Even if they never shoot again, the next time an anti-gun law or candidate shows up on the ballot, they're going to remember the time they went shooting and had fun, and that guns aren't these big, scary, mysterious, threatening things that just randomly kill people. -
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Edit: Two states, Alaska and Vermont, I believe, do not require a permit at all.
and recently added was Arizona I believe.
Yes... and no...
"The key element in the new law is that a concealed carry permit is not necessary “unless required by any other law”. For example, to carry a concealed firearm in a restaurant, Arizona law requires that you have a concealed weapons permit. Similarly, federal law requires a state issued permit if you wish to carry concealed in a national park. Anyone wishing to carry a concealed firearm in another state will need an Arizona CCW permit in order to have reciprocal privileges outside of Arizona."
-AZccwpermit.com
So, according to the above website, yes, you can carry without a permit in some places in Arizona, but your life is a lot easier if you have one, and it's easy to get one. According to friends of mine who visit there, the restaurant thing can be a pain in the ass. -
QuoteSo...I was thinking...if I were to try the long term relationship thing again...what do I want? Should I put it in writing?
As a lawyer, I wouldn't get married without a prenup, but not for the reasons people would think... mainly to protect the person I care about from what I could do to them if I got really, really pissed!
edited to add: though I've never been married, I have learned that I will NEVER AGAIN let a MAN talk me into cutting my hair!!!!
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You're missing the point, but I won't diverge the thread.
You did that already when you jumped all over Mark. You are missing my point. One can forgive without subjecting themselves to further abuse by remaining in the situation, and I've never met a Christian who claimed to be perfect. He can forgive or not. That's his business, and you have no idea what's in his heart. You're not being helpful to this thread. He was. -
QuoteQuoteThere are many people in California who can carry a gun on school grounds. As of 2007, there were over 40,000 civilians (not law enforcement or retired law enforcement) who could do so legally. This guy wasn't one of them.
And, I am not in the least surprised that it was not one of these 40,000 people, because those people follow the law. This guy was a criminal, who broke the law...because that's what criminals do.
Yeah, more laws, more hoops for those 40,000 and all the other law abiding folks to jump through are going to do a whole lot of good, when what the guy did was ALREADY something he was not legally allowed to do.
sigh...
On what grounds can a person carry a concealed weapon? Just curious, because in good olde England we cannot even carry a concealed pea-shooter without risk of arrest!
In most states here, you simply apply and pass a background check. In California, it's at the whim of the county sheriff (in addition to the background check), depending on what they consider "good cause". In some counties, you just say "I want to carry a concealed weapon for personal protection." And in other counties, you pretty much can't unless you're a prosecutor, judge, or celebrity (Los Angeles). You can get more information about California at www.calccw.com
Edit: Two states, Alaska and Vermont, I believe, do not require a permit at all. -
There are many people in California who can carry a gun on school grounds. As of 2007, there were over 40,000 civilians (not law enforcement or retired law enforcement) who could do so legally. This guy wasn't one of them.
And, I am not in the least surprised that it was not one of these 40,000 people, because those people follow the law. This guy was a criminal, who broke the law...because that's what criminals do.
Yeah, more laws, more hoops for those 40,000 and all the other law abiding folks to jump through are going to do a whole lot of good, when what the guy did was ALREADY something he was not legally allowed to do.
sigh... -
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My dad will see the gates of hell itself before he ever sees me again. He had his last chance a few years ago, but blew it. I know how it feels to be rejected like that. I regret his pain, but not my decision.
So much for forgivness. This is spoken like a true hypocritical born again Christian. pffffff what a joke.
Get over yourself. It is perfectly okay to decide that someone is too toxic to be in your life. Mark obviously regrets having to cut someone out of his life and cause that kind of pain to someone, but sometimes it's necessary for your own health when someone refuses to get help.
Sometimes part of acknowledging that you can't control someone else's actions is acknowledging that you don't have to stand around and watch and let them hurt you either. -
Yes, my insurance will cover me. For damn near everything. Including skydiving accidents.
I have a chronic health problem. I could be making a lot more money working somewhere else, but I get a lot of benefits working where I do, and awesome health insurance is one. In fact, I chose my employer based largely on the health coverage, because I knew I needed it. I don't regret that decision for a second.
It costs me:
$10 to see a doctor, specialists included.
$5-$10 for a prescription, sometimes nothing at all.
$50 for the ER.
$100 if I'm admitted to the hospital.
I have only had a treatment ever declined once, and that was when it really was experimental and not FDA approved to treat what I had, and nobody would've covered it. Three days after the FDA approved it, I got a letter from the insurance company saying they'd pay.
If something is FDA approved but not the health plan's preferred drug or treatment, my doc writes a letter, and it's covered.
One of the nice things about working for local government... most of the time even the janitors and secretaries have the same health insurance as the city council. Sick people aren't productive, so the investment is worth it. -
Having worked on both the prosecution side and the defense side in the criminal justice system, and having been a teacher and worked with children, I don't think anyone under 16 should ever be tried as an adult. Kids just don't process consequences like adults do.
That said, there needs to be better provisions for keeping someone incarcerated longer if they age out of the juvenile system and could still be a danger to society, and following juveniles who have been incarcerated long-term with support and psychiatric evaluations rather than just releasing them to learn how to cope as an adult in a world they left as a child. -
You can't control him. You can control you.
This might be a place to start:
http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/ -
I agree with his ultimate conclusion (that it's okay for a woman to be anti-abortion with regards to her own body, but not dictate others choices), but find the reasoning as to how he got there utterly baffling.
A fetus is obviously human. Run a DNA test if you're in doubt, and honestly, what else would it be? If you're going to get into the philosophy of what makes us human, are you then going to argue that people with brain injuries are no longer human if their injuries interfere with higher thought processes? That makes no sense at all.
And the vegetarian thing doesn't make any sense either. You might as well say "if you oppose killing animals, you should oppose killing plants, because plants are alive too!" Comparing being anti-abortion to being vegetarian isn't just comparing apples and oranges, it's making a fruit salad.
Ultimately, none of those arguments are even relevant. Even if the fetus is human (it is), even if it's alive (it is), even if the heart is beating (it is), and even if it has brain waves (probably after about 12 weeks) and can feel pain (probably after 20ish weeks), it doesn't matter. As long as it's inside another person, that other person has the right to say it can't be there anymore. Her rights are greater than the baby's rights. Period.
If you are against abortion, don't have one, and don't have sex with someone who would have one. Have a frank discussion with your kids about why you don't want them having sex, but let them know that if there is an unplanned pregnancy that you will support them 100% whether they decide to raise the child or give it to someone else to raise, and that they will be free to make that decision. -
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Very pro-life.......there, I said it
As am I, in my own life, but like I said above, I'm not going to force someone else into making the same decision I would. Abortion was legal when I was born. My birth mom chose to have me, and I'm glad she did, but I wouldn't have wanted her to be forced to continue a pregnancy if she didn't want to. There are still many women who choose adoption even with abortions being available. -
QuoteQuoteWhen he emailed me, the places he was suggesting to go were all a couple hundred bucks. Completely freaked me out, and I never called him even though one of the places he suggested is probably my favorite restaurant (he doesn't know that). Places like that are for a special occasion.
Since you knew this guy previously, you may have known better, but if he was a 'stranger' to you, isn't there the chance that those are the restaurants he goes to all the time anyway?
I know it's a tough call to make because some guys will go all out to try and impress a woman, and sometimes that creates hard feelings if things don't 'work out' between the two of you. I can see how you would want to avoid that situation, but be open to the idea that the guy regularly eats as those types of places, and is just asking you out to 'dinner'.
I know for sure that they're not places he goes to regularly. Even if he did, though, it's not something I would be comfortable with for a first date. -
QuoteQuoteQuoteTry being adopted. Then take a stance on abortion.
I am adopted.
My post wasn't a direct response to you, apologies if it looked like that. But now I know you share my viewpoint (hopefully)
I made my view pretty clear above, and I know other adoptees that are all over the map with regards to abortion views, so I'm not sure what your viewpoint is. -
QuoteTry being adopted. Then take a stance on abortion.
I am adopted. -
QuoteQuoteQuoteDavjohns I'm liking you more and more the way you respond to these things.
In answer to the question by the OP:
Keep in mind that I play these things conservatively, but as a woman, the more a man tries to spend on me early on the less likely he is to get it anytime soon. So, pool, some beers, and trashy food at a diner at 2 am and everything else is clicking there's definitely a good night kiss in the picture. Show up at the door with a dozen roses and take me to Morton's and I'll spend the night wondering who you think you asked out and why you're trying so hard. Not that I don't like Morton's, just that no one should be trying that hard on a first date and I don't like it when I feel like some guy is trying to "buy me".
Admittedly, I'm weird and not normal.
Yeah, totally agree.
A while ago, I ran into a guy who was an acquaintance a few years ago. We started chatting, he asked me out, details to be worked out later. When he emailed me, the places he was suggesting to go were all a couple hundred bucks. Completely freaked me out, and I never called him even though one of the places he suggested is probably my favorite restaurant (he doesn't know that). Places like that are for a special occasion. For a first date, coffee and maybe a movie would've been awesome. Admittedly, I probably handled the situation poorly, though.
So I'm curious. If you had gone to one of those fancy restaurants he suggested do you think he would have expected you to play hide the sausage with him afterwards?
No idea. It had been years since I'd seen him and I didn't know him all that well before, so I can't really say what his expectations would have been. I can say for sure that when someone asks me to dinner for a first date that my expectations are...dinner.
Regardless, I would have been very uncomfortable with him spending that much money on me, which is why I avoided the situation. -
QuoteQuoteI think the motives for abortion are far more often fear and incapacity
It's certainly hard to determine the thought process of a woman in such a difficult position. All we can do is influence the outcome.
Influence, of course. Mandate, absolutely not. -
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Maybe if more people showed love and support to pregnant women, they wouldn't feel like they'd have to make such a terrible decision that should really be last resort.
Of course it should be a last resort, but my point is that it should be there as a last resort, because when it wasn't, the last resort was a back-alley butcher with a coat hanger, or finding a doctor who risked being arrested to perform the procedure safely. While a legal abortion isn't a good option, those are worse.
And ultimately, I don't want anyone telling a twelve year old child that she has to have her rapists baby. That decision should be hers, her parents' and her doctors, and nobody elses. And once you start making exceptions for rape, then you're encouraging women to lie to get an abortion, and I don't like any law that actively encourages filing a false police report. -
QuoteQuoteIt seems that your definition of options means have a baby or have a baby.
I'm actually a little more reasonable than that.
She can take responsibility for her actions and raise the child or she can give the child away to a family where it will be appreciated and loved - just as it should be.
I understand there are varying circumstances and different reasons for having an abortion but my primary view of abortion has been formed by a dear freind of mine that has had 5 abortions simple because she is irresponsible and does not give a shit about anyone.
What Bill said.
And first off, you're making the assumption that it was her actions that got her into the situation. Sure, that's the case for most, but certainly not all. In addition, there are some abortions performed on women who very much want their children, but their health will not allow them to safely have a baby, or the fetus is simply not viable (anencephaly or the like).
Frankly, your friend is an idiot. -
QuoteDavjohns I'm liking you more and more the way you respond to these things.
In answer to the question by the OP:
Keep in mind that I play these things conservatively, but as a woman, the more a man tries to spend on me early on the less likely he is to get it anytime soon. So, pool, some beers, and trashy food at a diner at 2 am and everything else is clicking there's definitely a good night kiss in the picture. Show up at the door with a dozen roses and take me to Morton's and I'll spend the night wondering who you think you asked out and why you're trying so hard. Not that I don't like Morton's, just that no one should be trying that hard on a first date and I don't like it when I feel like some guy is trying to "buy me".
Admittedly, I'm weird and not normal.
Yeah, totally agree.
A while ago, I ran into a guy who was an acquaintance a few years ago. We started chatting, he asked me out, details to be worked out later. When he emailed me, the places he was suggesting to go were all a couple hundred bucks. Completely freaked me out, and I never called him even though one of the places he suggested is probably my favorite restaurant (he doesn't know that). Places like that are for a special occasion. For a first date, coffee and maybe a movie would've been awesome. Admittedly, I probably handled the situation poorly, though. -
QuoteQuoteQuoteQuoteQuoteQuoteI also believe that the legal rights of the mother trump the legal rights of the child that is physically dependent on the mother.
A child is physically dependant on it's mother even after birth, but that doesn't trump the childs right to life.
No, a child is physically dependent on SOMEONE after birth. That could be any other human, not necessarily it's biological mother. That's the difference.
But the rights of that person do not trump the childs right to life. Why should the difference matter?
Because that person has options if they cannot care for the child. Before birth, there are no options.
I certainly respect your position and I don't mean to be difficult, but the mother does have options.
It seems that your definition of options means have a baby or have a baby.
After a child is born, it can be handed to someone else to care for. Before, the only person who can care for it is the biological mother. If she can't or won't, that should be up to her. If there comes a time where we can give an unborn child to someone else to care for, or use technology to provide other options, then I would change my opinion. But until then, I'm not saying that it's not a baby, that it's not human, or that it's not alive. Just that as long as it's inside her, her rights trump the child's. -
QuoteQuoteQuoteQuoteI also believe that the legal rights of the mother trump the legal rights of the child that is physically dependent on the mother.
A child is physically dependant on it's mother even after birth, but that doesn't trump the childs right to life.
No, a child is physically dependent on SOMEONE after birth. That could be any other human, not necessarily it's biological mother. That's the difference.
But the rights of that person do not trump the childs right to life. Why should the difference matter?
Because that person has options if they cannot care for the child. Before birth, there are no options.
you would rather have....
in The Bonfire
I'm going to go with "none of the above." and add "a case of ammunition" to the list as my plans for V-day involve four beautiful women, six handguns and a shooting range.
I should probably also add "excellent bottle of wine" to the list, as our post-range plans involve cabernet, Casablanca, and cleaning guns.