Bolas

Doin some drunk posting? I'm jealous. Edited to add: I'll post to your thread if you post to mine...

My SWAG's (Scientific Wild Ass Guesses) 1. New York on the hudson 2. New Mexico ? 3. The third world (Yorkshire, England) 4. Sisteen chapel (you never hear about the other fifteen though) Stupidity if left untreated is self-correcting If ya can't be good, look good, if that fails, make 'em laugh.

Unfortunatley I do. Usually at this hour I'm either drunk or sleeping, but I am stuck at work right now and don't get off for two more hours (damn Patriot Act). Anybody out there? I assume (hope) I'm the only sober one. Stupidity if left untreated is self-correcting If ya can't be good, look good, if that fails, make 'em laugh.

Actually no, I've just seen enough of these in newspapers (It's amazing how much time you can waste reading classifieds when bored) What abbreviations people use to save $.03 is amazing. It's like a whole other language, kind of like military acronyms.

Utter disbelief I could be so "cruel" Stupidity if left untreated is self-correcting If ya can't be good, look good, if that fails, make 'em laugh.

So you have met her.

HEY!!!!! I REPRESENT THAT ACCUSATION!!! Not all of us are raging alcoholics! Some are still in rehab... Stupidity if left untreated is self-correcting If ya can't be good, look good, if that fails, make 'em laugh.

That's a hard question to answer. The biggest determining factors are speed and position at deployment and the pack job itself. I can pack my Sabre to have a 1000 ft or more opening or I can roll the tail a few less times and sorten that up. Stupidity if left untreated is self-correcting If ya can't be good, look good, if that fails, make 'em laugh.

Added a little "polish" to the first story. Blue type Stupidity if left untreated is self-correcting If ya can't be good, look good, if that fails, make 'em laugh.

My mom has a pretty good sense of humor, but my dad doesn't really. That's what makes it more fun Stupidity if left untreated is self-correcting If ya can't be good, look good, if that fails, make 'em laugh.

SWM 29, seeks SWF 18-30. NS NR NPM NK NC NP NB M:36-24-36 B:

Post some picks of your new rig so we all can drool... Stupidity if left untreated is self-correcting If ya can't be good, look good, if that fails, make 'em laugh.

A pimp and ho party at the office? Damn!!! I want to work there... Where is that? What company? Are they hiring? Stupidity if left untreated is self-correcting If ya can't be good, look good, if that fails, make 'em laugh.

(long post, why use 1 word when 30 will do? Blame this on years of having to write IT documentation for managers) I thought these were both funny and deserved but some might see these as mean 1. Went to Ozzfest in D.C. with some whuffo friends (that I see less than 5 times a year) We stop at Cracker Barrell to load up on food. After we eat I go to the bathroom and when I get out they left me with the check. [Payback mode] I pay the check, they even wrote "Thanks Randy" on the bill. We get in our separate cars (I'm going to the Orange Boogie after) and go the the show. When we get there: Me: (sincerely) Thanks for the food Whuffos: (sarcastically) Anytime M: No, seriously, it was cool you picked up the check guys, not that you had a choice. W: (weird look) Huh? M: Yeah, I just left right from the bathroom, thanks for getting the check. W: (Concerned) You did what? We left the check for you. M: (laughing) I left it for you guys. We just dined and dashed!!! W: Oh shit!!! Didn't mean to do that. M: Oh well, can't go back there... Glad we didn't use my name on the waiting list I even offered to give them my "portion" that they could take by "to clear their conscience" since it was on their way back home. They didn't take me up on that, too bad. I don't know what would have been funnier, them, trying to explain to Cracker Barrell that they just left without paying or the employees telling them they had. I might tell them when I see them at Christmas... NAH!!!!!! 2. My parents have been without power since last Thursday thanks to that bitch Isabel. They live on a small street with above ground lines with two subdivisions on each side with underground power. The sudivisions got power back Saturday, they still have lines down all over the place and the best estimate is next Friday for them to get power. They called me Wednesday night and asked if they could stay with me for 4-5 days, I tell them no problem and they tell me they are coming Friday. They call me last night and tell me they are on the way they couldn't wait to get electricity. No big deal, but they are coming early... [Prank mode] Just before the time they show up I turn off all the lights and flip the breakers off. When I see the car coming out the driveway I greet them with a flashlight and a hug... Me: (sincerely) Hey, you made it. Parents: How come your outside light isn't on, is it burned out? M: Yeah, burned out, uhh... P: What's going on? None of your other lights are on but the other apartments have power. M: Uhhh.... You know how I told you I was broke? Backstory P: (concerned look) Yeah... M: Well, they cut off my power because the check didn't overdraft right and bounced. P: (Shocked) What? M: Not a big deal, I just have to go there tomorrow and pay them and they'll cut it back on. P: (angry) Why didn't you tell us? M: It just happened half an hour ago. At this point my mom just sat back down in her car and covered her head with her hands while my dad screamed "We drove 4 1/2 hours and now you don't have power?!?!?!" Since the fish had been hooked, reeled in and sitting in the boat, I yelled "Psyche!!!" and went in and flipped the breakers (I really thought one of them would come in and try flicking the light in disbelief ) and turned on the lights. Both of these cases were justified Right? edited to add the blue type, hopefully making the first story funnier Stupidity if left untreated is self-correcting If ya can't be good, look good, if that fails, make 'em laugh.

In North Carolina you pay property tax on everything: I had to pay it for my truck, trailer, and my dog (finally written proof I can show her that I own her, not the other way around) I'm no lanlord but if I owned the place I lived in I'd be a slumlord.

[whining] It took almost three years but this sport has finally done it. I'm in the red. And I don't mean the debt from my truck or trailer, or even my rig (I put that on a 0 APR credit card.) I'm talking my overdraft protection was the only thing that stopped my checks from bouncing like a 180 toggle turn at 50 ft. So, needless to say, (Then why say it ) I can't jump this weekend. It sucks when your property tax, car insurance, and renters insurance all come due at the same time. I was even demoing and thinking about buying a Big Air Sportz Lotus 190 just last week. [/whining] The good news is I can jump next weekend since it's after payday!!!

Yup started with the recorder in elementary school (I can still play "Mary had a Little Lamb" to this day... Started playing the tuba in 6th grade. I actually was in the high school marching band while still in middle school (they needed tubas bad). I was so uncoordinated (some things don't change ) that I couldn't play and march at the same time so I sat on the sideline in a chair) I was in all County band every year, all regional band every year, and I made first alternate for all state my senior year. I even owned my own tuba, it was worth more than my first car ('82 Chevette Scooter... not even close ) The most fun I had in band was at Virginia Tech in the Marching Virginians. I was part of the tuba line (there were about 30 of us). It was like a fraternity without the dues (kind of like DZ's)... binge drinking, wild parties, slip and slides, etc. I sold the tuba about 9 years ago to buy a PC. I keep telling myself someday I'll get back in it, but this sport is taking all my time and money currently. Stupidity if left untreated is self-correcting If ya can't be good, look good, if that fails, make 'em laugh.

Ah... the days of config.sys and autoexec.bat. loadhigh devicehigh. EMM386, XMS no EMS. I remember when DOS (6) came with memmaker. Finally you could get the 600k of base memory needed to run your favorite games. I used to work at a software store and once a month I'd have someone come in and want to buy memory and when I asked what type they needed they would say EMS or XMS.

Yes there would be protests...by the PC police Why only bilingual? That's discriminating against Chinese, German, French, etc... Why only official languages? That's discriminating against Ebonics, Klingon, Dark Elf, etc... Why use words? That's discriminating against the illiterate... Why use pictures? That's discriminating against the blind... After all this one simple STOP sign would be the size of a billboard in multiple colors and even then the words would be so small you couldn't read them anyway... Why can't everyone just learn Esperanto? Stupidity if left untreated is self-correcting If ya can't be good, look good, if that fails, make 'em laugh.

If you go to Orange, VA. You can jump with a big monkey. He's only done 1 tandem so far but with the encouragement of a fellow "soft substance filled fabric covered person" he might get off his monkey ass and get his license. There's also a teddy bear that did 7 tandem jumps with a "legend", including a few head down. He has his own freefly suit and a log book. Stupidity if left untreated is self-correcting If ya can't be good, look good, if that fails, make 'em laugh.

I have!!! It was awesome. To think it was all done in assembler. The only that sucked was you had to reboot your PC afterwards. Stupidity if left untreated is self-correcting If ya can't be good, look good, if that fails, make 'em laugh.

The Jerk Why, you lazy-ass bully! Any asshole can pull a gun on somebody! You do not know the first thing about stealing a car! Boy, you need a role model! Funniest scene in the movie... Stupidity if left untreated is self-correcting If ya can't be good, look good, if that fails, make 'em laugh.

You sonofabitch. I knew you couldn't hack it in the office/cubical/politics/NoVA world.

I know a guy who walked into a friends trailer between loads and said "Cool, brownies" and ate 3 or 4. The brownie baker came back looked at him, told him to sit down, relax, and listen to Phish, he was gonna be there a while. His comment the next day "Have you ever seen me bake anything... ever?" Moral of the story: Only eat brownies or cookies after the sunset load, if you find them before steal them and hide them for later. Stupidity if left untreated is self-correcting If ya can't be good, look good, if that fails, make 'em laugh.

Credit cards are great for first jumpers. They go out to a DZ jump all weekend and on Monday report it stolen... What is a drop zone? Skydiving? Why the hell would I do that? We'd pretend we never saw em before. No, some other dude, don't remember the name. We get lots of people, no, they took the video, no the videographers don't keep copies of the video... Stupidity if left untreated is self-correcting If ya can't be good, look good, if that fails, make 'em laugh.