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Everything posted by muff528

  1. Montreal really did a good job shutting down the Bolt's power play. (Lightning were missing a key forward, though.) Boat parade in the Hillsborough River in a couple of days. Maybe they'll toss the Cup around between boats. The Stanley Cup twitter account just about dared Tom Brady to throw it.
  2. Different things to different folks, but most of the time it was something like, "Don't forget to pull your chute-rope !!" One thing I don't say is, "Break a leg !"
  3. Bees never use commercial toilet paper. Too rough, and it snags their stingers. I think most bees work from home anyway, so when the hoarders start hoarding they'll get it all.
  4. I'm not gonna worry about the murder hornets until the honeybees start buying up all the toilet paper.
  5. muff528

    Open mic fun

    That would be a great thread.
  6. With the old site I could see a list of topics to which I made a comment ..most recent activity to oldest. Not topics I started and not a list of my posts, both of which are accessible now. I referred to that list often and sometimes I made a random comment in an interesting topic just so it would appear in that list. It was fairly easy to search for, and find, what I was looking for. Don't know if that would be useful enough to anyone else. Also, wolfriverjoe's suggestion about referring to post numbers was useful, as was showing the quotes and to whom within a thread that someone was responding. That made following a thread more coherent. Oh, and the thing about the older pics/attachments, too.
  7. I begged Mike to let me do a couple of intentional cutaways when he was testing the Dolphin at Zhills. He said I didn't have enough experience to be a test jumper. Looking back, he was probably right. Always a great guy. Blue Skies, Mike.
  8. Sorry if this is recycled here ...... A guy was driving around the back woods of Tennessee and he saw a sign in front of a broken down shanty-style house: "Talking Dog for Sale." He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard. The guy goes into the back yard and sees a nice looking Beagle sitting there. "You talk?" he asks. "Yep," the Beagle replies. After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he says "So, what's your story?" The Beagle looks up and says, "Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA and they had me sworn into the best branch of the armed services...the United States Air Force. In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders; because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping. I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running, but the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger. So, I decided to settle down. I retired from the USAF (8 dog years is 56 Corps years) and signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals. I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired." The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog. "Ten dollars," the guy says. "Ten dollars? This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?" "Because he's such a bullshitter ... He never did any of that shit. He was in the Navy!"
  9. Maybe, if they further analyze the seal poop for any stray DNA, they could identify the owner's next of kin.
  10. Today is the first day of the year of the pig. I'm sure it'll take a couple of months before I stop writing "dog" on checks by mistake.
  11. I liked the former feature that had all the threads in which I had a comment listed in order of most recent activity (by anyone). Sometimes, I posted in a thread just so it would appear in that list. Easy to scroll through the topics and find what I was looking for. I actually used that a lot. I do see the "see my activity" button under my profile, but that's not the same.
  12. I think it's impossible to book more than 1 jump for your first time.
  13. Don't you know it! I flipped a 1969 Chevy Kingswood station wagon. Hydroplaned on a long curve in a driving rain. I negotiated the car back onto the roadway but it kept drifting across the lanes into the median. The car turned sideways and slid for a bit until the left side tires "caught" the dirt and it flipped, landing back on its wheels. The windshield shattered in slow motion as I watched it shatter across from the top, right side toward the driver side. Never forget it. I ended up with a large, rolled up tent on my shoulder wedged between me and the window. Never wore a seat belt before that day (1975). Never willingly rode in a car without one since. Same thing when I flipped a race boat. Happened in an instant but seemed like slow motion while it was happening. Glad you're OK, Keith. You ARE OK, aren't you?
  14. Maybe these folks heard the stories of Columbus, Cortes, the Mayflower and the first Thanksgiving ...and how history played out in North America..., and decided that wasn't for them.
  15. After finishing his sermon, the preacher announced that a member of the congregation would play the piccolo for everyone. After the piccolo player played for a few minutes, someone yelled out, "The piccolo player's a motherfucker!". The preacher jumped up and said, "Stop the music! ..Will the person who called the piccolo player a motherfucker please stand up!" No one stands. After a few seconds he says, "Will the person who is sitting next to the person who called the piccolo player a motherfucker please stand up!" Again, no one stands. Then the preacher says, "Will the person who is sitting next to the person who is sitting next to the person who called the piccolo player a motherfucker please stand up!" Again, no joy. Finally, a fellow stands. "Now we're getting somewhere!" says the preacher. "Are you the person who called the piccolo player a motherfucker?". "No, I'm not" says the fellow. "Are you the person who is sitting next to the person who called the piccolo player a motherfucker?". "Nope!" was the answer. "Then are you the person who is sitting next to the person who is sitting next to the person who called the piccolo player a motherfucker?" "Un-uh!". "Then WTF are you standing for?", asked the preacher in frustration. "Well, I'm not the person who called the piccolo player a motherfucker, or the person sitting next to him, or the person sitting next to him. What I want to know is who called that motherfucker a piccolo player!"
  16. Revival was going great and the tent was rocking. Members of congregation were canvassing the neighborhood bringing in new souls as fast as they could go. Even the local hooker was talked into coming inside. A bit later a fellow was leaving a nearby bar and stumbled by the tent. He was brought inside and was given a seat in one of the folding chairs. As the revival reached a fever pitch, the hooker stood up, threw her hands into the air and cried, "Yesterday I was in the clutches of the Devil, but tonight I'm in the arms of the Lord !!" The drunk jumped up and yelled, "So, what are you doing tomorrow !?"
  17. In Search of the Lost Chord - Moody Blues Maybe one or two Dylan albums.
  18. Thick as a Brick - Jethro Tull Tommy - The Who Blows Against the Empire - Starship Desparado - Eagles name a few off the top of my head.
  19. ewwww! WARNING --link contains a partially-pixelated photo of a fake dead person with rigor mortis. (face is not pixelated -- they're not trying very hard to hide her identity.)
  20. These guys giving bikers a bad name.
  21. It's a Disney movie, for chrissakes! OTOH, they could just have everyone dress like Donald Duck or Winnie the Pooh and no one would even notice. That does remind me of the another famous movie / comic question, "how do dr. banner's pants stay on when he increases in size by 200% and turns into the hulk?" His shirt shreds to pieces, but those pants must be really stretchy. Well, they did have to keep it family-friendly. Same reason you never saw Jeannie's belly button ...or Ginger's or Maryann's for that matter. Annette, too.