Zakisjumping

Hello people, This is my first post, aswell as my first time discovering this forum and I thought maybe I could find help in here... My AFF experience was one full of mixed feelings... I did my AFF in France, I bought a pack of 10 jumps. I have always been a fan of skydiving, I remember at a young age, I would come back from school, turn on my computer and spend the rest of the day watching videos of people skydiving. I knew about everything, from cutaways to the position you have to be in, from how to open to how to land. I choose to go directly for an AFF and get my licence. My first jump was good, felt 0 pressure and 0 fear, it almost felt boring due to the fact that I was being held by 2 monitors, but I did enjoy the canopy ride a lot (mainly because I was alone and controling things by myself). It felt the same throughout all the jumps until the 5th jump, where I felt a bit uncomfortable doing a spinning ball exit, but I did it anyway and it was all good, I got my licence at the 6th jump. After that I did 2 solo jumps and its when everything changed, all of a sudden, I started feeling fear, specially after my first solo jump where I had twisted lines, nothing that was very bad, I actually always feel peaceful after jumping out of the plane and very much in control, no pressure no nothing, it's just the moment of the plane ride/exit and when I'm on the ground. But back to the solo jumps, I did 2 after I got my licence and I had twisted lines in both. At the 9th jump (since I bought a 10 jumps pack) I didn't feel good and on the plane ride, my feet were trembling, I have never felt such fear in my life as that one I had during that moment, I couldn't even move my feet due to the fear and pressure I was having and I decided not to jump. It felt horrible but I thought that I was too negative in my mind to jump, so I'd rather not. I didn't use my 10th jump yet and I left the dropzone. Also I never landed properly, I almost broke my back bone once, yes I used the radio but I never trusted the person behind it for some reason, I always used the brakes way before they announced it due to the fact that the land was starting to get pretty close to me... It's been a month that I'm back to my normal life, work, school and sports but skydiving is always in my min 24/7. I go out, I look up at the sky and I want to jump again. I go back to my home and all I do in my free time is watch skydiving videos. The only thing that is added now is that I feel terrified just by watching a video of a person jumping out of the plane. I feel like my problem is due to the fact that I am not confident enough for it, or rather that I have lost my self confidence totally since I was very much excited at the beginning. I know this seems like I'm making such a big deal of it but I really want to jump again, except that I am terrified and I feel not confident about it. Is there any help I can get from a book or someone similar to my case that jumped again?