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Orygun

Joining a CRW Team - Is this normal???

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"Guess we have to teach you the meaning of the word respect!"

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No need Ms. Smails, I looked it up on Wikipedia. Here's what it said:

"Organized crime syndicates such as the Mafia and the Yakuza also rely on an ethic of respect for superiors."

Is this team an organized crime syndicate? What am I getting myself in to?



You can expect to learn some world-class Canopy Formation flying, jumping some of the most modern equipment. You can expect to make betweeen ten and twenty jumps a weekend, when you are there. You can expect to watch hours of video studying how people can make their canopies do things you can't even imagine, when you are not there. You can expect to learn to fly camera from one of the best air-to-air camera guys around. You can expect to laugh at yourself and your teammates routinely for doing silly things, drunk or sober. You can expect to cook, clean, pack, rig, tote gear, run to the aircraft, fight for packing space, cry that you are too sore to jump anymore, be harangued for being a wuss, be too drunk to stand up, to hungover to care, and deal with being the FNG.

Most of all, you can expect the time of your life!

Did you get all that, or do I have to use a bigger font!

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I just wish you two would get back to work so you can afford to keep my refrigerator stocked.



I thought it was "our" refrigerator?!?!

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Oh! You are right! Sorry!
Please keep "our" (mine and Sharon's) refrigerator stocked.

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We haven't seen any money from this Orygun guy, so really he's not on the team yet.

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Oh no problem! Let me do some accounting here.

Let's see -

Looking at the stunts I have performed for your entertainment and the standard rates:

Fire gag - $2,000
Skydiving Stunt - $,1500
Animal wrangling - $500
Nude Modeling - $250
Bar Tab $5,000
Meal Preparation - $150

Less Team Fees -

You folks only owe me about $8,000 - You wanna write me a check - or should we keep it on account? (I'm assuming you're good for it)

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Oh no problem! Let me do some accounting here.

Let's see -

Looking at the stunts I have performed for your entertainment and the standard rates:

Fire gag - $2,000
Skydiving Stunt - $,1500
Animal wrangling - $500
Nude Modeling - $250
Bar Tab $5,000
Meal Preparation - $150

Less Team Fees -

You folks only owe me about $8,000 - You wanna write me a check - or should we keep it on account? (I'm assuming you're good for it)



Didn't I tell you we were charging you the "Star Rate" at the house? That's to keep your fans away and limit incoming phonecalls. Since you obviously are such a big performer/entertainer, that would be befitting of your status. It's $10,000 a night, for three nights. We threw in extra security at no charge.

Oh and the "bar tab" is what you drank, not what you charge us! You work for the state General Accounting Office as well? And the nude modelling, you said you would work for tips, so you can keep the $1.45 yiou collected that night. (Ithink the dollar was to put your clothes back on!)

So I see you owe us about $20k, and we don't take checks. I'll just charge your AMEX account.

Have a nice day!
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We threw in extra security at no charge.



Being slobbered on by a retarded dog is NOT "extra security"!



No, that's the "adoring fan" option you wanted so much. The extra security was the heavily armed redneck chick. (undercover at no extra charge!)

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No, that's the "adoring fan" option you wanted so much.



Yikes - in that case, I'm sure glad I didnt ask for the "girlfriend treatment"!

-Or is that what the goat was for???



No, she was there! She just rolled her eyes everytime you made a comment, had a glass of white wine while complaining about how much you drank, and then went to bed early because we "weren't really her crowd."

Check the breakdown on the invoice I sent you. Line 64 I believe.

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Oh well, yet another dysfunctional CRW/CF team.
;)
Can I have the video of you guys sorting out your grievances in the air?
:P
Orygun - don't take shit from any of them. Just dock hard, don't dock straight, and give em hell!
:)
Stay Safe - Have Fun - Good Luck

The above could be crap, thought provoking, useful, or . . But not personal. You decide.

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Top - docker aka Ms. Smails -

I know we've been joking around here, but I really appreciate your guidance and support!

I have learned to respect my elders and want you to know how much I look forward to learning many life lessons and cautionary tales from you!

When I get to be YOUR age - I hope I am still able to skydive!

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I do have this stuff just for the hell of it. especially the goat wrestling :P I want to be on the cool kidz team!



No goats, no glory!

Sign up for goat wrangling this Spring! It's lots of fun and all the cool people do it.

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Top...would I be out of line suggesting a CREW cut haircut ( you had one ) and a good nights rest in the Goat pen for your new Team Member ? Too much ?



Not too much! Those are great ideas and I will pass them along to the "Newbie Torture Committee."

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Keep it up, this is becoming one of the longest threads in the CRW forum!



so far it's the best thread in the CRW forum ever

I think it's great how how not having to bath opens up so much more time for internet forum posting

...
Driving is a one dimensional activity - a monkey can do it - being proud of your driving abilities is like being proud of being able to put on pants

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Keep it up, this is becoming one of the longest threads in the CRW forum!



so far it's the best thread in the CRW forum ever

I think it's great how how not having to bath opens up so much more time for internet forum posting



If you skip brushing your teeth or putting on deoderant, that frees up a lot more time too!

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