Why i had a bad meet or Why my swoop went wrong - Excuses.

[frost 1]

We all know how important it is to have a good excuse. So i created a short, but hopefully growing list of perfectly good excuses that any swooper can and should use to help answer the important question of "Why did i suck?"

Feel free to add to this list.

• The conditions were very difficult, changing winds, turbulence, etc.
• Man, i caught a thermal at like 1000 feet, that threw my turn way off and caused me to vertical
• I am still drunk from the night before
• I dont know what happened
• I just got scared
• I was the 4th one out on the 3rd pass, Marat was 1st one out on the 1st pass and he was STILL hanging in brakes! I just couldnt get my set up right!
• My chest strap was so long it created extra drag
• Damn! I forgot my chest strap extension at home!
• Bad body position
• I was just practicing a new turn/trying something new
• I was going for a perfect "6 zeros" score.
• The wind pushed the top skin of my canopy causing me to sink in the turn/move off course
• Traffic!
• I forgot my competition glasses
• I started like 40, no not even, like 20 feet too high.
• Didn’t get laid/got laid too much last night
• It's a new lineset, the canopy just doesn’t fly right!
• This is my third jump on a new canopy
• I had an extra serving of the weak sauce with my steak last night.
• Bad camera angle, it was clearly NOT a vertical.
• The competition rules were changed as I was flying through the course!
• We don’t have enough handicap!
• There is too much handicap!
• I couldn’t see the course from above

[ianmdrennan 2]

I was distracted by Shatalov's shitty swoop.

Performance Designs Factory Team

[frost 1]

Pretty good one!

Alternate version: I was still laughing too hard after watching Ian face plant.

[marks 0]

Quote

I was the 4th one out on the 3rd pass, Marat was 1st one out on the 1st pass and he was STILL hanging in brakes! I just couldnt get my set up right!

[NexGenSkydiver 0]

One for ian or Jairo would be "dude, my shirt was too baggy"

What about "my tail trying to sound like a helicopter distracted me"

[ianmdrennan 2]

Heh - Yeah!

Performance Designs Factory Team

[piahenzi 0]

LOL! ...Slow day at work Shatalov?? I think I've used at least 50% of them...I'm running out of excuses.. .
For me, please add:
1) "I'm a girl and therefore can't understand the math involved...descent rate in feet/second relative to distance covered? What do you mean by that GW???"
2) that damn cheststrap was squishing my boobs and I got distracted by nipple pinch.
3) got mascara in my eye which made me tear up so I couldn't see the set up.

[kameraflyr 0]

I am in nursing school and couldnt even come to the event....its worked for me the last 2 events and worlds too!
See you guys at Raeford! Will be there Weds. to commune with the pond for a few days...(loosely translated to swimming practice).

[piahenzi 0]

LOL! - cant wait to see you Beek! I'll be sporting an extra 20 lbs - some artificial and some homegrown by then... Mike, Sergei and I will be down Thursday midday sometime.

***

4) I gained some weight and not used to the higher wingloading yet.

[fr33flyr 0]

Swamp gas from a weather balloon was trapped in a thermal pocket and reflected the light from Venus into my eyes.

_______________________________
I like life....It's something to do.

[Sabre1Lucke 0]

I was flying the same patern as Jay, made the same moves, did the same turn at the same altitude with the same canopy.

Still came out to high.... forgot the wingload,...yeah, Jay is more fat then me

[polarbear 1]

Spizzarko distracted me with the loudener

"Holy s*** that was f***in' cold!"

[berchtoldaj 0]

I think Shatlov hit most of them...
* I saw them in the plane, when I exited, and watched them the whole way down even through my turn, damn that tandem got in my way.

************
Watch out for planters.

[DALAILAMA 0]

Not really sure Pia, I just babble incoherintly and pray that no one figures it out that I am clearly delusional and making it up!
That's not fair to Ian, It's his dads shirt obviously and besides he is under alot of pressure.... To not get JT's rig wet like he did Bobos!
My favorite exscuses. (to be stated during or prior to event starting)
1. I haven't been training and I am uncurrent.
2. Just got a new canopy
3. I have an injury / sickness
4. Trying a new technique and I figured this comp was the best place to try it out.
5. Lost my risers in the turn... My favorite!
6. I am a puss and I can't hold my risers down....aka #5.
7. I know I should fly a pattern and pace off my maneuver point but I don't wanna!
8. That shit scared me!
9. I don't know what happened
10. I SUCK!

"Dropzone.com, where uneducated people measuring penises, has become an art form"

[AggieDave 6]

11. The rules won't let me wear weights.

--"When I die, may I be surrounded by scattered chrome and burning gasoline."

[piahenzi 0]

Nos 6 and 7 directly pointed at me ?? Hmmm???
I can be summed up with no 10.
It is what it is...
Love it (and you, GW) anyway

[DALAILAMA 0]

#6 is actually a direct explination for #5 and actually it is directed at me!
#7 is not at you sweetie, its at 75% of the swooping world!
The names were changed to protect the innoc..........guilty!
#11. I know where my Maneuver point is but I didn't trust it! (again, ME!)

"Dropzone.com, where uneducated people measuring penises, has become an art form"