stupidest student ever?

[Abedy 0]

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Someone landed atop a palm tree, the only tree around for a hundred yards, naturally.

Something similar, found on the net years ago. See the mpeg, I put it temporarily on my website. AFAIR I read the jumper didn't suffer any injuries apart from a bruised ego.

The sky is not the limit. The ground is.

The Society of Skydiving Ducks

[rehmwa 2]

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"she looks me right in the eye and smiles: checks her altimeter: and then does a practice touch while on her back."

RESPECT!

I want her phone number!

you do, she's gorgeous, athletic and very fun

(she's also married, has a couple kids, and doesn't jump regularly - so that might mitigate your interest...)

...
Driving is a one dimensional activity - a monkey can do it - being proud of your driving abilities is like being proud of being able to put on pants

[jclalor 12]

I had someone just off student status ask me what "tracking was"

[riddler 0]

I posted to this thread a long time ago, and have had a few "interesting" students since then. The ones I remember most are the ones that say funny things during the ground-school. Like one young woman (about 19 y/o), who prattled out something like this:

"What do we do when our 'chute doesn't open? Oh, I think we're supposed to cut it off, fly to the other guy and clip ourselves to that guy. Is that right?"

I swear that Hollywood puts these ideas in people's minds.

Trapped on the surface of a sphere. XKCD

[riggerrob 558]

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I posted to this thread a long time ago, and have had a few "interesting" students since then. The ones I remember most are the ones that say funny things during the ground-school. Like one young woman (about 19 y/o), who prattled out something like this:

"What do we do when our 'chute doesn't open? Oh, I think we're supposed to cut it off, fly to the other guy and clip ourselves to that guy. Is that right?"

I swear that Hollywood puts these ideas in people's minds.

...................................................................

A decade ago, I wondered what I did to get such a clumsy tandem student, until another instructor told me the full story ... after we landed!

He was teaching the first jump course to a bimbo. Whenever the he said something like: "If your main parachute does not open, look at the right side of your chest, watch your fingers wrap around the red handle, look at the silver handle and watch your fingers wrap around the silver handle ...," she would reply "But, I'll still be okay?"
After dancing through this routine a few times. my buddy said: "Let me introduce you to our best tandem instructor."
She:"But I''ll still get to jump by myself? Right?"
He:"Let me introduce you to our best tandem instructor."
She: "but I'll still be able to jump by myself? Right?"
He: "Let me introduce you to our best tandem instructor."
Hah!
Hah!

In case anyone accuses me of mysogeny, I also use the word "bimbo" to describe young women who: cannot read maps, expect me to do all the heavy lifting, expect me to clean up the worst messes, expect me to pay all the bills, etc.
Can anyone suggest a similar word to describe young, male slackers?

[airtwardo 6]

Can anyone suggest a similar word to describe young, male slackers?

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BimBob...

~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~

[obelixtim 100]

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Edit: the problem with "stupidest student stories" for me, is either:

the student just didn't get prepped very well, and that's not on the student, it's on me or my friends that prepped him.

I fully agree. Sometimes the stupidest student simply had the stupidest instructor. I've seen a few who must have got their rating out of a cereal box.....

My computer beat me at chess, It was no match for me at kickboxing....

[skyjumpenfool 2]

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Edit: the problem with "stupidest student stories" for me, is either:

the student just didn't get prepped very well, and that's not on the student, it's on me or my friends that prepped him.

I fully agree. Sometimes the stupidest student simply had the stupidest instructor. I've seen a few who must have got their rating out of a cereal box.....

Hey! That box said I'd be just fine if I sent in my nickel along with the box tops....

Birdshit & Fools Productions

"Son, only two things fall from the sky."

[format 0]

Strange as it seems, no amount of learning training can cure stupidity, and higher education training positively fortifies it. - Stephen Vizinczey

Does this really work?

What goes around, comes later.

[lurch 0]

I can buy her more jumps... ain't got much money but for a woman like that, I'd find it... the married with kids part, thats a bit of a barrier, there I wouldn't mess with.
Bummer.
How come all the worlds truly badass women are all taken? Or, rather, have taken guys for themselves already.
Oh well, I betcha she makes a badass Mom.

What I wouldn't give to find my other half and discover she's got that much of a cool collected head on her shoulders... There is nothing more attractive than a woman with a mind like that.

*goes back to looking for one*
-B

Live and learn... or die, and teach by example.

[wmw999 2,121]

Nope. Generally the evaluation of "stupid" is a result of "he didn't learn what I taught, the way I taught it."

There's a whole host of reasons why that might be the case, all the way from fear, through physical clumsiness, different approach to problems from the teacher, with only a small percentage actually being stupid.

Wendy P.

There is nothing more dangerous than breaking a basic safety rule and getting away with it. It removes fear of the consequences and builds false confidence. (tbrown)

[airtwardo 6]

What I wouldn't give to find my other half and discover she's got that much of a cool collected head on her shoulders... There is nothing more attractive than a woman with a mind like that.

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I got one!

Nuthin' keeps ya on yer toes like a woman with more balls than you have!

~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~

[lurch 0]

AMEN! (Rub it in old man, why don'cha.)

Live and learn... or die, and teach by example.

[robinheid 0]

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ok lets have some good laughs.
im hosting this years dumbest student awards. lets hear your candidates story.
this years prize is a set of golfclubs.

-------------------------
Okay, someone's got to bump this thread back to the top. Have we had no 'challenged' students since the last post?!

I'll reboot it with a story of my own. Oh, BTW, you know I was an awesome student! Oh, sure....

At Ft. Lewis Washington in summer of '82 I was ready for my first clear and pull from a Chinook Helicopter, CH-47. I get the go and bunny hopped off the tailgate. I actually did a good hop and pop. The fun starts under 300 feet.

As I'm drifting under my MC-1B, 35 foot round with steering toggles, I'm still holding my ripchord. As I drift over the windsock at about 100', I dropped my ripchord (in reality, I was tired of holding it and thought I could try a little impact accuracy with it) and almost hit the windsock.

Oh no, the newby fun is not over. I drifted past the LZ and into the biggest fucking christmas tree I've ever seen. I hit it ass first about 20 feet up. The tree collasped into a slide and I slid down it to a perfect standup landing.

So, Pvt. Garrison was on the hook for 3 cases of beer. First freefall, Dropping the ripchord and First standup landing. I ponyied up (how the hell do you spell Pony+ed) with a small keg and just smiled.

Okay, there are several years of stupidity missing here.

Pony Up!!

Same jump except completely different. First freefall, June 1972, Raeford, NC, hop and pop, 28-foot 7-TU round. Didn't drop the ripcord, but drifted past the landing area into pine trees. Small trees, parachute hung in four of them, I did a standup landing in between. Three cases of beer: first freefall, first tree landing, first standup.


44

SCR-6933 / SCS-3463 / D-5533 / BASE 44 / CCS-37 / 82d Airborne (Ret.)

"The beginning of wisdom is to first call things by their right names."

[format 0]

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Three cases of beer: first freefall, first tree landing, first standup.

Now that's a student worth training!

What goes around, comes later.

[yeyo 1]

This one has to be on the top 5 stupidest ever...

It was on her AFF level 1. Everything looked fine, good exit, good freefall, good altitude aware etc etc. So she opens her parachute and she is hanging around in the holding area and everything seemed fine until its time to start the usual student landing pattern...then she cutaway about 1000'

She landed fine under the reserve and her excuse was: "I was going too slow and it was taking forever to get to the ground"

She got the "speech" and never came back.

HISPA #93
DS #419.5

[obelixtim 100]

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Nope. Generally the evaluation of "stupid" is a result of "he didn't learn what I taught, the way I taught it."

There's a whole host of reasons why that might be the case, all the way from fear, through physical clumsiness, different approach to problems from the teacher, with only a small percentage actually being stupid.

There is the saying, (which is true, sometimes) "If the student didn't learn, maybe the teacher didn't teach".

Many instructors have no training in teaching and learning techniques, and its something that needs to be incorporated into instructor training. Knowing the content, and knowing how to impart it, are two different things.

My computer beat me at chess, It was no match for me at kickboxing....

[airtwardo 6]

There is the saying, (which is true, sometimes) "If the student didn't learn, maybe the teacher didn't teach".

Many instructors have no training in teaching and learning techniques, and its something that needs to be incorporated into instructor training. Knowing the content, and knowing how to impart it, are two different things.

I knew a guy that 'had it' in spades.

He's moved on now, but a while back there was an AFFI at the local DZ that just absolutely amazed me.

This guy had some innate ability to relate to people in a way I've never seen a 'teacher' do, he'd size 'em up and get on their wavelength like no one I've witnessed in my time jumping.

Professional as they come...I use to like to just watch and listen to him bring a n00b along, never saw a 'bad' student in this guys hands.

In the aircraft he was 'at the office' and the only thing missing was a briefcase & tie. I know some good instructors, this guy was a GREAT one.



I guess he was having some health problems and went to something less physical, too bad...I told him once he could always make a living teaching the teachers HOW to teach...and not have to jump.

~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~

[Andrewwhyte 1]

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A decade ago, I wondered what I did to get such a clumsy tandem student, until another instructor told me the full story ... after we landed!

He was teaching the first jump course to a bimbo. Whenever the he said something like: "If your main parachute does not open, look at the right side of your chest, watch your fingers wrap around the red handle, look at the silver handle and watch your fingers wrap around the silver handle ...," she would reply "But, I'll still be okay?"
After dancing through this routine a few times. my buddy said: "Let me introduce you to our best tandem instructor."
She:"But I''ll still get to jump by myself? Right?"
He:"Let me introduce you to our best tandem instructor."
She: "but I'll still be able to jump by myself? Right?"
He: "Let me introduce you to our best tandem instructor."
Hah!
Hah!

In case anyone accuses me of mysogeny, I also use the word "bimbo" to describe young women who: cannot read maps, expect me to do all the heavy lifting, expect me to clean up the worst messes, expect me to pay all the bills, etc.
Can anyone suggest a similar word to describe young, male slackers?

lol I remember her. At some point when I kept telling her how great Rob was she, in I am sure was one of her more lucid moments of the day, said, "you're not giving me a choice are you?"
When class resumed the other students tried to get me to wait as there was one missing. When I said she was going to do a tandem everyone was very relieved.

[jclalor 12]

This one deserves an honerable mention;


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5rn1OI25bH4

[trigger 0]

Not been following this thread too closely but worth a watch if not already posted.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=90yNsoCeORQ
Virgin boss Richard Branson

.CHOP WOOD COLLECT WATER.

[skyrider 0]

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Not been following this thread too closely but worth a watch if not already posted.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=90yNsoCeORQ
Virgin boss Richard Branson

Sir Richard has come close to death in several sports!~

[hookitt 0]

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This one deserves an honerable mention;


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5rn1OI25bH4

Not sure I agree with that one. It wasn't great but that's why Ripcord training shouldn't happen. I believe she was initially trained with ripcords.

Once I finally convinced our DZO to quit using ripcords, this type of problem stopped.

My grammar sometimes resembles that of magnetic refrigerator poetry... Ghetto

[hookitt 0]

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Not been following this thread too closely but worth a watch if not already posted.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=90yNsoCeORQ
Virgin boss Richard Branson

That's a great example of why certain changes were made. Chest mount altimeters are such a bad Idea with student skydivers.

Arch Look Reach Pull was changed to Arch Reach Pull ... with whatever variance you wish to add but no looking.

That's about all the detail I care to go into from that video. It's fun to watch but the student wasn't that dumb. The equipment has changed because of that exact scenario.

edit: close the underline tag from the previous post :)

My grammar sometimes resembles that of magnetic refrigerator poetry... Ghetto

[riggerrob 558]

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Not been following this thread too closely but worth a watch if not already posted.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=90yNsoCeORQ
Virgin boss Richard Branson

........................................................................

That student was lucky that his left riser did not tear his reserve container off his back!