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tattoojeff

stupidest student ever?

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Sorry if these have been mentioned in previous posts (I couldn't be bothered to read all 8 pages), but here are a couple of stories I have heard:

1) The student who chopped because the canopy was the wrong colour. All the photos were of red white and blue canopies, so what an orange white and green (or whatever) canopy appeared he decided he wanted another one...

2) The student who chopped because the slider didn't stay up (similar to an early post, except this guy actually chopped and I've met him).

3) A guy who chopped because his spring loaded pilot chute had gone over the front of his canopy. It was flying fine, but it wasn't something he was expecting so he (quite reasonably IMO) decided to chop it.

4) Me. On about jump 100 my 170 canopy opened on heading an immediatly started spiraling. I was able to stop it by pulling down on one of the rear risers, but I couldn't see what was wrong with it and I didn't want to land it like that. When I got to the ground and recovered the canopy, it turned out the packer (um, yeah, ok, it was me) had not set one of the brakes. Because I had been controling it on the risers I hadn't actually looked at that :(

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well I remember a video on some show and some guy wanted to fly to five/four feet and cut away on the flare really close to his family and freinds to impress his freinds and scare his wife a little but it was planned for 5 feet so he wouldn't get hurt well he comes down and everybody is like ooooooo aaaaaa thats soo cool ext ext well he's at like 20 25 feet chop's it all of usuden oooooo no just when he hit you could here both his legs snap ten feet away and his head put a dibit in the ground weird part of it all is that he lived and in the hospital his budy got him a skyhook as a get well present dum ass

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Scott Lutz.... I know I know where have I been....That has got to be the stupidest dumbest thing I have ever seen!...OMG! People like him give our lifestyle a bad name, and as the ignorant narrator said,"there was only a thousand feet between him and death" Please, that view where that was said was at least 4000 feet, and being an AFF student his student cypres would have fired a long time before 1000'...okay I'm done ranting, I know this has been said over & over but damn this guy is a real moron...

>:(

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Student asking to AFF isnstructor during boarding:

So do I have to pull when the arrow shows 0?

No joke, really saw it.
(student did not board the airplane after that)

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Using your droque to gain stability is a bad habit,
Especially when you are jumping a sport rig

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"Student" with approx 70 jumps (lots of solos!) request a two-way coaching jump.I agree (always a good opportunity!).DZ operates a Porter , but it was a busy day , so a Caravan was flown in to assist.First time for "student" to exit Caravan.I decided to door jam Caravan ( at this point static ...being refueled) with "student" (being floater for this twoway) in order to simplify exit on actual skydive.On the count "..ready ...set ...go", .........yep , he goes.Falls 4ft onto the runway and breaks his wrist.....! I still haven't heard the end of it(from my mates!)....and doubt if I ever will!:S

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After teaching FJC, I always try to find out - either from the student, or instructor - how their jump went. None of my students have done anything incredibly stupid yet, but if they did, I would take it personally. Either I didn't teach them well enough, or I didn't recommend that they don't jump. Yes, there have been a few students that I recommend do not jump. Some of the issues I've heard on this thread, I would attribute to poor training and the lack of the instructor to get an idea of the awareness of the student. You can't account for everything, but instructors have to take some responsibility too.

Now, I've seen some other people's students :P Like the guy that trained in Poland. He opened his 230 into strong headwind and was flying backwards. He wasn't going to make the landing area, so he chopped at 2500 feet and opened his reserve by 1,000, narrowly avoiding a CYPRES fire. On the ground, he explained that he wanted to get down faster so he wasn't blown backwards as far. Yes, it was stupid. It was also stupid for the DZO to allow the student to jump in strong headwinds - USPA recommends 14 MPH limit until A license.

Then there was the guy that just graduated AFF. On his first solo, he went unstable every time he reached back to pull. From 5,000 to 1,000, he tried to pull several times, but each time he went unstable, so he did not complete the pull. What did he do? Waited. He knew the CYPRES would fire, so he waited for it. Luckily it did fire and saved his life. Luckily, the CYPRES OS isn't written by Microsoft, too, or else it surely would have crashed, and so would he. Maybe the instructor didn't cover pull priorities well enough.
Trapped on the surface of a sphere. XKCD

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I would try not to make a habit of that twisting thing (without knowing the exact movement you're describing, of course) - you generally want to be as symmetrical as possible right after you deploy.



This is what people are taught in Static line. Not to "TWIST" per say, but to Arch, look, reach, pull and clear burble. The last part is what he is refering to. Looking at the d-bag come off your back. The logic is that by looking at the bag you will dip a shoulder and let air flow cleanly over your back, helping the Spring loaded PC get clean air and come off your back faster. I still do that to this day. I keep my body nice and straight but look real hard over my right shoulder. I can usually see everything up until it reaches line stretch.

In my mind at least, it allows me to be a bit ahead of the game so to speak. If I let go my PC and don't see the bag coming off my back real quick like I know I have a problem.
Dom


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Mine's nowhere near any of these, but it was still about 25 feet from being really embarassing.

On my second S/L jump, I was coming in on the DZ, and the ground radioman told me to "line up on the alfalfa". Not being an agricultural sort, I realised I had no idea what alfalfa looked like from ground level, let alone on my downwind leg at 1,000 feet. So I lined up on the corn instead, then extended my base leg a bit to clear off the corn, then landed with the corn about 20' to my left :D

however, nobody was the wiser, because the alfalfa was the wild-growing grass and shit next to the corn field, so they all thought I was following instructions :ph34r::ph34r::ph34r::ph34r:
cavete terrae.

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Now, I've seen some other people's students :P Like the guy that trained in Poland. He opened his 230 into strong headwind and was flying backwards. He wasn't going to make the landing area, so he chopped at 2500 feet and opened his reserve by 1,000, narrowly avoiding a CYPRES fire. On the ground, he explained that he wanted to get down faster so he wasn't blown backwards as far. Yes, it was stupid. It was also stupid for the DZO to allow the student to jump in strong headwinds - USPA recommends 14 MPH limit until A license.



I might not believe that story, but I was on that load, and saw it. It was one of those not uncommon instances at that DZ where the winds go from 5-10 mph on exit, to 20-30 under canopy.
"There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones.

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Was told of a German first jump student at our dz years ago, First jump, good exit and arch, canopy opens square and flying straight, next thing he cuts away and pulls his reserve handle!!!
When asked why he did that it was found that he was taught his reserve procedures a tad too close to his exit procedure. He didn't stop at Arch thousand...five thousand check canopy! He continued to MALFUNCTION!!! Look, Handles, etc. He thought that it was all one procedure.
...drags me down like some sweet gravity!!!

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"Student" with approx 70 jumps (lots of solos!) request a two-way coaching jump.I agree (always a good opportunity!).DZ operates a Porter , but it was a busy day , so a Caravan was flown in to assist.First time for "student" to exit Caravan.I decided to door jam Caravan ( at this point static ...being refueled) with "student" (being floater for this two way) in order to simplify exit on actual skydive.On the count "..ready ...set ...go", .........yep, he goes.Falls 4 feet onto the runway and breaks his wrist.....! I still haven't heard the end of it(from my mates!)....and doubt if I ever will!:S



>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

The last time I dirt-dived a tandem exit from a Beech 18, the student got ahead of me and launched us, head-first onto the grass!
Felt like I broke my neck!
The scary part is - a year later - I saw a new TI practicing the same exit out of our new King Air!

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not really that stupid but I remember another friend of mine on one of his first jumps transitioning from a rip cord to throw out. (around jump 15)

long story short, he went to pull and heeld on to his pc.

the bridal wrapped around the parachute and he freaked out and cut away (releasing PC right before he started emergency procedures)

cutaway at approx...4000 or 45

landed the reserve in the peas B|


BE THE BUDDHA!

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Aight, I've got a good one...

Several years back, we had a lady just off student status (like 15-20 jumps) actually land INSIDE a Beech 18. She got such a bad case of object fixation that she went right through the door, somehow managing to narrowly miss hitting either side, or the top or bottom. Ended up sitting dead in the middle of the plane, without a scratch, and the canopy went over the fusalage and draped on the other side. Very lucky that an instructor had, less than five minutes earlier, forgotten to close the plexiglass door after doing some exit practice with another student.

I SWEAR this is a true story, I couldn't make it up if I tried!
"Some people follow their dreams, others hunt them down and beat them mercilessly into submission."

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Joey Jones showed me a video of a good one. He was working in Beaumont Texas as an AFF instructor.

The video shows a student flying his Manta, you could hear the radio instructions in the audio. The camera pans quickly to the left then back to the student.

The radio commands were being ignored by the student. Joey (who was not giving the radio instructions) was shouting somethging about turning the canopy.

The student kept flying straight without turning or flaring smack dab into the side of a Blimp. Yes... a big ass blimp. The canopy collapsed then reinflated just above the ground and the student was uninjured.

The camera man and Joey are running toward the student as he stood up... "Huh huh.. She flew me right into a Blimp"
My grammar sometimes resembles that of magnetic refrigerator poetry... Ghetto

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