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Skydiving Midgets

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We think a bird must have grabbed him and flew off.




I have a buddy that works as an A&P at a Lear/Cessna FBO that was telling me about something strange he had to deal with a while back.


It seems a Citation was having problems developing full power in #1, upon inspection about 1/2 a midget was found lodged in the intake...the reason he brought it up was there was an MA-1 tied around the lil' person's waist.










~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~

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would that be categorized as a skydiving death or an aviation fatality? Either way at least he died a midget warrior death.





I'm guessing it would depend on which part of the slingshot trajectory the midget was at when he got the vacuum frappe...on the way up wouldn't really be classified as a skydiving fatality would it?


FAA calls it- "Odd FOD"










~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~

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Poor little bastard. What a way to go! We used to launch them with water melon chunking ballista's. We felt a little bad about the way the slamed in with a MA-1 so we started using tandem drouge's.Quite a few started surviving after that.





Sure wish we'd have thought of that. :S

We used two trebuchets, one at each end of the runway...one loaded with a midget and the other with a B.A.S.E. rig packed with a fighting kite.

Ya could go through a whole short bus full of 'em before ya got the windage and elevation in sync...but when the ole 'Patriot Missile' effect took place, it was truly a thing of beauty!










~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~

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Back in I think the 80s???? At Elsinore there was a little person who worked for Jim Wallace Skydiving School and also jumped. She had a special little rig made and I remember she had a license plate on her car that said SMURFET or something to that nature.

I don't remember her name but I do rememeber that she was nice looking and not all that disproportional as far as body parts are concerned. I believe she was considered a dwarf instead of a midget. But she was very nice to be around and a lot of fun on the DZ.
Green Light
"Harry, why did you land all the way out there? Nobody else landed out there."
"Your statement answered your question."

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Larry, I think it was the late 80's - early 90's at Perris when Jeff Jones ran the school and Jim Wallace was the chief instructor there. I believe her name was Shelby, a pretty lil blond. Really, really sweet girl, fun to be around.

On jump run in the Otter or even in the King Air she'd stand fully up to get ready, like she thought she was in a DC-3 or something.

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Yep I think you are right. Sweet girl indeed. I was going to say late 80s early 90s but my memory fails me now.

I didn't know that Jim did not own the school at the time. He did later in the 90s but that wasn't the time period for Shelby. Wonder what ever happened to her???
Green Light
"Harry, why did you land all the way out there? Nobody else landed out there."
"Your statement answered your question."

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Due to an oversight on my part, I have yet to express my eternal gratitude for this post. Not since reading "How do I get Herculiner off of my hootus?" have I laughed, cried, & GROANED this much. What makes it especially funny to me is the one "small person" I know: To say he has "anger management issues" is putting it mildly. Personal attacks, viscous ones, were the only way he disagreed with anyone on line, & I know someone that's been a personal friend of his since the early 80's that recently cut off all ties because he's getting so hard to deal with.

Anyways... Thanks all, I've THOROUGHLY enjoyed the hell out of this! ;)

When the only tool you have is a hammer, every problem looks like a nail.

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It would appear that your ex-friend suffers from a case of "Little Man Syndrome" They go through life with their noses at the same level as other peoples armpits, always smelling underarm body odor. This coupled with the fact that the have to look up to every body gives them an inferiority complex for which the compensate by being complete assholes and mad at the world.Now take a midget whose nose is at crotch level to everyone else and you have someone with the same attitude compounded by a factor of ten. Makes them really surly little buggers. So this makes them fair game in being used as projectiles for our amusement and sport.It is my observation that midget tossing is more prevelent in the skydiving community than in any other part of society. Must be some primal need we have.So, lets go toss a midget!!

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