JumpUpMyAss 0 #26 August 16, 2009 Me jealous? Of a skydiving midget with a bigger dick than mine that could probably whip my ass? This mother fucker had a DONG man. I know he got more DZ snatch than all of us. Drop Zone mamas were freaky too and they all wanted to fuck the Omega Midget. Little freak -I mean he made ME feel fucked up. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Spiker 1 #27 August 16, 2009 DZ's are going to have the same problems as nudest camps. Midgets go around sticking their The only thing I miss about jumping rounds is getting driven into the ground like a stake. POP'S 9817 SOS 1172 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
airtwardo 6 #28 August 16, 2009 Quote Yeah, I jumped with a midget once. We were doing a 4-way from a Cessna, and I exited last. I was a bit slow with the exit, so I had to really tuck & dive to get down to the formation. I came in too hot and hit him right in the back, funneling the load. He was jumping a Velo 96, so naturally he was last down flying that boat. Anyhow, when he finally gets down, he stalks up to me and squeaks, "I am not happy." I said, "Really? Which dwarf are you?" Yeah, then the lil' popcorn fart landed in the peas and just sat there...I had to shoot the target bow-legged to miss him, I said what's a matter half pint...you tired? No he squeaked..."I'm Sleepy" ~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jbrasher 0 #29 August 24, 2009 Old Man, I've attached a picture of the Dwarf Tossing Competition Judges at the Convention in Quincy, IL in 1990. This was during deliberations. As a note, we found that the female dwarfs tended to not slide as far as the male dwarfs Red, White and Blue Skies, John T. Brasher D-5166 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JohnRich 4 #30 August 25, 2009 This is absolutely the funniest thread I have ever read! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
nigel99 143 #31 August 25, 2009 Quote That will cause some problems for jumpers as well as DZ owners. Midgets fly different -they are laterally unstable and hard to doc - if you hit them too hard they richochet off spinning and sqealing like a little piglet. Plus they throw off your depth perception - they look farther off than they really are. They're just hard to see. And forget about a wave off -they'll pull right in your face. DZ owners won't make as much money when invaded by the midget men, everything is half price. And then there is the midget orgies. I don't know if you've ever been to one of their midget parties but I have and it gets ugly. damn you are a comic - this is definately the funniest thread I have read in a long timeExperienced jumper - someone who has made mistakes more often than I have and lived. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
airtwardo 6 #32 August 25, 2009 It IS kinda nest to see a 1:1 loading on a 37 foot canopy though! ~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JohnRich 4 #33 August 25, 2009 QuoteDZ owners won't make as much money when invaded by the midget men, everything is half price. Actually, they could charge them half-price, but put twice as many in the same airplane. Therefore the DZ makes just as much money as before. And the midgets would get twice as many jumps for the same amount of money as regular full-size people. And think of the formation possibilities: Midgets could do 8-way from a C-182, or 40-ways from an Otter! I'm kinda wishing I could be a midget for skydiving purposes... But, alas, I'm like the giant in "Gulliver's Travels", and the midgets would swarm all over me like Lilliputians. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
virgin-burner 1 #34 August 26, 2009 they could actually do a 10-way rodeo on your back! world-record! “Some may never live, but the crazy never die.” -Hunter S. Thompson "No. Try not. Do... or do not. There is no try." -Yoda Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
howardwhite 3 #35 August 26, 2009 Dunno the guy in the middle, but the guys on the l & r look familiar. L- Patrick Bisson R-Kevin Walsh Both were New England jumpers. Right? HW Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
airtwardo 6 #36 August 26, 2009 Quote they could actually do a 10-way rodeo on your back! world-record! And talk about a money maker on the Tandem side! Ya can dog leash clip 1/2 a dozen of 'em to a regular harness... ~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jbrasher 0 #37 August 26, 2009 Howard, That's me on the left and Tom 'Animal' Fredrikson center and you're right Kevin on the right. This is what happens when the weather isn't too good and you start drinking boiler makers around 9:00 AM. Let that be a lesson to you younger kids Red, White and Blue Skies, John T. Brasher D-5166 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
OldMan 0 #38 August 27, 2009 I donno about the 1:1 on a 37 footer Those little buggers are barrel chested and solid! One in good shape can be 50 to 60 pounds.Their stubby little bowed legs are like fence posts and all muscle.Or is that dwarfs I'm thinking of? I never could tell the difference,they all look alike to me. ya seen one ya seen em all. If anyone can explain the difference between a dwarf and a midget please let me know. I tried to Google it and got nowhere. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JumpUpMyAss 0 #39 August 27, 2009 Dwarfs think they're better than Midgets. They dress a little nicer and smell better but the truth is.....they all fall the same. I can say this because my mother was a midget. In fact she's in the Guinness Book of Records as the tallest midget in the world. She's 5' 11". Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JumpUpMyAss 0 #40 August 27, 2009 I RECOGNIZE THIS GUY! I did a 1 1/2 man with him. He got wasted so we packed his little ass up in a Green County POD and jumped him. He POD locked and went in. We never did find his little body. That was some funny shit, we had a blast and I think he enjoyed it too....except for the last second or two. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
airtwardo 6 #41 August 27, 2009 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6E-Y-d58HIU Knew they skydive...but MOONWALK?! ~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
nigel99 143 #42 August 27, 2009 Quote http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6E-Y-d58HIU Knew they skydive...but MOONWALK?! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mRnIXnBcAAo&feature=related The first 20 seconds of this video are on topic - the last 5 seconds you will wish you had never seenExperienced jumper - someone who has made mistakes more often than I have and lived. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JumpUpMyAss 0 #43 August 27, 2009 Michael Jackson was a midget? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
airtwardo 6 #44 August 27, 2009 QuoteMichael Jackson was a midget? No, he was actually TWO midgets stacked up... Top one bought the farm, the bottom one is trying for unemployment benefits but they say he will only get 50%. ~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
usedtajump 1 #45 September 1, 2009 Took a "little lady" on a tandem jump. Took quite a while to fit the harness on her because every time I'd tug on leg straps or main lift webs she's lose her balance and fall over. Climb to altitude was pretty comfortable what with the extra room and shit. Jump went OK but after landing it was like standing there wearing a large belly wart since her feet didn't touch the ground. The older I get the less I care who I piss off. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jaymundo 0 #46 September 3, 2009 Laughed so much on that thread....I dont want to go to work now !!!!!Bwahhhhhhhhhhaaaaa Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
airtwardo 6 #47 September 3, 2009 QuoteLaughed so much on that thread....I dont want to go to work now !!!!!Bwahhhhhhhhhhaaaaa Nothing breaks up your day like a thread full of short stories. ~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mjosparky 3 #48 September 6, 2009 Quote Old Man, I've attached a picture of the Dwarf Tossing Competition Judges at the Convention in Quincy, IL in 1990. This was during deliberations. As a note, we found that the female dwarfs tended to not slide as far as the male dwarfs That is a picture of Dil and Doe the Ding dong twins.SparkyMy idea of a fair fight is clubbing baby seals Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
howardwhite 3 #49 September 6, 2009 Quote That's me on the left and Tom 'Animal' Fredrikson center and you're right Kevin on the right. Hmm... did anyone ever tell you you look just like Pat Bisson? HW Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JumpUpMyAss 0 #50 September 7, 2009 In the days before wind tunnels we built a a 'midget launcher' to get them some free fall time. It was like a big sling shot and we would shoot them over the t-hangers into the pea gravel. We were launching them two at a time if they were small enough. They'd squeal and grab at each other all the way. They carried MA-1's to slow down the landing a bit. I got out of hand when we made a second launcher and were launching them them directly at each other at night. We shot one straight up and never found him. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
