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steve1

Scary stories from the old days?

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Great story Airtwardo! Tell us another one.....Steve1



I don't think anyone tells stories as good as Airtwardo. Thanks to him, "Yard! A long distance dinger" has entered my vocabulary.

And steve, this is easily the best thread ever.


My wife is hotter than your wife.

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After all, you have been to Kill Devil Hills.




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http://www.dropzone.com/cgi-bin/gallery/imageFolio.cgi?action=view&link=Personal_Galleries/airtwardo&image=kh009small.jpg&img=&tt=


Notice how my leg is trying to make
the monument...invisible!? :P



That's one demo story that won't end up
in THIS thread!

The smoothest, safest, fastest building 20way
anyone could ever hope to be in on...B|

Considering it was thrown together using
a bunch of PRO Rated demo jumpers...

~ 'Old Guys' ~

... that had for the most part NEVER MET...
much less jumped together!

Roger Ponce is simply amazing! :)













~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~

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After all, you have been to Kill Devil Hills.




Quote



http://www.dropzone.com/cgi-bin/gallery/imageFolio.cgi?action=view&link=Personal_Galleries/airtwardo&image=kh009small.jpg&img=&tt=


Notice how my leg is trying to make
the monument...invisible!? :P



That's one demo story that won't end up
in THIS thread!

The smoothest, safest, fastest building 20way
anyone could ever hope to be in on...B|

Considering it was thrown together using
a bunch of PRO Rated demo jumpers...

~ 'Old Guys' ~

... that had for the most part NEVER MET...
much less jumped together!

Roger Ponce is simply amazing! :)





That was one hell of a demo. Out at 12.5 and broke a 7 grand. Open at 5,600. Thanks for the slot.

Sparky
My idea of a fair fight is clubbing baby seals

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On my first trip down to Z-hills in '79 we had a crater party for a Canadian girl who'd gone in there within the last couple of years...


My brother, CrazyRick, has a picture of the crater she made - perfect outline in the ground of her body position at impact.

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... I remember there was a ding in the eaves of the clubhouse that was pointed out to me - from two guys who ran into each other at a few hundred feet and spun down only to bounce off the roof...


Yep...that "ding" was left there purposely for two reasons - to show "what could happen" and to emphasize the balls it took to skydive.
My reality and yours are quite different.
I think we're all Bozos on this bus.
Falcon5232, SCS8170, SCSA353, POPS9398, DS239

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:P
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Great story Airtwardo! Tell us another one.....Steve1





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I've been on the road for a few weeks,
ran into someone I hadn't thought about
for a while.

We all meet people throughout our lives
that make an impression on us.
That for one reason or another seems to 'stick' in our memory forever.
Skydiving has more than it's fair share of those types of individuals.

~ This old dayz story is about one such person...

My first jump instructor.

A little background:
I had always wanted to try jumping as long back
as I can remember.
I was probably about 5 or 6 years old and my dad had an old P.O.S.
J-3 Cub, he and I would go to local 'Fly-In' events around the Midwest.
The main reason I would go along was to hopefully get to see some 'Parachute Men' that often would entertain at these small events....

I think they called themselves
"Demo Jumpers"...;)

And they were really the only part of the aviation experience that held any interest for me.
My father always gave me everything he
could find about skydiving to read.

Fast forward to the mid 70's ~

I'm 18...
Wild & Crazy by anyone's measure,
I actually LIKE it when my dad tells people I'm
" a bubble and a half - away from level "

After street racing one summer night in my
'67 Goat Rag top, with a guy my age in a
brand new Trans-Am...
We stop at a bar to 'talk cars' when I see
a belly wart on the front seat of the T-A...!B|

An hour and a 12 pack later...
I'm signed up for a FJC on the Saturday next.

The dropzone is located 35-40 mile from home,
in the middle of a farm in central Illinois.
Black tops, gravel roads...turn left at the second cow....:S

A real hard place to find...in fact, I get there
almost an hour late for the in progress class,
which consists of one other guy...

A fellow FJ student that is as shocked to see me
as I am to see him!
Just back from Vietnam, we'd sat next to each
other in some High School classes.

"What are YOU doing here?" we asked each other!

My initial introduction to the course Instructor
was a stern-
"You're LATE...go through it with us, but if I don't think you're ready you can pay again and take the class over!" [:/]

He's a relatively short, fat, bald guy...
early 40's, in a business suit.

We're jumping off a picnic table next to
a grass strip, in the middle of a corn field
~ mid August...
and this guy is wearing a TIE!

Before long, it was apparent that this guy was,
in addition to being a VERY experienced jumper,
multi talented, successful, and
EXTREMELY intelligent!

I'm talking "NASA" smart here...
chart topper in the IQ drawer.
I know people like this...
and they tend to scare me a little.

Human brain mush can only hold so much "stuff"
...usually when someone has most their mush in one drawer,
some other drawer doesn't get enough.
It's all about balance.

The class continues on through the morning,
again...having read everything I could about the subject,
I believe I've 'caught up' and then some, in
regard to the material.
I have given all the due respect I believe the
scene calls for to "Mr. MENSA"
...but the tone and manner in which he
continues to address me has me ill at ease.

He just looks and talks to me 'different'
than the other student,
and it's REALLY getting on my nerves!

I got 100% on the 3 page exam...and
we get the command to 'Gear Up'.

Hot and uncomfortable in my canvas jumpsuit,
B-4, T-10, 28' no-mod, no-pilot chute
reserve, (THINK about that for a minute)
the nervous realization finally set in...
(oh shit!)
WE'RE GOING!

As the three of us walk to the 182, I ask if
there is anything
I need to know about operating the AOD...
(nothing about it was mentioned during the course)

"OKAY...That's it! ">:(
My instructor bellows at me...
"WHO ARE YOU?!"
"Do you now,
or have you EVER... worked for any law enforcement
agency....City, County, State, or Federal...
including the FAA????"

HUH....?! ME...??:)
I'm confused, what the hell is he talking about?

My USMC buddy starts laughing, telling him
...No Way!
I know him, the only time he's associated with
law enforcement,
~he needs BAIL money!:ph34r:

How then do you seem to know so much about all this stuff, the "I" barks at me...
I never mentioned the Sentential...
much less called it an AOD!

Oh...well I've been doing my homework,
I've ALWAYS wanted to try skydiving, I said.:$

We stood silent just looking at each other for
several moments...hard core eye contact!

In that second, the mood calmed and,
...I actually got a smile.

Big guys go first, he said...you are last in...!
........And we're off.

I'm sitting in the student position,
back to the panel next to the open door as we bounce along the uneven grass strip, finally
breaking ground.
The adrenaline is really pumping now,
and I'm wondering if I'll 'like' skydiving~
...or if I just like the IDEA of skydiving!

I'm afraid of heights...
and my knee hanging out the open door
has my heart in my throat. :|

WHAT have I gotten myself into ?!

...Breathe deep, calm down, and from NOW ON,
be more careful about what you WISH for,
I tell myself.

I'm staring down at my reserve,
there is a grass hopper on it looking back up
at me, reflecting a similar terror in it's eyes!

Probably never been up this high before I think...
all the while trying not to notice the wind tangling
up the laces on the worn out jump boot,
that has somehow come undone.

As my car keeps getting smaller and smaller,
...ever further away.:(

The Instructor slaps my leg, ask if I'm okay...?

Damn..he IS fat!
His head squishing out of all the possible sections
it can, of the yellow hockey helmet.
His eyes now wide and intense,
he grins at me like a kid in my neighborhood
that had to ride the 'Short Bus' to the 'Special' school...!

Hummm.....!
Same fucking helmet too, I think to myself.

WHAT HAVE I GOTTEN MYSELF INTO~
I mentally scream to the grasshopper,
who by now is hanging on for dear life to
the exposed springs of the worn pack opening bands on the reserve...
...that in my mind surely must contain nothing
but the 'stash' this Bozo is so worried about
some cop finding.

Taking notice of the deep relationship I'm developing with my insect soul mate,
'Crazy Eyes' plucks my little buddy
from his perch...
holding him gently in two fingers, he proceeds to open his mouth and with a wink,
bites the lil' bugger in HALF...

Then gingerly replaces what's left of the kicking bloody mess back on my RESERVE!:o

My gaze goes from the twitching legs and guts
in front of me to the devils own grin in a Cooper helmet before me, and then back again.

...Suddenly I'm calm, as it finally hits me.

Oh...I get it...to be a skydiver...B|
Ya just gotta be FUCKING CRAZY!

Everyone I know tells me I got THAT covered!

So I stare BACK into those un nerving blinkers
that are popping out of the
fat bald grinning bastard in front of me,
who just happens to hold the likelihood of my continuing earthy presence in his hands...
and return his wink as I open my mouth,
~and pop in the 'leftovers' of his in-flight meal.

" FUCKIN' A...! "
he yells to the pilot~
"If this kid wasn't a skydiver when he got here...
He's one NOW!":P

A few minutes later,
some very important things in my life
happened in very quick succession....

Standing on the 182's wheel looking back in,
I understood why it was I had been looking
forward to this for so long.

Throwing my arch to the wind,
I kept eye contact with my instructor
until I actually felt the snap of the break cord separating from the static line.

Total awareness like never before,
I knew the EXACT instant that I no longer was connected to the plane...

...I know because it was at that moment that I got "Hooked"

That I ... was Home!





If that were the story in itself...
it would have merit regarding the original subject
of this post.
~Someone that you meet that has a permanent lasting effect on your life.

So seldom does it go both ways.

In an odd twist...
conflicting destinies joined through unexplainable quirks of fate..
.the improbable alignment of some obscure
planets somewhere no doubt.

That day...
I made my very first jump, opening an amazing door in my life.
Actually, we all made two that first day...

The 2nd jump later that afternoon, was the
LAST jump my F~J~I ever made!:|

When he got out of bed that morning he surely never thought it would be his LAST day of jumping for the rest of his life.

In so much as I couldn't have conceived that morning, I would be started on a path of a life centered on jumping.

No...
it's not what you're thinking,
he's still with us...in fact we still talk about 2-3
times a year...ran into him a couple weeks back.

It's spooky when we thought about the story
of 'our' relationship.


That it's because of him that I'm a skydiver.

~And it's because of me...he's not.

Funny how things work out sometimes.













~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~

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Twardo,

Once again, a great story. I just know you are going to tell us why your hockey helmeted FJI was never again to jump because of you. Right.B|:P

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B-4, T-10, 28' no-mod, no-pilot chute
reserve,
(THINK about that for a minute)
the nervous realization finally set in...
(oh shit!)



This is what it looks like coming out. Yahoo! Are we having fun yet.:P

Sparky
My idea of a fair fight is clubbing baby seals

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Twardo,

Once again, a great story. I just know you are going to tell us why your hockey helmeted FJI was never again to jump because of you. Right.B|:P

Quote

B-4, T-10, 28' no-mod, no-pilot chute
reserve,
(THINK about that for a minute)
the nervous realization finally set in...
(oh shit!)



This is what it looks like coming out. Yahoo! Are we having fun yet.:P

Sparky



Yes it is, and if that isn't just after exit, it's going to hurt too....

-----------------------
Roger "Ramjet" Clark
FB# 271, SCR 3245, SCS 1519

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(THINK about that for a minute)



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I'm refering to the fact...
that there was an AOD on it! :S

...That was one reason the guy was questioning
my background.

I asked a lot of questions that most FJS wouldn't...

Like~ What, no pilotchute!:o

...and were the T-10s' modified with
a 7 TU?;)

He thought I was a 'ringer' from another DZ...
or WORSE!:ph34r:












~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~

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Yes it is, and if that isn't just after exit, it's going to hurt too....



The way the canopy is blowing up around him instead of blowing back towards his legs, I would say he is 8 to 10 seconds out at least.
And it is going to hurt like hell.:o

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Wow, I haven't seen that photo in years. As I remember, it is Ken Rounds and the photo by Ralph White over Lancaster, CA; yes????
Actually, the next photo in the sequence is even better with that look on his face.



I confess, I took the picture form PPM Vol. I. It looks like it could be lancaster, but it was before my time.:P

Sparky
My idea of a fair fight is clubbing baby seals

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This story isn't a scary one but it kind of ties into some of the stuff Airtwardo mentioned in his story.

It's amazing the comradery and bond that develops between skydivers. It must have something to do with the danger that is shared or something else too abstract for me to figure out.

Last Christmas I went skiing with my family at a distant ski run which I had never been to before (Discovery Basin). There isn't any jumping going on in Montana that time of year so I figured I might as well do the next best thing and ski.

We got to the run early. My daughters wanted to sleep a while in the truck before hitting the slopes. I figured the heck with that, and decided to get a few runs in on my new fangled shaped skiis.

It was a beautiful morning. The sun was shining and you could see for miles riding up on the lift. And then I heard this boisterous laugh from someone above me on the lift. There was something familiar about that. Then there was that laugh again. Somebody was definitely enjoying themselves.

When we got to the top of the mountain I skiied over to this guy to get a better look. He turned his helmeted head and there was Andy, the guy who put me out on my first freefall, almost 35 years earlier. With a big smile he stuck out his big paw to give a shake. Then he said, you remember Karna don't you. I turned the other way and there was Karna Sunby. The only person in our club who jumped a Thunderbow. I'll be darned. She used to be a stewardess when the rest of us were college bums. I hadn't seen her in about 25 years. She had a little gray in her hair, but she was still a good looker.

I explained to Andy that I didn't know any of the runs, so he said, "come ski with us, and I'll show you the hill." So for several hours that morning we were kids again having fun. Whenever someone wiped out we'd wait for them while they got up. When not flying down the hill we told old stories, and asked about other old jumpers and skydives made long ago. And we did take a lot of breaks. None of us were marathon athletes any more.

Then we came to this yellow tape. One of the better runs was closed off. Andy said we really need to ski this. Karna said, "I don't know?", and she had since enough not to come with us. So there Andy and I went....Racing down through untracked powder, almost waist deep in places. A couple of old dogs trying to show the world we could still do it, and then sneaking back in the lift line before anyone could holler at us. On the ride up, there was Andy's loud laugh, and that big hand to shake. "By God we did it!" and then another laugh....Just like the old days after a successful jump.

Andy went on to explain there were a couple of other old jumpers coming up Guazzo and Max (who we jumped with in the 70's). They were all staying down at Andy's cabin on a lake. Come on down he said, "I've got lot's of room." I felt bad to explain I had other commitments.

We weren't the only skiiers that were skiing together that morning. Karna had her nephew. Andy's son was skiing with Russ Berree's boy. (Russ is another old jumper from the past.) My daughters were undoubtedly on the mountain someplace by then, enjoying their snow boards. It was good to know there was another generation coming up, who were a lot like us. Someday they'd take our place, (even if they didn't jump like some of their crazy relatives did.)

It was kind of hard to say goodbye. Maybe this was the last time some of us old farts would meet up again. Whenever I looked at Andy I couldn't help but think he looked a lot like my old Grandpa. He probably felt the same about me.

So if you know an old jumper you haven't seen in a while, get in touch with them. You probably miss each other more than you think.....Steve1

I

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This was the center photo in a 3-photo sequence of the deployment that appeared in Skydiver Magazine in the summer of '64; not sure exactly which month.
The first photo is of Ken Rounds in freefall with nothing out and reaching for the reserve ripcord; the second photo is the one shown here; and the third photo is Ken at line stretch and with a substantial grimace on his face.
Like I say, for trivia night down at the tavern.

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Three Golshen Events . . .
(I might be spelling that wrong)

This is no reflection on her, she's a good pilot, and one of the most beautiful woman I've ever met, this is just "stuff" happens.

Event one – We took off from Elsinore with a first freefall student (first jump off static line) and the student, a young lady, refused to jump. We made another pass, while I talked to her, but it was no go, and when a woman says no, I take it seriously. I switched off her AOD and we came down and landed. By now the student was very upset with herself and we exited the plane and are standing next to the tail but just outside the propblast.

I don't think there is anything harder for a student than walking back in with un-used gear still on their backs, so I started removing it. Goshen didn't realize we were still there and gunned the motor and hit the left rudder. Suddenly the tail is swinging our way and I had just enough time to push the student out of the way, but the horizontal stabilizer hit me hard. Golshen felt the impact, shut down, and came running. She was very apologetic, but in the end it was my own fault. The student made her jump later that day and is still jumping today.

Event two – We'd just dropped a load of static line students and were coming down to get another. We approached the runway over the lake and we're just starting to flare. I was on my knees looking out the windshield when I saw another aircraft rolling for take off in the opposite direction. I yelled it out and Golshen fire-walled it, but now as the nose came up we lost sight of the other plane. We missed each other by feet. The other AC didn't have a radio and never saw us.

Event Three – We took off with a full load of static line students and were turning onto jump run and I had one student hooked up and sitting in the door. A piston rod let go and blew through the side of the engine case. Oil was spraying all over the windshield and blowing in through the open door, the vibration felt as if we are about to throw a prop. Golshen looked at me and shook her head.

I pushed the hooked up student out the door and put the other two out on their reserves while Golshen is shutting things down. I left at 1500-feet behind the Dairy thinking Golshen would follow. (The AC really felt like was about to come apart). She managed to land on the runway and everybody is shaken, but okay.

All three events happened in a two month time span and Golshen and I spent some time trying to figure out which one of us was marked. But, in the end we chalked it up to a new phrase that was in the lexicon at the time. Shit happens . . .

NickD :)BASE 194

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Picture this....

Flying to Tahlequah for the nationals 1976 or 77???? from Austin

4 of us in a Cessna 210;)

Rick W left seat,Me right seat,Big Al in the back with Barbara .We had all our gear with us,except Barbara,who didnt own any yet.

Took off from Austin,weather was perfect,got close to Dallas and begin running into isolated T-storms,north of Dallas,weather is getting worse,vis is dropping,air turbulence increasing........we are dodging cells headed for northeast Oklahoma.We miss Tahlequah on visual,the weather was so bad,and are somewhere over Nortwestern Arkansas (nothing but trees[:/]),fuel not an issue yet but will become one real soon,Rick finally flips on the ADF figures out we are 40 or 50 miles past the airport,starting to rain real hard now..........I see Al rummaging around in the cargo area of the 210.....
He pulls out his rig,but doesnt say a word.....I begin to think about getting my rig out......Barbara is looking around nervously,then I look at her and say........

You know Barbara,there are 4 people in this airplane but only 3 parachutes:o:P:DEveryone in the aircraft except Barbara burst out laughing.......

She didnt appreciate my warped sense of humor......

We found the airport a short time later and Rick shot a perfect landing in a driving T-storm.

It took a couple of drinks later that evening,but she finally accepted my apology:)
Marc SCR 6046 SCS 3004


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This happened back in the late 70's at a DZ in
Charlotte Michigan. A load of us went up in the
182 for a four way. Things may have changed
in the years since, but back then it was popular
for some jumpers who thought they knew better
to load the plane in various stages of dress.
Some would walk on with the jumpsuit and rig in their
arms. Others with a jumpsuit on and the rig riding
their shoulders, and others all geared up ready
to exit.

Our ride up was uneventful and the exit went
as planned. Our hero was wearing a Stewart
Sweethog container system with a square main and
round reserve. In freefall, we were so focused on
completing formations that not even the jumper
himself noticed that he had forgot to put the
leg straps on
... that is until it was time to open.

The jumper whipped out his pilot chute and as
opening occurred, slid down the harness until the
junction at the main harness caught in his armpits.
This was opening shock #1.

Due to uneven loading on the risers, the jumper had
a malfunction. From my perspective some 30 yards
behind and above, I could tell a cutaway was ahead
and thought something didn't look right, but things
happened so fast I didn't realize at the time how
wrong things were for the guy (in?) the harness.
Somehow he managed to cut away the main and
deploy his reserve without falling out. Opening shock
#2.

He rode the rest of the way down grabbing harness
with crossed arms, unable to control his direction. The
landing was brutal but he was so rattled he didn't even
care. He was incoherent most of the rest of the day
and almost gave up jumping. Even thinking back
on that day, as I write this, it makes my pulse race
and palms sweat. We crucified ourselves for not
doing gear checks, but it happened. and maybe others
can take home a lesson.

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We crucified ourselves for not
doing gear checks, but it happened. and maybe others
can take home a lesson.
-----------------------------------------------------------

A few months ago I was sittng in student position in a very small 182. I was crammed in so tight I figured I would not be able to get up on my knees on jump run and not get a gear check. At about 7 grand it started raining and the pilot decended to land. He was able to taxi in to the hanger so we could all get out of the plane and be dry. I was the first out and as I stepped out my reserve pop top hit the step of the cessna! If I would have climbed out from a seated position in the plane at 10 grand I and the rest of the load probobly would have been screwed.

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That it's because of him that I'm a skydiver.

~And it's because of me...he's not.

Funny how things work out sometimes.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------



You gonna give us the rest??? Please?

jon




Quote





Had to give that one some thought...:)

It's actually a not very pretty story.

I didn't before,
and won't now mention the guys name for
obvious reasons....
but the "Cliff Notes" version may give someone
else a chance to consider possible consequences.
So often, too high a price for doing
"somethin' dumb".

Like I said above, the guy had a real
impressive brainpan, and after our jumps that
day he, the other FJS & I sat watching the other
club members enjoying their day in the sky.

As I may have mentioned in some prior posts,
the place I started jumping and hung out at
for 4-5 years in the 70's was a small 'private'
club....
re; Outlaw!

They taught students and did demos only
as a means to provide fuel & maintainance
funds for the club owned aircraft.
If you were a club member...
there was no cost to jump, but you were
expected to assist with students
and / or demos.

I fit in well there because I've also been known
to play a bit fast & loose with the rules from
time to time.....
...then anyway. ;)

It hadn't bothered me at all to have to hold
the pilot's beer during the taxi - takeoff
segment of my 1st jump...
and it most definitely wasn't his first of the day!

They weren't TOTALLY bonkers...
"Students" couldn't partake until after their
load...Errr....
at least not FIRST JUMP students anyway.:$

So...
we're pounding down the Buds...(ahh..yeah)
all afternoon and into the night.

It was great finally getting to be a part of parachuting.
My instructor and I hit it off fantastically following
the initial uneasiness.

He had tons of stories, and took the time to
explain in detail EVERY question I had about
the sport.
He was very into the psychological aspects and
the personality types of skydivers.

He really liked how when he was trying to
mind fuck me with the bug eating...

I threw it right back at him.B|


He was also rather impressed with the
'survival kit' I kept in the trunk of the GTO...
and seemed to be making it his goal to finish
all of everything I 'travel' with...
.... I guess we ALL were!

By Midnight...
most everyone else had left the area save the
three of us and one other 'hardcore' club regular...

After many HIGH speed passes down the runway
in my Goat,
and shooting all the .45 ammo I had with me
at the Vodka, Gin & Jack Black bottles we'd
emptied, we realized we could still make last
call in the bar at some podunk farm town
about 8-9 miles from the DZ.

With the top down, and all 425 horses of a
Pontiac 'Super Duty' 455 pulling us at .8 mach!
...we made it in time for a 1/2 dozen or so,
PRIOR to last call.

Looking back...
Disaster was imminent!
Each one of us trying to out-impress the other.
The 4th guy, the other club member was
actually EATING his beer glass after every round! :S


Man....I just KNEW I was gonna love skydiving!
:ph34r::ph34r::ph34r:



3am back at the drop zone,
plans were made regarding us students
making a couple more jumps later that day..
...Sunday.

And we went on our way...

My Instructor center punched a light pole
about 90-100 mph...
In downtown Davenport, Iowa.

He was only 3-4 miles from his home,
had made it 40 some miles to there, WITHOUT
hitting anything, which is the real miracle!

I'd made it the same distance, in the opposite
direction...considerably higher rate of speed
without a scratch.

The other two guys slept in the peas.

I made S/L jumps 3 & 4 on Sunday with
another "I" ...then went to the hospital to see him.

He'd broken his "thing"...[:/]

...EVERYTHING!

Was hospitalized 4 months, with another 6
of rehab...


But.....there's MORE!

I didn't miss a weekend of jumping the rest of
the year, and often went to the Quad Cities to
visit him...

We were like brothers, this guy was a
3 digit "D", an I-E, R-E, a National Judge...

a SKYDIVER! B|

I was his 'proto gee' so to speak...
jumpmaster, demo jumper...in the sport
under a year.

We'd talked a lot about everything...[:/]
...everything except that night.

About a year after the wreck, he came back
out to the DZ , not to jump...YET,
but to socialize.
The sun was down and the beer was cold, and
for the first time we began talking about
'that night'.

Always a 'deep' thinker, he was explaining to
me how the problem was..he didn't know what
fear was...

That he had NEVER felt fear in his life...
yada yada yada...and that the lack of fear,
he realized, meant he had no real 'limits'.

(That ideology can kill a person!)

...and he felt "I" had the same problem.

(Trust me..I don't!) :ph34r:

I said it wasn't lack of fear
that almost killed him..but a lack of
BLACK COFFEE! :P

(He'd since that night quit drinking)

And HELL dude...hop in my car....you're sober,
I'll prove ya wrong!

We strap in the Lil' GTO and make a pass down
the grass strip, about 80 mph,
I punch the emergency brake and crank the
steering wheel,
we're spinning like a top on the damp grass
...come to a stop...looking over I smiled
and said,
~ How 'bout it....YOU SCARED?!?

Ahhhh...He was!

Dumb thing to do, because he got real quiet...
sat away from everyone for an hour or two...
freaked him out! :|

I apologized a few times...it was ignored.

Running low on Budweiser...
I was 'volunteered' to make the beer run,
and talked him into taking the drive into town
with me.

Promising to 'be good', which I was! :)

On the way back....out of no where,
...I get punched between the horns, and he
steps out of my car at 50 mph!
I slam on the brakes in time to see him
leaping over the fence and into a cornfield,
we're like 5 miles from the DZ...10pm.

I told the story back at the DZ...
(HAD to get the beer back, they were WAITING!)
Everyone just figured he'd eventually turn up...
his car was there.

Yup!...he did,
6am the next morning he was pounding on a
local farm house...sans chothing...wanting to use
their phone since he'd lost his keys! :(

Back in for another "Tune Up" with the lab coats...
Recommended he avoid stressful situations
-at all cost!

He'd bruised his melon major leauge,
pin balling off the light pole after going
through the wind screen.

I guess it must have really shuffled his
note cards pretty good...!

I didn't see him again until he came out to
present me with my Gold Wings...years later.

I thanked him and told him how I really owed
him a lot, he said the same to me...

He'd gone on to other things,
life is good and he was happy...!




~He Lied~















~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~

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here you go, I inappropriately put this in the middle of a safety day thread , not realising (not in US) that was a serious discussion.

***********

In my my first skydiving career I seemed to accumulate power failure/bail out incidents:

Jump 1 Australia (really 1, 1st static line) C182, noise stops completely 20ft of the deck, luckily on a long asphalt runway so he just put it down again. Not great gliders C182s but good enough!

Much later on one visit to the US, spluttering smoking Beech D18 at Coolidge, 10 grand so we calmly line up and do the dive

A week later spluttering (but non smoking) beech D18 at 5 grand at Greene County Louisiana, everyone decides to leave slightly less calmly

A year later again a Beech D18 in Oz at 3 grand(I'm not getting in another one of those suckers, as much as I love em....are they still flying? US guys?) pilot gets sick in flight and is barely conscious...smart arse at the door just yell "I'm going for help!!" and leaves....errr we figure he's lazy enough not to just get out just anywhere so we "must" be over the DZ, so we all leave , much less calmy than I recall any off my unplanned US exits; but then we are lower and unconscious pilots conjure up really bad mental images compared with spluttering engines. He was right! right over the top, thanks Bob.

not quite in the same category but I also managed to be on a load where a student sitting in the door of an Islander (twin engine , high wiing, mini otter style, non turbine) has his front mounted reserve fall on his lap. The period in which everyone looked at it and froze seemed to last 30 mins but I expect was 1 second. His instructor started to push him out, there was a large bang and he was gone. The side of the plane had opened up like the big guy upstairs had attacked us with his giant can opener.

You know, typing this I wonder why I am still alive and returning to jumping...I guess I like the thrills:S

BTW everybody survived (Islander boy was injured but it was minor when you looked at what he did to the plane, I assumed he was dead) and also....no animals were injured in the making of these experiences.

If anyone wants to start a thread re formation loads and exiting only to almost go through the windscreen of a miss-placed chase plane...I can contribute

BS and may you have as much luck to you as I have had

Steve

PS: related story , I was "courting" the neighbouring (to the DZ) farmers daughter. I was at their place and a C182 passes over head near exit hieght (3 miles straight line to the DZ), splutter cough...4 bodies appear..land in front yard and I am there for DZ taxi service, no probs. Talk to pilot that night in the pub, still pissing himself laughing (sorry dont know the US term)...he said the engine coughed started to fail, he felt OK as he had plenty of glide time to the DZ, turns around to say " I'll take you blokes back to near the DZ and then I'll put it down"... all he sees is a flurry of containers(rear view) and he is sitting in an empty plane. Nothing like decisive thinkers....actually he thought it was cool , one less thing to think about and he could focus on putting it down, which he did.
regards, Steve
the older I get...the better I was

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Quote

Great story Airtwardo! Tell us another one.....Steve1




Quote



"It wasn't as close as it looked...HONEST!"
:)



I got a call to do a 4th of July demo last year
here in my hometown.

I've gotten to do the demo for the past few
years, jumping with a PRO team based close by.

It's a huge event and has gotten bigger and
better with every passing year.

This time organization and coordination were
at a premium!

The team was to meet a few days prior to
the performance so we could be scrutinized
by representatives from the Navy.

The idea was for us to jump with the
American Flag an hour and change before
sunset.
The timing had to be precise.
The presentation was to be in conjunction
with the starting of "The Judds" concert...

The Flag landing had to be timed with the last
note of the National Anthem,
because mere seconds later a group of 4
NAVY F-18's would be doing a
low level flyby over the concert crowd...
B|

The promoter sold them on the concept
boasting that we the jumpers could easily
make the hack's 20 second time window.

We took and hour to plan the logistics out
and went up to make a few 'practice' jumps to
show those concerned that in fact we would be
able to land where and more critically...

WHEN we said we could.


The first test jump was within nine seconds...
the second jump was right at two!

"Close enough for us " we were told
and we packed up happy and confident we
would do as well or even better come show time.


I dropped the wife and kids off
mid afternoon to enjoy the carnival and
various other events going on through out
the Independence Day Celebration downtown
and headed to the local private airport we
would be staging from.

After checking our parachutes, flags, smoke
and carefully going over the plan several times
we're off!

I'm spotting the load...
we all have air to ground comm. in our
helmets, which we continue to check as we que
for the drop.
The pilot has a digital stop watch in front of him
on the dash, mine is mounted next to my
altimeter.

The exit altitude will be 4000' feet AGL with a
free fall to 3, the spot is over a clear area at the
far end of the crowd allowing us to fly in a semi
stacked formation over the area, landing on the
far side into a Police controlled LZ not far from
the stage.

After several 'practice' orbits it's finally time
for the HOT RUN!

Everything is going as planned....
I make some minor corrections and call for the cut.
As I'm rocking forward out the door with one foot
on the step...

The pilot yells to me~ "ABORT! ABORT! ABORT!"
:o

Now I've been doing this long enough to know
the P.I.C. has the final word...and that one of
the major rules of doing demos is;
When in doubt ~ DON'T get out!

But the clock is ticking...and to be sure I yell
to the driver,
"DID YOU SAY...NO GO?!?"

YES! he shouts back, intently immersed in ATC comm. on his David Clark's.

WE HAVE TRAFFIC INBOUND...he says to me,
WE'RE ON A HOLD!

ARE YOU SURE? I again asked him...
There is SUPPOSED to be inbound traffic!

"Civilian Chopper" he calls back to me.

We're in a slow turn heading back to the
jump run staging area, frantically trying to
get this all cleared up when the show boss
yells at me on the helmet radio...

The Chopper is 3 miles clear...he's filming you... you're LATE!
GO!.....GO!....GOOOOOOOOOO!!!
:S

We're WAY off spot by now...

I call for 90 RIGHT!
and look back to the other jumpers shouting-
we are LATE,
Spot is SHORT,...TAKE IT DOWN TO 2 GRAND!!!

And roll out the door in the turn, forgoing
any kind of a cut!

These guys are all REALLY GOOD demo
jumpers and know that shit's gone sideways
and everyone instantly reverts to the
JUNGLE RULES mode.

I'm tracking hard in the opposite direction
of the flight path to give everyone as much
room as possible during opening.

In the saddle at 2
...I check my air and rapidly begin to deploy
my smokes, riser turning to get me back
over the LZ.

The flags are out...
I can hear the National Anthem through my
ear piece as the show boss is urging us to
"GET IT DOWN GUYS...GOTTA GET IT DOWN!"


I figure I'm in fat city since the smokes
are burning and I'm in a radical spin right
over the open LZ...
I catch a glimpse of the flag bearers for
a millisecond during each rotation as I
drop way below them and glance
at the stop watch....

........plus 45 seconds!


DAMN! .........WE ARE GOOD!
:ph34r:


I stop the spin and level out at around 500'...
I'm cheating toward the front of the LZ to give
as much room as possible to the other guy's
that should be above me headed this way....

Some movement catches my attention off
to the right and I go into 1/2 - 3/4 brakes
and check for traffic all around me.

As I start a left to final...straight in front of me...Ahhh...
'at least' a couple hundred yards is a
gray helmeted, dark visor Hornet Jockey...
looking right at me shaking his head
in disgust.

As I pull my sunglasses down to hang
around my neck in preparation for landing~

(looks dumb turning low to avoid a scratch in the lens)

~The thunderous exhaust noise following
a couple seconds behind the fast mover
has me thinking how I have GOT to get
a helmet cam for these things!
:)
Setting up my flare...Hummm!

Wonder how those guys beat me DOWN!



......We're signing autographs by the stage
as the concert begins.

Surrounded by kids and well wishers
I keep looking past them at my darling
sweetie, who's glare is burning a hole in my forehead!
/>:(\


She's staring at me like I'm wearing one of
her nighties...
I've seen this look before...
~(NOT for THAT reason!)~
:$

...and it's NOT GOOD!
:|


Fortunately...she knows the drill.

She's a professional pilot with over 20,000
Hours and use to perform at air shows
herself.
She's watched me perform at hundreds of
events over the past 10 years...
and holds off on the impending 'Shit Storm'
until we're off together alone.


"WHAT WAS THAT!" she demands...
"You can't do CRW with fighter jets!!!"


"Everybody ELSE has 3 feet of front risers
getting down, the flags look like 'down planes' behind them...
...and there you are 'lolly gagging' the view!"


(Like I said..she KNOWS.....!)
:(


"Errrrr.....WHAT!?"
I sheepishly try to defend myself,
"I saw him and I had PLENTY of room!"
:D



"OH YEAH???" she sternly retorts....
"What about the one BEHIND YOU!?!?!"



"Oh.....Ahhhhh........Behind Me?"
[:/]















~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~

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