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steve1

Scary stories from the old days?

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Similar one, a couple of pretty girls on the DZ, one of the boys put them aboard the 185 for an observatory ride, to fill a load, and borrowed a couple of jumpers rigs for them to wear. Very short briefing of "If the pilot tells you to get out, do so and pull this handle"....

Of course he forgot to tell Pawa the pilot that they were just taking a ride, and at 9 grand, after the jumpers had left, these two were in the back when he turned around and told them to hurry up, "GET OUT!!".....

This reduced them to whimpering jelly, and they whimpered and gibbered even more when he repeated it even more loudly and forcefully.....luckily the lightbulb in his head pinged on right about then, and he closed the door and brought the plane down...

Those two girls left a shower of dust and rocks as they departed the DZ....
My computer beat me at chess, It was no match for me at kickboxing....

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Now that was funny!



Funny? One of the few times i actually LOL had tears running down face and my side hurt from laughing so much. it was hilarious. You cant make this stuff up.

When my one tandem skydiving boss heard me LOL, saw tears me holding my stomach she was ready to call escort me to the freezer. When she read the story she had the reaction.

I don't think I'll forget this one, but i'm old so maybe I print it out, blow it up to poster size and hang it on the wall.

When I start asking my boss why's that thing is hanging on the wall. She'll know its time to escort me to the freezer Lock it and duct tape the lid.

Where was I?

Damn almost forgot it's time for my nap.

R

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California Parachutist ID card #237



California parachutist ID card #57.:)
Sparky

http://i397.photobucket.com/albums/pp55/mjosparky/Skydiving/CPIC0010.jpg





Cy Perkins Parachute Club #100. ;)



You kept yours too.. I ran across mine and wondered if anybody else kept theirs.

Larry
D4021, C8295, California Parachutist ID card #237, USPA ASO WE/10 7022 7202. Never did send my NSCR from '73 in but still have the old paper work filled out.

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California Parachutist ID card #237



California parachutist ID card #57.:)
Sparky

http://i397.photobucket.com/albums/pp55/mjosparky/Skydiving/CPIC0010.jpg





Cy Perkins Parachute Club #100. ;)



You kept yours too.. I ran across mine and wondered if anybody else kept theirs.

Larry



http://i397.photobucket.com/albums/pp55/mjosparky/Skydiving/CyPerkins.jpg

http://i397.photobucket.com/albums/pp55/mjosparky/Skydiving/Perrisvalley.jpg
:)

Sparky
My idea of a fair fight is clubbing baby seals

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I still have some 'staff' tickets from the 'old' Archway in Sparta, Il.

damn man. you jumped at dave verner's? was it 91 when kirk had the magnet men team? I was jumping there the last few years they were open. I only went up to vandalia one time after they moved there
i have on occasion been accused of pulling low . My response. Naw I wasn't low I'm just such a big guy I look closer than I really am .


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I still have some 'staff' tickets from the 'old' Archway in Sparta, Il.

damn man. you jumped at dave verner's? was it 91 when kirk had the magnet men team? I was jumping there the last few years they were open. I only went up to vandalia one time after they moved there



No..it was in the late 70's, Kirk was still a few years from his FJC. ;)

I remember sitting on the couch in Dave's living room asking a young Kirk if he was 'gonna be a Skydiver too' ?

"I dunno, maybe... It's okay I guess" :)

Freakin' World Champion! B|

Thank God he wasn't EXCITED about 'maybe' jumpin'! :ph34r:










~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~

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Not scary but somewhat funny.

I was in the Air National Guard and the parachute shop handled both the pilot's emergency parachutes and the drag chutes for the aircraft. So, it was a fairly busy place. When a new pilot would show up, the old rigger would make sure to leave a loop of line hanging out of the pilot's rig (like is was a sloppy job). When the pilot would bring it back to him, he would quickly apologize, take some scissors and cut most of the loop off, then stuff the two ends up under the flaps so they could not be seen. Then say something like, “How’s that?” and hand it back to him with a straight face. The line was an unattached dummy, just for the joke, so no damage or risk.

I never got to see it happen but everyone enjoyed recounting the times that it had happened to the new guy.
Instructor quote, “What's weird is that you're older than my dad!”

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Similar one, a couple of pretty girls on the DZ, one of the boys put them aboard the 185 for an observatory ride, to fill a load, and borrowed a couple of jumpers rigs for them to wear. Very short briefing of "If the pilot tells you to get out, do so and pull this handle"....

Of course he forgot to tell Pawa the pilot that they were just taking a ride, and at 9 grand, after the jumpers had left, these two were in the back when he turned around and told them to hurry up, "GET OUT!!".....

This reduced them to whimpering jelly, and they whimpered and gibbered even more when he repeated it even more loudly and forcefully.....luckily the lightbulb in his head pinged on right about then, and he closed the door and brought the plane down...

Those two girls left a shower of dust and rocks as they departed the DZ....



That's a funny one.

We went up to jump one day. Our pilot had a cute little thing sitting at his side, next to the door, with a rig on. She asked me about the coming jump.

I jokingly said, "You know we're taking you with us."

At that point her eyes got really big. She didn't want to talk after that....

When we finally openned the door, she had a big frown, and a death grip on her boyfriend's seat. She wasn't taking any chances.

I guess I have a twisted sense of humor....[:/]

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I don't think I told this story here. It kind of shows my sick sense of humor.

Back in the early 70's I was static line jumping with the army. Some of the guys I jumped with truly hated it. Since I was an army jumpmaster and skydiver, I used to tease others who might be scared to jump.

Maybe I am a bully at heart. Hell, in the army, you were supposed to be a brave bastard, even if you had to fake it.[:/]

At any rate, I had a friend named Melvin. Melvin was a great guy, but he hated to jump. You had to give him credit though, every time he got in the door, he'd jump.

We had a night jump coming up, that would be full equipment, up in the mountains of Utah. I could tell that Melvin was getting real worried about this jump. I figured it was time to have some fun.

"Melvin", I said. "I keep having this dream every night. I see this guy jumping out of a plane, and he keeps falling and falling, then whack, he hits the ground. I run over there, and turn him over, and it's you Melvin.....I wonder if that dream means anything?"

Everyone got a big laugh out of that, but I could tell this really bothered Melvin.....I finally had to quit. Melvin jumped just fine that night. It was just hard for him to do it....[:/]

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"Melvin", I said. "I keep having this dream every night. I see this guy jumping out of a plane, and he keeps falling and falling, then whack, he hits the ground. I run over there, and turn him over, and it's you Melvin.....I wonder if that dream means anything?"

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On the~ 'Wonder if that means anything' dilemma:

I was about 20, confident & cocky ~ teaching a S/L course every weekend at the local DZ.

For several weeks in a row, a rather distinguished looking gentleman would arrive at the drop-zone and stand near the hangar and watch for a few hours.

As the weeks went on he'd slowly get closer, and maybe interject himself from time to time with a question, comment or observation.

He eventually opened up enough that we learned he was extremely religious and was in some ways more than fanatical regarding his dedication and relationship with God.

It was cool though, he wasn't one to quote scripture and impose his belief, he'd only answer questions pertaining to religion when asked. He would go on for as long as and with as much detail as, whomever he was speaking with wanted.

My kind of Jesus freak, serious, knowledgeable, perceptive and not pushy.
And he walked the walk... super intelligent, well spoken, a real ambassador of God.

He'd leave when the booze & dope came out, the way he'd kind of unconsciously flinch every time profanity was within earshot actually made me respect the depth of his commitment to living a pure and wholesome lifestyle. I liked the guy!!

Finally one Saturday as the beer light was coming on, he asked to speak with me privately. Oh boy, here it comes I thought, but no instead he simply wanted to pay me for a FJC that he would take the following day.

...but with the stipulation, at Church prior to his coming out to the airport he would be speaking with God.
If his divine creator spoke to him with the message he should NOT go skydiving at that time, could he be refunded without penalty?

Told me he thought highly of me, respected my knowledge and professionalism and wanted to insure it would be me teaching him...'and sharing this fulfillment' (his words) B|

Next day sure enough there he is! Jeans instead of the usual sport-coat, ball-cap on his head and a bible in the back pocket..he was one of the better students I'd had in while.

30 minute call and I'm starting to dress my load, he's on his knees in a jumpsuit off to the side praying. Done with God, I toss him a helmet and get to fitting the rig & reserve.

I'm doing the final check by the plane and I tell him that I'm really glad things went well & that he came out.

Yes, I had had a very lengthy and enlightening talk with the Lord this morning and he assured me that this would be a positive experience and that no harm shall befall me...

He looked me squarely in the eyes and then said,

God told me I'd be fine Jim, but that unfortunately ~ YOU'RE FUCKED!

Shocked AND dumbfounded, Ahhh Gulp! ~ :o ~ Errr HUH?!




:D:D:D




I laughed and slapped the container, but would be lyin' if I said it didn't really get the gears movin' upstairs, ...I damn near didn't wanna get on the plane! :);)











~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~

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When I started Special Forces Training, back in 1970, I was barely twenty years old, and right off the farm. A lot of the guys I trained with at a tour or two in Vietnam. A lot of these guys had some really scarey war stories. And most of them were true.

I remember one older guy. (He seemed fairly normal.) We asked him why he was re-upping, and he said, because, it's the only way I can kill legally....Whoa!....that even scared me, a little!

Some of our S.F. instructors were even scarier than that. Many of them had been in the highlands of Vietnam with only an A-team and a bunch of Mountain-yards, running missions against NVA troops. Some of them had kind of a different out-look on life, (to say the least). I don't remember ever seeing one with a bible.

Every month or so we'd make a jump. Sometimes it was part of our training, sometimes it was just to stay current.

Shortly after I got to Bragg, we went up to make an equipment jump. Like I said, I was right out of High School, fresh off the farm, and I'd never been around real killers....ever![:/]

We got up to jump altitude, and our jump master starts going through his hand signals, and commands. Finally, he comes to where he is supposed to say, "Stand in the door!"

But instead.....he says..."F--- God, and stand in the door!":(

Oh golly! At that point, we all knew we were going to die.....or get struck by lightning, or something bad was going to happen. But you know, nobody even got hurt. The Lord must not have been listening that day.[:/]

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When I started Special Forces Training, back in 1970, I was barely twenty years old, and right off the farm. A lot of the guys I trained with at a tour or two in Vietnam. A lot of these guys had some really scarey war stories. And most of them were true.

I remember one older guy. (He seemed fairly normal.) We asked him why he was re-upping, and he said, because, it's the only way I can kill legally....Whoa!....that even scared me, a little!

Some of our S.F. instructors were even scarier than that. Many of them had been in the highlands of Vietnam with only an A-team and a bunch of Mountain-yards, running missions against NVA troops. Some of them had kind of a different out-look on life, (to say the least). I don't remember ever seeing one with a bible.

Every month or so we'd make a jump. Sometimes it was part of our training, sometimes it was just to stay current.

Shortly after I got to Bragg, we went up to make an equipment jump. Like I said, I was right out of High School, fresh off the farm, and I'd never been around real killers....ever![:/]

We got up to jump altitude, and our jump master starts going through his hand signals, and commands. Finally, he comes to where he is supposed to say, "Stand in the door!"

But instead.....he says..."F--- God, and stand in the door!":(

Oh golly! At that point, we all knew we were going to die.....or get struck by lightning, or something bad was going to happen. But you know, nobody even got hurt. The Lord must not have been listening that day.[:/]


Hi Steve,
'Remember those times from way back when and a few jumpers with an "attitude" like that. I say thankfully only "a few." Havn't heard anyone with a bravado attitude like that on the DZ in ages. There may be some there but fortunately for me they were out of hearing range... or maybe I've just gone deaf from all the airplane noise!
SCR-2034, SCS-680

III%,
Deli-out

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Here's one for the "It seemed like a good idea at the time" category.

This was sometime mid/late 70’s. As a lead in, USPA emergency procedures at the time said if a student gets tangled in the static line and doesn’t acknowledge the jumpmaster signaling he’s going to cut him free, the JM is supposed to slide down the SL, cut the student free and pull his/her reserve (yeah right:)
As most of these stories go, at first everything went well. It was a little awkward going from sitting on the step to sliding down the static line, but I managed to do it without hanging my main container on the step. The first part of the test was to actually test the official emergency procedure of sliding down the SL. I put some serious burns in my gloves but coming to a stop before I got to the end of the SL didn’t happen. At this point I was sky surfing. Even with the 300HP engine in the C-185 it strained to gain altitude with the air anchor (me) hanging in the breeze. In hindsight, we should’ve got more altitude before I climbed out, but that’s the great thing about hindsight. We flew around for a while with the plane unable to get any more altitude, and me having a world of fun, so we pulled onto a jump run at maybe 3500'. Jim climbed out, got a grip in the loop on the SL, the pilot cut the SL and BINK, the SL popped out of Jim’s hand and I was in freefall with the SL flailing behind me. This was why we put the quick release snap on the static line. Except, the SL wasn’t flailing around above me anymore but had horseshoed around my right ankle. The D ring was attached to my right main lift web, and of course my throw out pilot chute is on my right side so there was no way to throw out without asking everything to go around that looped SL. I tried kicking a few times but it wouldn't come loose. I reached back in an attempt to grab the SL to clear it from my ankle, but when my hand approached the SL it just blew away. Two quick tries told me this wouldn’t work. So, I grabbed the SL where it was attached to my harness and reeled it in hand over hand. That thing was a lot longer than I remembered. I don’t think you would’ve been able to click a stopwatch twice in the time between I got the last of the SL reeled in and the throwout was in the air. Thing is, as I watched the pilot chute pull the main off my back, there, a little above and off to my side, was Jim in freefall with his main just leaving his back. When I turned back around to take the opening, things on the ground were a LOT bigger than I've ever seen them in freefall. Before or since, I'm happy to say. Ended up sitting in around 1200 feet. On the ground I asked Jim what the hell HE was doing down there. “I wanted to see what happened” he said. We didn’t try to refine the procedure.

Later while I was packing, an ambulance pulled up. Seemed the local town folk saw the plane flying around with me in tow and thought it was a real emergency. I must have dropped behind the houses and someone called 911. The look on their face was priceless when they asked about the person who was being dragged under the plane and I stood up and said “That was me.” They had come prepared to use a body bag.

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That student in tow climb down the SL scenario, sure got thrashed out at length, don|t know of anzone who ever tried it. Our theory was that the most dangerous part was the SL cutting bit, because it would be under such tension that when it was cut it would twang back like a rubber band and wrap around whoever was on the end of it.

The HUPRA was what we used to solve the problem, but AFAIK it was never used in anger. Most JMs were pretty diligent when controlling the SL.]
My computer beat me at chess, It was no match for me at kickboxing....

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When jumping in the army they used to scare the hell out of everyone, when they said they would foam down the run way, and land with you in tow. And yes, they would cut you away if you put one or both hands on your helmet, and showed that you were responsive. It would be interesting to know if this was ever done.

I used to jumpmaster army jumpers, but never had a knife. I imagine the airforce crew chief had one.

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