OK guys. That's enough. Get a room or something!
Ok another. Mummyfied
Had about 100 jumps in a 10 year time period Mistake No1. Well that will always be mistake no 1.
After this jump I realized that I was treated like new girls to the DZ, you know the ones that get put on jumps they should not have been on. I believe that was because of my last name and parents history, folks would assume I knew it all or had the experience.
We are to do a 4 way meat missile out the 182, basically all take harness grips and roll it off the step. Thinking it would somewhat go head down all from 10,500 (my newly acquired POPS number BTW LOL).
2 of the jumper were more experienced locals, one had no grippers on his military double zip suit. The fourth guy (our premie) had an old Tellesis (sp?) His wife made him wait to get back in the sport till after the newborn arrived, and she came to watch, guess it had been 10 years for him.
They elected to have me spot, I was ok with that, it had been a while but I lied and said NP.
Im spotting and they yell "go go!", I say "no no", I wait then we go. We get in the door the premie took the V position and I was to his left. We leave the AC and I immediately see these god awful 550 gutted lines (big fat lines for those) all around him. I shook him trying to get him to let go, waved, I even did the cut throat thing, still no luck he had a death grip on me. Im waiving nothing is working, the other two are gone and by this time his bag comes up between his legs and smacks him in the face! Im thinking well that should get his FR$%&*%g attention! But now my arms are wrapped in these lines as he lets go of me. When we separate he falls directly below me. My arms still in his lines, the bag is about 1' below me and Im on the edge of his burble and I cant get out of it. I havent started to fall on him but at this point my elbows are tucked to my side, Im waving my hands from the elbows up slapping the bag, saying, praying "go away, go away", "please dont open..." (Shoot now that I think of it that is the second time I have waived 550 lines away from me asking something to go away, when I took the ole cheapo and paper bagged it and tossed it out the door). I finally get my arms out of his lines and just at that time I fell off the side of his burble. Passing the bag and lines I am at his side, I reach out to just barely push off of him to give us both some space. I cant describe the cold feeling my body felt as my fingers let go of him, I knew I had just let go of a dead man. He is wrapped from head to toe, it was awful. So Im in free fall about 15yrds from him just watching, I almost flew back to him to try and help but decided I just got out of that crap Im not going back!!. I felt helpless and sad for him, I was going to see another fatality and his newborn and wife were there watching. So I gave him more space and watched, not wanting to distract him. He flips on his back, bag above him, lines around feet and arms, he is kicking and kicking, nothing working, suddenly i see the risers release and go above him. Im hootin and hollering "yea, go buddy go!" Then within just a few seconds the drag from the risers (remember it was an old system so there was alot of drag) cleared his arms just leaving his legs wrapped!! Yeah I "yell, yes keep going!" The bag is only a foot above his feet the risers are now a few feet up from there. Once again its about three kicks and he was free!!! I was ecstatic! Yes! I get to see my first cutaway in freefall!! I continue to watch as he rolls over and opens his beautiful big ass reserve, which was open by 7K. I track, pull and we all land, Under canopy I wasnt sure if that was a tear running down my face or sweat! I was wearing a protek so I guess it was a tear cause I really thought he was dead, then i was excited.
We all landed and waited for him to land, he stood it up so we were all happy. As we are all standing there I look up to see the main...., I look over and asked "who was yelling at me to go when I said no"? (forget his name, he says "me"). I said well arent you glad I didnt, as the main lands 50' from the peas!! He taps me on the shoulder and says good job. I go to my car and break out a beer at 2pm, I was done. Oh and so was premie, his wife chewed his ass right there, and he was white as a ghost as well, so I dont think he minded. Many lessons learned there too!
The guy with the double zip military grip, showed me his jump suit, it tore where my grip was and he had four finger tip bruises on his arm, guess I never got his harness.
That was only about 40 jumps after my hangar landing...
douggs 0
The email below will explain more but basically im trying to collaborate a book on some funny/scary/crazy tales both old and new.
Any contribution would be awesome. I am a jumper from Australia, you can check out what im about on my website www.basedreams.com
Any imput to this book would be much appreciated
Shine on
douggs
THE “NO SHIT THERE I WAS” BOOK compiled by Douggs
Hello my friends and everyone else,
I would like to start collaborating for the final book in my three book series that I have been writing and I need your help!
The first book is a tongue in cheek autobiography about my twisted life and its called “CONFESSIONS OF AN IDIOT”
The second book is detailed interviews with 16 remarkable friends throughout the Australian skydiving/base jumping scene and is called “ALL MY BEAUTIFUL FRIENDS”
The final book is not an original idea but it will make for some crazy reading. It is simply called “NO SHIT… THERE I WAS”
I want to compile a hundred crazy, but true stories from everyone that has been a part of skydiving or base jumping. Whether you have 1 jump or 10,000 jumps, it doesn’t matter, as long as you have a crazy story. It can be one paragraph or 10 pages. It can be about skydiving or base jumping or anything crazy that happened at a party or a car accident or anything. It can be of life or death or just something silly. I don’t want to set any guidelines and it can be written however you like with as much swearing and crass shit as you like. Write like you were telling it to a group of mates at a party when your wasted. I don’t care. It just needs to be crazy, scary, twisted, funny or all of the above and more.
I would also like to get stories of “Did you hear what this dude did…” or “You wouldn’t believe what I heard…” these are always some of the most entertaining, crazy and funniest stories around.
I have finished writing the first book, am half way through the second and really want to get started on the third.
If it gets published, each person in it will receive a copy.
Please send your stories through to my email [email protected]
And please include your full name, nick name or alias and a contact email or phone number.
Please also pass this email on to every crazy dude or chick you have ever met. Im not doing this for cash but rather to try and give people a little insight into how twisted, crazy and amazing our lives are.
I know there are a million cool stories out there, so please give up 30 minutes of your time and make this happen.
Shine on
douggs
ZeG 0
Nearly a month since the last post, nobody has another story? Come on, I enjoyed reading it so much!
I bet airtwardo has alot more
BillyVance 34
QuoteNearly a month since the last post, nobody has another story? Come on, I enjoyed reading it so much!
I bet airtwardo has alot more
Maybe when the statue of limitations run out on him...
ZeG 0
The other oldtimers with over 10 years in the sport have probably a few good ones too.
What about you Billy... 14 years.. come on speak up
BillyVance 34
QuoteThe other oldtimers with over 10 years in the sport have probably a few good ones too.
What about you Billy... 14 years.. come on speak up
Oh I have quite a few already posted elsewhere, if I can find them, I'll link them in here rather than type them all over again.
ZeG 0
QuoteQuoteThe other oldtimers with over 10 years in the sport have probably a few good ones too.
What about you Billy... 14 years.. come on speak up
Oh I have quite a few already posted elsewhere, if I can find them, I'll link them in here rather than type them all over again.
No need to do that... I already read through the complete thread
I'll decloak for this one :)
In the late 80's I had many memorable jumps in Warm Springs, GA.
One in particular is etched in my soul.
Full on summer, long hot days of jumpin :)
A guy up from Ft. Benning needed a night jump for his license.
We planned and excecuted a casual RW jump, I think we turned a point or 2 & pulled.
It was a late sunset and jump run was about 11:20PM for a qualifying night jump.
Whenst upon opening, also being low, seeing the runway lights at what looked like the horizon, started lookin fot the "outs".
I had been in the back of the Cessna, I never checked the spot till I was open.
Had I botherd to check the spot in freefall I wound have dumped immediately.
Directly below me was a small lake (located deep in what we called parachute hell).
Along one shore of the lake (East) was one of the 2 tiny lighted areas within range.
It must have been a light in the center of a gazebo, all I could see was a wagon wheel pattern of lighted yard.
I could see trees _in_ the pattern and the area is mostly tall pines.
The other lighted area I saw was what looked like a tight but doable yard with a bright sodium light.
I located 3 glow sticks above me and made a bee line for the target.
I determined wind speed, penetration, checked for traffic, rinse repeat.
Somewhere below 500' the wire running to the pole holding the light came into view.
The wire went directly across the center of what lighted yard I could see, damn!
What would have been tight in the day was just cut in half.
I had the altitude and I was getting penetration so I chose to clear the wire and land with the light to my back.
I was setting up on final (a bit high luckily) when I noticed a long straight black shadow pass below me almost parallel with my flight.
As I was wondering what the fuck... I saw another one and realized I was directly over the high power lines at night and close enough to see them.
At this point I opted for trees in the dark.
I nudged a flat turn and counted 3 more wires pass below me then back to normal fucked up landing out at night view.
With the wires behind me and not yet having flown over the trees I calculated I could still make the yard but I was a bit high now after slowing my descent when I saw the high power wires.
By now I clearly saw all the big wires next to me and I was front risering a tad coming in hot wanting to be low before I hit the trees at the end of the clearing.
Next thing I know I seem to be diving at the wire running to the pole, too hot.
(note to reader, I was under a 172 Wildfire, the term 'hot' needs to be taken in context, lol)
I came close enough that I had retracted the gear to miss it.
I somehow leveled off may have started to climb a tad as the canopy stalled.
I was 3-4 feet too high starting to swing in front of the chute when........
The whole fucking place lit up brighter that daylight.
I could see my canopies shadow on the ground in front of me.
I could see the shadow from the lines!
Next thing I know I'm scrambling to get up after hitting on my ass.
My first thought was that my pilot chute had caught on the wire leading to the light pole.
Off with the protec and buried the cylume in the canopy as I went into trespassing at night in rural Georgia mode.
I called out "wires" and heard an almost casual "no shit" as I saw, in the fading orange glow of the sodium light, another jumper brush the high wires on his way by.
He and another jumper landed next to me uninjured, I think that both brushed the big wires on the way by.
Along about now I realize (and was being told) that it was not my pilot chute caused the sparks on the low wire.
It was the #2 guy in the pattern behind me.
He straddled one of the high wires, sparked and fell.
He was alive and talking, burned and broken, but alive.
Airborn dudes are made of some tough stuff!
Guy instinct from bicycles or luck? the guy had 3rd degree burns on the back of his thigh and leg, and lesser burns 'elsewhere'.
His shoe was melted to his foot!
xyz went to the door for help as we kinda hid behind a vehicle in the drive to avoid lead poisoning.
(I have no idea why the spot was off in the first place, I think the winds aloft changed 180)
Power was out in 3 counties.
He was taken to a Warm Springs facility with a helipad and lifeflight was dispatched from Atlanta I think, It took forever.
Last I heard he was recovering in the hospital, I forget what became of him or if he ever returned to the sky.
Another Sparky was born!
The next day we went back to the scene and realized that where the refuse from the EMT's and trampled ground was directly below another set of power wires that ran under the high ones.
We speculate the low wires _may_ have saved him from a fatal fall from the high wires, who knows.
Of all of us I had it the easiest, lighted landing area and I saw the wires.
I don't know if Sparky saw them or not.
The other 2 guys had to land at night, really dark, no power for miles, right after staring at an arc lamp.
They can pipe up if they choose, I know at least one of em lurks here.
this link may work for the location
http://maps.google.com/maps?f=q&hl=en&geocode=&q=rosevelt+memorial+airport,+warm+springs,+ga&ie=UTF8&ll=32.923294,-84.699783&spn=0.010573,0.013325&t=h&z=16
The lake is SSW of the airport.
We landed just north of the lake near the bend in the powerline cut, right where Hidden Lakes Road juts north.
It looks way bigger on google maps than it did that night lemme tell ya....
PULL!
jumpin_Jan
SethInMI 160
Great story!
Skootz 0
QuoteNearly a month since the last post, nobody has another story? Come on, I enjoyed reading it so much!
I bet airtwardo has alot more
I think I have a few with no statute of limitations, but this might still get me in trouble...
(I told this one to Gonzo while driving down to Skyfest last year and he almost fell out of the car laughing!)
File it under:
A Mile High Adventure -or- ...remember when sex was safe?
Another in a long line of Kaptian K episodes...
When I was in college back in the 70's, there were basically 3 kinds of guys on campus.
Cocks, Jocks and Junkies...
Cocks were the smart Greek fraternity types, they got all the ‘brainy’ girls.
Jocks were the sports guys that got the gullible ones.
The Junkies got the ‘wild & crazy’ chicks.
In order to align yourself in one of these groups the guys would ‘advertise’ their status as they do today, with their clothing.
The Greeks had those funky frat letters on everything, the junkies had goofy pot smokin' tee shirts and wore sunglasses at night, the jocks had their jackets.
Mine was beautiful, school colors and in huge bold letters on the back it read:
~ SIU Skydiving Team ~
Guys wearing those jackets were pretty much welcomed into all three ‘guy groups’ and we willingly reaped the benefits!
To illustrate how well it pays to advertise, on one particular night early in the semester the Mighty Kaptian and I went out on a mission...the quest to get him laid.
As I’ve mentioned in prior stories, The Kaptian was a friend from high school that went to Vietnam with the Marines...I ran into him after the war at our first jump class, we were the only two students and instantly renewed our friendship.
We spent a lot of time together... jumping, flying and drinking.
He came down to visit me one weekend in school, signed up and never left...got his Double I, A&P etc. all on the GI Bill.
He was a good looking reasonably intelligent guy, good jumper, great pilot, ...but had one outstanding character flaw...poor guy couldn’t get laid in a Filipino whore house with a fistful of fifties, he dropped the ball more times than a one armed wide receiver wearin' a blindfold and a boxing glove!
On the night in question, following a lengthy, encouraging pep talk...we donned our team jackets, his having just arrived... and set out for the campus bars.
As always, the ‘Skydiver’ billboards on our backs quickly opened conversation with the fairer sex...as an ice breaker for a 20 year old college student, it was better than a Porsche in the parking lot.
Flying wing-man was a new experience for me, but I adapted quickly, before long we’d struck up some small talk with a couple of ‘prospects’ and after a few pitchers of cheap beer, the Mighty ‘K’ was coming into his own....telling stories, asking questions, being polite and attentive...I was SO proud!
As the bar was closing I mentioned to ‘K’ that it was getting about time to close the deal when he absolutely floored me...
”Already did” he said...”We’re getting our Mile High wings tonight!”
WE’RE DOING WHAT?
...½ an hour later we are pulling the seats out of a 172 the Kaptian had, and doing rock-paper-scissors to see who goes first.
Paper wins and I’m flyin’
To keep things reasonably modest in the cramped 172, my ‘candidate’ waits on the ground.
Barely cleared the runway... and I gotta tripe X porn movie going next to me on the floor!
Knowing my buddy’s batting average, I’d have bet the farm there was no way in Hell he could keep that pace going until 6 grand...I’d have lost house, barn, crop and mule!
It was inspirational, it was amazing...it was MY TURN!
Back on the ground, the girls changed places as did “K” and I...
Trying to take a few practice swings before getting into the batters box, my efforts are continually being interrupted by my friend displaying his above average flying skills...high G turns and barrel rolls are getting me dizzy and the young lady scared!
After I finally get him focused and we’re at altitude, ole Gary gives me a sly wink and says “Just let me know when yer ready”
I guess I really should have given more thought to his comment, heck...I’d been ‘ready’ since we left the bar!
~ So...No Shit, There I Was...
Pounding away like a Mexican roofer...the drone of the engine drowning our moans, the clear night sky full of stars, the chill in the air, the excitement of actually earning one of aviation’s most coveted awards...
I was absolutely in Heaven...It was wonderful, I felt like I was floating...hey, wait a minute...holy shit, what the...
I AM FLOATING!
Took a half second to realize The Mighty Kaptian K was doing one of his patented, astronaut training, Zero G extended dives...got a great view of his grinning mug, my ass brushing the headliner as we drifted next to him still locked in blissful embrace...
Definitely a seventh game, bottom of the ninth, World Series, Grand Slam trip to the plate for me, as for the girl...not so much!
Allowing me much more 'Air Time' than was probably safe or practical......ole ”K” finally yanks back hard on the yoke.
Pulling out of the dive suddenly slammed us the floor.
Umm...‘Firmly’ would be putting it mild!
The poor girl, who was looking up at me with eyes as big as manhole covers, let out a high pitched shriek that I’m convinced to this day, shattered crystal glasses in all the houses 5280 some feet below us.
I wasn’t sure if it was because she had a 225 pound guy on top of her, that had just doubled or tripled his weight...or if it was because while hitting the floor, I’d inadvertently given her a couple inches even I didn’t know I had...
Either way, probably safe to assume it’s not the only time in my life that it was ‘better for me’, than the girl I was with...and what the heck....Mission Accomplished!
On the way back down...my darling little honey went from scared, to pissed, to pleased, to PROUD...she was a real trooper, and me always the gentleman...I never once mentioned how she was now kinda walking like John Wayne back through the parking lot.
We remained friends during my years at school, though never really dated.
I’d see her around and she’d never fail to give me a coy smile that would always refresh the memories of the night I got my 'Wings'.
As for the Kaptian...I don’t think he ever took that ~ SIU Skydiving Team ~ jacket off in the two years I had until graduation!
~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~
jonstark 8
Mile high is good for a laugh any time even if it's just turning up the altimeter in Air Force One and banging out a real fast one on the sofa with one eye on the airstairs.
jon
firstime 0
2005 WFFC, I went out with a friend to help out with his booth. During the 10 hr drive there he was giving me the low down on do's & dont's at the convention (my first). He stressed the point that once the booth was shut down for the day,, everything had to be locked up and put away. I put this advice in my muscle memory. We get our spot(for the booth) rent a golf cart, set up our booth, all is good. The first Friday nite we close everything up & go get a bite to eat. We then start having some drinks with another friend who we knew and we ended up hanging out by the loading zone (couches to sit) it is now about 10 pm & Art says to me" I will go & get the golf cart and come back to get you guys, nice gesture because I fucked up my ankle that day on a jump..no walk back...cool... 15 minutes go by and no sign of Art or the golf cart, so Mike & I walk back and once we got the huge once upright circus tent (booth) it was on the ground, Mike & I looked at each with the WTF..... Then we see something moving under the tent and heard every curse word I have ever heard & then some......... Then out from the collapsed ruble emerges Art & looked right at me and says.........you dumb mother f&*ker you didnt tell me that you chained the golf cart to the tent pole. I have never laughed so hard for so long in my 51 years.
Classic!
I'm back in the USA!!
Yes. And you would be the guy in the "Infinity" bus?
Mark
Hmm I might have lost ya on that one, had the 34' rv with my Murano behind it?