Redemption Boogie 2007!!!!

[freeflyimpaired 0]

Men are ok with their wives fantasizing about Jimmy Coiner during sex; because they are doing the same thing.

"Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so."

[AndrewKarnowski 0]

Aliens do exist, they are just waiting for Jimmy Coiner to die before they attack

[Skydivinghippie 0]

Jimmy Coiner once kicked a horse in the chin. Its decendants are known today as Giraffes.

I'll be your huckleberry.

[AndrewKarnowski 0]

Jimmy Coiner can believe it’s not butter.

[kansasskydiver 0]

Jimmy Coiner doesn't need a miracle in order to split the ocean. He just walks in and the water gets the fuck out of the way.

<--- See look, pink dolphins DO exist!

[Skydivinghippie 0]

Jimmy Coiner sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled freeflying ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Jimmy Swoop-kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

I'll be your huckleberry.

[AndrewKarnowski 0]

To prove it isn’t that big of a deal to beat cancer. Jimmy Coiner smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and acquired 7 different kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes

[freeflyimpaired 0]

Sticks and stones may brake your bones but Jimmy Coiner will always kill you.

"Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so."

[AndrewKarnowski 0]

Wilt Chamberlin claims to of slept with over 20,000 women in his lifetime. Jimmy Coiner calls this “a slow Tuesday.”

[kansasskydiver 0]

It is considered a great accomplishment to go down Niagara Falls in a wooden barrel. Jimmy Coiner can go up Niagara Falls in a cardboard box.

<--- See look, pink dolphins DO exist!

[Skydivinghippie 0]

They once made a Jimmy Coiner toilet paper, but there was a problem-- It wouldn't take shit from anybody.

I'll be your huckleberry.

[AndrewKarnowski 0]

Once a grizzly bear threatened to eat Jimmy Coiner. Jimmy showed the bear his fist and the bear proceeded to eat himself, because it would be the less painful way to die.

[freeflyimpaired 0]

A day without Swooping is like a day without sunshine to Jimmy Coiner. Jimmy Coiner has a great tan.

"Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so."

[kansasskydiver 0]

The reason newborn babies cry is because they know they have just entered a world with Jimmy Coiner

<--- See look, pink dolphins DO exist!

[AndrewKarnowski 0]

If you look Jimmy Coiner in the eyes for more then 3 seconds you go blind.

[Skydivinghippie 0]

The Manhattan Project was not intended to create nuclear weapons, it was meant to recreate the destructive power in a Jimmy Coiner glare. They didn't even come close.

I'll be your huckleberry.

[kansasskydiver 0]

A rogue squirrel once challenged Jimmy Coiner to a nut hunt around the park. Before beginning, Jimmy simply dropped his pants, instantly killing the squirrel and 3 small children. Jimmy knows you can't find bigger, better nuts than that.

<--- See look, pink dolphins DO exist!

[AndrewKarnowski 0]

There was no adam and eve.. there was Jimmy and Coiner.

[freeflyimpaired 0]

The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Jimmy Coiner has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.

"Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so."

[AndrewKarnowski 0]

Jimmy Coiner’s victims have been owned more times than goodwill clothing.

[Skydivinghippie 0]

In the movie "The Matrix", Jimmy Coiner is the Matrix. If you pay close attention in the green "falling code" scenes, you can make out the faint glimmer of his smile.

But don't look too long or you'll turn to stone.

I'll be your huckleberry.

[kansasskydiver 0]

Jimmy Coiner can drown a fish.

<--- See look, pink dolphins DO exist!

[AndrewKarnowski 0]

How come Eminem didn’t have blonde hair during 8-Mile? Because when Jimmy Coiner found out that Em was going to make a shitty movie, he round-house kicked him so hard in the face that the peroxide fell out of Em’s head.

[Skydivinghippie 0]

Jimmy Coiner doesn't say "who's your daddy", because he knows the answer.

I'll be your huckleberry.

[kansasskydiver 0]

Jimmy Coiner once had a heart attack; his heart lost.

<--- See look, pink dolphins DO exist!