funniest personal jump story?

[eyeinthesky 0]

i was wondering what some of your funniest jump stories are. pick the best one and tell me. i had mine at jump 5, at jump 12 this weekend, so you guys with 500 or more surely have some hilarious ones! mine was my first hop&pop, i am going through static progression. i'd done all previous jumps fine, perfectly pulling my dummy cord and was cleared to do my first real ripcord jump that day. i get to the 4000, climb out, the JM yells go. i take a deep breath and relax a second...."ive done this before, nothing new." i told myself. i let go and actually feeling freefall scared the living s#*t outta me. i was getting blown every way i could comprehend. i frantically pull the cord, and relax. a few seconds later i dont feel the familiar feel of the chute opening, and i look up and nothings there! i look in my hand and no ripcord. i even more frantically pull the cord again, making sure i had it this time, and all is well. the JM went out just after me, and when he landed, he was in tears. he described the look on my face after relaxing and realizing nothing happened as "deer in the headlights meets oh-shit-i-gotta-save-my-own-life-this-time". he laughed the rest of the day i was there and still snickers when he sees me. i can only imagine how id laugh to see it from his perspective. whats yours?


doug


never let anyone in your will pack your chute!

hey, i was stupid before stupid was cool!

[andy1 0]

Almost the same with me on my 2nd 5 sec freefall. I reached back to pull, and couldn't find the handle

After 1-2 seconds scrabbling for it, I then tried with my left hand before finding the handle (with my right hand, of course)!

My JM was pissing himself, "Cyprus jump, Cyprus jump ...."

[Auryn 0]

here's a funny story, and Ill try to tell it even tho I suck at telling funny stories.

I was doing a three way with my DZM and his wife, who have a billion jumps each, so I was excited to be able to learn some stuff from them.

As we were going on to jump run and I was doing my final gear check, the DZM said to me "don't screw up, or else I will beat you with a newspaper." I looked at him, laughed a bit, and made a mental note that I would be getting hit with a newspaper after we landed.

We chunked a compressed accordion which went off perfectly, and not 2 seconds into the freefall, I hear the "WHAP" of something against my helmet. I turn and look at my DZM just in time to see him hit me 2 more times with a rolled up newspaper. :)

We turned about 12 or so points with him holding onto the newspaper the entire time. he let it go at about 5 grand and we broke off.


what happened was: the plane we were jumping had just been ferried from another DZ and someone riding it had left a newspaper behind. he found it, managed to hide it under his arm and get it right on exit. before this tho, he showed his wife, so she knew the whole time what was going to happen :)

Blue Skies !

Bryan

[cheneyneel 0]

Jump 30 I think it was..I was wearing pants that unzipped at the knees..

Lost both of them and my wallet that was in the lower cargo pocket.. Went up with money and pants and came down broke and with shorts..

It was the third day of a three day weekend and had not payed manifest yet.. Extremely embarassing...

[rgoper 0]

i was still on AFP status when going up for jump # 3 of the day, or something like that. my jump master Chris Miller got me to the door, and i checked at the door and i counted "ready, set GO!" Chris left on the count, and i didn't. for some odd reason, i held onto the bar of the otter door, who knows why. i finally jump (fall) out back to prop and i think, "well i'm on a sky dive on my own for the first time." i carry on with the planned sky dive until Chris finally tracks to me, and he's pissed. i pull at 4500 agl, land, gather up my gear thinking i had a way kewel sky dive! i take my gear into the packing area, go to the jump master's loft for de-briefing. Chris asked me "so how would you rate that sky dive?" i said "on a 1-10, i'd say a 6" he said "well it was a fu*$ing 3" he was hot! he said "i had to track like a mother fu**er just to get to you" then i had to watch the video he shot, he tortured me by rewinding it at least 4 or 5 times scolding me each time. i was WAY glad to get out of the jump master's loft that particular day. Chris Miller is still "the best damn dive master" i've ever met! thanks Chris, for all you've done for sky divers like me. a dive doesn't go by where i don't remember some of your training, even my first cut-away, i remember hearing your instructions, that's how fast it really happens!

--Richard--
"We Will Not Be Shaken By Thugs, And Terroist"

[Ron 7]

My buddy (more like brother I have known him so long) Doug and I are getting into an argument at the DZ. (We are best friends, but we get into serious arguments over debates we have).

So the whole DZ likes to listen when he and I go at each other so we have a crowd around us.

He gets so mad at me ('cause he's wrong and looking like a fool) He says to try and shut me up "Oh yeah, I've had sex on your Canopy!" The whole DZ gasps.....People are like "oh damn that was cold".

I had dated one of his girlfriends, So I said " Oh yeah, I had sex on your girlfriend" You could hear a pin drop it was so quiet.

Doug and I just started laughing so hard we were out of breath.

Ron

"No free man shall ever be debarred the use of arms." -- Thomas Jefferson, Thomas Jefferson Papers, 334

[skygirlpc 0]

I did IAF with tandem progession, so on my first IAF...A videographer at my dz at just died jumping. Being new to the sport I was not ready to except death has part of it. I had a very hard time dealing with this. Anyway...I was scared silly not being a fearful person I didn't know how to deal with the fear at all. I decided that I needed to jump and not let my fear rule me. I was so scared that I was physically sick.
The funny part is that when we got up to exit I was so scared that I was bawling. I was crying so hard that my goggles were all fogged up and I could barely see. Looking back, I feel so sorry for my instructor! He asked if I was ready to skydive and through my tears and sniffs I nodded yes and we went. As soon as I was out of the plane everything clicked and the jump went great. I still love telling the story!

Danielle

[happythoughts 0]

A few of you know Johnny Gates. For his 60th birthday, we got together 18 people and camera for a jump. We dirt-dived a "60". Two loops, one with a tail. He would be the last out and dock on the tail of the "6".

Then, knowing that Johnny loves weed-whackers. We all secretly met and re-dirt dived one. Three 6-way lines. Sooo... which tail would he dock on.
He docked on me and was shaking his head in freefall. He told me in the landing area, "I must have been in the wrong slot". "Maybe... let's check the video."

The great thing about JG was that the joke was on him and he laughed the hardest. Ask him about it when you see him next.

[Designer 0]

The blind jumps I made at the herd Boogie in the late 70,s come to mind.Anyway,needed to have a spare pair of glasses and "Did Not".Jumped as base lead in a 4-Way Diamond launched out of a Skyvan.Everything was cool till the last jump we made.Formation funneled around me and I got kicked in the face by somebody.Could barely see and then moisture in my eyes form the impact with the foot.Freefell longer than usual to make sure I was clear of everybody else.Short Canopy ride.Opened somewhere between 1,200 and a 1,000.Didn,t feel the need to jump anymore after that 1.(lol)

[JJohnson 0]

Well, there was the time that after one of my not so great landings, that I tore the ass out of the spandex shorts I was wearing. I did not notice it unitl someone asked me if I felt a breeze....as I was laying on my canopy packing it......Thankfully no video coverage..

JJ

JJ

"Call me Darth Balls"

[dresherr 0]

The craziest jump I had was when I was on an airplane ready to jump. Fully ready to go; all strapped up and everything. An experienced skydiver came up to me and asked me if I knew what I was doing. I said yes but in reality I had no clue and was scared "poop-less" The count came and went and I jumped flawless! The thrill of freeflight came over me and then I WOKE UP!
In "real reality" I have never jumped but look forward to. I just wanted to share one of my dreams.
Much love and safe flying to you all even if your dives are at night while you're sleeping!

[eyeinthesky 0]

Quote

I tore the ass out of the spandex shorts I was wearing. I did not notice it unitl someone asked me if I felt a breeze....as I was laying on my canopy packing it......Thankfully no video coverage


now thats probably the best one! i'd have been in tears seeing that!

hey, i was stupid before stupid was cool!

• Quote

[Faicon9493 114]

While at a boogie in Minnesota in 1987, I was on a 30-way attempt to set a new state record. Some skydivers from my home DZ were on a sponsored demo team and in the area. As the record attempt was climbing to altitude, they were flying in to spend some down time at the boogie. Instead of landing, they climbed to altitude with us in their 182. I was in the outside row and the formation completed really high. To my surprize, I felt someone dock on my leg. At the same time, I looked up and saw a grinning and familiar face from my home DZ. There were some grumbles after we landed but I thought it was great and I have it on video. The "bandit" jumpers were Mike Starck and Bobby Blanchard from the Sky Knights Parachute Club in East Troy, WI.

[rickfri59 0]

I'm sure I'M not the first to pull this blunder......... On AFF #3 I took position in the door of the Otter, and bailed. Was concentrating so hard I forgot to check in/out, and didn't do the out/in/out swing. Furtunately the JM's have a firm hold of students whenever there's movement in the plane. They also went out the door unexpectedly. The rest of the dive rocked.