Cepheus 0 #1 December 12, 2003 Well, it's been a year since my "most recent" skydive. Sometimes it saddens me to think of what I have "lost," by not jumping. I just finished reading an old post I had made here about 5 or 6 months ago on this very same topic -- and I have made a decision. Or rather a revelation. Or something. I haven't lost shit. I still have my memories. I remember every second of what it felt like when I was in the air. Every second. Total recall. Well, minus those times I blissed out so completely (aka, sensory overload ) that I wouldn't have remembered them even if they were stamped into my head with a hydrolic press. Hehe. And I still have my dreams. About one a week, sometimes more, for the past few months. They're getting more frequent -- my mind's way of holding on, I guess. I am not ready to let go of these experiences. I suspect I never will be. But I am worried. What if I won't have the guts to start back up again, when the time comes that I am able to? What if I back down, say "No, it's been too long, it's a part of my past now," and generally chicken-shit myself out of it? But deep in my heart I know this is an impossibility. I know people who have tried it once or twice, then quit never to jump again. They're cavalier about it, consider it just "something fun" they did once, but don't give it a second thought. Not me. I did it 12 times, but for how often I think about it, that number should be much higher. Despite this long break, skydiving Still has an amazing effect on me. More than a year later I'm still able to accellerate my heart rate simply by thinking about stepping out the door of a twin otter. Night after night I usually wind up unable to sleep because my thoughts turn to those few days I spent at the dropzone, laughing with friends, hanging out (both on ground and in the air), the triumphs I made, both physically (damn AFF level 4 spins! ) and emotionally. I have not reverted to my introvert ways. This has to say something, doesn't it? I mean, How can I really believe something that has so much impact on my life can simply vanish without a fight? No. Consider this my solemn oath. I will jump again. I will. I don't know when, and I don't know how, but I will. I have to. I was made for this. I only felt right with myself during those 12 times I found myself suspended in air. I will get this back. No matter what. Ceph, aka Erik Forbes Ps: for those who remember my last post (or who might look it up ), I have learned VB.NET, and became quite proficient at it in a rather short period of time. If you're interested in any software I've written, check out my site listed in my signature line.-- Skydive -- testing gravity, one jump at a time. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DaMan 0 #2 December 12, 2003 Hang in there... Times like these are what make us stronger and give us the understanding we need to sympathetic to others experiencing the same hardships. We have our own programming staff at the company I work for - if anything opens up in the future, I'll be sure to post it for you (and others). It's kind of hard working around a bunch of whuffos. Take care!Z-Flock 8 Discotec Rodriguez Too bad weapons grade stupidity doesn't lead to sterility. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Surf 0 #3 December 12, 2003 Remember Bush Sr. went some 53 years between jumps. Many here have had long "vacations" from skydiving. I thought I'd never jump again after a 5 year hiatus. But I will. If it's in your blood you'll be back. Not everyone who jumps once or twice is a skydiver, but if you went up 12 times, and based on your post, I'd say you're hooked. "Nothing is written"- T.E. Lawrence Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
WrongWay 0 #4 December 12, 2003 My friend, I respect your decision. In fact, I admire it. What you need to do is not just say "I will jump". You need to say "I will jump this Spring." That way you have a specific time frame for your goal, and won't put it off, as I know I would. Blue skies, and much kudos for making the right choice to get back into what you love. Good luck. Wrong Way D #27371 Mal Manera Rodriguez Cajun Chicken Ø Hellfish #451 The wiser wolf prevails. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
rehmwa 2 #5 December 12, 2003 My experience is a little different, but I hope it offers insight. I quit while in the Navy (600 jumps at the time). The drive was long, we'd just had a kid, the skydivers at the local DZ weren't very skilled and I didn't feel like investing in bringing up the local talent - excuses, excuses, etc. Nearly 5 years later I started jumping again. I think the time off ended up being huge for me. I have more passion for the sport than ever, I'm starting to compete in RW, taking coaching, even freeflying some when there's not 3 other good RW jumpers around or someone to do CrW with, and coaching is fun again. Time off could be just the thing. But don't sell your gear! You'll want it when you get back Bad things? While out they instituted the mandatory PRO requirements - ack. Canopies changed a lot. There seems to be a lot of gratuitous charges now (i.e., expansion of rating requirements), and big DZs - there is more snobbery. But overall, it's better than ever for me. Once it's in your soul, it never leaves. As a newbie (12 jumps), don't be cocky on the retraining, you'll have to relearn. But it will be worth it. ... Driving is a one dimensional activity - a monkey can do it - being proud of your driving abilities is like being proud of being able to put on pants Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mnischalke 0 #6 December 12, 2003 Dude, Stop thinking. You think this hard before you get out of bed in the morning? Go Jump! mike Girls only want boyfriends who have great skills--You know, like nunchuk skills, bow-hunting skills, computer-hacking skills. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
riddler 0 #7 December 12, 2003 Is it a physical problem that's keeping you from jumping? If not, then there's nothing stopping you. Go out and do it.Trapped on the surface of a sphere. XKCD Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Cepheus 0 #8 December 12, 2003 No, it's not a physical problem, it's a monitary one... Things are *very* hard around here -- if it weren't for the kindness of my mother giving me a place to live, I'm pretty sure I'd be on the street... I did have student loans to deal with -- but I was finally able to get them to defer them. Took a big, big burdon off my shoulders, lemme tell you. The reason I'm saying "I will jump again" and not setting a date is because I don't know when it will happen. I'm at the mercy of the job markets, and so far there hasn't been any mercy... I've been making a little bit of money every now and then selling my software to friends, and keeping that updated, but it's usually just enough to cover what new bill or expense crops up the next day. You know, I just thought of something... I will have a reprieve, if it comes through, in Februrary. A friend of mine is paying me $1k to build her two computers... Maybe I could put some of that toward getting back up in the air again? Yes. Yes, ok. If this computer deal comes through, that's exactly what I'm doing. I won't be able to blow it all on skydiving, much as I might like (hehe), but I will at the VERY least get myself current again. And you guys are right. It is in my blood. I am a skydiver. And I need not whine about not jumping, because there are those of us who haven't jumped in far longer. There are those of us who aren't *able* to jump, ever again, for one reason or another... I'm not special, in this, and it's not the end of the world if I go some time between jumps. I think I'm just being melodramatic. Thank you, guys, for the confidence boost, and showing me that this really is my place (the sport, that is). That being a skydiver isn't about having x number of jumps -- it's about the love of the sport, and the commitment to the sport, regardless of your jump numbers. And that, because of this, I will always be a skydiver, in my mind and heart, if not always in the air. I need to visit the DZ more often, too... I need to get over this idea that I'll do nothing but mope while watching everyone else have fun. I can still at least have a learning experience -- I still need to learn how to pack, for instance. ;)-- Skydive -- testing gravity, one jump at a time. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
judedre 0 #9 December 12, 2003 JUST PM Me i will pay to get you back in the air JUMPS ON ME i will pay your slot and your equipment rental for 1 jump if it means it will get u back in the air i am serious i have $50 for ya just goto the dz i will give them my vredit card details ova the phone and will pay for ya jump NOW U HAVE NO EXCUSES GET YA ARSE UP THERE AND MAKE THE JUMP... dre Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Cepheus 0 #10 December 12, 2003 Lol, thank you! But I'm fairly certain it's gonna be more than $50. To my credit, I did email my dz yesterday asking how much it would cost. They haven't replied yet though. When they do, I'll let you know. I really, really appreciate the offer. -- Skydive -- testing gravity, one jump at a time. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
PhreeZone 14 #11 December 12, 2003 I'm sure your local DZ is in need of packers. Head down there and work a few days and your jumps will be paid for. I know more then a few people that pay for their entire student progression by working at the DZ.Yesterday is history And tomorrow is a mystery Parachutemanuals.com Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
judedre 0 #12 December 12, 2003 you say u have done 12 jumps u must be off student status? are u? if so the jump might cost $70 as u need to get recurrant and have a JM jump with u i will cover the $70 now stop makin excuses and go n jump... $20 your slot $20 JM slot $25 gear rental $5 for lunch phew what more do u want .. me to come give u freefly lessons.. come to florida ill make sure u jump for free.. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Cepheus 0 #13 December 12, 2003 Like I said, when I hear back from my DZ, I'll let you know. edit: And yes, I'm off student status.-- Skydive -- testing gravity, one jump at a time. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
riddler 0 #14 December 12, 2003 Money is a consideration for 99% of your life. But the other 1% - the part that is really important - has nothing to do with money. Only desire. If you want to go out and jump, and it's truly important to you, then money won't stop you from doing it. Geesh. I periodically have this discussion with young men and women that say they're not going to college because they can't afford it. Hell, I didn't have the money to go to college, but the truth was I couldn't afford to NOT go to college, and so I went. I did just about everything you can think of - loans, scholarships, jobs, borrowed, and I eventually made it through. Money was not this issue, only my desire got me through. Same with jumping. If it's really important to you, you won't make excuses like you can't afford it. You will get out there and find a way to do it. Pack. Or clean up the DZ - make friends with the DZO and offer to trade for work or anything. Whatever. How many people in our world - in our history - have had the opportunity to do what we do? Sorry to preach Trapped on the surface of a sphere. XKCD Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
