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Grandpa

I'm afraid to jump again

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My God do I know how you're feeling. I have posted on the safety and training forum before. Basically I started out on Raps doing about 26 jumps but got no further than dummy pulls. I then did AFF and passed level 1 - 3. On my level 4 jump I went completely unstable, on my back spinning, i lost altitude awareness (in fact all awareness of anything!) and my instructor caught up with me and pulled for me at about 4,000ft. This was March last year and all I have done since is 2 practice fun jumps only. The last time that I was at a dropzone I waited all day to jump then when it was time to get kitted up I just could not do it. I haven't jumped since. I like you will never, ever give up. I enjoyed jumps before and know that I can enjoy it again. I have let my fears get totally out of control and irrational. I am going to go abroad next year and use a windtunnel and hopefully finish my training. You are not alone in your worries. It's amazing really cause when you are at a dropzone it seems like no one else is scared at all but when you read these forums you find that there are so many people (even very experienced people) who are very nervous also. I just can't wait to qualify (i've been trying for 2 and a half years. When I do it will just mean so much because it has been such a struggle. This is how it will be for you also. Hope you manage to get through your fears. I'll keep reading your posts to see how you're doing.

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Your post had so many entries I have said or felt or done:

"The last time that I was at a dropzone I waited all day to jump then when it was time to get kitted up I just could not do it." DID THAT!

"I have let my fears get totally out of control and irrational" I KNOW MINE ARE.

This forum, and the people I have met because of it, have reassured me...I'M NOT ALONE.
Neither of us will give up. I'm going back tomorrow.

"I know JUST enough about skydiving to know I don't know ANYTHING about skydiving"
XGS#1

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I didn't jump. That's okay because I had an attitude change on Sunday. A friend told me fear is just another emotion and to replace the dominate fear with a positive emotion like excitment, exhilaration
, etc. All the good feelings I had gotten from skydiving. Sunday I replaced it with ANGER. I am so mad at myself for wasting the last month. I intend on maintaining this anger until next Saturday the 23rd and JUMPING.

I have been telling myself to go and watch and get the good feelings back. In a backward way it worked. I didn't get the good feelings back but I did get pissed off at myself for standing on the ground while everyone else was having a great time. It might not be right for anyone else, but anger is working for me.

On a lighter note. My friend did his AFF 1 Saturday and had a terrible thing happen ;) He had the "Slider all the way at the BOTTOM" malfunction :P He told me no matter how hard he pumped the brakes it just wouldn't go up. After considering a cutaway, he decided since he could flare and steer and had a full canopy he would try to land it even with the "malfunction". After we talked about it, he remembered about the slider from ground school :$ There is soooo much to remember on day 1.

"I know JUST enough about skydiving to know I don't know ANYTHING about skydiving"
XGS#1

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Don't forget that it helps to be able to picture yourself in a positive context when you jump, setting standards that are achievable. When you jump (not if), your last thought AT EXIT IN THE DOOR should be something positive that goes with a deep breath.

I can tell you from experience that experience is only part of it! Attitude is the rest. You musn't be a defeatist. Anger will help, but in the end you must transform it to positive energy. Find the transition point when it mentally suits.
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I don't drink during the day, so I don't know what it is about this airline. I keep falling out the door of the plane.

Harry, FB #4143

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Excellent advice: "When you jump (not if), your last thought AT EXIT IN THE DOOR should be something positive that goes with a deep breath". I will remember that. Thank you

"I know JUST enough about skydiving to know I don't know ANYTHING about skydiving"
XGS#1

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