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Funniest moments in skydiving

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Alright, this forum had almost 100,000 posts since I last visited, and I figured I better come in here and reset the odometer. Sooo....what are the funniest things you've seen skydiving, either in the plane or in the air (after-hour frivolities don't count).

Personally, the first one that springs to mind was 4 or 5 years ago. A bunch of us got together and were making several attempts at a 42-way. There was a guy in the base who I didn't know, and who might usually be very good skydiver, but he had no business being on those jumps on that particular day. I remember approaching one time and watching him flip underneath an otherwise stable base, without anyone touching him! Well, on his last (of those) jumps, something happened to the base and it had to rebuild. I think he went a couple feet low, but it might have been something different, anyhow, he just flat out gave up. At like 11 or 12 thousand feet, he decided "screw it" and turned and started tracking away. Well, this was planned as a 1-point skydive, and it can't complete without him, so for a few seconds the base started to chase him, and the rest of us started to chase them. Not wise by any stretch of the imagination, but it did allow us a moment of hilarity...his face when he looked back over his shoulder at the 43 of us (including 2 cameras) who he was trying to get away from, only to find us in hot pursuit. LMAO! I can only imagine what went through his mind. Anyhow, we gave up the chase and just did as well as we could without him. I believe he landed, packed up his gear, and got out of there without saying a word to anyone. Sad I guess, as that was the most unique facial expression I've ever seen in my life, and I'd really like to know what exact thoughts corresponded with it. :D

Blues,
Dave
"I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!"
(drink Mountain Dew)

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A guy was going to land next to his wife and she was going to take his picture. He was a little to fixated on her and didn't notice a small nearby object, the hangar. :o He landed on top of it. Funny how it snuck up on him, out of nowhere. :D

The fire dept had to get him down because there was no ladder tall enough.

He was up there for over 90 minutes. Of course, everyone treated him with all the dignity and respect possible. ;)

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>what are the funniest things you've seen skydiving . . . .

A woman who I tossed out of the plane during an emergency bailout coming up to me afterwards and saying "I couldn't figure out why you just threw me out of the plane like that. I mean, you seem like a nice guy and everything . . ."

At one of my first bigways, I got singled out on the video. "Who is this?" the organizer asked, pointing to me. I figured this wasn't good, but I raised my hand. "Come up here," he said. When I got up there, he said "Everyone see this guy? This guy is the only guy who did what I told him to do on exit!" Since I could barely remember what I did during exit I was relieved.

Getting busted at Bridge Day for having a 38" ZP pilot chute (which is fine for that sort of jump.) I had written a bridge day FAQ a few years back, and it listed a 42" PC as recommended equipment. When I got to the check in table, the guy asked me what size PC I had. "I have a ZP 38, but it's a BASE specific PC." "That's a problem," he said. "Right here on this thing it says you need a 42" PC." He was holding up my FAQ.

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Borrowing a rig some years ago to make back-to-back loads. A buddy who is a rigger gave me another buddy's rig which he'd just repacked....

On exit, someone flipped onto my back and swam around there for 5-7 seconds before getting off. As I reached around for my pullout, I couldn't find it, and figured the guy on my back had knocked it off. I tried again and still couldn't find it, then went for the silver.

As I reached down and pulled the silver I glanced down at my hand. As it got the requisite four inches from the pocket and dumped the reserve, I could just see the bellyband pilotchute pouch, right where it was supposed to be....

The reserve had only been packed about 40 minutes....
If some old guy can do it then obviously it can't be very extreme. Otherwise he'd already be dead.
Bruce McConkey 'I thought we were gonna die, and I couldn't think of anyone

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Friend of mine was heading up to do a solo freefly. He got completely geared up, then decided at the last second he wanted to throw on a pair of pants (to go over the shorts he had on.) So he runs over to his gear bag and puts on a pair of jogging pants *over his leg straps*.

Jump was uneventful, but as the load was landing I heard a strange flapping sound. Sure enough, there he was on final, pants around his ankles...

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I was in a small plane doing a solo with a tandem. About 10 of the tandem student's family were right on the cross (!), and I thought I'd come in with a smartarse landing right in front of them. I timed it badly and did about 4 cartwheels, and came to a standstill tangled in my lines. I was right at the feet of an onlooker. I finally stood up and untangled myself and the onlooker was a patient of mine, I'm a psychologist. These people look to me for all lifes answers. "Nice landing" she said, while peeing her pants in hysterics.

***Die with your boots on

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Yep got one of those as well: a guy was flying by me (with camera) and his GF (with camera) so he decided to fly by a little bit closer. He flew across the (hot) peas, it was a hot day with no wind. From that lift he got a little bit further than planned and because he had turned a bit to the left, when he slid in on his butt, he came to a stop against a small fence pole and then watched his chute pass over his head and land on the small wind indicator pole B| If he'd been a couple feet to the right he'd have had the whole field to land in...

He had to pull the pole from the ground to get his chute loose...

The other 2 are a student who decided to land in the one place (besides the hangar LOL) you shouldn't at our airfield... Made a stand-up landing too!

ciel bleu,
Saskia

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There were a few of us going out on a sit flock (which was really fun btw), and the two guys who were gonna exit after us decided to wait a second or two then chase us on their heads so that one second we're flockin, and the next we look up and they're smilin at us as they join the flock, and we're all thinkin' "wait a minute....was he on our dive?". :D:D

Another is the always popular "Ready, set, see ya!" count where you let one of the people leave on the count and wave at him as you're filming his confused expression. B|:D

Another are any of those awkward moments when somebody comes in contact with a reproductive body part, be it smashing them with their feet, head, or butt (butt especially on those full loads) or if you just feel like being an asshole and bagtagging them before breakoff. B|:D

Wrong Way
D #27371 Mal Manera Rodriguez Cajun Chicken Ø Hellfish #451
The wiser wolf prevails.

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Another is the always popular "Ready, set, see ya!" count where you let one of the people leave on the count and wave at him as you're filming his confused expression. B|:D



A buddy of mine did his 1000th last year, and planned a 14-way formation load between our 206 (trail) and TwinBo (lead). Communication between spotter and pilot in the lead sucked, and we had two aborted jump runs due to being miles off course. We scratched the plan and the TwinBo headed off for destinations unknown, but the 206 turned around and started towards the DZ so the 5 or 6 of us in it could get out. The honorary member of the load (Mr. 1000) was spotting, but the rest of us could see the DZ up ahead. A mile or so out, he was politely but forcefully shoved from the airplane. Realizing he was about to spend his 1000th doing a solo with a bad spot, the look on his face was awesome. :D Of course we just wanted to see his reaction, so once he flipped on his back and let us see his shocked expression, we took off after him. Built a zoo round and broke it high so we all made it back.

Blues,
Dave
"I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!"
(drink Mountain Dew)

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Once Upon A Time... when I had about 100 jumps and obviously did not have the experience to do big-ways according to the experienced guys, I watched them put together a 30-way with a visiting Otter and Twin-Beech on our home dropzone. Average experience level was about 1200 jumps.

Jump 1: They had a hard time building the formation because they had about a quarter mile plus of separation between aircraft and they took the spot about 3 miles north of the DZ. L&V Wind. Only the camera guy and a few people who realized the jump was screwed and started tracking made it back to the DZ.:D:D:D

Jump 2: Sunset load, No wind. They get everything sorted, build the formation, track off and deploy. The problem started when the second jumper down didn't notice the landing direction set by the first jumper. He landed about 35 seconds later and went the opposite direction!:o Not too big of a deal until the rest of load lands. Every other jumper alternated landing direction and they all landed during the same minute in the "main" landing area which is very tight.:o:o

Thanks Guys! I learned a lot! I obviously don't have the experience to do that!;):P

Ken
"Buttons aren't toys." - Trillian
Ken

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I once landed almost a mile off the DZ near a local road in North Texas. When I finally got on the road, I decided to stop a car to borrow a cell phone and let manifest know that I am ok. When some nice farmer driving with his son finally stopped, I smiled at him and asked if I could borrow his phone to let my friends know that I landed fine. I did not have a red star painted on my helmet, but I was speaking with thick Russian accent;) After a significant pause followed by my explanation that I actually came from the local skydiving club, the farmer nicely offered a ride to DZ, but his son kept looking at like I came from a different planet. ;)

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My first summer jumping we had a boogie that featured a hop and pop into a nearby farm and accuracy landing. The area was about a 1/4 of the size of our lz and bordered on one side by power lines. The aff instructor in charge of the boogie told me I couldn't do the jump since I only had about 50 jumps and no off landings but the dzo overruled her. When I landed right on the bullseye I started cracking up seeing her face. Priceless

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I once landed almost a mile off the DZ near a local road in North Texas. When I finally got on the road, I decided to stop a car to borrow a cell phone and let manifest know that I am ok. When some nice farmer driving with his son finally stopped, I smiled at him and asked if I could borrow his phone to let my friends know that I landed fine. I did not have a red star painted on my helmet, but I was speaking with thick Russian accent;) After a significant pause followed by my explanation that I actually came from the local skydiving club, the farmer nicely offered a ride to DZ, but his son kept looking at like I came from a different planet. ;)



The Red Star was great, especially from movies like " Iron Eagle" ....always the bogie



"Don't Mess Around With the Guy in Shades- Oh No!!! "

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TOILET LANDING

I once landed with my face in a toilet.

I was jumping a PC in the old days (1981). There were 3 of us. The other 2 were jumping squares and were instructors. They had taken me up to introduce me to 3-ways.

When we opened, I saw them hauling ass under their squares toward the DZ.

I was at least a mile away looking for a place to land.

Along the country road below me, there were houses with large backyards and apparently no fences.

When I landed in some guy's yard, which I could then see was strewn with junk, I landed a little to hot to stand up the PC and went down on my knees. My head pitched forward and down right into an old toilet that had been discarded into the yard.

Of all the million places my face might have been pitched into, it ended up in a toilet.

BTW, the custom then was the jump plane hung around the out jumper and circled above him a few times so those on the DZ would know where to drive.

By the time I got my face out of the toilet, my canopy gathered up and walked to the road, the truck was just pulling in to pick me up.

THE TOILET JUMP

jt
*

Let's all do this safe enough that we can still do this in our 90's.

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Thinking back to my funniest skydiving moment I came up with an 8 way RW jump. At a drop zone where to achieve an 8 way we had to use 2 C-182s to accomplish the task. This is the way we finish our day of jumping is with a formation load. Well myself and a few other members on our plane decide to spice things up a little when we have to dive to the formation from the trail plane. So while in the plane myself and 2 other jumps strip completely down to nothing. Imagine the surprise of everyone in the formation when swooping from up above are 3 naked skydivers. It also made for an interesting landing!

Chris
--------
"Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body; but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting 'Holy s#$* what a ride!'"

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Swooping down on a wingsuit formation at the hercules boogie, flying into my slot next to Jari...giving him a big "Yea baby...did you see that!!!" smile, and then suddenly feeling my helmet 'pop' of my head......thinkin "SHIT!" for a second...then looking to my right to see Jari completely cramped up, laughing his ass off...
JC
FlyLikeBrick
I'm an Athlete?

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Well - let's see.

In 1995 the Ameland municipality offered the Russian State Circus that was touring Europe / the Netherlands part of their huge airport as a place for their July / August 'summer camp'

So there we were, with a circus at the DZ.

(Every other morning we walked up there to hug an elephant - but that's a different story)

One day a new Static line course went up for their first jump and as they do, they came back all happy and smiling and excited and full of 'shit there I was'-stories.

This one guy however proved to be a complete lunatic and we seriously started to doubt his mental capabilities: "Shit there I was, under canopy , looking out over the island and the dunes. What an amazing sight! And then there were all these ostriches chasing each other through the dunes - truly amazing!"

(Ostriches? In the dunes? In the Netherlands? This guy lost it somehow - better keep an eye on him...)

Later that evening in the local pub: "You noticed the excitement with the circus people running through the dunes this afternoon? The ostriches had escaped - they had a chase that lasted three hours before they re-captured them..." :)

"Whoever in discussion adduces authority uses not intellect but memory." - Leonardo da Vinci
A thousand words...

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the funniest moment..........

my first jump when I finally realized why my parents gave me the name that I have:P

My family name can be translated more or less to Lamb
pretty funky name,
during my childhood I tried to figure out why my family has that name..........the explanation came in '99 at my first jump

The thingy is we started out using round canopies , and I was doing static line
.....so I jump
-lucky bastard I have a linetwist ,my hand went right away to the cutaway but I realized I can fix it....

Flying was awesome , the round canopy is really silent
not much steerable tough

I realized when I was 100 m maybe, that I might have the chance of landing in a sheep open stable

there I went, straight in the middle of it ,:D lucky me it was an empty one, so the sheep were not home, or the dogs:o

10 m away , outside the fence, my instructor was laughing his shit out of him
" good that one of those poles didn't got into your ass, wanna go to the second load ?"
" hell yeah "

Imagine the reaction of other 40 people on the DZ watching the instructor with his small initiated "sheep" !

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Jump 1: They had a hard time building the formation because they had about a quarter mile plus of separation between aircraft and they took the spot about 3 miles north of the DZ. L&V Wind. Only the camera guy and a few people who realized the jump was screwed and started tracking made it back to the DZ.:D:D:D



I was on that load - weekend of our first ever NSL competition in our region. Getting out and looking for the other group and seeing .... "nothing". We had SP and DVG in our plane so the 'smaller way' was fun anyway even if we had to land WAY OFF.

"worst formation load - ever"

Funny for me - 1985, I had maybe 35 jumps and we were up on a 4-way. I left late and was on the right side of a friend for a star where I should have been on the left. I was out of control and sliding sideways straight at him and a little higher than the rest. As I approached, I reached down to fend off the bump and accidentally did a full barrelroll through his burble and caught his arm as I fell into the clean air - right into my slot. I got in 3rd. We couldn't really finish past that point due the laughing and surprise.

...
Driving is a one dimensional activity - a monkey can do it - being proud of your driving abilities is like being proud of being able to put on pants

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once one of the new guy was jumping first time hipmounted ripcord he never jumped it before he did all the time hand deploy pilotchute.
the first time he told he thought it was hand dploy chute so he threw away next jumphe took hand deployone and during pull he was holding it thinking its ripcod handle he drop the handle parachute was deploying and he deployed reserve and he came back and told he did cutaway so he lost main handle. when i told there was no ripcord to hold on he was dumb struck it happened in indian militray
life is a daring adventure or nothing at all

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Some of the funniest things I've seen and been part of are the "After the Sat. night Party" first sunday morning loads.Plenty of people "Barfing out the plane on the taxiway".1 time I did the freefall RW just great and all of a sudden realized I was rapidly approaching 1,000 ft.Big Opps(Serious Hangover not good!)(lol)Glad I don't drink like that anymore!Opened my main and landed in the middle of the airport.Didn't jump the rest of the day!Bitched myself out for not "Pulling My Reserve Instead"Yikes,be careful out there.rob

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the "After the Sat. night Party" first sunday morning loads.Plenty of people "Barfing out the plane on the taxiway".



Quote



One such Sunday...

We were doing 4way practice for the Nationals,
1/2 through the dive..my room mate gets a
real weird look on his face and just tracks away.


He lands a mile off the DZ and waves he's
okay...took him an hour to walk back in...

He explained that party the night prior
must have caused his bowels to let loose
at the most inopportune time...
[:/]

He said the WORST part was opening shock!
:o

The 'said icky material' squished up everywhere, coming out the top of his jumpsuit!
:|

He logged that one...

DUMPED HIGH!
:ph34r:












~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~

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Ok, I'll play.

It's 1975 and someone has just invented (or re-invented) the slider and we have just heard about it in Aurora IL. So, Bill Buchman the master rigger I work for decides to build a slider for my rings and ropes Stato-Star. I think this is a good idea also and we just sort of guess at how to make the thing since we hadn't actually seen one. We make a square of material with gromments at each corner about the same spacing as the risers would be when the canopy is open.

I'm going to make the jump on this thing and we decide to go with three chutes just in case. So I have my Strato-Star main, 26' Navy Conical reserve, and a belly wart 24' with no pilot chute (can't cutaway the 26' anyway). Up we go in Bill's Piper Vagabond.

Now, the Vagabond is a very small aircraft with limited seating (side by side, two place). I barely can get in with the three chute setup. But, off we go up to about 7500' for a hop and pop to see how this slider thingy works.

I push the door open and thrust myself out. At full stretch I come to a sudden stop as my foot is cought under the passenger seat. I look back up as I dangle in the wind blast and Bill is laughing so hard he can barely fly the plane! I'm thinking, glad he's having so much fun, what the hell am I going to do? I can't land this way and I seem pretty securely stuck...

Just as I'm about to see if I can do a situp from upside-down and in an 80 mph wind to try and get back in the plane, Bill rolls the aircraft 90 degrees to the right (still laughing his ass off) and I suddenly dislodge.

The slider worked as you would expect, sort of anti-climatic after the exit :P

Ahh, the good old days when anyone could test anything and we were young and indestructable...

-----------------------
Roger "Ramjet" Clark
FB# 271, SCR 3245, SCS 1519

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