Psyching Yourself Out?

[kirrz 0]

I started jumping back in November and had to take a 3.5 month break after AFF 1 due to circumstances. During the break, I was obsessed with jumping. I would watch videos, follow the forums compulsively etc..

Now I've been back for a bit and have started jumping again. The jumps have been going well. 2 weeks ago, I failed level 4. It was purely the psychological thing of having to exit with 1 instructor rather than 2. I completely kicked on exit and just totally flipped out during the jump. I'm generally quite comfortable once in terminal velocity but on this jump I don't know why, I wouldn't let go of my instructor and was just at full panic. It was the first jump I have ever had video-d and I was bad!

Anyways, at the time I didn't think anything. It has now been 2 weeks since that jump. I have the money to keep jumping set aside, the weather has been awesome, I have even organized a lift to the DZ and woken up and been ready to go on 2 occasions but ended up staying home. The thing is, I feel like I am somehow psyching myself out from jumping but don't understand this feeling nor do I know how to combat it.

When I'm in the air, I love it. I definitely want to move on and try out skydiving disciplines. I don't think I have fallen out of love with the sport but for some reason, I just can't bring myself to get to the DZ and jump. And it's no longer an obsession point in my life. What happened?

I know I could force myself to go and just jump but forcing myself to jump out a plane just seems a bit ironic. I want to feel that longing and urge to be in the sky before going back out again. Is my attitude wrong?

Has something like this happened to anyone? Do you think this is simply a case of psyching myself out? What is going on???????? What to do? How do I get over it?

Thanks!

(I'm also quickly approaching level 6 and the thought of jumping alone scares me to death so that could have something to do with it...)

[TheDonMan 0]

I am an AFF instructor and i have seen a lot of students have a bad skydives after an exit has gone bad. The student is tougher on themselves then the instructor is on them. Usually I try to get them to go back up the same day so they don't take it home with them.

As for one instructor vs. two, at our DZ on level 2 you are with only one instructor. the only time you have two in on your level 1 jump.

A little secret...... your starting to understand the dangers of the sport. On the plane ride up you have a lot of time to think about what can go wrong and then you start second guessing your self. This happened to me during my first year skydiving. On the ground I was a bad ass skydiver but in the plane I would ask myself "why am I really doing this" all the way up to the door. Once out the door it was all good.....
I have found that the longer you wait between jump the more you psych your self out. The thing to remember is that one instructor is just as good at two especially at the level your at. If the exit goes bad, relax, arch, get stable, know thy altitude and continue on with what you planned on the ground. Never give up during the skydive!!!!

The best way to get over this is to JUMP...... Everyone has some sort of anxiety that they must overcome. Its part of any hard core sport or hobby. It will pass in time and if not theirs always bowling

I hope you stay in the sport. The more you jump the easier it is to leave the plane.

Blue sky!!!

The world is full of willing people, some willing to work, the rest willing to let them.

[PRSKY71 0]

I can totally relate. I am doing levels 2 & 3 tomorrow and again, as last time I am on the brake of sheer panic. Dunno -- as I can close my eyes and envision the total exhilaration but for some reason I too find myself wanting to find excuses not to go. What an awful feeling!! But the best of luck to you and I hope these wonderful people can give you some guidance.

Character cannot be made except by a steady, long continued process. -- Phillips Brooks

[Mostly_Harmless 0]

You need to get down to the DZ and hang out there even if you don't jump. If you are at home there is no chance of you jumping. But if you are at the DZ then you can go either way. I think you also need to trust your instructor(s), he is there for a reason. Don't be afriad to let go, know that if anything goes wrong he is only a feet away from helping you. I felt that same way as you a few times during AFF but I made the jump each and everytime. Why? Because I told myself that I really enjoyed the freefall and if I am not going to get out that door now then I never will, and I didn't want that. Who cares if you did bad on your video, as you said it was your first time being taped! Don't expect to be turning points on a dime. Sit down with your instructor and go over the video to see whats wrong. Learn from your mistakes. Also ask your instructor to throw you a big smile everyonce in a while during the freefall. That might remind you to do the same. I believe the only way to combat your fear is to get up there and keep trying. Force yourself to the DZ, know that at the DZ you have the choice to jump or not. Most importantly have fun! I am sure that you will over come it

_________________________________________
www.myspace.com/termvelocity

[Hawkins121 0]

I couldnt read my altimeter my first 3 jumps in AFF... Sounds weird but I was so amped in freefall that I couldnt focus on the numbers... Needless to say I had to redo one of the jumps.. After I chilled out everything went well.

Just relax some.. People kept telling me that in AFF and I didnt understand how powerful that advice actually is.

[rsmn17 0]

You sound EXACTLY like me! I started out last summer, did 6 aff jumps, then took a 5 month break. I was completely obsessed during the time off just like you. I was pretty scared for that first jump back so i just took it slow and did a jump where my instructor didn't release from me. It went really well and the next jump that day went even better. I think what you have to do is just keep picturing in your head what it will be like to have a great jump and then just go do it! If most of your anxiety is coming from being alone, repeat a level or just have your instructor go up with you and just hang out in freefall with no real objectives for that jump. If you take away the pressure of trying to perform certain tasks you'll probably give yourself a huge boost of confidence after that jump and realize why you love it so much. If you're having problems just going to the dropzone, just go one day and plan not to jump, just to hang out and watch. Most likely, you'll get the urge once you're there....i know i did! Good luck with everything and keep us posted!

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[kirrz 0]

About a minute after I pressed enter on that post.. I thought, fuck it. I'm going. At least at the DZ I can talk about my fear and listen to other people tell me about their embarassing stories and fuckups.

So I went.. and I had an AFFI that I've never had before. And he was amazing. You're supposed to get a 20 minute briefing. He hung out with me for over 2 hours and listened to everything I had to say.

I jumped. I got out of a Skyvan rather than an XL and was a bit scared about the exit (it's actually so much easier) but I nailed the fear. It's an incredible landmark. He talked me through the jump and relaxed me so much that seriously my only aim of the jump was to test my love of the sport and exit stable-ly.

I remember the entire exit - no blackout - and it was fine.

I did fail the jump - was still a bit wobbly in freefall but it was the best jump I ever did. I'm really glad I went.

A lot of people have sent me PMs saying they are having similar thoughts (thanks guys!). I guess there are a few things I learnt today that I'd like to share and maybe it'll help others out.

- Nobody is perfect. Someone at my DZ failed level 4 20 something times and now he is a great jumper. So if in doubt, think of him.

- Failure is not the end of the world. At first I really wanted to get off AFF as soon as possible. Now I'd like to feel comfortable on a personal level with each stage before moving on.

- The exit is about 10 seconds of the jump. Are you really going to let 10 seconds of fear (in proportion to the 10ish minutes of the jump) stop you from skydiving?

And seriously.. go to the dropzone. All the people who said to go even if you don't jump are right. It's really different being in a room by yourself with these thoughts than being in that environment. It is so easy to psych yourself out especially if you don't have anyone to psych you up and present the other side of the argument.

I'm so glad I went today. I really cannot emphasize the importance of at least going down to the dropzone if you think you are in danger of psyching yourself out, it is like giving the sport an honest chance!!

[gemini 0]

Hey I failed several levels too! Didn't think I would ever get comfortable in the air. I kept trying to push on the air for support.

When I finally relaxed I was amazed at how smooth and comfortable it was.

Analyze why you failed and move on. Don't let your anxieties about jumping build up and hold you back. Use each jump and learn how to fix those things that need fixing.

Close your eyes on the ground and visualize yourself performing the exit and in freefall. See yourself doing the specific things you need to do to make the jump successful. It will really help.

Blues,

Jim

[yamtx73 0]

Way to go!! I knew you could do it if you went to the dz, I'm also glad you found an instructor who could/would take the time to sit and talk with you. I found one like that as well, I still had to redo some jumps but I felt completely comfortable and now look forward to each jump....

The only naturals in this sport shit thru feathers...

[rsmn17 0]

Congrats

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[thegreekone 0]

I remember my first failed jump. It seemed like I hot too much to do with too little altitude and I panicked. Spent most of the dive on my back . ANYWAY, finally just relaxed and got stable and pulled a tad lower than were I was suppossed to. Instructor knew exactly what was buigging me so he took me up higher and I everything perfectly. Landed and he walked up to me and said, "you actually looked like a skydiver up there." It was a watershed moment.
Good instructors are priceless.

[Griff69 0]

Congrats on getting back up! I'm still waiting for a break in the weather here, but I can certainly relate... For me, the ride up and the walk to the door got progressively more frightening. In fact, I discovered last week that even watching people's videos there's a difference. Freefall and canopy stuff is great, but seeing the inside of the plane and the exit, my stomach does loops. I'm glad to know I'm not the only one with butterflies on the ride. I'll work on not psyching myself out and I'll look for you in the air.

Chris

"Democracy is two wolves and a sheep voting on what to have for dinner. Liberty is two wolves attempting to have a sheep for dinner and finding a well-informed, well-armed sheep."

[tbrown 26]

I came up through static line, but failed all kinds of "levels" too. (If we did well, we'd get to go higher for longer freefall delays, starting with simple hop & pops, then going to 5 second delays, 10 seconds, 15 seconds & so on.) I was stuck on hop & pops and 5 second delays for about 2 months and my logbook is full of instructor's comments like, "stable by coincidence only". This is NOT an easy or natural thing you're learning and all your instincts are telling you not to do it at all. But there will come a jump when it works. After that some will still be better than others and some worse, but by and large you will have turned the corner on it.

The fear will get a lot more manageable too. Right now your rational mind is trying to tell you you've gone crazy. Every now and then you'll continue to get that no matter how many jumps you make. But you can learn to understand your fears and you'll learn A LOT about the stuff you're made of and how to use your honest fears to keep you sharp and honest in the sky.

If you ever lose all your fears, then you've got a real problem. But you last jump sounds very encouraging, so just stick with it, don't let anything discourage you and just keep jumping. You'll be fine.

Your humble servant.....Professor Gravity !

[MarkM 0]

Quote

- The exit is about 10 seconds of the jump. Are you really going to let 10 seconds of fear (in proportion to the 10ish minutes of the jump) stop you from skydiving?

Fear is such a powerful emotion and it's probably the number one thing that holds people back in life. All skydivers had to learn to manage fear to get through their jumps, so you're experiencing pretty much what everyone felt as a student. But the cool thing about it, is when you learn to manage your fear in skydiving you can apply the same principles to manage it in other areas of your life.

[Nightingale 0]

If you're anywhere near a wind tunnel, talk to your instructors about what they would think of you going there for ten minutes or so in the tunnel. could do wonders for your confidence.

[popsjumper 2]

My $0.02...

You said:
"It has now been 2 weeks since that jump. I have the money to keep jumping set aside, the weather has been awesome, I have even organized a lift to the DZ and woken up and been ready to go on 2 occasions but ended up staying home. The thing is, I feel like I am somehow psyching myself out from jumping but don't understand this feeling nor do I know how to combat it. "

Herein lies the problem - 2 weeks between jumps.
Know that anxiety is normal. What you are experiencing is quite common.

On top of that, it appears that you don't have confidence in yourself nor your instructors...Hey, you've gotten this far successfully, what's to stop you from getting better and better able to handle things? Not jumping will stop you in your tracks!

Have you forgotten the thrill of the first jump? The anticipation of doing the second? The goal of jumping on your own?

But, on the other hand...skydiving is not for everyone...do not let anyone "talk you into" anything related to skydiving. It must come from your heart, not anyone else's.

I wish you well on any decision you make...just let it be your decision.

My reality and yours are quite different.
I think we're all Bozos on this bus.
Falcon5232, SCS8170, SCSA353, POPS9398, DS239

[BannanaGirl 0]

Well done girl!

I flunked my level 5 several times and all of it was because I was all tensed up in freefall and not RELAXING! The pressure to perform all that is required of you is intense...the fear of failure can be overwhelming as well. Like it has been said my instructors were nowhere near as hard on me as I was on myself. You can kinda get yourself into a psychological trap I guess.

I was flying under my canopy at 2 grand on one of the attempts thinking "That went shit and I really do not want to do this anymore. I have had it with this damn sport". But then I realised I did want to do it and got on with it, finally succeeding.

My head played all sorts of strange games on me throughout the course. Some jumps I would pratically be so realxed on the ride up I was nearly asleep, other jumps I had a very real sense of dread about my own mortallity and some very strange things going round my head to make the experience all the more terrifying! But like it has been said I knew once I was in that door I still loved being in the air and you do too.

For me this experience is not just about skydiving but about going through a process of facing and embracing fear. I think it has changed me as a person already and this is early days. Had I given in at the point I could quite easiliy have done I know I would be sitting here right now nursing a bruised and saddened ego, trying to work out how to get back in the air again.

So keep at it and all the best with your subsequent jumps.

Dix

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[kirrz 0]

There is no wind tunnel in the whole continent! It's a shame considering Jamioquai has one in his backyard
---
Thanks to everyone for all the encouragement! It really does make a difference!

[cocheese 0]

Picture being able to go to any dz in the world and being in the air there in as little time as it takes to fill out the forms and gear up.

[obligaited 0]

I sat and read your post and shook my head in agreement, but I can say DONT GIVE UP -- IF you really want to jump. My first AFF the spot was a little long, we had a full plane and I took forever getting out the door (ripped out by instructor actually) at 8500 I got the pull sign and pulled. My instructor realized we were way out and he wanted to make sure we made it back. My two instructors made it back, I landed in a cow field about a mile away with these instructions on the radio "pick a clear spot and flare when you think you need to" because they couldn't see me from the trees. I rode the canopy down thinking I had done something really bad to get the "pull" signal. AND I rode that airplane up every single AFF jump saying to myself "when I get down this is it. I am not jumping anymore. Why in the hell am I here." BUT when I was in the air, I had a blast. It took me 11 jumps to get off AFF -- all because I physched myself out!!!!! I was always so tense. Anyway, over 100 jumps and one year later, I am still jumping. . . and I am still scared to all get out every plane ride, but once I am in the air, it is the best thing on earth. If I could just get to 15000 instantly, I would be just perfectly fine!!!! Good Luck

People Too Weak To Follow Their Own Dreams Will Always Keep You From Following Yours.

[Andy9o8 0]

I've posted this before for other novices with the jitters. What you're feeling is very normal. When I was a novice, a few times I'd barf upon arrival at the DZ. Not a major public heave all over my shoes; just a little discreet one after sneaking out behind a hangar. You've been ground-bound all your life (and your ancestors have been ground-bound for millions of years of evolution), so jumping out of a plane and being in freefall is counter to everything your brain instinctively tells you to do. I find that what helps reduce the psyched-out feeling is currency - the more often you jump, the more natural less unnatural it will seem. You're acclimating your brain to exist in a very foreign environment. Give it time.