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AFFI

What if you had to give up skydiving?

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Hi all,

In my life, outside of family and personal relationships skydiving has definitely been my greatest passion. The first AFF jump I chickened out in the door, my JM called the pilot for a go around and by the time we were back on jump run he had talked me into making the exit. He did not have to do that, he could have rode the plane down and made his cash and not have to pack, but I sure am glad he made the extra effort. I was terrified in the door but the very moment we left the airplane all the fear was gone and in its place an incredible and indescribably wonderful experience that overtook my whole being. For 60 seconds there were no bills, no negative emotions, in fact no worries what so ever, just me my instructors and my whole universe was at peace, it was a very spiritual experience. When I made my first jump I was dealing with issues in life, depression, anxiety attacks – I had nearly lost the will to live and had given up on life. I believe that skydiving literally saved my life and I knew right away that I was going to become an instructor. Over the years I have seen skydiving help many I have taught who were dealing with issues in life as well but in skydiving they discovered a release from their frustrations, they discovered that skydiving builds self confidence and self esteem and they found a society of wonderful people, diverse, a group that would not ordinarily mix but amongst them exists the common bond that binds them – skydiving.

What if I had to stop skydiving? What if I could never experience solo freefall or instruct again? Will the issues I was suffering from rear their ugly head again even worse than before? It has been my intention to continue to skydive until I am dead; the mere thought of not being able to skydive again, to instruct in particular almost brings tears to my eyes, yet:

I have a tumor, as if to think there is actually a “good” place for a tumor the one that is in my body is in a particularly bad location. It has grown into my spinal cord located at the T-12 vertebrae down to the L-4 and has caused a considerable amount of pain. Soon I will be laying face down on an operating table, my back will be cut into deeply, several of my vertebrae will be cut into and cracked open exposing my spinal column and many major nerves as this tumor is delicately removed from my body. I might die, I might be paralyzed, I might recover with varying and unknown degrees of disability - but irregardless of the outcome the road ahead is going to be difficult and painful. Somewhere I once read that courage is not the lack of fear but rather the ability to take action in spite of it and I have waited until the pain left me with no other alternative. Courage is being forced upon me. The time is drawing near and the closer it gets the more I feel the anxiety, the more I become breathless with anticipation, the more I am eager to run and at the same time stand fast and get it over with. I am scarred, brave, terrified, courageous, and nervous and calm simultaneously – the array of emotions are leaving me in a dumfounded quagmire of confused sensitivity that is unpleasantly intoxicating. I just spent a week doing nothing but skydiving because it is very possible that I will not be able to ever jump again after this surgery which will be taking place next week. Over all, my attitude is very positive, have found a very adept neurosurgeon and I have every expectation that I will make an astoundingly good recovery but… There are always buts…

I am thankful the wonderful family God has blessed me with, I am thankful for what skydiving has given in my life, and I am thankful for being able to have some of the most wonderful relationships in my life with the most incredibly magnificent people, skydivers…

“We are all here to do what we are all here to do” – the Oracle…
Mykel AFF-I10
Skydiving Priorities: 1) Open Canopy. 2) Land Safely. 3) Don’t hurt anyone. 4) Repeat…

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what a great post (not the info) but full of honesty and gratitude You said that God has blessed you.. If you truley believe that .. You also have to believe that he will not put anything on your plate that you cant handle.. and You are exactly where you are supposed to be.
Mark:)

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Mykel, no matter what you're a skydiver. Really. It might take awhile to know what the future holds, but it'll be more than you can imagine regardless.

Holler.

Wendy W.
There is nothing more dangerous than breaking a basic safety rule and getting away with it. It removes fear of the consequences and builds false confidence. (tbrown)

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All anyone can do is make the most out of life with whatever is there. Happiness should not be dependent on what happens in your life, but how you handle what happens. Try to make the best of any situation. I know that is a very hard thing to do, but life is always worth living.

"Death smiles on us all, best a man can do is smile back." Gladiator

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MYKEL

My thoughts and prayers are with you during this difficult time. Stay strong and believe in yourself that you will make it through this and will be able to skydive again. I wish you all the best and hope and pray for a complete recovery.



Blue Skies and Stand-up Landings!!!!!!

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Tunnel scratches the itch nicely if you can't skydive ;):)
More seriously, I wish you all the luck and vibes in the world w. your surgery. I will keep you and your family in my thought for the week to come. The good luck candle will be lit for you.

I wish there was something more I could say...
Tunnel Pink Mafia Delegate
www.TunnelPinkMafia.com

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Thankyou for posting this here.
Your situation brought up some stuff for me.
I woke up once lying tied to a hospital bed . My first reaction was to try and get up and out. A nurse appeared and told me brashly to stop moving as I had a broken back.
I felt my life disappearing in the following realisation of not being able to ever walk again. I fell apart. they moved me to a problem ward. I had been a highly active person and a keen spearfisher as well as skydiver. I was in my early 20's . To say I was devastated is putting it mildly. Life? what sort of a life was I going to have compared to the one previously enjoyed.?

My parents arrived from half way across the country and after a bit of more reasonable communication with the doctors and nurses I was told that I would be able to walk after all. The sadistic nurse was no-where around.

It took a while but eventually I could RUN.

Then I went back skydiving . Instead of being a complete sky imp that didn't want to live to be 30 ('cause it was too old) I turned into a cautious person out of necessity. I don't mind telling people what I think ....usually... especially if I think it'll stop them from having to learn things the way I did.

I still hurt... all the time. but now I know what's important . Every moment has it's joys. Welcome to a select club mate . Once you arrive you know you're not alone but it's still lonely. Not many can share your pain but you'll find them.

You know what's meant by live every moment. It's not because it may be your last it's because its yours.

:)

PS love the bit about skydiving being a spiritual experience ...same for me.

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Mykel,

I'm saddened to hear what you are and will be going through. My thoughts are with you.

I think Wendy had a very good point: no matter what, you are a skydiver. I would go so far as to add that even if you were forced to cease skydiving, you would still be a skydiver: one of the surprisingly few people in this world who understood the great joy of freefall and canopy flight.

I don't have the jump numbers or experience of other jumpers, but I've been around dropzones (both real and virtual) long enough and met enough skydivers to know that there is a common theme that makes us all similar. I can't quite articulate it, but I think it comes close to say that it has something to do with an almost aggressive willingness to say "yes" to life, to accept challenges and risks, and to engage in an activity that is fueled by both risk and joy.

Even when we learn from the incidents forum -- when we've lost friends -- we are acknowledging the efforts of those who have gone before us, and we're affirming, in a small way, their sacrifice. We're a life affirming bunch.

You in particular know this. From the brief email exchange we had a few months ago, I realized you have a love of teaching. You want to help people and share a great joy that you have in life. That won't change even if it turns out that you could no longer skydive. Your day to day routine might change, your career might change, and your experiences might change, but the fundamental aspect of your character that made you both a skydiver and an instructor won't change. You will continue to be you, and even if you never jump again, you will continue to be a skydiver.

- Jeff

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Mykel,

Your post is overwhelming. Your love of skydiving, teaching and the concern you are facing would be emotional for any one of us. For those who teach, there is no value one can place on the entusiasm of a first jump student. That is something that you never have to give up. I once saw an ad here on dz.com by a DZ looking for an instructor who "may" not be able to skydive anymore, but would still like to teach. I think it's an excellent idea and should it be deemed you not be able to skydive anymore, your input and value to skydiving never has to stop - and I would hope you wouldn't.

That aside, let's hope, pray, wish and give vibes for the best and hope that in the near future you will be posting great things about recovery. I'm sure I'm not alone when I ask that you keep us posted, let us know how you're doing and if we can help.

Best wishes...
Nobody has time to listen; because they're desperately chasing the need of being heard.

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Mykel,

We will all be thinking of you at Spaceland as you recover and make your way back into the air. You have a wonderful passion for the sky and it shows in what you say and do.

Even if you are not in the plane over the next few months I am sure that we will all hear you shouting, "Have fun bellyfliers!!" as only you can.

My thoughts and prayers are with you during the surgery and recovery. Don't hesitate to ask if you need anything.
Blue Skies!!!
Kimmy

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I can't believe you were so honest...

All I can say is, when you walk into the hospital, you probably will chicken out in the door like you did on your 1st AFF... The surgeons will take you around for a go around, you will be ready, and you will survive...

Of all the people I have known with spinal cord related issues, the good guys always win...

Please have someone in your family log in on your account and post your status, so we can send vibes...

Travis

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I'm sorry to hear of the news but wish you the all the best. Thank you for sharing your story. We'll all be here wishing you every success and that the outcome will be the best possible one. We look forward to the post that says:

"Fully recovered and did my first return skydive" by AFFI

:)
Life is short! Break the rules! Forgive quickly! Kiss slowly! Love truly, Laugh uncontrollably. And never regret anything that made you smile.

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Re: [AFFI] What if you had to give up skydiving?<<<

It is not fun.

I went to the little 182 local last weekend. Thought I could live vicarously through them. Of course I was welcomed and it was a nice feeling. Then the S&TA asked in front of all 4 of them "When I was gonna jump again?" I had to respond "I am not sure."[:/]

I believe you have to walk to run, and you have to run to jump. Heal my brother. The plane, your rig, and your skydiving family will be here waiting for you when you return. You will return that is certain.:)
Until then, I'll keep you in my prayers, and wish a speedy recovery to you. If you need anything, well you know how to reach us.:)
<<< healing vibes>>>

Big Nelli
_________________________________________

Someone dies, someone says how stupid, someone says it was avoidable, someone says how to avoid it, someone calls them an idiot, someone proposes rule chan

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Mikel,

Your post is reflective of what it is to be a skydiver.

In your own words
Quote

I had nearly lost the will to live and had given up on life. I believe that skydiving literally saved my life and I knew right away that I was going to become an instructor


Worst scenario, you won't be able to jump again, but you will always be a skydiver and can continue to positively influence, inspire and teach both new and old skydivers.

Thank you
Inveniam Viam aut Faciam
I'm back biatches!

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Mykel, I remember when we first met at the DZ in San Marcos. You have grown tremendously in the past few, and I think you are a much better person now than then (heh, wait, that came out wrong -- I mean that only in the best way). You have embraced the skydiving life far more than most, and kept your passion and energy at a truly infectious level. I don't make it to Spaceland often, but when I do I am afforded the pleasure of watching you with students, newbies and old farts alike. Your attitude motivates me to want to do better with others.

I should think that this attitude comes from within, and is not due to skydiving, but rather was there all along and perhaps liberated by the jumps. No matter what the future holds for you, this inner strength will help you overcome the tribulation headed your way. But more than that, you are not alone. You have enriched many lives. I know many others will say the same, but I want you to know that you will be in my thoughts and prayers.

Heal up, bro!

-- Dave

Quote

What if I had to stop skydiving? What if I could never experience solo freefall or instruct again? Will the issues I was suffering from rear their ugly head again even worse than before? It has been my intention to continue to skydive until I am dead; the mere thought of not being able to skydive again, to instruct in particular almost brings tears to my eyes....

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Sounds like you have the BIG version of what I went through in 1987 and 1988.
I "only" herniated a disc, but the muscle cramps and pain caused by sciatica had me contemplating sawing off my own left leg.
In the end, I recovered enough to do another 3,000 tandems.
How does that song
"I wish that had known then
what I know now
when I was younger."

I would have done far more sit-ups and stretching to pull my spine into correct alignment. Those exercises could have shaved a year off my recovery.

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