skydivings impact on your relationship

[fpritchett64 0]

I'm fairly new to skydiving regularly, been involved with the sport for about 6 years or so, but just recently finished AFF. Anyway, I've been in the relationship I'm in now for a little better than a year. My fiance could care less about skydiving, has no interest in the sport and gets pissed off anytime I mention anything about it.

How many people have successfully continued a relationship where the other half had no interest in the sport?

I know there is no way I could stop jumping, although the relationship has started somewhat going downhill because of it, I'm beginning to think that I would be happier if I were single, or if I were in a relationship with someone that could share the same feelings that I have with skydiving.

Has anyone ever ended a relationship because the other person was not willing or interested in the sport?

Do you think I'd be happier if I found someone that loved this sport as much as I do?

Thanks for any input or advise that you may have

[peregrinerose 0]

You will get a million answers here, for both sides, but reality is, it's your relationship, do what's best for you.

Do or do not, there is no try -Yoda

[AggieDave 6]

I've seen quite a few jumpers stop jumping due to a similar SO. I've seen jumpers have relationships end that way too.

It depends on you and your SO, so work this out now before you get further along in the relationship.

--"When I die, may I be surrounded by scattered chrome and burning gasoline."

[TALONSKY 0]

I had done two tandems when I started dating my now wife. She does not have any interest in ever jumping and in her mind what I do is very dangerous. I now have been in the sport for seven years and one day a weekend I am a tandem instructor. We have come to some compromises in that time: 1. The money used for skydiving had to come from another source other than my normal job (until I became a tandem instructor, I held two jobs to pay for skydiving), 2. I would limit my time at the DZ to only the jumping day and not stay later. We have a great relationship and key to it is comunication and compromise.
Kirk

[fpritchett64 0]

she doesn't have a problem with me skydiving, she just doesn't want to hear about it or be a part of it, I guess its just making me unhappy because I see all these couples who skydive together, and the happiness they share. I don't have it here, and thats something I really want.

How many of you who are married or in a relationship of any kind has a SO who regularly skydives with you?

[peregrinerose 0]

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How many of you who are married or in a relationship of any kind has a SO who regularly skydives with you?

My husband and I were married 2 years that he was a jumper and I had never even been to the DZ and did not want to hear about his jumping other than when he would call to let me know he was on the ground in one piece.

We have both been jumping for 2 years. Most of the time we love sharing the DZ and working together as packers. But there are days we wish we didn't share the DZ (and take advantage of legally throwing each other out of the plane

Do or do not, there is no try -Yoda

[fpritchett64 0]

Maybe it's more so myself rather than her, she doesn't have a problem with me jumping, all bills are paid, and most of the money used for jumping comes from me packing, it just sucks that I can't tell her some of the exciting moments that I have and have her be able to relate to it.

[AggieDave 6]

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How many of you who are married or in a relationship of any kind has a SO who regularly skydives with you?

I took my now wife on a tandem in October 3 years ago. She has 400+ jumps now and has become a very good coach (as well as soon to become a very good AFF-I). She's a very good skydiver. Although we don't do that many jumps together that often. She'll go do a RW jump and I'll be doing a swoop load or a tandem. She'll go up and do a clear and pull and I'll be FFing with someone. We do love being at the DZ together, though, even though we don't actually jump together all that often. We spend a lot of time on the same jump plane together, though.

--"When I die, may I be surrounded by scattered chrome and burning gasoline."

[Scoop 0]

On the contrary, the dropzone is my sanctuary. None of my friends from everyday life or before I started jumping have got involved and thats the way I like it.

The only impact I have felt is when you check the weather report before letting the new girl on the scene know if you'll be seeing her this weekend or not

[Kirky 0]

Relationships are about balance. When I first started a year ago I would jump every chance I could without thinking about anyone but myself. I have a wife and youg son who were getting pissed off with this. Than I had a reality check and realised that I had to make time for them as well, as they are the most important thing in my life. Now I balance family and skydiving and eveyone is happy. As my CI says, Happy Wife Happy Life.

[DougH 270]

It just reminded me about how dissatisfied I was with my current situation.

"The restraining order says you're only allowed to touch me in freefall"
=P

[darrenspooner 0]

My wife once said "I have no interest in expensive and dangerous sports thank you very much". It just so happens that I love my wife more than I love skydiving, so no biggie!

[PhreeZone 14]

I've seen jumpers stop because of their family, I've seen jumpers split from their SO to jump. Some of those end up quiting jumping after less then a year, others are still around a few years later with new SO's. Skydiving can easly become totally absorbing, its important to keep a balence between your dropzone time and your family time. Its something I've struggled with for a while but recently priorities are changing for me so I am happy only getting to jump a weekend out of 3-4 now instead of my former every weekend.

Yesterday is history
And tomorrow is a mystery

Parachutemanuals.com

[Elisha 1]

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I've seen jumpers stop because of their family, I've seen jumpers split from their SO to jump. Some of those end up quiting jumping after less then a year, others are still around a few years later with new SO's. Skydiving can easly become totally absorbing, its important to keep a balence between your dropzone time and your family time. Its something I've struggled with for a while but recently priorities are changing for me so I am happy only getting to jump a weekend out of 3-4 now instead of my former every weekend.

One kinda dilema I see from someone on the lower experience end is that to get the experience to safely jump high(er) performance canopies, you need to jump a lot, but you can't jump a lot and have a life other than skydiving. Hmmmm....(and my canopy is just a square!)

[DrewEckhardt 0]

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How many people have successfully continued a relationship where the other half had no interest in the sport?

Lots. My wife doesn't skydive.

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Has anyone ever ended a relationship because the other person was not willing or interested in the sport?

Lots.

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Do you think I'd be happier if I found someone that loved this sport as much as I do?

Roughly speaking I figure that I spend 49 hours a week sleeping and 45 at work getting to or from there. That leaves 74 hours to do other things of which I seem to spend at most 8 skydiving (weather, coordinating with people to jump with, other interests....). Sharing most of what goes on the other 90% of the time is a lot more satisfying than the rest of the time.

Obviously there are compromises. I don't skydive every weekend and we sometimes make trips where there's not much for a non-skydiver to do.

You have to do what's right for you.

[AggieDave 6]

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Skydiving can easly become totally absorbing, its important to keep a balence between your dropzone time and your family time. Its something I've struggled with for a while but recently priorities are changing

Yes, very much so. Its even worst when you work a night shift but your wife works normal hours. So it takes quite a bit of work to keep your life balanced with your family commitments. If you think your family is worth it, then you work to make everything work. If your family thinks that your hobbies are important, then they'll work to help you as well. You can substitute any hobby, be it cars, motorcycles, golf, skydiving or just about anything else. Its not unique to skydiving.

--"When I die, may I be surrounded by scattered chrome and burning gasoline."

[NewGuy2005 51]

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Maybe it's more so myself rather than her, she doesn't have a problem with me jumping, all bills are paid, and most of the money used for jumping comes from me packing, it just sucks that I can't tell her some of the exciting moments that I have and have her be able to relate to it.

I jump, my wife has no interest in it. She respects my desire to do it and I think she recognizes that she benefits from my jumping because it makes me happy.

My wife didn't really want to hear about it at first, but she listens to my stories now. It is possible that she is just being polite, but that's good enough for me.

Like you, I am sometimes envious of the jumping couples and jumping families. However, when I go jump, it is a great chance to get completely away since my wife and daughters are not there and and off doing their own thing. In summary, I'm pretty happy my non-jumping wife.

If she's REALLY OK with your jumping, I'd say you have a pretty good deal. It is also a good opportunity, early in your relationship, to assert what you need and for both of you to understand that you sometimes you want different things, which is OK.

If she really is not OK with it, I would suggest that you get this worked out before you get married.

If you decide that you want a jumping wife, you have just eliminated 99+ percent of the available candidates for a wife. That's something to think about.

Anyone else in a similar arrangement have any thoughts on this?

[frenchcloud 0]

Like i ve been told before, and I agree,
Avoid using the word 'skydiving' and the word 'impact' in the same sentence...

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The tongue is NOT only a tool for speech!

[Travman 6]

I am onto my 4th girlfriend since I started jumping (first 3 went in the first year)

When I started I was fairly new into a relationship and we just drifted apart as I spent more time jumping, lasted a few months into the sport.

The next girl HATED jumping. Always complained that I wasn't spending enough time with her and that I could get hurt (which did happen at one point). I always told her I was a skydiver when she met me and it actually made me jump more because I wasn't going to put up with her crap about not jumping. Needless to say that lasted about 4 months.

Next girl didn't care too much about jumping, but I just didn't have enough time to put the effort into the relationship. So it just died out.

My current girlfriend I met whilst I was grounded for a couple of months with an injury, which made things easier in the start. She also loves her sport (except its cricket, soccer etc) so warned me that she can be pretty busy on weekends which was music to my ears.
Thats been going on for 7 months now. Its been helped with winter so I am not jumping as much at the moment due to the ski season and work. Into summer both of our sports will pick up again and hopefully it will work out.

I was never really interested in finding a skydiving girlfriend because skydiving is my release, a change to get away from everything and have fun.

[Jumpah 0]

The possibility that you found your one greatest soulmate match among all the possible billions of mates in the world is exceedingly long odds. You need to decide if she'll ever be OK with it. I feel that from what you've written she's not OK with it...allowing you do do it so long as you never ever talk about may just be her biding time untl she can figure out how to kill skydiving. =)

Next thing to think about is whether its just skydiving, or whether its anything that takes you away from her. Jealousy rears its head in strange ways.

Figure out what makes you happy and follow through. Talk with her...be honest and open...try to get to the root. I've found that when you feel something you need to discuss it with your partner. It will be a hard discussion I'm sure.

[BannanaGirl 0]

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On the contrary, the dropzone is my sanctuary. None of my friends from everyday life or before I started jumping have got involved and thats the way I like it.

The only impact I have felt is when you check the weather report before letting the new girl on the scene know if you'll be seeing her this weekend or not

I totally agree with this post for how I feel about skydiving and relationships.

In a nutshell I left my SO not long after completing my AFF but it was the skydiving that just accelerated my yearning to cutaway anyway.

I am happy to be single for now but I do believe that as skydiving is such a huge part of my life and the DZ is my happy place...it will be inevitable that I hook up with another skydiver one day. But I am not thinking that far ahead yet.

On the other hand one of my very close friends has started coming up with me and is doing a RAPS course. It dawned on me last night that I may have made a HUGE mistake letting her into my "sanctary" as when I am jumping I leave my "other" life behind. She is part of my "other" life and although I adore her and would do anything for her...sometimes I just need to "cutaway" and have a break y'know.

I could imagine this could be the same for realtionships in the sport.

If you are not happy in your present realtionship for whatever reason than sort it out. But don't attach to much romaticism to skydiving. From what I can see they are a bunch of depraved and no good scumbags. You may as well join in on all the fun for a while and worry about girlfrined stuff a bit further down the line.

[PhreeZone 14]

Having a SO in the sport isn't always the best thing either. They tend to know when you do something stupid and yell a lot more then someone that does'nt understand the difference between getting out at 17000 feet vs 1700

Yesterday is history
And tomorrow is a mystery

Parachutemanuals.com

[Dumpster 0]

It's what you put into it, man.

If you want to keep jumping and want to keep your relationship together and strong, you'll figure out a way to accomplish that. But you're SO has to be willing to work to that end, too, and both of you need to come to terms with the fact that there are going to be some rough-ass moments, and that is true weather you're a skydiver or not. Fact is, all relationships take work, and all realtionships require 100% plus form both parties on order to thrive.

Skydiving didn't kill my last marriage, but it was a contributing factor in an already weak relationship.

Easy Does It

[cessnas 0]

Well i have grown up since the age of 2 in this sport with a father that jumped and a mother that to this day does not enjoy the sport or those that we jump with for the most part. I can say that i've seen many failed relationships over successful ones in the sport. If this is something you do once in a great while well it may not be a big deal but, for most its a lifestyle and if you find that person in your life is not interested this will lead to future issues. I've seen DZO's loose many marriage's, i've seen young guys find a girl when they were at the top of their game in skydiving and sell all the gear they owned before they could put thier clothes back on. I personally found that either meeting someone in the sport or finding someone that was not out to change my love and passion for such a great sport was the best mix. Either way i've passed up many of relationships to skydive.

[AggieDave 6]

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Having a SO in the sport isn't always the best thing either. They tend to know when you do something stupid and yell a lot more then someone that does'nt understand the difference between getting out at 17000 feet vs 1700

I made the mistake of not telling my wife I was going up on a clear and pull with a Velo 111 at Skyfest. She wasn't mad at me for jumping the canopy, just not telling her since she didn't notice me screaming into the landing area 2nd down on a goofy colored canopy. All she noticed is that my green and black XF2 wasn't in the sky and hadn't been in the sky the entire jump.

--"When I die, may I be surrounded by scattered chrome and burning gasoline."