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Gretsch

Nervous Husband - Wife jumping, please read

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Hi, I've just signed up today for this and I have never been here before and I really don't know if this is an appropriate place to ask this question, but after reading the descriptions, this seems to be the right place.

You are here, I would think, because you have an interest in skydiving. Please know I am not saying anything negative about the sport and my hat is off to all of you that are far braver than I am. I have come to you, the people who know the most about this sport to ask serious questions.

My wife had a dream that came true this past weekend. She had her first tandum. The person she jumped with is experienced. He has over 11k jumps. He was very professional and she had a great time. I however was a complete wreck. I was a good husband and didn't get in her way. She had a dream, I supported it. But what I didn't count on was that she'd want to keep doing it, as often as she can. But I don't think I can honestly take her jumping again. The thought of my wife dying doing this is more than I can bear. But I can't stand in her way. I can't make her stop. That would be completely wrong.

I read the fatality section, and I saw that even experienced people with many jumps can die, through no fault of their own.

Please tell me I'm overreacting. Please someone tell me that she will be fine. I guess I'm looking for a number that I can't find... like '1 out of every 100,000 jumps per year in the US is fatal'. I would like to know the real number.

I would also like to know how your spouses deal with your skydiving.

Thank you.

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Please someone tell me that she will be fine.



Nope, can't tell you that. But what I can tell you is to go out to the DZ with her and educate yourself on how everything works. Listen in on the training she is getting, and talk to her instructors. Note that I said "talk" to her instructors, not bug them.

You are in a marriage, and it's a two way street. You and your wife need to sit down and come up with an agreement that is going to work for both of you.

You seem like a very educated, supportive, loving husband. Good luck to you.

BTW, my husband was a skydiver, and we were even married doing a skydive. We had two great boys together, but he was taken from me and my boys by a skydiving accident. He was very experienced, and death with accidents can happen to anyone.

Again, good luck.
May your trails be crooked, winding, lonesome, dangerous, leading to the most amazing view. May your mountains rise into and above the clouds. - Edward Abbey

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Glad to hear your wife enjoyed her tandem. :)
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Please someone tell me that she will be fine.



I'm sorry. I wish that any of us could tell you that, but to do so would be a lie.

As you have seen, you can do everything right in this sport and die...or be injured...or jump again. There are no guarantees in life nor this sport.
Life is short! Break the rules! Forgive quickly! Kiss slowly! Love truly, Laugh uncontrollably. And never regret anything that made you smile.

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Correct me if I'm wrong somebody, but I think I have read the stats in the US being 1 fatality per roughly eveyr 166,000 jumps...

Its all about perspective. Surely skydiving is a dangerous sport, but to think that death is an imminent outcome of a skydive is just plain wrong. If its any comfort to you.. look at the people who post back to your message, lots of them will have over 1500 jumps (myself NOT included), some maybe as many as 5000... And these are some of THE most involved people in skydiving. They have lived through multiple THOUSAND jumps and are still doing just fine. Maybe she will, but odds are your wife is not going to become a skydive instructor and jump as many times as a lot of these folks have. Reading the fatalities section of this website will only cause you more anxiety... Think about if there were a "Successful skydive" category to this forum... It would have thousands of posts per day. Focusing on the fatality section and taking it out of context of how many jumps were done on that given day will only relay false notions to you about this sport..

Hell, maybe even make a jump for yourself to see what its all about. You can do it, you aren't too scared. You, and most people, can do a lot more than they think they can.
Just my 2 cents.

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I doubt that you will find a single person here that will tell you your wife will be fine. Most fatalities are the result of a mistake on the part of the jumper, but you are right, a person can do everything right and still die.

Go to the DZ, sit in on your wife's classes, learn about the sport and the safety measures that we all take to ensure that we are not the one to go in. Education is the best way for both of you to make the decision on jumping again or not.

You sound like a hell of a great husband, seeking out more information and doing your best to support your wife's dreams. She's a lucky woman:)

Do or do not, there is no try -Yoda

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Please tell me I'm overreacting. Please someone tell me that she will be fine.



Sorry, can't do that. Every time we jump we risk serious injury or death; goes hand in hand with throwing ourselves at the ground at a high rate of speed, relying only on some fabric and strings to save our lives.

That said, the majority of skydiving incidents (fatalities and injuries) are caused by operator error - ie we do something stupid or don't do something we should have done. There is a lot we can do to reduce the risks we take; some examples are getting gear checks before jumping, not doing things that are beyond our current skill level, flying our canopies in a conservative manner, etc.

So no one can say categorically that your wife will be fine if she decides to pursue skydiving as a sport/hobby. What we can say is that if she actively manages the risks involved (ie decides the level of risks she is comfortable with and skydives respecting those risk levels), the likelihood of her dying or being seriously injured is less than if she doesn't actively manage the risks involved.

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I would also like to know how your spouses deal with your skydiving.



My S/O has four times the number of jumps that I do. ;)

IBAD

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Please tell me I'm overreacting. Please someone tell me that she will be fine.



I can say that you're overreacting, but I can't say your wife will be fine. Accidents happen in all facets of life. You can prepare for them, but you can never eliminate the possibility. Sorry, but that's just a fact of life.

You should re-read the incident reports, very few people die in this sport "through no failure of their own." Errors in judgment are the overwhelming contributor to fatalities and injuries, whether it be an error in flying the parachute or an error in choosing the type of parachute to fly. There are a few instances of "doing everything right & still dying" but they are very rare.


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I have read everyone's replies carefully, and I sincerely appreciate your honesty and respect. I have to support her, and I will find a way to do it. I will go the the DZ and be there to welcome her back to earth. I don't think I could ever jump. I am not brave enough for that. But I'll cheer her on.

Thank you everyone. I really appreciate yout time. I will keep reading this forum. I do want to educate myself about what makes her happy.

THANK YOU!

-Gretsch
-Gretsch
...like fetch with a GR. :)

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I guess I'm looking for a number that I can't find... like '1 out of every 100,000 jumps per year in the US is fatal'. I would like to know the real number.



Skydiving has more risk than many other things, but many common activities, such as driving a car also have risk. I have always found this post from 2 years ago illuminating.

http://www.dropzone.com/cgi-bin/forum/gforum.cgi?post=1230637;search_string=exposure%20hours;#1230637

Based on fatality rate comparison, you can calculate that a person has the same chance of dieing in a single skydive as driving 676 miles in a car or 29.5 miles on a motorcycle.

Since most active skydivers will get several jumps in every time they get out jumping, you can tell that we encounter more risk than a typical driver will encounter. But skydiving risk is probably comparable to an active motorcycle enthusiast, depending on how active each is.

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You seem like a very educated, supportive, loving husband. Good luck to you.

BTW, my husband was a skydiver, and we were even married doing a skydive. We had two great boys together, but he was taken from me and my boys by a skydiving accident. He was very experienced, and death with accidents can happen to anyone.

Again, good luck.



Thank you for your kind words. I am so very sorry for your loss.
-Gretsch
...like fetch with a GR. :)

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I applaud your dedication and support for your wife...

With that being said I can share what I have learned having a non-skydiving spouse. My participation in skydiving initially made her a basket case. I attempted everything under the sun to ease her mind yet make sure she was aware of the risk involved. All of it pretty much to no avail.

In the end it really was not anything I said or did that started to make a difference. What did help the most is just what many have reccomended already. I took her to the DZ and I took her often. In the course of making some new friends she began to explore the sport on her own. She still to this day has no desire to jump. However, she does know a good deal about the sport for someone who doesn't jump.That knowledge was the best solution to her anxiety.


While she still recognizes that skydiving has an inherant amount of risk she has become familiar with the various pieces of equipment and procedures that skydivers use and perform to mitigate as much risk as possible.

So in this humble and low timers opinion...

You will do yourself the most good by going to the DZ with your wife. I can promise you at the very least you will meet some new and interesting people. You will come to find out skydivers are a very tight family and for the most part do our very best to look out for each other. You will learn a good deal about how the gear works and why it works by simply observing and listening in to the chat. You can learn even more by asking a few questions. Who knows you might even have some fun while doing it ;)


"Uh oh! This is gonna hurt!"

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I heard somewhere 1 in a 1000



Not even close. Roughly 3 million skydives a year in the US and roughly 30 fatalities so it actually is about 1 in 100,000.
"We've been looking for the enemy for some time now. We've finally found him. We're surrounded. That simplifies things." CP

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Think about this... You and your wife have a better chance of getting killed in a car accident than your wife has of getting killed skydiving.

My wife realized that on her own when she worried about my jumping, even after our little girl was born.

Heck, I'll take my chances skydiving more than I will riding a bicycle on the street.
"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban

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People can debate all they want about what the statistics really are, but when that 1 person in however many thousands is one that you know, none of that matters.

I jump, my husband doesn't. fwiw, my first jump was also only ever intended to be my only one, but the bug bit. I guess I'm "lucky" in the sense that my husband has about 50 military jumps under his belt, and did paragliding for 8 years (he stopped when too many of our friends ended up smashed against mountainsides; we both believe that paragliding is significantly more risky than skydiving, but I have no idea what the official relative stats are). So, my husband understands the risks in these type of sports, but he also understands the motivation that keeps you going in them. I broke a few bones early this year, and my husband was fully supportive of my decision to keep jumping after I healed. He knows how much the sport means to me.

All I can say to you in this sense is: you are one of those rare non-jumping partners who seems to fully support your spouse in what she wants to do. You'll probably never really stop worrying, but I agree with other posters that sitting in on a FJC may help - as will simply being around the DZ and watching load after load of people landing safely with big smiles. And the longer she does it, and the more it becomes "normal" for both of you, that fear will abate to some extent.

Kudos to you for not giving her ultimatums. I hope she knows how lucky she is.:)
Skydiving: wasting fossil fuels just for fun.

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Think about this... You and your wife have a better chance of getting killed in a car accident than your wife has of getting killed skydiving.

My wife realized that on her own when she worried about my jumping, even after our little girl was born.

Heck, I'll take my chances skydiving more than I will riding a bicycle on the street.




This is bullshit. I don't know why people think that skydiving is safer the driving. It just isn't true.

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Hello!

As I am not in a husband-wife style of situation, its more of a son-parent one (me being the skydiver son, my parents being concerned for my well-being).

I can tell you that they have a lot of the same concerns for me as you do for your wife. And like a lot of other people have said on the board, just hanging out and talking to people at the DZ helps a lot. Maybe even talk to a rigger about how the rig actually works? After showing my parents how the rig works, they had much more less worry about me.

But honestly, everyone can do a skydive! I bet you can overcome your fear of jumping from a plane! It's something that cannot be described or seen it videos. Skydiving is a "feeling" that must be experienced for oneself. To me, the feeling I get skydiving is well worth the risks, there's nothing else quite like it in this world...

Good luck to both of you!

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Think about this... You and your wife have a better chance of getting killed in a car accident than your wife has of getting killed skydiving.

My wife realized that on her own when she worried about my jumping, even after our little girl was born.

Heck, I'll take my chances skydiving more than I will riding a bicycle on the street.



This is bullshit. I don't know why people think that skydiving is safer the driving. It just isn't true.



The variables are much higher on the roads, and there are much more people driving cars than there are skydivers in the air with you. Plus you drive everyday if you have a job to go to. Exposure to risk is way higher.
"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban

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