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shadowon

Skydivers are fair weather friends

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So i don't know if anyone else here noticed but skydivers really don't make good friends. They only happen to be your friend as long as your jumping. You know i jumped somewhere almost every weekend for 3 years, did some 4 way teams, some tunnel time, some vacation with skydiver.......

I loose my job and need to take a break from jumping so that i can eat. I quickly find out that the second i stop jumping skydivers no longer give a shit.

I know this sounds like a pity party for me... In some way it is but in other ways i am also curious if others have run into this.

In fact i once walked 27 miles to get home because my "friends" where to busy jumping to give me a ride. Never mind that it was an emergency. (cabs didn't come to the DZ)

I've had skydivers (a friend) steal from me and pretend like they didn't even though i caught them.

Don't get me wrong I love this sport. I come from a military background and i really have a hard time understanding why everyone i know can be so shallow.

The really sad thing is that i have hear skydivers say oo that person doesn't jump a lot anymore they used to be cool so #$% them if they don't wanna jump.

So seriously why don't you take this weekend and maybe do something nice to a fellow jumper that does not involve skydiving. You would be surprised how one small act of kindness can really turn someone's day around. I want to believe that a lot of people who jump do this to get away from the reality of life. So maybe changing their reality might help.


Yes that means some of you who will post that you never would do that sort of thing. And no this is not my real profile.

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Agreed. I haven't left the sport for any reason other than taking six months off for injury and friends both locally and overseas were more than supportive, phone calls, emails, visits, the whole toot.

Advertisio Rodriguez / Sky

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So i don't know if anyone else here noticed but skydivers really don't make good friends. They only happen to be your friend as long as your jumping.



Jeez... when i broke my ankles after just 60 jumps, not enough time to really have made "real friends" with other jumpers, i discovered skydivers were among the best friends out there. Also know skydivers who definitely still socially see ex-jumpers! My exprience is limited, but I definitely hope yours is in the minority.
Skydiving: wasting fossil fuels just for fun.

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I would have to agree. I have found the skydiving community to be like a second family. All be it a dysfunctional family, but a family none the less.



Keyword: dysfunctional

We're all bozos but, damn, we have fun!
My reality and yours are quite different.
I think we're all Bozos on this bus.
Falcon5232, SCS8170, SCSA353, POPS9398, DS239

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I don't think skydivers are any different than any other social group. There are those in a group that will shun you for no longer participating in the group, and those that will wonder what has caused the change in your lack of participation, and still those that don't care whether you're participating or not, they care for you and want to include you in their lives.
If that's not your experience, then maybe you're not extending yourself out to them, either.

As far as theft, etc...it's happened to me as well. Small DZ, but have had several DVDs, a ProDytter, dozens of blank DVDs and CDs, and other things go missing. I've had to put a new lock on my locker to prevent it, but it's not made me paranoid or angry at people at the DZ; some people compulsively steal when given the opportunity. So, it's up to me to prevent the opportunity.

Can't disagree with the concept of doing something nice, even if it's just a "how are ya" call to someone who hasn't been very active recently.

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I would have to agree. I have found the skydiving community to be like a second family. All be it a dysfunctional family, but a family none the less.



Keyword: dysfunctional

We're all bozos but, damn, we have fun!



Yup...we put the 'fun' in dysfunctional!!
Mike
I love you, Shannon and Jim.
POPS 9708 , SCR 14706

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Have you ever considered that maybe they really didn't like you to begin with, but jumped with you anyway? That or you just got in with a bunch of assholes, you decide.

Real friends are friends regardless of sport. We still hang out with our former jumpers and non-jumpers regularly. But obviously less than we hang out with the people that you see every weekend you are out.

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I come from a military background



Here is the most distinguishing variable in your whole statement. There is a truly different aspect between military, military skydivers and skydivers. Each one has a core denominator associated with the value of "friendship." You (as did I) base our definition of friendship on our roots of military "Brotherhood."

Military Friendship - is when even if I didn't get along with that person, they damn sure wouldn't have had to walk 27 miles to attend an emergency - because someday my life would have depended on them in a whole 'nother set of circumstances.

Military Skydivers - same sense of brotherhood + the sharing of a common passsion for skydiving equals an even greater friendship based on both the military and skydiving and would have stopped skydiving in the spirit of the brotherhood/background to take you the 27 miles.

Skydiving - for those with a military background can be observed as a "special" friendship. It's the closest thing they have to our sense of "brotherhood," however there are factors of intruding on their plans and being inconvenienced if it interferes with their skydiving or social plans.
Now in all fairness, those of us with military background have an aura about our relationship that is offsetting to those who don't, so it's only fair that those without military backgrounds appear to snub us. I had an epiphany about this not long ago when it came to college brotherhoods. I went to a traditional four year college and grad school (after the military and being about 18 years older than the average student). I would observe that those who only had college had an intensity about their friendships as being on the same level of those with a military "friendship." And, I would observe that those friendships were considered equivelant to ours, but it wasn't... But, it's all they know, so they associate it as such.

There's a saying in skydiving, "There are no friends below 2000'" I'm sure that's one of many things that got me bounced from the AFF/I course. I called bullshit (not a good thing to tell a Course Director) and said, "So, what you're telling me is that their check is no good below two grand?" We took on the responsibility for a student's life and by God, I ain't giving up till we get wrapped up in an AAD fire or I'm going in fighting for their life.

Anyway, I ramble... Just know there is a difference, accept it for what it is and don't get all wrapped up about it. People in all walks of life place different levels on "friendship." Using your benchmark of military brotherhood as the baseline for all friendships that are really varying levels and types of friendships will change over the years.

Wait till (and if) you see how corporate America views the word "Friendship." That's a whole 'nother type. :S
Nobody has time to listen; because they're desperately chasing the need of being heard.

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I've said it before.. just because we skydive doesn't mean we're all friends. There are a lot of people who I like to see at the drop zone, but have no interest in seeing outside of the dz. And then there are people who I have enough in common with to want to develop a friendship beyond just the dz. If I quit jumping, I have a large handful of friends who wouldn't give a shit because we've established a relationship outside of skydiving.
From your post, it sounds like you're mistaking jump buddies for friends.

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Could it possibly be you're confusing "friends" (someone you know well) with "acquaintances" (someone you know slightly)? Your friends will stop what they're doing and take their time to help you (and vice versa). Acquaintances more than likely won't be willing to give up their time. Does that seem shallow and harsh? Maybe.

I'm sorry you had such a bad experience. Your feelings were hurt and that takes time to get over. Your choice is to either forgive and forget or move on to another dropzone and make new friends! Either way you'll be just fine, fine, fine! :)

"It is our choices that show what we truly are far more than our abilities." - A. Dumbledore

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One of my favorite songs, Tracy Lawrence tells it like it is!!!


Run your car off the side of the road

Get stuck in a ditch way out in the middle of nowhere

Or get yourself in a bind lose the shirt off your back

Need a floor, need a couch, need a bus fare

This is where the rubber meets the road

This is where the cream is gonna rise

This is what you really didn't know

This is where the truth don't lie

You find out who your friends are

Somebody's gonna drop everything

Run out and crank up their car

Hit the gas, get there fast

Never stop to think 'what's in it for me?' or 'it's way too far'

They just show on up with their big old heart

You find out who your friends are

Everybody wants to slap your back

wants to shake your hand

when you're up on top of that mountain

But let one of those rocks give way then you slide back down look up and see who's around then

This ain't where the road comes to an end

This ain't where the bandwagon stops

This is just one of those times when

A lot of folks jump off

When the water's high

When the weather's not so fair

When the well runs dry

Who's gonna be there?

You find out who your friends are

Run your car off the side of the road

Get stuck in a ditch way out in the middle of nowhere

(Well man, I've been there)

Or get yourself in a bind lose the shirt off your back

Need a floor, need a couch, need a bus fare

Man, I've been there

Oooh yeah.

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I know this sounds like a pity party for me... In some way it is but in other ways i am also curious if others have run into this.


They were probably never really your friends. You seem to whine a lot about nothing. Not many people like people who whine constantly.

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In fact i once walked 27 miles to get home because my "friends" where to busy jumping to give me a ride. Never mind that it was an emergency. (cabs didn't come to the DZ)


I find that incredibly hard to believe. How did you get to the dropzone to begin with? If you didn't drive yourself, maybe you'll think twice about that next time?

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It could be that you're one of those people that always needed something from everyone too. Can I bum some money ,can you give me a ride,got an extra beer? It gets old having people like that around. Since we don't know who you are don't take this personal.

I happen to think as others have said, you use the word friend too loosely.

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Fairweather friends? Stealing from you? Are you sure your not a DZO somewhere?;)
kidding guys.
If you want friends at the DZ to be friends outside the DZ, you have to cultivate a relationship away from the DZ.
You can't blame folks for not being buddy, buddy with you when you aren't jumping if your relationship was based on jumping together and partying at the DZ.


http://www.skydiveatlanta.com
http://www.musiccityskydiving.com

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Wow! Great reply to the OP. As prior service, and also having varied experience at different DZs... I can relate.
I think what also comes into play sometimes is the distance you might live from the other jumpers, or how far you travel to the DZ- seems like the jumpers closer to each other, live around or nearer each other tend to become better and closer friends...
But like it's been said, everybody's different, but not all jump "buddies" really are your friend.
Symantics? I don't know. But that's the way it is sometimes. Takes effort, extending yourself outside the DZ to make better & "real" friends...
Ya know?

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Lots of good points by everyone. Yea i was steamed last night and there is a lot more to this but it would like like a gig of data to explain my whole life. And yes for a time we where friends outside of the DZ. No worries i have chosen to find others to hand with and hopefully they aren't as fair weathered as the last.

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The people who have put the most out for me; really gone out of their way when I was barely (or not at all) skydiving, provided transportation at nasty hours, and the like, were the ones who are otherwise known as some of the least popular guys at the DZ. Probably the most abrasive out there.

Yeah, there are politics in skydiving. But if you take folks at face value, and treat them as you would like to be treated, and take care of yourself, then when you really, really need something, hopefully someone will help. But if not, well, it's good that you're also self-reliant.

Wendy W.
There is nothing more dangerous than breaking a basic safety rule and getting away with it. It removes fear of the consequences and builds false confidence. (tbrown)

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