When do you consider yourself a "skydiver"

[Broke 0]

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I'm with Bill Von. When your Nationals medals make a lot of racket clanging together, you have a few World Records, and you've swooped down in freefall to catch a puppy that has fallen from the plane - then you're a Skydiver.

Kevin

Wow a lot of us have a long way to go

Divot your source for all things Hillbilly.
Anvil Brother 84
SCR 14192

[danielcroft 2]

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I would have said right after graduating AFF. The last dive you have an instructor go with you and just watch. Or even intentionally throw your ass to make you unstable and you have to come out of it on your own. There's nothing more exciting, and scarier then being cleared to self supervise. That's definitely when I felt like a real skydiver. When the burden of responsibility shifted 100% onto my shoulders.

At my DZ, I still needed to be manifested by a coach and I still needed someone to say it was ok to jump. I still had a 14mph wind limit. Not saying you're wrong, just making the point that it's not 100% you.

You're a skydiver when you get a puppy drunk, throw it out of a plane & then claim you're tying to save it to look cool.

[Krstnparker 0]

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I'm with Bill Von. When your Nationals medals make a lot of racket clanging together, you have a few World Records, and you've swooped down in freefall to catch a puppy that has fallen from the plane - then you're a Skydiver.

Kevin

Wow a lot of us have a long way to go

I agree. I guess what they say is true - it's get lonley at that top.

~I knew exactly where it was, I just couldn't find it.~
http://www.flickr.com/photos/krstnparker/

[PeregrineFalcon 0]

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man, i was like: "fuck, if that 'chute doesnt open now, i'm gonna hit right into the restaurant!" on my first solo..

At least you were spotting well.

[airtwardo 6]

http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Skydiving


Skydiving involves jumping out of an airplane, parachuting to the ground, and not breaking your femur when you land.

Participants include men with big penises, and women who enjoy being the center of attention, surrounded by men with big penises.




~Equipment~
Assuming they want to survive the landing and jump again, every skydiver must use a parachute.
Most usually jump out of an aeroplane usually either in flight (as opposed to just sitting on the ground) or an aircraft that very very recently WAS in flight, before it started to plummet from the sky in smoke and flames.
Its a good idea to jump from a sufficient enough altitude to allow the parachute to inflate and slow the terrifying headlong fall to certain death).
Some skydivers also jump tall buildings, high bridges, large cliffs, small dogs, naked people, clothed people -- heck, skydivers will jump anything, lets face it.
They are horny, oversexed hedonists who can't be trusted with anything that has holes in it.

Common sense would dictate that a larger parachute would be safer, and this is, in fact, the case.
Larger parachutes are slower and more docile, greatly reducing the risk of injury.

But, since skydivers are generally not admired for their common sense, most skydivers choose to jump very very small parachutes, often called "canopies," that are very fast, highly manoeuvrable, and very likely going to hurt someone in a spectacular life-threatening impact that will probably be videoed and posted on YouTube within days.

It's a fact in skydiving that the smaller your parachute, the larger your penis.
So ladies, next time you see a guy land a parachute the size of a beach towel, you know he's packing.

Modern parachutes, made of synthetic nylon and a host of high-tech materials are much more reliable than the old 'round' silk parachtes of yesteryear.
In fact, they are much too reliable for the serious skydiver seeking to risk life and limb in an adrenaline enhancing plunge to earth, so many continue to experiment with new designs that can increase the sense of sudden fright and unexpected terror once so common in the sport.
Two such parachutes are worn, a main parachute designed to be as difficult to pack up as possible and to open inconsistently, giving the modern jumper the same feeling of dread and uncertainty as in the old days, and the reserve parachute, designed to support professional parachute packers, know as 'riggers' - as in "this raw deal must be rigged somehow" - who claim with a straight face that the reserve chute must be repacked, used or not, every 120 days for a handsome fee.

The safest parachutes are made by Strong Enterprises, they are perfectly safe and well designed by Ted Strong.
A strong parachute is well made, designed to last and will never be subject to a safety recall ever.
A skydiver is much less likely to die from gear design flaws and deterioration if they use a parachute made by Strong.

Unsafe gear is made by Sun Path with their generally considered "death trap" Javelin Odyssey.
Micron, Wings, Icon, Velocity and Mirage parachutes are also considered to be unsafe and much more likely to kill the jumper without swooping.

Most beginning skydivers carry an altimeter, or height gauge, which tells them how far above the hard, unforgiving ground they are.
It is usually mounted on the wrist. Most experienced skydivers however, 'eyeball' it, because they are too cool to be wearing what looks like a goofy wrist watch.

Helmets are also commonly worn, much to the bafflement of onlookers wondering what good they will do, not realizing how important the helmets are in keeping the head sweaty and the hair matted firmly to the skull, giving skydivers that coveted "helmet head" hairdo.

A special, custom fitted jumpsuit helps keep the otherwise flailing body in control while in free-fall.
Most skydivers wear brightly coloured jumpsuits, so they can be easily seen and can show off how bad ass they are, unless they are skydiving naked a not uncommon practice (see above).
Despite the bright colours of their jumpsuits, skydivers should not be confused with the Houston Astros of the 1970s

Some skydivers also mortgage their homes to purchase an expensive, electronic "automatic activation device" costing thousands of dollars and designed to support the companies that manufacture them by bilking customers out of hundreds of dollars every few years to replace the expensive batteries, inspect the units and declare them out of date every 12 years, forcing the customers to purchase brand new units that will accidentally deploy the reserve parachute into the perfectly good main parachute, causing them to entangle and collapse, giving the skydiver that wonderful old sense of sudden fright and unexpected terror as they plummet to their death.

~ Aircraft ~
Skydiving generally takes place from an aircraft missing a large, secure door that is flying up in the sky, or one that is quickly disintegrating as it hurtles to the ground in a burning, twisting hulk of sheared metal and smoking debris.
Some of the more common skydiving planes are old, beat-up Cesna 182s, long-neglected and poorly maintained Twin Otters, perfectly good King Airs that fly contraband below radar when they aren't hauling jumpers, and ancient Beech 18s that nobody else will dare fly.

Planes must be certified for recreational parachuting.
This involves thouroughly trashing the interior, installing a kick-ass stero system and speakers, chipping away most of the paint, removing all the seats if there are any, and bolting seatbelts to the bare floor which the FAA mandates must be worn so as to give skydivers a false sense of security should the pilot elect to crash the aircraft on takeoff.

In general, to be certified for parachuting, the planes are made as uncomfortable to sit in as possible, and as slow to climb without raising suspecion so that skydivers will be encouraged to jump out of the airplane rather than endure riding in it a minute longer.

~ Disciplines ~
Skydiving is a great sport with many disciplines and skills to master.
In reality, they are all just variations of what we call 'falling'. Falling right side up is counted as a completely separate discipline than falling upside down.
Many skydivers like to pretend they are sitting in an invisible chair while falling, and have very active imaginations!
The most popular disciplines include formation skydiving (also known as relative work), Canopy Formation (also known as Canopy Relative Work, or CReW), and Freeflying (but actually costing just as much as regular skydiving)

Formation Skydiving Formation Skydiving is the carefully planned art of falling out of an aeroplane while holding onto someone else.
While this might seem an obvious and intuitive thing to do, given the terrifying nature of the activity, in practice its is quite hard to accomplish.
Skydivers carefully rehearse the dive on the ground before attempting it in the air, in a pre-jump ritual known as dirt diving -- no kidding.
Intricate, beautiful patterns, or formations, are meticulously choreographed and practiced, with each jumper given a slot, an assigned grip point and designated orientation in mid-air.

Each completed formation is called a 'point.' Once in the plane and over the jump spot, the skydivers huddle together in the open door, fighting the blistering wind, clutching onto each other for dear life as they tumble out the aircraft in a spinning, rolling mass of humanity before being quickly flung apart, bodies flying uncontrollably in every direction. Most usually regain consciousness in time to deploy their parachutes before cratering into the ground.

Canopy Formation Skydivers too scared to experience the horrors of free-fall often deploy their parachutes just as soon as they can after leaving the aircraft, and instead substitute the insanity of flying their parachutes into each other.

If the hapless jumper manages to grab hold of some part of the other jumper's equipment, body or whatever, and if the canopies do not wrap themselves up into a tangled, spinning pin-wheel, nor rip themselves into shreds of worthless fabric, and if the suspension lines do not cut the jumpers in half or strip their skin clean to the bones, as they so often want to do, and if the canopies somehow miraculously stay inflated and flying in more or less the same direction, the resulting collision is called a canopy formation.

Freeflying Skydivers unable to fall stable relative to the earth, instead cartwheeling about, head down, feet first, on their backs, careening about the sky, narrowly missing other unstable jumpers, and often reaching blazing speeds of several hundreds of miles per hour as they scream (sometimes literally) straight down out of the cold sky are engaging in the discipline of "Freeflying"

Other Disciplines There are many other aspects and areas of specialization in the sport, including Accuracy, where jumpers compete to see how far they miss landing on a target, Swooping where jumpers perform low; sharp turns close to the ground and compete to see how long a trench they can dig with their toes as they plough into the earth tumbling, rolling or splatting upon impact, Skysurfing, where especially narcissistic jumpers who imagine themselves to be comic book super heroes convince gullible friends to jump with them and take their picture as they spin wildly out of control with their legs tightly locked in place to a rigid board, and Drinking easily the most common and popular activity, where jumpers replenish their courage and fortitude for the next day's bold assault on the heavens.

~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~

[Sletzer 3]

It wasn't like that where I learned. We manifested ourselves and were only limited by who else we could jump with. Having the ability to pick up & put on gear, walk up to manifest, get on the plane , and jump out of it without anyone having to ok what you are doing the first time is a weird feeling. And that's really what i was referring to.

There were wind constraints, but there still are. I've seen DZO's ground everyone due to wind. That one's not going to go away.

I can see your angle though. Just saying that's when I felt like a skydiver. No one there with the exclusive job of watching over you anymore.

I will be kissing hands and shaking babies all afternoon. Thanks for all your support! *bows*

SCS #8251

[danielcroft 2]

Airtwardo - that was fucking awesome!

Yeah, all DZs seem to have different approaches, I see where you're coming from. We still get grounded when the planes don't fly. You know, into lightening storms and such... pansies. There's no hard limit for us license holders though, just how stupid we are and how "experienced" we want to become in a short space of time.

[AllisonH 0]

I consider others skydivers when I know they'll be back to jump again on a regular basis. So different times for different people.

I considered myself a skydiver when I got to the point (between 100-150 jumps) when I was comfortable enough with my abilities that I wasn't afraid to walk up to organizers and ask to jump with them.

[JohnDeere 0]

Forgot that people performing RW are almost as scared as Crew people! Crew may deploy just outside the plane but Rw stay in the deploment position the whole time cuase they are so scared.

Nothing opens like a Deere!

You ignorant fool! Checks are for workers!

[Andy9o8 0]

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I considered myself a skydiver when I got to the point (between 100-150 jumps) when I was comfortable enough with my abilities that I wasn't afraid to walk up to organizers and ask to jump with them.

I considered myself a skydiver once I skydove.

[Squeak 17]

the only people who seem to care are those with less than a few hundred jumps, and Billvon

You are not now, nor will you ever be, good enough to not die in this sport (Sparky)
My Life ROCKS!
How's yours doing?

[npgraphicdesign 2]

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http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Skydiving


Skydiving involves jumping out of an airplane, parachuting to the ground, and not breaking your femur when you land.

Participants include men with big penises, and women who enjoy being the center of attention, surrounded by men with big penises.

Wow I guess I learn something new about myself every day...

[skybill 18]

Hi mitsu,
You know you're a Skydiver when:
You order checks with a skydiving background,
You have Skydiving related bumperstickers all over the back of your vehicle,
Your wife's sewingmachine is stocked with "E" thread,
Over 80% of your clothes are Skydiving T-shirts!,
You put the audio from a skydive on your home phone answer machine,
Your whuffo friends and co-workers don't believe you when you show up with a "NON-skydiving related injury!!"
You sold your golf clubs to help finance your new rig!!
When you look down from the Otter at the local Golf course and think,"Wow, look at those guys wasting a perfectly good Sunday afternoon!!!!"
There's a sign on the door to the spare bedroom that says,"Para-loft."
All your pets have Skydiving related names.
...gotta go for now but you know there's more!!!

SCR-2034, SCS-680

III%,
Deli-out

[airtwardo 6]

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Hi mitsu,
You know you're a Skydiver when:
You order checks with a skydiving background,
You have Skydiving related bumperstickers all over the back of your vehicle,
Your wife's sewingmachine is stocked with "E" thread,
Over 80% of your clothes are Skydiving T-shirts!,
You put the audio from a skydive on your home phone answer machine,
Your whuffo friends and co-workers don't believe you when you show up with a "NON-skydiving related injury!!"
You sold your golf clubs to help finance your new rig!!
When you look down from the Otter at the local Golf course and think,"Wow, look at those guys wasting a perfectly good Sunday afternoon!!!!"
There's a sign on the door to the spare bedroom that says,"Para-loft."
All your pets have Skydiving related names.
...gotta go for now but you know there's more!!!

Somebody takes CHECKS from a skydiver?!

~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~

[skybill 18]

Hi Jim,
They're called "Whuffo's!!" Sensible Skydivers wouldn't!!

SCR-2034, SCS-680

III%,
Deli-out

[skybill 18]

Hi Mitsu,
You know you're a Skydiver when (continued),
Your filthy rich aunt disowns you from her will to try to get you to quit your evil wicked Skydiving ways!!,
Your whuffo wife leaves you for a whuffo,(male, female or transgender for that matter)
For the 57th time a whuffo finds out that you "Skydive" and immediately goes into a diatribe about how they'd rather Scuba dive because it's "Safer!"
You put up a wind sock above the garage door and carve a skull and cross bones in the front yard with the lawn mower thus declaring your property a "Dropzone!!"
You get an old disposed of round canopy and tack it to the ceiling in your den.
The girl you're dating gets pissed off because you want to go to the DZ for the "Early Bird Load" instead of taking her to the champagne brunch!!

SCR-2034, SCS-680

III%,
Deli-out

[gavi_omen 0]

I've been jumping since last July, and have 160 jumps, but I don't feel like a skydiver. I feel like skydiving is an activity, it's something I do, but I still don't feel like I am part of it to the point that I can call myself a "skydiver".

There's no such thing as free will; everything is dictated by the Uncertainty Principle.

[mr_music11 0]

If YOU consider yourself a skydiver ( assuming you are "active" in the sport ) then who are "we" (anybody else) to try and contradict you just becuase of what ones personal "meaning" of what a skydiver is. If you jump out of planes as often as you can/afford... well.. you do the math

If flying is piloting a plane.. then swimming is driving a boat. I know why birds sing.. I skydive.

[klingeme 0]

I voted "After getting your A license" but really think it is after your first solo (no radio, no assistance).

That's when I really felt like one (If memory serves me right).

Mark Klingelhoefer

[tbrown 26]

My instructor congratulated me over a beer after my first freefall, telling me "You're a real skideever now". It was a hop & pop on my sixth jump and my first packjob as well (on a 28 ft. cheapo round). It sure made me FEEL like a real skideever...

I suppose I think you're a real skydiver when you can start jumping with your friends as you choose, which nowadays means having your A license at most dropzones. It also means you've at least nominally had to pack one canopy that opened, though a lot of jumpers will never pack a canopy again as far as I can tell....

Your humble servant.....Professor Gravity !

[ifell 0]

I think you can consider yourself a skydiver when you are 100% present during the whole process (ride up, exit, freefall and of course landing). I became a skydiver on my 4th jump of AFF.

[airathanas 0]

Airtwardo - you're freakin' hilarious!!!

I guess the real question is not when do you consider yourself a skydiver-

the real question is when do you consider yourself an experienced skydiver?

http://3ringnecklace.com/

[Ion01 1]

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I say you're considered a skydiver when you do your first solo exit, freefall, and canopy flight.

Thats how I feel. I didn't consider myself a skydiver until I reached this point. Of course becoming liscenced is the ultimate goal but doing it all on your own and saving your life is a all it really comes down to.

[npgraphicdesign 2]

I guess I'm a skydiver then, because I did pretty damn good on my D2 jump: first good solo exit, solid 180/360 turns, good pull, and decent landing. Of course, spinning like a frickin' dreidel and not getting stable on my E1 a few hours later didn't look too good...

[rehmwa 2]

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I think you can consider yourself a skydiver when you are 100% present during the whole process (ride up, exit, freefall and of course landing). I became a skydiver on my 4th jump of AFF.

that's a good one - I still know people with 100's of jumps that overload on exit

...
Driving is a one dimensional activity - a monkey can do it - being proud of your driving abilities is like being proud of being able to put on pants