THE ADVENTURES OF SKYFLY [ LONG]

[africapete 0]

I wrote this about 15 years ago when I was CI at Bloemfontein Skydiving Center in South Africa and recently found a copy while going through some old documents - maybe somebody will enjoy it !

THE SKYFLY SAGA

Skydiving flies seen at Bloemfontein Skydiving Center - believe it, or not !

It is a well-known fact that fleas can be trained to perform circus tricks with miniature equipment, but would you believe that flies can skydive ? Well, neither did I until recently ...

There I was in the clubhouse last Saturday waiting for my load . A few of the younger jumpers were watching the training video "Skydive 101 " , and as I glanced at the TV I noticed, quite by chance, four flies sitting on the screen. At first I thought nothing of it, but after a while I noticed the flies were still in the same position. The crazy idea entered my head that they might in fact be watching the video, but that thought seemed too far out for even a skydiver to imagine. At that stage my load was ready and I left the clubhouse.

When I returned later the video was over and the flies were gone. I sat down to browse through the new Safety Regulations and suddenly something caught my eye - four flies sitting on the side of the broom closet in the kitchen area. It appeared to be the same group mentioned earlier as one fly was slightly larger than the rest. Can you imagine my surprise when all four of them suddenly touched front feet to form a star, then a donut , a cat and some sidebodies ? It slowly dawned on me that these guys were doing walkies , in other words, they were planning a SKYDIVE !

I watched in amazement as these four mothers walked back to the top of the closet , and the next second they launched a perfect fly 4-way from the top and they started turning the formations practised earlier, almost faster than the eye could see and without flapping their wings. Just before hitting the floor they seperated, tracked and started flapping their wings to return to the top of the closet. I could not believe my good fortune in observing this amazing feat and immediately decided to get to the bottom of the story.

I strolled over to the closet trying to act as nonchalant as possible, and motioned to the bigger fly to follow me outside , on which he did a perfect stand-up landing on my left shoulder. I walked over to my car in the parking lot for some privacy , and once we were inside the car I introduced myself and commented on what I had witnessed. The little guy introduced himself as SkyFly, and I listened in awe as his life story unfolded. This is more or less how the conversation went :

Me : Where on earh did you learn to skydive ?

SkyFly : I was born on a farm near Rustenburg. Farm life was pretty boring, and after hearing tales about food orgies at the nearby Sun City Gambling resort I decided to hop on a local minivan and to go check out the place. On the way there I was unfortunately blown out of the van when I became drowsy, lost my grip on the side window and the slipstream zapped me .

To cut a long story short - I was stranded in a place called Pilansberg without food or shelter. Fortunately I noticed a farmhouse in the distance , and when I arrived there I discovered that the place was actually a skydiving club. My grandfather once lived in the same house as a well-known skydiver by the name of Peter Lawson and I often listened to the tales he had to tell. I have always been a bit of a daredevil and immediately decided to learn more about skydiving.

Me : Did you receive any formal training ?
SkyFly : No, I mostly learned by watching students being trained and then practising in the quiet of the kitchen. The arch position as taught to humans work perfectly for us as well. At first it was extremely difficult to let go of the ceiling, arch and freefall without using my wings, but I eventually overcame my fear of NOT flying. At one stage I had some stability problems and went inverted time and time again , but this problem was cured when I saw one of the instructors teaching one of the showgirls from Sun City the gentle art of falling stable on your back. Witnessing this one-on-one instruction cured my stability problem, and I then proceeded to master all the other basic free- fall skills. To learn to track was easy - I simply had to turn 180 degrees and fly away.

Me : How did you advance further ?
SkyFly : At first it was pretty difficult as I had to convince the local houseflies and barflies that flydiving was indeed a safe sport. Some of the older flies were convinced that I was a maniac bent on self-destruction who only wanted to kill their sons and seduce their daughters. Fortunately, through good instruction, PR work and frequent demo's at local fly-ins and charity events I was able to change the daredevil perception. We soon established a four way team and started practising for the National Flydiving Championships. Due to unforseen circumstances however I ended up here at your clubhouse.

Me : How did that happen ?
SkyFly : Well, one of your jumpers attended an instructors course at Pilansberg . I flew past his car on the way to the clubhouse when I noticed this cute little flylady wearing a short black number sitting on the steering wheel . Being a gentlefly by nature I introduced myself and soon was involved in jumpstories of a different kind. When I came to my senses your jumper was on his way back home and I had no choice but to follow my new lady to her home turf. It followed quite naturally that I introduced the locals to flydiving, which is how you came to notice us.

That, then, is brieFLY the amazing story of SkyFly. I was touched by his commitment to the sport, and would like to request the following :
Show some respect to the flies at your DZ - they might be actively involved in flydiving, and believe me, it means as much to them as skydiving to us ;

Give clubflies the opportunity to learn. Don't chase them away if they sit on your shoulder while you are packing or dirt-diving . Rumour has it that riggerflies at PD and other companies are developing mini-systems to enable flydiving to progress to CRW and swooping.

Be careful what you say in front of DZ flies, especially barflies - you know how fast rumours can spread , and have you ever considered that flies may contribute to this ? Believe me, SkyFly has a few red-hot stories to tell about local skygods !

In conclusion - we all share the same sky and love the thrill of free-fall. As SkyFly puts it - minimise the risk of skydiving by good training and thorough preparation and you will grow old in the best sport in the world.

Blue Skies, Peter .

[gearless_chris 1]

Awesome.

"If it wasn't easy stupid people couldn't do it", Duane.

My momma said I could be anything I wanted when I grew up, so I became an a$$hole.

[cjsgrlsx3 0]

I was just s few days ago I read a post about skipping over long posts. I am glad I didn't skip this one! I enjoyed it!

[gearless_chris 1]

I got distracted by something else so they last 2 paragraphs took some mental effort to finish, it wasn't anything to do with the story, the story's great.

"If it wasn't easy stupid people couldn't do it", Duane.

My momma said I could be anything I wanted when I grew up, so I became an a$$hole.