gravitywhore 0 #1 September 9, 2007 I started jumping about 6 years ago , did 6 jumps then life got in the way ... 2 kids and wife , it was my decision to take the time off .. I took 5 years off and just came back last summer . I only did a few jumps last summer and a couple through the winter . I now have 22 jumps (static line progression) and am working towards my CSPA solo .. My wife has in the past been very supportive .. but recently she has been telling me that she wished I never took up skydiving and that she knows she can't ask me to quit because I will be miserable .. Her argument is that it is expensive and it takes me away from the house on weekends and some weekdays and that it is dangerous . I have been trying to keep a balance with the amount of money/time I spend at the DZ but it seems it isn't enough .... what I'm thinking is that if she is getting upset now .. I can't imagine what she's going to say when I tell her I'm buying my own rig and going to this Boogie and that tunnel any advice that would help would be great ... other than the obvious SIDS comments she is also worried that I am going to run off with a skydiving chicky .... oh we have been together for almost 10 years too and have a 7 year old and a 15 year old please some help from anyone who has been through something similar Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
stratostar 5 #2 September 9, 2007 You could always try to make it a family affair, teach the 15 year old to pack and find her something to do as well to be involved,you can't pay for kids schoolin' with love of skydiving! ~ Airtwardo Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CSpenceFLY 1 #3 September 9, 2007 Only you can figure out if you will be able to strike a balance between skydiving and family life. From what you have said I think you have a hard road ahead. With all of the time I have spent in the sport and all of the things I have done, if I had any less of a wife I would have been divorced a long time ago. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
gravitywhore 0 #4 September 9, 2007 QuoteYou could always try to make it a family affair, teach the 15 year old to pack and find her something to do as well to be involved, the 15 year old has been in the tunnel with me and is learning how to pack which is also making the wife uncomfortable, she worries our daughter is going to follow in my footsteps .. which she probably will she has been asking about doing a tandem .... but in Ontario she is still too young . I just want everything to work out I love my family and I also love skydiving and my DZ family Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
stratostar 5 #5 September 9, 2007 I married a jumper, so it is easy to do dz time.you can't pay for kids schoolin' with love of skydiving! ~ Airtwardo Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
gravitywhore 0 #6 September 9, 2007 Quote I married a jumper, so it is easy to do dz time. yah rub that in Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
airtwardo 6 #7 September 9, 2007 Quote Only you can figure out if you will be able to strike a balance between skydiving and family life. From what you have said I think you have a hard road ahead. With all of the time I have spent in the sport and all of the things I have done, if I had any less of a wife I would have been divorced a long time ago. Took the words right outta my mouth! It's definitely a balancing act...you may want to try to involve the family, 'lets all go to the DZ for a few hours on Saturday' kind of thing. Pack a lunch, give the kids a couple of cameras, pay attention to the wife.My wife has made only one tandem jump 10 plus years ago, but loves the atmosphere at any DZ...a bunch of interesting people, doing something they love! I too have a family and sometimes overwhelming 'responsibilities'...my days of spending a full week at a boogie are long past, but I go when and where I can and keep my priorities straight. ~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
gravitywhore 0 #8 September 9, 2007 thank you ... you are just the type of person I was wanting to hear from ..... and I'm glad to see that it is possible to balance both family and skydiving at least for you .. I appreciate your comments everyone and welcome more .. thanx again Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skinnyshrek 0 #9 September 9, 2007 QuoteI married a jumper, so it is easy to do dz time. Me too. Great minds think alike huh.http://www.skydivethefarm.com do you realize that when you critisize people you dont know over the internet, you become part of a growing society of twats? ARE YOU ONE OF THEM? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sdctlc 0 #10 September 9, 2007 QuoteI married a jumper, so it is easy to do dz time. I maried a jumper then a number of years, House and child later spending time at the DZ is tougher and tougher. I have to walk the line.. Since our kid came along my wife put skydiving aside, her choice not mine, and being a jumper at a DZ not jumping is no fun... I dont blame your worries as it is tough but it can be done. I am fortunante that my wife is a former jumper and I hope she comes back at some point but I now fall into the balance the boat situation. When we got married and for a few years after it was the DZ for every weekend, now with the other stuff added in it is me at the DZ a chunk of the time bt no where near the time I previously did... Good luck Scott C."He who Hesitates Shall Inherit the Earth!" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Squeak 17 #11 September 9, 2007 if you allow it to interfer with you family life and family finances, your priorites are out of whackYou are not now, nor will you ever be, good enough to not die in this sport (Sparky) My Life ROCKS! How's yours doing? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Orange1 0 #12 September 9, 2007 yeah, it's all about balance. i can't spend all weekend every weekend at the DZ and that means i don't get as many jumps in as i might otherwise, but it also means i get to keep my family intact. our basic 'deal' is one day a weekend jumping, one day family. (if we have bad weather for a few consecutive weeks then i occasionally will do both days at the DZ.) bringing the family to the DZ may work for some people, but some DZs just have less attraction for a spouse and child to hang out all day, especially if there are a bunch of other fun options for them in town.Skydiving: wasting fossil fuels just for fun. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
rygon 0 #13 September 9, 2007 maybe its also because you have a new hobby and feels that she has been left out (you doing something exciting whilst she is at home bored). Does she have any hobbies she can do on her own/with kids, whilst you skydive??. Then maybe have a go at each others hobby once a month Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jellob 0 #14 September 9, 2007 I'd have to agree more with Rygon on this one. I was given similar advice when I posted about having an unsupportive husband! He will never come to the DZ, never watch my dvds, and freaked out the other day some new gear arrived at the door. So integrating him into my new hobby is not going to happen, at least not easily or anytime soon. What seems to be working, though, is that he is becoming more and more interested in his own new hobby (and I am showing outrageous support of that) and as the winter begins to approach we will begin skiing / snowboarding together. Maybe you could support her interests somehow as she would be more likely to then support yours. Good luck! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
laughn_gas 0 #15 September 9, 2007 I'm new to skydiving. I'd love to live at the DZ and jump every day, if I could. But I have a career, Wife and 3 kids. My boys have separate activities that I WANT to attend (Boyscouts, Baseball, Karate). I try to balance everything out as well as I can. For now it seems to be working OK, but would like to get more air time than I've been getting. My wife supports me 100%. Not to sure if thats a good thing......Everytime I pull, I'm expecting my dirty laundry to come pouring out. She always has supported everything I've ever done. (WHAT I AM ABOUT TO SAY IS NOT ADVICE!!!!) If she did not support me or was worried about my well being to the extent that it affected our relationship I would have given it up. I would have done my one tandem and walked away. FOR ME,.... family is more important..... I think that there is a ton of information out there, that you could try to educate her with.... And maybe she'll come around. Maybe all she needs is just some time to get used to the whole idea of YOU skydiving. Take the kids out there and maybe they can help her come around..... Good luck!!!!! I know that your not the only one that has gone through this See ya in a minute. Peace out! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bigbearfng 9 #16 September 9, 2007 Hmmmm, I have to reply, but take my response with a grain of salt...since my divorce will be final soon. A lot of newbs get carried away with the sport, but would be part of the group that quits anyway. But if it turns out to be your "therapy" in life, then you have to be true to yourself-yes keep a balance as others have said; but when it comes right down to it, if things are falling apart, then there are probably lot bigger issues at work. Good luck, and don't make any moves without a lot of soul searching. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
peckerhead 0 #17 September 9, 2007 I can't beleive the "search police" have not chimed in yet..... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Zipp0 1 #18 September 10, 2007 Quote Ibut recently she has been telling me that she wished I never took up skydiving and that she knows she can't ask me to quit because I will be miserable . "Honey, I would be miserable. You know me so well. Thank you for your love and understanding. That's why I married you!" -------------------------- Chuck Norris doesn't do push-ups, he pushes the Earth down. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sonomatommy 0 #19 September 10, 2007 this is what works for me, although my kids are only 3 and 6 mo. my istructor/friend happens to have a 3 year old girl as I do, they are known as the DZ rat pack. my wife and kids come up evry weekend we pack a lunch let the 3 year olds run around and entertain the tandems waiting to jump with their antics while I do my thing, you just cant ignore your family to skydive, make them part of the family you gain at the DZ. By the way my 3 yo, does an outstanding hard arch all the instructors love it Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
gravitywhore 0 #20 September 10, 2007 I'm happy to hear that is working for you ... I have had my 7 year old up there and it never ends well . there are a group of boys a bit older than him around 10 and 11 that are always up there and do not want to play with my son because he is younger and this creates tension and my wife is left as the referee ...So we decided he will not be coming back up until he is older or the crowd changes as it always does and the other boys are not an issue ... my 15 year old loves being at the DZ and is eager to learn and hang out . I am sure everything will work out eventually , I love my wife and family and I also love the sky .. it will just take a lot of understanding and compromise .... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jtval 0 #21 September 10, 2007 What I'm curious to know is how, if you've been together for 10 years, do you have a 15 year old? From a previous relationship? It sounded as if you had two kids with her, that's why I ask. strike a balance. be happy to have both in your life dont take your fam for granted. it'll be twice as hard to jump etc if youre paying child support and looking for a new place to live.My photos My Videos Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
popsjumper 2 #22 September 11, 2007 Quote What I'm curious to know is... MAJOR social faux pas. My reality and yours are quite different. I think we're all Bozos on this bus. Falcon5232, SCS8170, SCSA353, POPS9398, DS239 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
gravitywhore 0 #23 September 11, 2007 the 15 year old is her Daughter from a previous relationship ... the 7 year old is ours together ...... you make a good point in your last comment though ... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
firstime 0 #24 September 11, 2007 great post... I didnt get involved in skydiving until after I got divorced, but I am sure it can take a toll on your relationship. I would give everything & anything to have my my ex back so be careful if that person is important to you Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jtval 0 #25 September 11, 2007 Quote Quote What I'm curious to know is... MAJOR social faux pas. True, but I wasnt sure if he typo'd or if there was a previous child. Gravitywhore, Hopefully, you'll be able to keep both sides happy.My photos My Videos Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
