Doing tandems vs. NO skydives

[Tolgak 0]

I don't think anyone here is even implying quitting college to go skydive. She said herself that she would never do such a thing.

The issue here is her figurative leaving of the "nest." Independence is a valuable trait to have and maintain and it's not something that just comes out of nowhere. For many of us, it takes a few acts of rebellion to various degrees which sometimes (as in my case) happen a little too late in life.

The loss of college funding is a huge deal and it's a large risk to take. I think a parent's outlook on the situation can change, as evidenced by my case. My parents often threatened to stop co-signing my loans for activities that they are now proud of me for being involved in. Considering I go to a private school, there's no amount of work I could do to pay off school without those loans, even with scholarships.

My parents learned to recognize that some of the activities they opposed have brought me more happiness than I would have otherwise. I think with the proper approach to the situation, skydiving can be enjoyed without risk to college funding or anything else. It may take baby steps of rebellion but it can be done eventually.

Take your time, work with your parents, and do some things you like that they disapprove of. I'm not saying to go completely anti-authority on them. I'm saying that you should ween them off their power over you. They should be encouraging you to live for yourself. Sometimes it requires taking control away from them for that realization to come.

And trust me, unless you've been a complete pain in the ass to them all your life, they wont find it as easy to cut your money as they say it would be. If they see success in your future, you don't have much to worry about.

Dropzones are terrible places for inspiration. What does one think when one looks up for a sign only to see a bunch of people falling?

[MarkM 0]

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In my job, I can't do drugs (random testing) or speak for my company. Is that control also?

Those are things that would negatively impact your company. But your boss can't tell you who to date just because he signs the check that pays your mortgage. It's none of his business.

And I'm guessing if your boss came to you and said, "Wendy, I don't like that you skydive, I think it's too dangerous, and I'd rather you just do tandems instead because I think they're safer. And you know, it's my name on the bottom of the check, so...." I doubt you'd tolerate it.

I'm not saying she should lie to her mom, I'm saying she should probably get herself out that situation. Her mother really has no business dictating this aspect of her life. It's one thing if it was a money issue "I don't want you to spend all this money on skydiving when I'm paying for school", but she doesn't have a problem with her spending money on the tunnel or wasting it on tandems.

[Andy9o8 0]

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Her mother really has no business dictating this aspect of her life.

Of course she does. You take the King's shilling, you do the King's bidding.

[Chubba 0]

Screw it.

Do AFF, don't tell your mum, simple.

Live your life how you want.

[jimmytavino 16]

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Screw it.

Do AFF, don't tell your mum, simple.

Live your life how you want.

.... sorry guys...Chubba and MarkM... I Must disagree.....

shall i guess???? that neither of you are parents of children???
Fact is.. a Mom and /or a dad ARE entitled, in fact might be considered to be 'responsible' for their children...

If the OP is approaching adulthood, there will be time, soon enough, for "Doing what you want"...
but If the OP is still residing at the family home, If the OP is having tuition fronted and /or subsidized by the parent(s), If the OP has bills,, ( car, Insurance, health care, clothes, utitlites CABLE,,, Computer hook up,,, etc etc ) paid for, by the parents, then the responsible thing is to adhere to ANy stipulations which the parent may set..
those who encourage you to "do what YOu want' are incorrect...IMHO...
i've been at both sides of this deal,,,and know whereof i speak...

never should should one risk the "wrath of the Mother", by being defiant,,,
especially just because "some skydivers recommended it"...haahha
SEE???? the mother here knows what she's talking about..
i'd be damn pleased that the Mom is so concerned for her child, that she wants to simply protect that child long enough to accomplish the MORE important goal ,, of the college education..The allowance of a tandem skydive here and there, shows a willingness to compromise a little,, on the moms Part..
and so to defy that,, on the Daughters' part... would be unkind and unfair.
imho
jmy
A 3914
D 12122
4 stack 930

[wolfriverjoe 1,340]

Guys - check the profile. She's a girl (daughter) not a guy (son).

She is going to respect her mom's wishes. There is a lot of difference between doing that and being controlled. The fact that mom is willing to let her do tandems makes me think it isn't that controlling.

She is over 18, but that doesn't automatically mean maturity. The number of times I 'm glad I followed/wish I had followed my parents wishes at that age far outweigh the number of times I wish I hadn't/was glad I didn't.


To the OP-

What would I do?

Split the money between tandems and tunnel time.
Tandems are still jumps. You are still getting your butt out of the plane and into the sky
You can learn a lot on a few tandems. The biggest being canopy procedures. Landing patterns and the effects of the wind on them, landing accuracy and the accuracy trick, flare heights, and such are much easier to learn with an instructor strapped to you than over a scratchy radio where the radio guy is half a mile away.
Yes, after two or three, the learning curve drops off quite a bit, but they are still jumps.

You can also learn a lot in the tunnel if you go with a plan, not just fooling around.
Talk with an AFFI and the tunnel coach. A good plan will give you the experience and skills to be able to blast right through the AFF levels.

Good luck

"There are NO situations which do not call for a French Maid outfit." Lucky McSwervy

"~ya don't GET old by being weak & stupid!" - Airtwardo

[Andy9o8 0]

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shall i guess???? that neither of you are parents of children???

Ding ding ding!

[Fast 0]

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Respect your mothers wishes and don't do AFF. As you noted, she has experience with skydiving and her concern is rational. You are 18 but you are also her son, and she has asked you to hold off on jumping until after collage. That's reasonable.

Your idea of going for a tandem with your friends later on in the summer makes sense. That way you can share the fun, and you will be making an approved skydive. However, I'd say just make one tandem (umm, or maybe two).

Find something else to do in the area for the summer. Perhaps SCUBA diving? Maybe learn to fly? Or hook up with an organization such as Habitat for Humanity.

This is such a fun planet to be on, I'm sure you will find a way to enjoy the summer and enhance your life.

I am going to go out on a limb and guess that the "risks" her mom are worried about don't really have anything to do with the skydiving part of things. Maybe, but come on, 20 year old girl + dropzone, what could possibly go wrong? Tandems are just as dangerous as solo skydives in my opinion, they have all the same risks so...?

That said, my parents went so far as to tell me I had to move out of their relatively low rent home or quit skydiving. I packed my shit up and moved out and it was the best possible decision I could have made. Since then I have been 99% dependant only on myself and feel pretty damn good about it.

I'm also really bad with "do this or else" stuff, tends to push me to "doing this" to see what "or else" really is. So maybe I'm not a great person to take advice from.

~D
Where troubles melt like lemon drops Away above the chimney tops That's where you'll find me.
Swooping is taking one last poke at the bear before escaping it's cave - davelepka

[MarkM 0]

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.... sorry guys...Chubba and MarkM... I Must disagree.....

shall i guess???? that neither of you are parents of children???
Fact is.. a Mom and /or a dad ARE entitled, in fact might be considered to be 'responsible' for their children...

Nope, just a son of a mother and father, neither of which put down silly conditions on how/whether they'd support me.

Rather shocking that's considered so far from the norm. Always thought they were both really amazing, feeling that even more after this thread.

[buff 0]

I think her mom has a vaild concern having grown up on a DZ. She does not want her daughter flashing pilots for extra altitude.

It's called the Hillbilly Hop N Pop dude.
If you're gonna be stupid, you better be tough.
That's fucked up. Watermelons do not grow on trees! ~Skymama

[jimmytavino 16]

'silly conditions' is a judgement call. what seems silly to one can be serious to another.

Cool as can be, that your Folks and You did not experience such things...

Do you have siblings???
sometimes that can factor in...
i. e . the OP may have brothers or sisters which could then factor into a Parents' thoughts...

Were you still in college when you began jumping??, as is the OP??...

or had you already established your independence?? bravo !! if that's the case...then parents can relish in the "adventuresome ways" of the child...especially if they are no longer covering living expenses...

Parents have built in sonar about their kids, and as others here have pointed out,, it could be the "apres' jumping" environment which concerns the Mom, more than the time from take-off to landing...
who knows...

Deference to the wishes of a Parent CAN help build character in a child...even if they are reluctant in their deference....

"if you want to Stand Out ,,, don't be different, be Outstanding"

skydive safely

jt

[Chubba 0]

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....Unsure sorry guys...Chubba and MarkM... I Must disagree.....

shall i guess???? that neither of you are parents of children???
Fact is.. a Mom and /or a dad ARE entitled, in fact might be considered to be 'responsible' for their children...

Rules are meant to be broken, don't get too bent out of shape, 18 years old everything is fair game.

The time for teenage rebelling is over, either go tell your mum you're going to do AFF (it's not asking, it's telling) or just hide the fact if it's going to create dramas.

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never should should one risk the "wrath of the Mother", by being defiant,,,
especially just because "some skydivers recommended it"...haahha
SEE???? the mother here knows what she's talking about..

Do it, defy, that's life... she will get over it.

[ocb217 0]

I just wanted to thank everyone for the responses!

I ordered a copy of the SIM and looked around for some other books. Are there any in particular you would recommend? Several have good reviews so I wasn't sure which ones to pick.

Audra

[dks13827 2]

buy used books cheap on amazon. get out there and do some tandems and enjoy... in a year or 2....... re eval !!!

[ZigZagMarquis 8]

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...My family... will not allow me to do AFF/solo skydives, but are okay with tandems.

What would you do?

First, finish college.

Second, get a job and move out.

Third, make it clear to your family that you're now an adult and will make your own decissions what to do with your time and money.

[Andy9o8 0]

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...My family... will not allow me to do AFF/solo skydives, but are okay with tandems.

What would you do?

First, finish college.

Second, get a job and move out.

Third, make it clear to your family that you're now an adult and will make your own decissions what to do with your time and money.

Fourth, once you're out on your own and are no longer dependent on them, stop telling them what you do. Not saying lie to them; just don't tell them. At some point in time everyone's parents stop having a need to know what they do. So just decline to discuss much anything personal about yourself. Hard for them to bitch about what they don't know. After a few months of that policy causing a bit of tension and awkwardness, it will eventually (even if grudgingly) morph into the norm. Been there, done that with my parents; now going thru that myself with my own young adult kids.

[ZigZagMarquis 8]

YEAH! And if once you graduate, move out and get a job, if you quit talking to them, quit going home for holidays, don't call or send flowers on mothers day, they quit bugging you! A move or two without telling them your new address / phone number helps. It takes about 10 years and they give up!!


I wasn't trying to be that harsh...

[mtbriles 0]

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Just wondering, what would you do?

I have the option to do tandems or NOT skydive. My family (who are helping pay for college) will not allow me to do AFF/solo skydives, but are okay with tandems. I had decided to not do tandems because it's a bit of a tease and I didn't feel it was cost effective in the long run. (My uncle, a skydiver, agreed with me and tried to encourage my family to allow AFF, but he didn't have much luck with them either) I love going to skyventure, but it just isn't the same.

Now I have two weeks off from school and I'm going stir crazy. (Already! I just finished classes today. ) Should I just give in and do a few tandems?

What would you do?

Pretty much same situation happend to me...
My dad supports skydiving my mom said if i did shed take my $$$ away for college (divorced parents)

I jumped anyway and dont regret it. Im not going to college oh well im skydiving. I really didnt even want to go anyway so idk its up to you.

Its a big big decision that youll have to make i found that is was SOOO worth it but who knows what skydiving will do for you.

Briles

Why not?
My direction in life is up...then down again REALLY REALLY FAST!!!
Never take life too seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.
D.S. #55

[Chubba 0]

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Pretty much same situation happend to me...
My dad supports skydiving my mom said if i did shed take my $$$ away for college (divorced parents)

I jumped anyway and dont regret it. Im not going to college oh well im skydiving. I really didnt even want to go anyway so idk its up to you.

...

Wow, you mum seriously sucks.

That's terrible.

[mtbriles 0]

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Pretty much same situation happend to me...
My dad supports skydiving my mom said if i did shed take my $$$ away for college (divorced parents)

I jumped anyway and dont regret it. Im not going to college oh well im skydiving. I really didnt even want to go anyway so idk its up to you.

...

Wow, you mum seriously sucks.

That's terrible.

Yup hasnt talked to me since

Briles

Why not?
My direction in life is up...then down again REALLY REALLY FAST!!!
Never take life too seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.
D.S. #55

[Andy9o8 0]

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YEAH! And if once you graduate, move out and get a job, if you quit talking to them, quit going home for holidays, don't call or send flowers on mothers day, they quit bugging you! A move or two without telling them your new address / phone number helps. It takes about 10 years and they give up!!

I wasn't trying to be that harsh...

Better yet, get your parents arrested on some trumped-up shit, and then take over their bank accounts. Hey, this is fun!

[kmfenaughty 0]

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Just wondering, what would you do?

I have the option to do tandems or NOT skydive. My family (who are helping pay for college) will not allow me to do AFF/solo skydives, but are okay with tandems. I had decided to not do tandems because it's a bit of a tease and I didn't feel it was cost effective in the long run. (My uncle, a skydiver, agreed with me and tried to encourage my family to allow AFF, but he didn't have much luck with them either) I love going to skyventure, but it just isn't the same.

Now I have two weeks off from school and I'm going stir crazy. (Already! I just finished classes today. ) Should I just give in and do a few tandems?

What would you do?

Do the TANDEMS for the following reasons ...

(1) You can learn a lot from doing TANDEMS, work w/ a TI that knows what's going on and you can do a lot of "instruction" in a TANDEM pair. TANDEM's don't have to be just for "fun".

(2) Add tunnel time to your TANDEMS ... this will GREATLY improve your freefall performance … work w/ an instructor in the tunnel … Skydive University is a great place to start http://www.skydiveu.com/ They offer professional coaching ... instead of your local "tunnel rat"

(3) Learn to be patient … perhaps with time and experience your parents will become more understanding … try and get them involved by coming to the DZ while you jump …. parents are always protective of their children and sometimes that comes across as a bit tyrannical … but let then see the look on your face when you come back from the jump … patients is a virtue http://wiki.answers.com/Q/Why_is_patience_a_virtue

(4) TANDEMS are not cost effective over the long haul but getting an EDUCATION will be !

(5) Life is long and you will go through many chapters in your life … you never know when you will need there help in the future … burning bridges is never a good idea !


This is just my opinion .... use it as "food for thought"

99% of the people on this earth are sheep ... dare to be different

[Sangi 0]

I don't get it, if you support yourself and get your own money, why don't you just start skydiving and don't tell anyone? Or is your mother following your every step?

To be honest, it's your frigging life, stand up for yourself and do what you want, not what she wants.

"Dream as you'll live forever, live as you'll die today." James Dean

[Andy9o8 0]

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I don't get it, if you support yourself and get your own money, why don't you just start skydiving and don't tell anyone? Or is your mother following your every step?

This has already been addressed up-thread. He's not yet fully financially independent - Mom pays his college tuition. So, his choices are either (a) respect her wishes until he's financially independent at the current pace, (b) wait until financial independence, but accelerate the pace to get to that point, or (c) do it behind her back, while still accepting her financial support, thereby being deliberately dishonest with her.

[Sangi 0]

Ok, so she only pays for his college tuitions?

Everything else, you support yourself? If yes, then why does she forbid to skydive (specially when she did that herself)? Seems to me like shes being a selfish control freak for hell knows what reason...

I say, do it behind her back dude, it's your life, you deserve to do what you want.. How does paying for college tuitions allows a parent to control the childs life and what he does for fun (specially when it's not a bad activity in any way), so what if you provide him with some money, it doesn't mean you can totally control every bit of his life, where's the frigging ethics in that?!

"Dream as you'll live forever, live as you'll die today." James Dean