0
skywombat

Do your parents know?

Recommended Posts

I just realized something that's way worse, is friends who are less than supportive of you jumping. I kind of expect parents to worry and care about your safety, etc. But friends I'd expect something different than making me think of time and money that goes into this sport.

I spent the day at the dz with a non-skydiver yesterday and he was respectful of the sport, community, etc. but somehow during dinner, in the middle of him talking about his life plans and wanting to settle down, find a new place to make home, etc. he made me feel guilty for what I do for fun.

The first time I didn't love skydiving as much as I normally do. I think its much worse when you have friends you want to understand why we do this but cannot.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Quote


I think its much worse when you have friends you want to understand why we do this but cannot.




BUT YOU DO have friends that understand!!! B|

~They're called SKYDIVERS :ph34r:;)


Ya can't expect wuff0s to understand without experiencing it, any more than you can expect a pig to sing....without any lessons! ;)










~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Quote



BUT YOU DO have friends that understand!!! B|

~They're called SKYDIVERS :ph34r:;)


Ya can't expect wuff0s to understand without experiencing it, any more than you can expect a pig to sing....without any lessons! ;)



Right on :) I had a temporary relapse of insecurity but I feel better now.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
I started a pre-military course in 1968, and a that time I was under 18, so both my parents had to accept officially (legalised signature) my registration.
1st week was ground-training, and 2nd week jump-week; in Belgium, that was (in those times), 3 balloon jumps, and 2 airplanes jumps (C-119 Flying Boxcar).

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Quote

I just realized something that's way worse, is friends who are less than supportive of you jumping. I kind of expect parents to worry and care about your safety, etc. But friends I'd expect something different than making me think of time and money that goes into this sport.

I spent the day at the dz with a non-skydiver yesterday and he was respectful of the sport, community, etc. but somehow during dinner, in the middle of him talking about his life plans and wanting to settle down, find a new place to make home, etc. he made me feel guilty for what I do for fun.

The first time I didn't love skydiving as much as I normally do. I think its much worse when you have friends you want to understand why we do this but cannot.



I had run into the same problem... They would say, "You're going to the drop zone again this weekend?" They weren't complaining when I was at the bar every weekend. If they don't get it... TOO BAD FOR THEM!
AKA MG Hammer Flying Hellfish #834 Son's Of Bacon #1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
My parents know, they knew beforehand when I did my tandem jump, and they know my brother is going to take S/L this spring. They're very supportive, and think it's great that I've found something I love and so many great friends.
My mother would not be caught dead in an airplane herself, but my father (aged 78) wants to do a tandem jump. It will be a present from us sons on his 80th birthday, possibly an early present if he comes to visit this year (we live in Sweden, our parents in Norway).

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
My parents bought me my tandem and my Dad even managed to get out of hospital to watch me jump for the first time. I remember him apologising when I landed - "sorry but I know that look too well - I've just contributed to the fact that you'll never have a free weekend or any spare money ever again". Luckily because he was a pilot and Mum used to fly with him, they understood and were always very supportive and proud of my hobby :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Quote

If my mother found out, she would absolutely freak, descend into that "nervous wreck" state and make me promise to her I would never do it again. So, for now, there's no reason to tell her.



Well, how do you think she's going to feel when she gets a call that you've been injured without even knowing that you were skydiving? Besides being upset that you're hurt, she's going to be pissed at you for not being honest with her.

If you're old enough to skydive on your own, you're old enough to have an adult relationship with your mom. Sit down and talk to her. Be armed with statistics of the fatality rate compared to # of jumps per year (2009 was the lowest fatality rate in 40 years!) and go over with her the steps that you take to be safe.

My kids like me to tell them when I'm jumping, so I send them a text on my way to the dz and text or talk afterwards. They just like to hear that I'm ok and I don't mind doing that for them. So, maybe you can do that for your mom too.
She is Da Man, and you better not mess with Da Man,
because she will lay some keepdown on you faster than, well, really fast. ~Billvon

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Yes, my parents know... I first told my mom about it the day that I did my first jump (an AFF Level 1) when she called me about something unrelated shortly after landing.

I spoke to them additionally when my parents came to visit me a few weeks later and discovered that my dad had once gone up with some friends many years before for an observer ride while they jumped out...

a few years ago when my parents were out at the dz for an afternoon... I bought him an observer ride and he watched me and my then girlfriend (now wife) jump... which he enjoyed it... I gave him one of my cameras and he took a couple of pictures of us getting out of the plane...

alas... the most annoying thing (sometimes although other times it's awesome) is that the Rents spend their winters in Casa Grande, AZ and regularly call during the winter (while I'm stuck in Ohio) to tell me about going out to Eloy to watch skydiving... but it is nice because it means my wife and I can go visit them and run off to the dz for some fun ourselves occasionally... :DB|
Livin' on the Edge... sleeping with my rigger's wife...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Quote

If you're old enough to skydive on your own, you're old enough to have an adult relationship with your mom. Sit down and talk to her. Be armed with statistics of the fatality rate compared to # of jumps per year....



With all do respect, Skymama, I must disagree with you, at least for me. I have a very good, “adult” relationship with my Mom. So much so that I don’t see the need to cause her lots of unnecessary stress and anxiety. And talking about the fatality rate??? You jest, no?

First hand experience with this topic: in 1991 I was hiking to get to an untracked chute and I fell off a cliff above Alta, Utah. After I got out of the hospital I spent some time recovering at my parents house. They were great, but my Mom ran around saying (please read this quote with a Jewish accent): “It’s a plot to kill the mother! It’s a plot to kill the mother!” To this day, every time I go skiing she gets way, way nervous. Why put her though that every weekend?
www.wci.nyc

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
I didn't tell my Mom until after I made my first jump. She wasn't very supportive when I was a student. I had to call her after every jump to tell her I was ok. (well I was 19 at the time) Now, she has done a tandem jump. She brags big time about her jump, pulling out her still pictures to show everyone she meets in a public place. She brags about me too, (because I'm an instructor) to other people. Funny how they don't support you when you start jumping, and then when you do well, all of a sudden, they support you as if they did right from the start.

And NO I don't call her after every jump anymore to tell her that I'm ok. Geez. I'm 29 for pity sake.
http://3ringnecklace.com/

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Quote

And talking about the fatality rate??? You jest, no?



I'm totally serious. Most whuffos have the opinion that you're going to die just because you're jumping from an airplane. Last year's fatality rate was pretty low as compared to how many skydives were completed. I actually showed my parents the report in Parachutist when I first started and explained the different fatalities and how most of them are pilot errors. If there's a fatality from a swooping error, I remind them that I don't do that. I talk to them about the risks I don't take such as downsizing anymore or what limits I have for myself for winds and what groups I jump with.

Trust me, my parents would love for me to give up skydiving but after talking with them they don't fuss about it nearly as much...or else they've just given up. :ph34r:
She is Da Man, and you better not mess with Da Man,
because she will lay some keepdown on you faster than, well, really fast. ~Billvon

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Quote

Quote

If you're old enough to skydive on your own, you're old enough to have an adult relationship with your mom. Sit down and talk to her. Be armed with statistics of the fatality rate compared to # of jumps per year....



With all do respect, Skymama, I must disagree with you, at least for me. I have a very good, “adult” relationship with my Mom. So much so that I don’t see the need to cause her lots of unnecessary stress and anxiety. And talking about the fatality rate??? You jest, no?



I'm going to have to say +1 also. You may say that I'm not doing a good enough job to have an adult relationship with my mom but respectfully, you don't know what my mom is like. And being Asian. I don't like stereotypes, but Asian parents certainly can be particularly traditional, conservative, protect them from the world that it means they don't let us live the life we want to. At least without being classed as "rebellious" or "disobedient". Open relationships are best with parents, and I would love to be able to share my experiences with my mom about this but there is much more pain and heartache involved with trying to fight for what you want without breaking that very relationship you have with them. It's their way or the highway.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Quote

So, do your parents know you jump? Did you outright tell them, or did they discover it some other way? How did they find out? What was the reaction?

If my mother found out, I would be dead before I hit the ground, so I don't plan on coming out of the gear closet any time soon. What about you?



Don't get hurt then.

As an adult, why do you feel you can't tell them?
My grammar sometimes resembles that of magnetic refrigerator poetry... Ghetto

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Quote

Quote

If you're old enough to skydive on your own, you're old enough to have an adult relationship with your mom. Sit down and talk to her. Be armed with statistics of the fatality rate compared to # of jumps per year....



With all do respect, Skymama, I must disagree with you, at least for me. I have a very good, “adult” relationship with my Mom. So much so that I don’t see the need to cause her lots of unnecessary stress and anxiety. And talking about the fatality rate??? You jest, no?

First hand experience with this topic: in 1991 I was hiking to get to an untracked chute and I fell off a cliff above Alta, Utah. After I got out of the hospital I spent some time recovering at my parents house. They were great, but my Mom ran around saying (please read this quote with a Jewish accent): “It’s a plot to kill the mother! It’s a plot to kill the mother!” To this day, every time I go skiing she gets way, way nervous. Why put her though that every weekend?




Pretty much my attitude & experience, too. As I said up-thread, my mom was the hysterical type (maybe you have to have one to know what that's like), and BY FAR simply not telling her was the path of least resistance. 30+ years later, with grown kids of my own, I'm still certain I did the right thing. For me.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Quote

I'm going to have to say +1 also.



OK, so if you get injured, are you going to be truthful about how you got hurt? If you don't tell her, how do you think she's going to take the fact that you've kept your skydiving a secret?

I'm tellin' ya, from a mom's perspective; the wrath my kids would get from me for not being honest would be much more painful than whatever injury they got. ;)
She is Da Man, and you better not mess with Da Man,
because she will lay some keepdown on you faster than, well, really fast. ~Billvon

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Can you say that without it sounding insulting :P

Edit: By the way, my parents have known all along. They know I BASE jump too.

My mom raised me so it has been no surprise that her son decided to jump from airplanes. It was then no surprise when I started to jump off of things.

My mom has done 2 tandems. She understands completely.

My older brother wanted to do a BASE jump a while back. I said if he really wanted to go then I'll take him but he has to have permission from Mom first :D. I'm not joking about that either. She said yes.
My grammar sometimes resembles that of magnetic refrigerator poetry... Ghetto

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
And some parents would simply put so much pressure - whether it be emotional blackmail or even more substantial means - that the consequences of them finding out are that you would be stopped from further engaging in that activity again - or at least, that you would now have to be deliberately defiant and untruthful, rather than just a sin of omission.

You have the perspective of a modern American. Lots of people of my parent's generation - the WWII generation whose parents immigrated to America from The Old Country at the turn of the 20th Century - lived essentially the same experience as Emmiwy. No way in hell would those immigrant parents have allowed their big-band loving kids do half the things they did - so their kids simply didn't tell them. Because they - just like Dean, and Emmiwy and Skybytch and I - all understand that it is far better to ask for forgiveness in the event you're found out, than to let them know and be effectively cut off at the knees.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
I told my parents about my first jump a couple of days after I did it. I signed my brother up for a tandem jump for his 18th birthday and I decided to go with him, so we ended up doing 2 tandem and did video and photos on both. After we did the jump, we were both hooked and decided to continue jumping doing a course at the DZ.

I couldn't keep the secret from my parents at the time, especially since I was living with them. About 3 days after our tandem, I sat my mother down and showed her the video. It looked as though she was going to have a heart attack.

To my surprise, amazement, and every other synonym you can think of, she actually asked that we tell her when we were jumping again so she could go watch us!

Every week she was asking if we were going to the DZ that Sunday so she could pack some food and watch us land.

Yes, I have a very cool mother!
--
Raul Ruiz
'A' License Wannabe

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Quote

OK, so if you get injured, are you going to be truthful about how you got hurt? If you don't tell her, how do you think she's going to take the fact that you've kept your skydiving a secret?

I'm tellin' ya, from a mom's perspective; the wrath my kids would get from me for not being honest would be much more painful than whatever injury they got.



I believe the ethics of this situation can be summarized as: “What causes the least harm to the person you care about?” While I’m never dishonest with my parents I do omit certain details concerning my aviating. For the sake of argument, let’s say these "sins of omissions," as Andy called them, do contain a small component of dishonesty. Now, I absolutely know that telling my Mom about my skydiving will cause her a lot of pain and discomfort. So which choice causes the least harm?

Regarding getting hurt: if it’s a minor injury I’m not sure what I’d do. If it’s a major, life-threatening injury than this is the least of my (and her) concerns. I like hookitt’s suggestion: don’t get hurt. (note to self :-)
www.wci.nyc

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Quote

...If you're old enough to skydive on your own, you're old enough to have an adult relationship with your mom...



You are assuming that the mom is capable of having an adult relationship with the kid.

I'm fortunate to have (had) an adult relationship with my parents. One of the reasons I do with my mom is because her mom was very controlling, manipulative and difficult to get along with. My mom hated that she couldn't share a lot of really cool things with her mom because of the way she (my grandmother) was. Mom didn't want that with me or my sisters.:)
"There are NO situations which do not call for a French Maid outfit." Lucky McSwervy

"~ya don't GET old by being weak & stupid!" - Airtwardo

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
I grew up on a dropzone. My dad was a jump pilot and has about 500 jumps, I think my mom did about 20 jumps. They met skydiving. Dad still dose a few jumps every year. I don't think my mom like the idea of me being involved in the sport but she supports me in doing what makes me happy. It has definatly brought me and my dad closer together since I started jumping. I wish I was able to jump with him more often. We are looking at going to bridge day together this year to do our first base jump together. I think that would be awesome. It's one thing he has always wanted to do.
Have you seen my pants?
it"s a rough life, Livin' the dream
>:)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

0