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peanutgallery

Unsupportive spouse???

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if your jump numbers are correct, i would suggest you sit back take some time and try to think like a mature adult.
Reverse the situation and try to honestly apraise what your feeling might be.
If you cant do that your probably doomed anyways



Eh...I don't know if I agree with you. I don't see what my jump numbers has to do with it. I discovered a sport that I LOVE and he should be happy for me. I'm offended by your comment to "think like a mature adult" as you don't know the whole situation and are being very quick to pass judgement. Thanks for the input anyway.
I used to have a handle on life, but it broke

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Eh...I don't know if I agree with you. I don't see what my jump numbers has to do with it. I discovered a sport that I LOVE and he should be happy for me. I'm offended by your comment to "think like a mature adult" as you don't know the whole situation and are being very quick to pass judgement. Thanks for the input anyway.



I'm sorry, but I think your jump numbers have a lot to do with it. Those of us who have been around see this a lot. People get intoxicated by their new lifestyle, and forget about everything but it. You're not going to have the same feeling every time you jump. That rush goes away in 100 jumps or so. Those of us who stick around after do so because we have found something else in the sport which keeps us there - probably relationships with our fellow jumpers and/or a discipline which makes us excited. Trust me when I say that your marriage is more important, assuming you have a good relationship otherwise. Yes, your husband should be supportive of your choices. But skydiving isn't like picking up soccer or ultimate frisbee. It's dangerous, and I think that your spouse has a say in whether you enagage in a life-threatening activity.

I'm not in the same situation as you. My husband and I met on a jump plane. We got married on that same plane, and we still jump together a lot. But if he asked me to choose between him and skydiving, the choice would be simple: I would choose him. I love him more than any weekend activity. And while it may not be fair for him to make me choose, I can envision a lot of situations which would make it reasonable for him to ask me to stop.

We actually encountered a slightly different situation about a year ago. I really wanted to get into BASE, and started talking to him about it. He didn't want me to. Although he encouraged me to jump at bridge day, he was uncomfortable about how much more dangerous it is than skydiving. I respected that, and didn't get into it.

Although people joke about AIDS, I think that those marriages probably ended because of other problems. I would have a hard time respecting someone who ONLY ended a marriage because of skydiving. "Until death do us part" does not mean "until I find something cool and dangerous to do on the weekends." I'm realizing more and more that skydiving is not a way of life for me anymore - it's just something fun I do with my friends on the weekends a couple times a month. And I generally do around 300-400 jumps a year. That's more than a lot of jumpers. And I'm thinking that it's like that for lots of people who jump. It's not worth causing your marriage problems to do something which will eventually turn into a weekend hobby, even if it seems like you can't turn away from it now. And although Squeak may be wrong in asking you to think like a mature adult, I think he's right in suggesting that you get some perspective.

Just two cents from someone who has been around for a little while.

Brie
"Ive seen you hump air, hump the floor of the plane, and hump legs. You now have a new nickname: "Black Humper of Death"--yardhippie

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okay......I started this thread for advice on the support thing and to see if anyone else has had the same problem and now it has turned into me ending my marriage due to skydiving, which is totally not the case. I can see where you are coming from that I am still on a "high" from being new at it but I still don't think that should have anything to do with it. So that being said...I am NOT getting divorced due to skydiving, I just wish my husband would be a little more supportive. That's it.
I used to have a handle on life, but it broke

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I can see where you are coming from that I am still on a "high" from being new at it but I still don't think that should have anything to do with it.



And my point was that it has everything to do with it. But you're free to ignore my advice to take a step back and think about your situation.

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So that being said...I am NOT getting divorced due to skydiving, I just wish my husband would be a little more supportive. That's it.



I think what I was trying to convey is that your husband has a point in not supporting you. He has a say in whether you risk your life on the weekends. I never said you were getting divorced. My thoughts on the subject were a response to the general tenor of the thread.

Brie
"Ive seen you hump air, hump the floor of the plane, and hump legs. You now have a new nickname: "Black Humper of Death"--yardhippie

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I'm sorry, but I think your jump numbers have a lot to do with it. Those of us who have been around see this a lot. People get intoxicated by their new lifestyle, and forget about everything but it. You're not going to have the same feeling every time you jump. That rush goes away in 100 jumps or so. Those of us who stick around after do so because we have found something else in the sport which keeps us there - probably relationships with our fellow jumpers and/or a discipline which makes us excited. Trust me when I say that your marriage is more important, assuming you have a good relationship otherwise. Yes, your husband should be supportive of your choices. But skydiving isn't like picking up soccer or ultimate frisbee. It's dangerous, and I think that your spouse has a say in whether you enagage in a life-threatening activity.

I'm not in the same situation as you. My husband and I met on a jump plane. We got married on that same plane, and we still jump together a lot. But if he asked me to choose between him and skydiving, the choice would be simple: I would choose him. I love him more than any weekend activity. And while it may not be fair for him to make me choose, I can envision a lot of situations which would make it reasonable for him to ask me to stop.

We actually encountered a slightly different situation about a year ago. I really wanted to get into BASE, and started talking to him about it. He didn't want me to. Although he encouraged me to jump at bridge day, he was uncomfortable about how much more dangerous it is than skydiving. I respected that, and didn't get into it.

Although people joke about AIDS, I think that those marriages probably ended because of other problems. I would have a hard time respecting someone who ONLY ended a marriage because of skydiving. "Until death do us part" does not mean "until I find something cool and dangerous to do on the weekends." I'm realizing more and more that skydiving is not a way of life for me anymore - it's just something fun I do with my friends on the weekends a couple times a month. And I generally do around 300-400 jumps a year. That's more than a lot of jumpers. And I'm thinking that it's like that for lots of people who jump. It's not worth causing your marriage problems to do something which will eventually turn into a weekend hobby, even if it seems like you can't turn away from it now. And although Squeak may be wrong in asking you to think like a mature adult, I think he's right in suggesting that you get some perspective.

Just two cents from someone who has been around for a little while.

Brie


This is without a doubt, the very best dissertation ever posted on this issue, it could not have been put any more eloquently…

Well done Brie!

Mykel AFF-I10
Skydiving Priorities: 1) Open Canopy. 2) Land Safely. 3) Don’t hurt anyone. 4) Repeat…

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if he asked me to choose between him and skydiving, the choice would be simple: I would choose him. I love him more than any weekend activity. And while it may not be fair for him to make me choose, I can envision a lot of situations which would make it reasonable for him to ask me to stop.



I Agree...and I did 12 years ago

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This is without a doubt, the very best dissertation ever posted on this issue, it could not have been put any more eloquently…

Well done Brie!



:$ Thanks. My husband is at the headdown record attempts this week, and I have a little time on my hands this weekend.

Brie
"Ive seen you hump air, hump the floor of the plane, and hump legs. You now have a new nickname: "Black Humper of Death"--yardhippie

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And although Squeak may be wrong in asking you to think like a mature adult, I think he's right in suggesting that you get some perspective.

Just two cents from someone who has been around for a little while.

Brie


Thanks Bec, I was doing for the readers Digest version:ph34r::ph34r::ph34r:.
But i do stand by my statement, thinking like a mature adult instead of a giddy adolescent, will help put some perspective on her jumping
You are not now, nor will you ever be, good enough to not die in this sport (Sparky)
My Life ROCKS!
How's yours doing?

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Hey peanutgallery
How's things with the hubby?
Has he come around? Is he jumping? How'd it work out?





Not trying to be a smart arse, i was searching for something else and this came up.
Got me wondering how it resolved?
You are not now, nor will you ever be, good enough to not die in this sport (Sparky)
My Life ROCKS!
How's yours doing?

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well, they didn't work out. We divorced in June 08 :( There were many other issues, certainly not just skydiving...



I hope you are still jumping,

From personal knowledge, I say that the best thing about divorce is the freedom to skydive it gives you :)
"Where troubles melt like lemon drops, away above the chimney tops, that's where you'll find me" Dorothy

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My girlfriend is great when it comes to me skydiving. She enjoys going to the DZ, catching some rays and reading a book. I tell her she doesn't have to go but she says she enjoys it. She hasn't jumped yet but I think I'll get her up this year. I think she would be great at it if she liked it. She used to do ballet and would be able to arch her ass off;) If not, she understands how much it means to me and would never be mad at me for jumping. Occasionaly I have to miss a weekend of jumping to do something she wants to do but I can handle that.
AKA MG Hammer Flying Hellfish #834 Son's Of Bacon #1

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My girlfriend is great when it comes to me skydiving. She enjoys going to the DZ, catching some rays and reading a book. I tell her she doesn't have to go but she says she enjoys it. She hasn't jumped yet but I think I'll get her up this year. I think she would be great at it if she liked it. She used to do ballet and would be able to arch her ass off;) If not, she understands how much it means to me and would never be mad at me for jumping. Occasionaly I have to miss a weekend of jumping to do something she wants to do but I can handle that.




You only lose your turn... ;)










~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~

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The way it's worked out SO FAR with me and my wife of 22 years:

1. Skydiving is my thing, not hers, and she's okay with it, SO FAR. Besides, she's got her own activities that don't involve me, which is great.

2. Balance of time, mindshare and expenses is what we've been working towards so that neither of us is hogging it all. That's been working out well SO FAR (four and a half months). Stay tuned.

3. As long as I can walk in the door safe and sound after a jump day, everything is cool.

I should add that my wife is incredible for putting up with me for so many years (lucky me) and we've been through much muddier water than uneventful skydiving could kick up, so I have high hopes SO FAR.

Best of luck for all those people new to skydiving like me who are in a committed relationship that have to find a way to make it work with their non-skydiving S.O. At this point, I couldn't imagine the nightmare of having to deal with an ultimatum from my wife.

Joe
simplify

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The way it's worked out SO FAR with me and my wife of 22 years:

1. Skydiving is my thing, not hers, and she's okay with it, SO FAR. Besides, she's got her own activities that don't involve me, which is great.

2. Balance of time, mindshare and expenses is what we've been working towards so that neither of us is hogging it all. That's been working out well SO FAR (four and a half months). Stay tuned.

3. As long as I can walk in the door safe and sound after a jump day, everything is cool.

I should add that my wife is incredible for putting up with me for so many years (lucky me) and we've been through much muddier water than uneventful skydiving could kick up, so I have high hopes SO FAR.

Best of luck for all those people new to skydiving like me who are in a committed relationship that have to find a way to make it work with their non-skydiving S.O. At this point, I couldn't imagine the nightmare of having to deal with an ultimatum from my wife.

Joe



It's still early...[:/]
Please don't dent the planet.

Destinations by Roxanne

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There is a difference between someone being unsupportive of an activity and being opposed to it.

My situation may be one of the few lucky exceptions. I've been married for 36 years and have been jumping for 33 of them. My wife has made one tandem, and has no interest in doing another. We have two grown daughters who both skydive.

My wife doesn't mind the skydiving, just the time spent all weekend at the DZ, so we compromise. I spend one day each weeekend at the DZ and the other day doing something together with her. She has no interest in accompanying me to the DZ, which is fine. However, she wouldn't miss going if either of the daughters are jumping, so occasionally I luck out and get to the DZ both days on a weekend.

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